My Ruin

Disclaimer: I do not own anything except this idea and/or any original characters that might appear.

Summary: Oh yes, it hurt, it hurt like hell, he didn't love her, she was blind to even think such a thought. He had made her feel like she was put on this forsaken earth just for him, and it had made her feel . . . special . . . for just one moment in her life. But that feeling was long dead, it had died with whatever love they both once shared. Which in this case, there was none.

Rated: R for violence, abuse, and language, NO lemon because I'm too young to write such things.

Genre: Romance/Horror/Drama

Note: As for the songs I put in before the chapter sometimes they will be the entire song or just a part of the song. I do not own these songs and they are only put here because I feel they explain the story in a strange way . . . btw Babes in Toyland are an actual band.

Review Replies:

Tesuka-chan: I love The Cure! In fact on July 28th I'm going to go see them in concert! And yeah Lovesong is on the 50 First Dates Soundtrack but that band 311 did a cover of it. To bad you can't write lemons . . . . hehe I guess I'll just have to do it myself!

Rouge: Everybody's hoping the same thing about Aoshi

Female Hitokiri Battousai: Oh my . . . thank you very much! Wow, I don't think I've ever had so many compliments before.

SofaAndAnime: Yes the love song! Hahaha Aoshi in Therapy would make a good side story I might do that as a small extra once this fic is finished.

Ruby: Thank you!

Madam Jade: Hahaha, thank you, you would probably like my story Porcelain Doll too.

Death Muffin: I love Jack Off Jill and Scarling, Jessicka is my goddess! Hehe thanks very much for the nice comments.

Yoyoiacat: Thanks very much!

T-chan: Hope I updated soon enough!

Bunnys123: Yes people review my awesome fic!

Deadly Diva: Thanks! However I do not know what's wrong with Aoshi . . . he's just . . . weird shifty eyes

Kay-san1(ShinomoriMiyu: Yes stories are always better if you can relate to them and the characters. I'm glad you got out of that situation though.

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It's all fucked you've blown it,

There is no recovery,

It's all fucked you've blown it,

You took that away from me . . .

-Black Horse Riding Star Written and performed by Scarling

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Cold.

She shook in her sleep, twitching violently back and forth, how it hurt, tears still streamed down from her closed sleeping eyes and the cold air tortured her body as she slept even through a thick cotton blanket. Her eyes opened slightly and then she jerked, siting up she took in her surroundings.

She was in the apartment Kenshin and Kaoru had been kind enough to buy for her, the apartment was just one of the many buildings of Tokyo and Kenshin and Kaoru lived next door. It had been three weeks since her escape from him. Over the time she had been in Tokyo she had met two women a few years older then she who had gone through the same things she had, their names were Okon and Omasu. It was nice to know she wasn't alone, it was very nice actually, Okon and Omasu has shared everything with her, books, movies, CD's, you name it.

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They both walked up to her, no expression on their faces, what had Kenshin told them?
"Hi" the one called Omasu said to her.
"Hey"
"Your name is Misao right?"
She nodded affirmative.
"My name is Omasu and my friend's name is Okon"
Okon smiled. Misao smiled back.
"Kenshin tells us you've been through a lot lately."
"Yes."
Okon and Omasu nodded Okon then took over by sticking out her hand for a handshake.
"Welcome to the club, we've been through the same thing."

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Every since that night they had all been inseparable, they had shared things with her, their experiences, but they never asked her what hers had been, the respected her privacy and said they would only ask her if she was ready to talk about it.

They were one of the few reasons she hadn't killed herself yet out of fear, three weeks . . . no beatings, no scabs, no bruises, no blood, no blindfolds or chains . . . god it felt good to be free. Slowly she walked over to her closet and put on a pair of silk black pants and a forest green shirt, she looked in the mirror and almost didn't recognize herself, she had gotten tanner and had gotten a hair too. Her hair was now just a few centimeters below her shoulders instead of past her ass.

She had gotten into a nice college too, under a different name of course though, Miyuki Kokoro, Kenshin had picked out the name.

She walked out of the room slowly heading for the kitchen.

"Ohayo Gozaimasu Ogenki desu ka Kotori?"
She froze. Dropping the cup she had grabbed from the cabinet, it couldn't be. No, no, please god no . . .
She turned around slowly, not caring that her bare feet had been cut from the glass of the cup she had dropped, and slowly she realized with a sigh of relief that the words had come from an animal planet type cannel on the T.V.
"Paranoia, that's all."
She hissed in slight pain at the feeling of glass penetrating her foot, pulling her foot up into the air she jerked the glass pieces out of her foot. The feeling was nothing; she had felt worse she wouldn't need to bandage anything.

"Miyuki?" The voice of Kenshin said behind the front door.
"Just a minute!" She was still getting used to the name.
She limped slowly over to the door before unlocking it to come face to face with Kenshin, the man whom had saved her.
"Miyuki-dono what happened to your foot?"
She looked down; "I got scared and dropped a glass cup by accident. It's nothing to worry about though."
"Oh, well Kaoru and I are going to the market would you like to come with us?"
"No thanks." She said quietly, "I'll be fine here."
"Alright, if you need us you know where to find us."
She nodded smiling half way before saying her good byes and shutting the door.

She picked the glass out of her foot, it did not hurt her, nothing really hurt her anymore to be honest. She guessed that was why no one really talked to her much.

Ring, ring, ring . . .

She picked up the phone, "Misao . . . I mean Miyuki this is Omasu I've got a question for you."
"Hai?"
"Come down to me and Okon's place and I'll ask ok?"
"Alright."

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"You want me to what?"
"Please!!!!" they begged.
With a sigh she closed her eyes, "Ok, but you to know just as good as I do that we would have to be very careful."
"Oh yes we know." Omasu said.
"After all" Okon said, "We are all in hiding, so we'll be in disguise you know, like lots of make-up, new hairstyles, and the changed names."
She nodded. What had she gotten herself into? She had just agreed to be the lead singer of a band! What the fuck was wrong with her?

Notes: Ok that's all for now, if I continued this chapter it would be a drag on and it would seem really forced and yeah so does the band idea but it's a good idea I swear, I just couldn't fit it in right without it seeming forced . . . don't complain, I could have discontinues to story!!!! Hehe . . . R&R please.