My Ruin
Disclaimer: I do not own anything except this idea and/or any original characters that might appear.
Summary: Oh yes, it hurt, it hurt like hell, he didn't love her, she was blind to even think such a thought. He had made her feel like she was put on this forsaken earth just for him, and it had made her feel . . . special . . . for just one moment in her life. But that feeling was long dead, it had died with whatever love they both once shared. Which in this case, there was none.
Rated: R for violence, abuse, and language, NO lemon because I'm too young to write such things.
Genre: Romance/Horror/Drama
Note: As for the songs I put in before the chapter sometimes they will be the entire song or just a part of the song, I do not own these songs and they are only put here because I feel they explain the story in a strange way.
4444
Far away,
I escape,
Hold me close,
and I break,
Let me break . . .
-Can't (Halloween Valentine)
Written and performed by Scarling
4444
Rage.
Anger.
Hate.
Longing.
Love.
Dying.
Crying.
Suffering.
Bleeding.
Suffocating.
Hurting . . .
Emotions were such a terrible sin if such a thing existed, terrible indeed, so terrible a nihilist could almost believe in them. A raging eternal fire that never stopped except when you met your death and your soul scattered into fragments of nothing. He knew this all to well, but the emotion he mostly lived with was obsession and love, a terrible, horrible, nasty mix. His love for her was so strong, so very, very strong that it almost made him feel like he was a small child drowning in that of a public pool without anyone they're to save him. Had he really made her want to kill herself? Was his obsession that bad? Was his abuse that horrible? All she had to do was what he asked of her and she wouldn't be touched. He was a cruel breast, he'd admit, just the thought that he caused her pain made him smile.
A sadist perhaps?
Maybe so, maybe no. He remembered the day he had snapped so vividly as if it had happened every day of his worthless life. They had been fighting because of the fact that she had gotten a bit to close to a man named Takeo, something he feared the most, having her leave him for another frightened him beyond belief. But when she had scream, "I don't see why you care so much, if I loved him I wouldn't be here with you! I love you! Why can't you see that!" he had slapped her, what was his reason? He didn't know, nor did he care to know.
Truthfully, he felt that the more he frightened her the more she'd be scared to leave him, he wanted her to feel the fear he felt of her abandoning him. All of it. He felt that if he beat her, he could at the same protect her from all of those who threatened to take her from him.
But slowly he began doing it just for the pleasure of seeing her in pain, the thoughts of her crying out all because of him, made him fee complete in some sickening way. Yes as he said before, he did love her, he loved her more then the world itself. If he had the choice to believe in only one thing he'd believe in her and her alone.
Just the thought of living without her was sickening. Slowly his mind began to sing Nine Inch Nails lyrics to him . . .
She spreads her legs wide open to let the insects in,
She leaves a trail of honey to show me where she's been,
She has the blood of reptile just underneath the skin,
Seeds of a thousand others drip down from within,
Oh my beautiful liar,
Oh my precious whore,
My disease my invention,
I am so un-pure . . .
So instead he beat her, he tortured her, and he frightened her, just to keep her safe from everyone else. But now she had run away, fled from him, abandoned him, right as he was about to try and stop himself from his absurd obsession.
He hated himself, he hated the world, he hated the animals, he hated the rain, he hated the sun, he hated the moon, he hated everything in existence, all except her . . .
'She said' His mind reeled, 'She'd never leave me.'
She left him to rot, left him to die alone without anything but a memory. He'd, however, get her back, he swore to it, with every being in his body, if another man even touched her, he'd be dead before nightfall. She was his, his alone, no one else's.
"No one" He said to himself, "Can have her but me."
For the first time in ten years, tears fell from his closed eyelids . . .
Notes: Happy now? Hehe. SORRY FOR SHORTNESS!!! R&R PLEASE!!!!!