My Ruin
Disclaimer: I do not own anything except this idea and/or any original characters that might appear.
Summary: Oh yes, it hurt, it hurt like hell, he didn't love her, she was blind to even think such a thought. He had made her feel like she was put on this forsaken earth just for him, and it had made her feel . . . special . . . for just one moment in her life. But that feeling was long dead, it had died with whatever love they both once shared. Which in this case, there was none.
Rated: R for violence, abuse, and language, NO lemon because I'm too young to write such things.
Genre: Romance/Horror/Drama
Note: Haha I got all of you guys with Misao joining a band hahahaha. Boy I really need a new hobby . . .
Secondary Note: As for the songs I put in before the chapter sometimes they will be the entire song or just a part of the song. I do not own these songs and they are only put here because I feel they explain the story in a strange way . . .
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He waits for her to understand,
But she won't understand at all,
She waits all night for him to call,
But he won't call anymore . . .
He waits to hear her say:
"Forgive"
But she just drops her pearl black eyes, And prays to hear him say:
"I love you"
But he tells no more lies . . .
-Apart
Written and performed by The Cure
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Deep breath, take a huge swig of water, breathe in, breathe out, stay calm, you can do this.
She was nervous, even though only 60 people stood in the crowd, she was a whole new person practically she looked nothing like she did before. White face make-up, crimson lipstick, eyeliner, black eye shadow, rat-tails in her long hair, and to top it off an outfit that screamed abused.
She opened her mouth and screamed a long loud roar that made the audience jump a little.
"See yourself through my eyes, and you get fucked
Everybody's simple, they're simply fucked
See yourself in the mirror, you look the same
Peel at the sheets, and lick the stain
Put me in the corner; blot me in the powder
Take me like the poison, then kill yourself
See yourself in the mirror, you look the same
Everybody's crazy, but I stay sane"
She pulled out the razor that she held inside her pocket, showed her bare arm to the crowd and rip a deep bleeding wound was born. She loved her new experiments since joining her wretched band, she always thought cutting was a cowardly way of relieving stress but, oh god, once she had tried it she couldn't stop.
"See yourself through my eyes, cause you wanna fuck
The little teenage boy, that we wanna fuck
Put me in the corner; blot me in the powder
Take me like the poison, then kill yourself
We all . . .
Like it more . . .
When we . . .
Get raped . . ."
She tore down some of the equipment, nothing important though, she then smashed the mic-stand into the wall making a hole. She felt drunk, high, and fucked all at once but yet it felt good, it felt good standing on stage screaming and destroying things, it felt good frightening people, but mostly it felt good to be a shock performer.
"Can't give it back when you whine about it
Can't you accept when it is a fuck?
Can't you accept when you wanna fuck?
You can't kill your
Put me in the corner; blot me in the powder
Take me like a poison, then kill yourself
See yourself through my eyes, and you get fucked
Everybody's crazy, they're simply fucked
See yourself in the mirror, you look the same
Peel at the sheets, and lick the stain
Put me in the corner; blot me in the powder
Take me like a poison, then kill yourself"
Ever since she ran away, she had slowly turned violent by the second, she fell to the stage on her knees, reached into her pockets and threw candy-covered razors onto the crowd. Some cut themselves purposely with them to be closer to her, others avoided them like cowards, and others licked the candy off and saved the razor. She opened her eyes a noticed blood everywhere, dripping from her arms and legs, it was all over the stage floor, but it didn't matter, she had seen and been through worse.
"Strolls on south
Steal my old clothes
What he sees is what he knows
Though he's nervous it never shows
She welcomes him with open arms
Steps on his feet and his lucky
Charms, charms
You can save what you are
A pile of extra shit
Shit."
With that she scream another long scream and that was it, she was done, the concert was finally over with. She walked off stage with her band to their dressing rooms and bandaged her arms and legs.
"You pulled quiet a number on yourself 'Kire' you should be more careful" Omasu said.
"It's nothing don't worry about it" She said sounding tired.
Okon laughed, "You wrecked the entire room, I think you destroyed $500 in equipment too."
"I don't care anymore," She said, "I just want to sleep right now, you know I never thought performing would be as fun as it is."
"Yeah well it won't ever be if we get discovered I mean some celebrities have killed themselves from it!"
"Then we'll make sure we're a hidden band if we ever get a record deal." She said standing to leave. "I'll catch you guys later."
"K! Bye Kire!"
She longed for the day she was called Misao again, but she knew it couldn't happen; otherwise he'd find her.
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He knew it had been her, he'd looked all over Japan but had never thought to look for her on the streets of Tokyo. However, she had changed a great, great deal, rat-tails, black boots, with a long black dress, and white face make-up with a beautiful touch of red lipstick and red and black eye shadow. Her whole appearance screamed sadistic dominatrix prostitute at him and he had ended up very tempted to rape her right where she stood.
He had to play his cards right, no rushing, he had to let her think that she was finally safe when in reality she was far from it. She went by the name Kire now; he had found it very amusing as well considering the name meant cut, and cuts were what he had been very good at giving her.
4444
"Use tragedy like a vehicle and ride it till it stops hurting."
More easily said then done.
She sat and she wrote, she wrote of all the pain, of all the anger, of all the fear, and of all the regret she had ever felt. No more cover songs, no, her band was going to sing their own creations from now on.
She wrote of Aoshi, her demon, she never said his name in the lyrics obviously and she made it so that it seemed more fiction then a true story. She wondered what the others would think of her, she wondered if the band would ever get signed, highly doubtful and they would probably decline it all.
With each day that crept past she was beginning to feel more and more safe, but was that a good thing?
Notes: Ahh I'm sorry guys I was going to make this longer but I'm incredibly lazy. But hey at least I finally put something up