By the way: OoO is simply a change in scene/time.
Italics – Memories
/Italics/ - Dreams
Bittersweet Sword: Chapter 5- Alfeegi's Angst
I walked slowly into the trees, looking around for any sign of the Lord. He'd probably ran far... I sighed and sat down on a tree stump. The glade was still visible from here, the freshly upturned earth covering the body of their most troubled tribe member. It'd been such a horrible death, I thought, shuddering from the memories. I wished I'd gone along with Ruwalk to help Kaistern back to his room. I wanted his comfort so badly...there were too many things swirling around my head, it was driving me insane. I straightened, trying to get the priorities straight in my head. I needed to get Lykouleon first. I stood up again, continuing my search through the thick bushes.
How far had he run? My heart went out to the tortured Lord. It must have been hard bearing with Rath's death. Ruwalk had often told me about how guilty Lykouleon felt about Rath. I'd noticed it as well, but Ruwalk was so much closer to the Lord than I was. I was just the loud, annoying, screaming white secretary. I sighed again. Well, now I'd finally have a chance to comfort Lykouleon, since Ruwalk was busy with Kaistern. Finally prove that I did care about everyone. I knew what they all thought about me, and I knew they avoided me. I didn't mean to get so riled up over everything. I just lost my temper easily. I wanted everything to run smoothly, everything to be prefect and in order. The more prepared we were, the least anything could turn into a catastrophe if anything happened. I was just trying to live up to the expectations presented to me. I'd led a pretty low life before, and I intended to rise above my past by being the best there could be. I wasn't going to live up to snide remarks about how a low life like me could become a good dragon officer. I was going to show them that I was worthy of the Dragon tribe. It was a desire that had burned inside me for so long, and so strongly. I had to prove to myself that they hadn't made a mistake when they chose me to be the white dragon officer. That's why I yelled at everyone when they didn't follow my explicit orders, when they played around instead of doing the work I needed so urgently to have. I was only doing this for the good of the kingdom, the people, the Lord, and for myself.
Although lately, my life had taken a more pleasant turn. Before I'd been alone, having to contend to my own insecurities and fears by myself. Even after all these years, I still felt out of place in the castle. Maybe because they were always trying to avoid me and never tried to just do what I asked them to. I had always been alone, trying to understand why they didn't realize that I did care about them, that I did have feelings, and that I as only trying to help out the castle. Until lately. For a while, I'd been increasingly aware of my rising feelings for the Yellow Officer... but always been afraid to show it. He was so different. He was the one who hated it the most when I hounded on him, but I didn't know how else to act! I smiled softly, remembering how much it'd hurt at night to realize that I'd never have a chance with him because he probably hated me and thought I was annoying. I'd even cried. The awareness of being alone had never been stronger than then.
But then, by a miraculous chance, it changed.
It was late at night, and I was doing some papers that needed to get done soon. I remembered how tired I'd felt, my head drooping on the table as I fought to keep my eyes open and my hand to move. The next thing I knew, I was roused as someone picked me up gently and began carrying me out of the room. Opening my eyes, I saw it was Ruwalk. '
Out late again?' he smiled slightly and I felt the color rising and spreading across my face. I was being carried by the object of my most treasured fantasies, 'It's late. I think you should sleep now. I don't now how you keep all this work up.'
'Well what are you doing here?'
'Bathroom. Then I saw the light on in here so I came to check it out, and here you were, sleeping like a baby.' I looked up at him, gazing into his eyes almost fearfully. Ruwalk's face was so close. Close enough to kiss. I turned my gaze away, looking at the floor, my eyes closing slowly again. In fact, they did close, so I never saw the intent gaze Ruwalk gave me, I never saw his face lower slowly, then hesitate. By the time I opened my eyes again, his eyes were focused on the dark hallways around us.
'You never liked me much, did you?' I gaped at the yellow officer. He smiled at me, but I could sense a tinge of pain in his voice. I couldn't believe it. Had I heard sadness, regret and maybe... longing in his voice?
'That's not true! Not true at all...' I hesitated, but the look in his eyes suddenly encouraged me, as did the warmth of his arms under me, and the strength of his stride, '... I... for a long time... I love you.' I said in a rush, shutting my eyes closed tightly. Ruwalk's step faltered and I opened one eye fearfully. I felt like a weight had been released. I had finally told him how I felt. But now I had to deal with rejection. His next sentence surprised me as well.
'But you're always yelling at me... And I never do your work...' he stared at me incredulous and I turned my face away.
'I didn't know how else to act. And... I was scared of rejection... I'm sorry...' I whispered, my body beginning to tremble as I fought to hold in my tears. Ruwalk opened the door to my room and walked in, setting me down gently into the covers.
'I always thought you hated me... But now...' Ruwalk's face dissolved into a grin, 'Alfeegi,' I looked at him, confused as to why he was grinning, 'Open your mouth,' he instructed and I was too tired to disobey. I opened my mouth a bit, and he suddenly dived in, covering my mouth with his and sliding his tongue in. I stared in shock at his face, right in front of mine and tried to mumble something. He let go of my mouth and sat back, smiling widely. 'I was afraid of rejection too... cause I love you too,' he smiled gently and I felt the tears finally slide down my face, 'Hey what's wrong? I didn't mean to hurt you!' he said, alarmed. I shook my head.
'I'm happy. I love you,' I hugged him tightly and let myself be taken into his grasp. He laughed, and I smiled drowsily up at him. He stroked me gently until I fell asleep in his arms.
Despite all the horror and despair that had pulled at my soul these past two days, that sweet memory always gave me comfort. From Ruwalk, I received comfort and strength, and he gave me confidence and hope. I swatted a branch away from my face and rounded around a tree. I still hadn't found Lykouleon, and I was beginning to get worried. I had no idea the palace forests were so deep and expansive."Lykouleon!" I called out. A rustling of leaves answered my call and I headed over to the sound, hopeful. But the scene I saw wasn't as optimistic as I wished. The lord was on the ground, face down, breathing hard.
"You highness! What's wrong?" I rushed over to him, rolling him over gingerly. He groaned, his face pale beneath the tear-streaked face. I brushed the dirt off his face.
"Alfeegi?" he mumbled.
"My Lord, are you alright?"
He sighed, then gestured towards his leg, "Twisted. I can't get up..." he paused and mumbled, more to himself, "Was this the same helplessness that he felt...?"
My breath caught at his words as I rolled down his boot, finding an already swelling ankle. I helped him up, careful to keep most of his weight on me. He smiled grimly at me.
"Thanks... It was rather careless of me to go wandering in the woods. I was afraid..."
I nodded, "That no one would find you and you'd be stuck here, unable to go back?"
He looked down, "Sorry."
I almost winced, feeling that he was expecting a tirade from me. I was capable of being kind... I gripped his hand in mine, arm slung over my shoulder, "We all need a little alone time... and sometimes we can't take things anymore."
"Alfeegi... he hated me," Lykouleon still would not look up, and I almost felt his weight increasing with the burden of guilt he carried.
"I don't think he like any of us really. And... you gave him life. Even if he took it away and found it unsatisfying in the end, you gave him a life he would have treasured had he not known about his demon past... You can't blame yourself for what wasn't your fault. I think he remembers very fondly his childhood years," I tried to smile and reassure him, but inside I felt the same guilt and sadness. Impulsively, I set him down and gripped him tightly as I began to cry. I felt him wrap his arms around me and felt his body begin to sob spasmodically.
For a moment, we were connected, out grief almost equal, understanding of each other, and thus able to give comfort to each other, and ourselves. Maybe it was because he finally felt someone shared similar pain, but soon his tears stopped and he regained control of himself.
"Thank you Alfeegi. I really needed that," he said softly and I let go, getting up again and easing him back onto my shoulder, immensely relieved. For a moment I felt guilty, but I realized that that couldn't be called cheating. It had just been two close friends sharing grief. Actually, I felt glad. It had always been Ruwalk who comforted Lykouleon, and I'd always felt slightly out of place. Now I finally was able to help him.
"How did you get so lost in here? I'm not even sure I know the way..." I scanned the trees desperately, hoping to find a break somewhere. It had been about half an hour of wandering through the woods, and I was sagging under Lykouleon's weight. Then I heard a voice.
"Lykouleon! Alfeegi! Can you hear me?"
"Ruwalk! We're over here!" I called back, sinking to the ground, fatigued. Lykouleon kept his eyes on the ground, looking up briefly at my eyes to give me an apologetic look. I called again to Ruwalk, and soon we heard his trampling footsteps as he broke through the brush, looking relieved.
"Wow, thank goodness, we were getting really worried. Lykouleon, are you alright?"
"His highness twisted his ankle. Help me carry him, Ruwalk," I said, feeling vainly hurt that he'd asked about Lykouleon first. I shook it off though, because I knew that it was a stupid thing to think.
"I'll carry him, you look beat, Feegi," he kissed my cheek quickly, then hoisted Lykouleon onto his back. I blushed slightly, thinking that he'd seen, but Lykouleon was still staring vaguely at the ground.
"My Lord, please..." I pleaded, walking besides Ruwalk. He looked up, and said, without the slightest smile.
"I'm fine. Much better than before at least," he then tried to force himself to smile and failed, "I'm just not in a smiling mood, but thanks Alfeegi."
I smiled and Ruwalk gave me side-glance. We soon came upon the cleared grounds of the dragon castle, and were met immediately by a tearful Raseleane.
"Lykouleon!" she cried, running up to him. He smiled for her though, though I could see there was not much joy in it. What to expect? I didn't really feel like smiling either. One smiled for reassurance to others in situations like these. Which was exactly what he was doing at the moment.
Finally getting to his room, Cernozura was already prepared with a first aid kit. Ruwalk set him down on a chair and let him sink down. Raseleane took the bandages and gently swathed his leg in cool, wet bandages, then rewrapped those with dry ones.
"I'm alright now. Thanks Alfeegi and Ruwalk," the Lord said, and I, getting the picture, bowed and pulled Ruwalk out of the room. We walked in silence, not having anything to talk about.
"How's Kaistern?" I asked as we passed by his room.
"The same..." Ruwalk said dejectedly. Then he frowned, "Cesia gave Kaistern a death glare as she walked by..."
"Didn't... Rath and her, weren't they together at some point?" Ruwalk nodded, "And then I think he left her."
"For who?"
I glared at Ruwalk for his stupidity, "Putting two and two together you get..."
"Oh. Kaistern. I had no idea! You're serious?"
"Why would I joke at a time like this?" I said tiredly. He wrapped an arm around my waist, turning my path from the office to my room. I looked at him but didn't resist, "I have papers to finish. We can't live in mourning forever," it was only a half-hearted plea to the dark.
"No, but we can for a couple days. It won't be easy. Not with Rune and Kaistern and Lykouleon, and you."
I looked at him, feeling like he was accusing me, "Me? I'm sorry..."
"I think you're taking it well, but you got hurt too," he said softly, opening my door and leading me inside. As we neared my bed and he laid me on the soft covers, he leaned over me.
"No... I don't want to do anything tonight Ruwalk..." I mumbled. A disappointed look came over his eyes.
"Well, you need sleep, so I'll let you sleep now," he said, getting up and beginning to leave the room.
"Wait!" I pulled on his sleeve as he left, and he turned to look at me, "But I still want you here..." I whispered. He smiled tenderly and sat next to me, stroking my hair and face as he murmured simple, sweet things. If something could ever be said about Ruwalk, it was that he was a good comforter as well as lover.
OOO
The next morning, I woke up early. Opening my eyes to the still pale sun, I sat up, almost knocking something heavy off my chest. Ruwalk grumbled something through half open eyes and settled back next to me. I yawned, hiding back the smile that had played upon my lips seconds ago. Well, at least tonight had been a better night than the one before. I did faintly remember though, a nightmare, and waking up various times during the night, but the fact that it was barely remembered told me that it wasn't as bad. I did hope, however, that my thrashing about hadn't woken up Ruwalk too much during the night. I bent down, caressing his cheek and brushing his lips affectionately with mine. Then, fully dressed, I walked out of the room, heading to my office to finish those ever-urgent papers. Gathering the papers in my hand, I placed them on my desk and sat down, taking the quill pen and beginning to write and fill out forms.
Hours later, the sun shining fully on my desk through the open window, I sighed, frustrated, looking through my desk for a certain old form I needed to fill out these newer ones. It was probably in the bookcases.
I stood up, beginning my search for the missing paper. Sifting through piles of books and old forms, I searched for at least fifteen minutes. I bent down, thinking maybe the stupid form fell under the bookcase. Reaching under, I felt something... papers, something hard and then, something bit me. Hard. I withdrew my hand, yelping. A spider scuttled out quickly. I cursed. Stupid yellow-bellied spiders. The two small dots on my hand were already red and slightly swollen. Bringing up my hand to my mouth, I sucked at the two small bites, then spit out my now bitter tasting saliva. Hopefully that would help, I sighed. The spiders were poisonous, but the poison wasn't lethal. All it did at most was knock you out for a day or so. But I had things to do today. Oh well, I would just have to deal with it. I reached under again, pulling out the papers... and a handmade black chess piece. I sat back, tears filling my eyes. Glancing at the papers, I saw one, a brightly colored portrait. A drawing of me and a little red-haired boy, painstakingly colored with crayon, though it was clear the artist was quite young. I fingered the drawing and the chess piece, lifting my eyes to the ceiling as tears ran down. Would I never stop crying?
I remembered the incident connected to these two items very well. Leave it to fate to have found these things a couple days after Rath's death. So cruelly unbearable. My eyes blurred as a sudden pound from my head proclaimed the beginnings of the poison's effect. I closed my eyes, suddenly not able to bear the strong sunlight. My head pounded harder, so I let myself fall asleep, where I would be safe from everything except my memories.
/I walked down the dragon castle, feeling down. The other dragon officers were doing various recreational stuff, but I hadn't joined them, feeling out of place. Lykouleon and Ruwalk were trying to sneak some food from the kitchens, and Kaistern was trying his best to defeat Tetheus in a sword sparring battle. There was no room for me anywhere. I sighed, dragging my hand along the banister as I walked the long halls. In any case, I was bored. It was raining lightly outside, but despite the bleakness of the outside surroundings, I felt welcomed by nature. As if my own mood was being reflected in the heavens. Embracing the fresh mist and the soft, light pelting of the small drops of rain, I coursed through the gardens, feeling my clothes soak gradually. I wandered here and there, trying to distract myself from my pity and troubles."Isn't the rain fun?" I whirled around, "Usually they won't let me out in the rain for long cause they say I'll get a cold, but everyone's busy today."
I smiled at the matter-of-factly tone of the young fire night. It'd always puzzled me a bit why he'd been made a knight. I'd thought that just becoming a dragon would have kept his demon at bay, but the Lord had insisted on christening him a knight as well. Though the young boy knew nothing of this. He thought that the reason he was a dragon knight was because he was a master youkai killer, which was true as well. He knew nothing about his terrible past. It was better that way. A boy as young as this... it would destroy his innocent world and tear his mind apart. Knowing all the deeds he'd done... I shuddered slightly. "You getting a cold?" he smirked, scoffing at my weakness. I shook my head.
"You wanna play in the rain?" he continued, gazing thoughtfully at the sky, then, as if noticing my stare, he snapped back and bounded closer, "So, do you?"
I'd always held some degree of admiration for this red-haired youth. He was pretty, and cute, there was no doubt about it. His innocent stares could melt an icicle. He had proved himself very clever, with what his tricks and jokes so perfectly executed and his knowledge. He loved to read, and had learned at an early age. In fact, I had been a large part of his education. That didn't mean I was any closer to him than anyone else, it just meant I got to observe him more. I sometimes wondered if I had some kind of infatuation for this little kid, the way I was so focused on him when I had the chance, as he pored over books that I had assigned him to read as part of his schooling. But then I brushed it off. I had no feelings for this little kid besides awe, sympathy and love as a little brother. Everyone loved him. His face was wide and cheerful. It was impossible not to feel something for the optimistic youth. But sometimes his eyes would wander, and stare at nothing, and a strange look would come over his eyes, just like it had a couple seconds ago, and I would wonder if his demon side ever reached out, unbeknownst to him. What was it like, harboring that darkness inside? Even if it was sealed away, the way Lykouleon often gazed at him while the boy fought demons outside the dragon palace led me to believe he feared that his demons side would break loose, be released. In other words, his seal wasn't impregnable. Now the gorgeously impatient boy was getting frustrated with me.
"Well, are you going to play with me or not?" he asked, putting his small pale hands on his hips, his face turning into a pout. I smiled, not being able to resist him.
"Okay. I'm already wet I guess."
His face broke into a huge grin and he took my hand, leading me into the deeper sections of the garden.
"No one will see me here, so they won't call me back. But I like them all anyway," he jumped around, delighting himself childishly by slapping the wet ground and jumping in puddles. He took my hands again and tried to spin me, but my body being three times the size of his, all he managed was to fall on the wet grass.
"Sit down!" he called, laughing. I laughed as well, and began to sit down, but before I did, he pulled my arm out from under me, and I fell onto the slick grass. He giggled.
"That was uncalled for!" I faked a growl, and giggling still, Rath squealed and ran, hiding behind a bench.
"Avast (A/N: Or whatever pirates say, you know what I'm trying to say...) , you evil demon, cause I, Rath Illuser will vanquish thee!" I laughed at his attempt to sound like the pirates in the various books he'd read. He pouted, "I can too vanquish you!" he said, drawing out his sword.
"Hey!" I held my hands up, yelping.
"Don't worry, you're not really a demon," he smiled, "But I can still kick your butt." To prove his point, he tackled, me throwing me hard against the wet ground. I held him off, laughing freely and we tussled around. But the little knight couldn't stand against me, thought he did put up a very good fight. A couple minutes later, we lay next to each other, panting slightly. The rain had gotten harder, and the ground had sloshed to mud, covering us in it. Rath, smiling, gazed up at the dark sky. His smile faded a bit.
"Alfeegi, are you happy now?" he asked quietly. I frowned slightly.
"What are you talking about?" I asked, pretending not to know. He looked at me.
"C'mon. I knew you were really down, you looked sad."
"Maybe I just felt a little left out," I shrugged. He nodded, turning his gaze back up at the gray heavens. I sighed heavily, feeling the wet grass slick on my back.
"But why would a boy as young as you concern yourself over me? It's not like you like me, considering how much I nag you to do your work," I said sadly. He leaned towards me his bright eyes looking inside me.
"I like you. You and Kaistern and Ruwalk. You're my favorites. I like the Queen and Lord too, and Tetheus can be really cool too, but..." he leaned closer, and I could feel his breath on my face. I could have kissed him, but I reprimanded myself. He was a little kid. That would be like, sexual harassment! Before I could back out to remove myself from temptation, he leaned in quickly, brushing his lips against mine in a soft, quick kiss. I gasped, drawing back completely while savoring the moment in my shocked mind. He leaned back as well, a playful smirk on his face, his eyes teasing me. Was he just playing with my feelings?
"What... what were you thinking?" I gasped. He smirked darkly.
"My way of showing how special you are to me. But don't worry; I did that to Kaistern and Ruwalk as well. You fall so easily. You consider me such a kid..." he laughed, "But you really have no idea."
I shuddered. What was he talking about? This was a completely darker side to his personality. In any case... he was toying with my feelings. And had done so with Kaistern and Ruwalk as well. I was very confused. The gray world around me seemed to fit the scenario so well. His dark side, emerging in the shade of the sun, as dreary darkness that had once seemed peaceful, seemed to have chosen this exact moment for that reason.
"You really aren't innocent as you seem."
He laughed, the rain falling around his face, forming some sort of ghostly halo around his head. How ironic. He tilted closer, touching my cheek with his pale hand.
"No, I just like having some fun every once in a while, and seeing you squirm under my gaze is just that," I highly doubted it was just that. I was sure it also had something to do, subconsciously, with his demon side. He grinned, "I can't wait till I have a girl to do that with though."
I laughed, but inside I felt slightly hurt. He had used me. No doubt this was the way the other two officers had felt. But it was shocking. He really wasn't as innocent as simple minded as we thought. No, this boy had such a vast mind. Able to comprehend and think up things that could be hurtful as well as amazing, he used it to the full. But he kept it hidden so well!
"Well, don't try that again," now, I bent forward quickly, planting my own lips on his. I wasn't sure what I was doing. I didn't know whether it had been out of desire, or revenge. He blinked, then drew back, glaring at me slightly.
"I don't want anymore. I got the response I wanted already," he scowled. I chuckled.
"Yes, but I didn't get the one I wanted. Maybe that'll teach you not to toy with me, or anyone else like that again."
He bent his head down, "I really do like all of you. And I don't want you sad. Sorry," he apologized. I wasn't sure whether this was another trick or not, but I accepted it. He fell back onto the ground then.
"The mist is so pretty, isn't it?" he asked. I raised my eyebrows. He just went from an evil conspirator con artist to a sweet little ingenuous youth. As if his former presence had been eradicated.
"Yeah, it is," I said finally. Suddenly, the wet garden around me didn't seem so creepy and dreary and regained its peaceful qualities.
"It swirls... free to do as it wishes... I wish I could be mist."
I looked at him, the sighed, falling back too to stare at the mist. Yes, it was fog. Swirling, mixing, disappearing an appearing as it wished. Gorgeous, see through yet visible, flowing yet solid somehow.
"It invites itself in... Fits in wherever it pleases," I mumbled. I suddenly realized I was cold, and looking at Rath, I saw that his lips were a pale blue. How long had we been out here?
"Let's go in," I said, a moment before sneezing, "This is why they don't want us out here in the rain. You get sick."
He pouted but followed me out of the garden maze anyway. Dripping, since we'd been out in the rain for a long time, and now the rain was at full force, a strong storm with wind, we made our way up the palace courtyard steps.
"Alfeegi! Rath!" I heard someone's voice calling, and I picked up Rath in my arms, running inside the cozy warmth of the dark castle. Ruwalk and Lykouleon were standing in front of us, a mildly reproving and astonished look aimed at us. Their arms were loaded with various foods and pastries.
"What were you two doing out there?" Ruwalk asked.
"We were having some fun in the rain," I answered, "I was bored, and the rain looked inviting."
"Yeah, we played catch, and I got to pretend he was a demon!" Rath said tiredly, snuggling himself closer in my arms. I was beginning to feel heavy too.
"Well, it sounds like you had fun. Anyway, you guys are wet-"
"Don't worry, my Lord. I'll take care of Rath and make sure he changes into some dry clothes," I said quickly.
"Oh, good. Wait, do you want some food?" Ruwalk held out some of his goods, obtained by no less than legal ways.
"Sure," I said, and Rath held his hands out, taking the goods. I turned swiftly, heading for Rath's room first. As I got to the door, he wriggled in my arms until I let him off.
"I don't want you in my room. I'll change and then come back out,'" he said, and the door slammed in front of me, leaving me shivering in the hall. I leaned against the wall, wrapping my arms around myself to hold in the warmth. I sneezed. Darn it, now was not the time to get sick, I had work to do...
"Okay, I'm ready," Rath came out of his room, dressed in dry clothes, blanket draped around him.
"Ready? For what?"
"I wanna do something else now!" I groaned. Jeez, was he unbeatable? But I smiled anyway.
"Alright. But now you have to wait for me to get out of these muddy wet clothes," I said, walking to my room. Rath followed loyally.
Once inside my room, I listened to sounds of Rath eating some of the food outside my door. As I threw my sodden clothes off me and onto the balcony, where the rain would wash them, and eventually they'd dry once the sun came out, I thought about the kiss he'd given me. It hurt to know that it'd meant nothing. But then, why had he done it? Just to tease me? Well, mine had been partly sincere. The other part had been revengeful. I sighed. To think that I was actually attracted to that little red-haired youkai. My infatuation with him had faded into mere fascination, and I now was able to keep myself under much tighter control. I searched for clean, comfortable clothes and out them on, feeling their dryness cloak me as if they were burning hot. I felt much better. Searching in the dim light of the torches in my room, I finally found what I was looking for. My chess set. Putting it under my arm carefully, I opened the door to find Rath tracing patterns on the dust of the walls. He was so childishly simple sometimes it was amazing. Naïve purity was so... fascinating. Probably because we, as grownups, had already lost it long ago.
"How about we go in the library and play some chess?' I suggested, taking a bread and roll from his hands.
"Okay! Tetheus was teaching me how to play, so I can play good!" he said enthusiastically. I smiled sheepishly.
"Alright, but you're playing against an expert here," I warned him, opening the door to the library. Finding a nice table and drawing up two chairs, I set the pieces up.
"You can be black. I wanna go first," he said. I shrugged.
"Okay," I mumbled, taking another bite from the blueberry muffin I had in my hands. He moved his pawn and the game began.
OoO
"No, see, if you move here then you are putting both of these pieces in danger, so it's a much better move than just putting my rook in danger."
"Oh... okay! Now you're in danger."
"Yes, but I can get out of it by moving my bishop here. See, if you're stupid enough to attack any of these pieces, you leave your queen open for me to take. So if you value you queen, which you should since it's your most powerful piece, then you won't attack with that knight."
"Darn it! You're sneaky."
"I told you I was an expert," I smiled. He scowled, his face taut in concentration. We had been playing for a good hour, and I learned that he was a good player. Mostly because he caught concepts such as a forked attack so quickly and then applied them. The rain was still going strong, and every once in a while a lightning flash would illuminate the room and then be followed by the drumming explosion of the thunder. The game dragged on a couple more minutes, which seemed to take longer because I was getting tired.
"Checkmate," I yawned.
"Eep! No! Aw man..." he whined a bit and sighing, he got up from his seat and sat in my lap. Looking up at me, he smiled.
"That was fun!" he fingered one of the chess pieces and continued, "Are these hand made?"
I nodded, "Yeah. This chess set was made by my father. The board is wood, and the pieces are a type of clay. It's really special."
"Cool!"
"Alfeegi?" I whirled as I heard my name called. It sounded like the Lord.
"Yes, your highness?" I lifted Rath off my lap and stepped out into the hallway. The Lord's raised his hand when he caught sight of me.
"Oh, there you are. I needed your help on something."
"Yes. May I take a second, my Lord?"
"Oh, sure," Lykouleon smiled. I walked back into the library.
"Hey, Rath, will you do me a favor," I said, kneeling in front of Rath. He nodded, "Will you pick up my chess set and bring it to my room? You can set it on the bed."
"Sure!"
"Thanks, I have to help his Highness."
"Bye 'Feegi. Thanks!"
Walking besides the Lord, he grinned at me, "Seems like you had fun today with him?"
"Yes," I replied gratefully. And now that I thought about it, it was the first time in very long that I had felt at home and really liked. It was... well, not a particularly cheerful thought. It wasn't that the dragon tribe was in any way selfish, or unloving, but I just couldn't find room for myself anywhere. Turning to him, I smiled, "So what did you need help with, my Lord?"
OOO
Later that night, I walked to my room, my footsteps sounding hollow and slow. I was tired, and had somehow managed to get a papercut that had the misfortune of opening every time I closed my fingers. Opening the room to my door, I was surprised to find Rath asleep on my bed, my chess set next to him. I shook him slightly, and he sat up, yawning and rubbing his eyes."
"Rath? What are you doing here? It' s late, you should be sleeping."
"Alfeegi..." he looked up tearfully at me, "I'm really sorry. Don't get mad at me!"
"Why?"
He sobbed slightly, "I lost one of your pieces. There was a really loud thunder, and I jumped, and the pieces fell, and I couldn't find them all!"
I bit my lip and sighed, "I'm sad, but I'm not mad at you. It's okay," I said, taking him into my arms and rocking him, "Now, let's put you in bed."
He nodded, not looking into my eyes. I carried him to his room, watching him fall asleep in my arms. Opening the door to his room and setting him in his bed, I suddenly felt exhausted. Instead of leaving, I fell asleep next to him, holding the little sweet mannered boy in my arms.
OOO
"Happy Birthday Alfeegi!" I looked up to see Rath in front of me, smiling gleefully. "Thanks," I smiled widely. I wondered if he'd remembered by himself, or if he'd been reminded that today was my birthday by another officer. In any case, I didn't care. I was happy. There was going to be a small party at the end of the day, and I was glad. I felt a lot more at home now in the castle, and a lot had had to do with Rath.
"Here. I got you a gift!" he held out his hands, and I saw that he held a folded piece of paper for a birthday card, and a small present, wrapped in papier-mâché.
"Did you make all of this by yourself?" I asked.
"Yeah! All of it! Even the present. And I wrapped it myself."
"You did well," I opened the card, a drawing bidding me a happy birthday with a drawing of him in me.
"Now open the present!" he said excitedly. I pulled off the wrapping paper and gasped.
"It's for the one I lost," he mumbled. I held a chess piece, the knight he'd lost. Black, and very well done, "I did it all by myself too. Do you like it?"
"I love it," I said, squeezing the little boy hard.
"I'm glad!" he grinned. /
I remembered well how he acted before. Before the alchemist Kharl had revealed his horrendous past, thus destroying Rath's childlike mind. Now, he withdrew, glared at us and hardly spoke to us. The only one he talked to half openly was Kaistern, and he'd once revealed to me that it was because of a promise, nothing more. And now he was gone. The little child with the clear eyes... the sweet voice, the inquisitive nature and keen sense of humor and cleverness. The open, cheerful boy had turned into a half crazy cold young man. One who'd lost all happiness. And now he was gone forever.
"Alfeegi! What's wrong? Are you hurt?" I drifted from those memories into Ruwalk's voice and realized that I had been asleep. And that I was crying again. I opened my eyes to Ruwalk's alarmed face, and he suddenly swept me into his arms pressing me close.
"I'm fine... Ruwalk look," he let go at my drowsy voice and I held up the drawing and chess knight.
"Oh... Is that what you were crying about?" he asked sympathetically. I nodded and buried myself in his arms.
"He's gone, Ruwalk. I remembered everything..." I sobbed slightly.
"Look, c'mon baby, let's get something to eat," he said, trying to distract me. I nodded, glad for it and tried to stand up.
"Need a little help?" he smiled, hoisting me up. But as soon as he let go, I tipped sideways, falling into him.
"I forgot, I got bit by a yellow-belly," I mumbled to him. He sighed and stroked my face.
"You feeling sort of okay though?" I nodded against his shoulder and closed my eyes.
"What time is it?"
He shifted me around to get a glance at his watch, "About three o'clock."
Now it was my turn to sigh. He gathered me in his arms and took me to the dining room, even though I didn't eat much. I had managed to sleep through the morning and most of the afternoon, and I had work to do. Once again in Ruwalk's arms, I felt him kiss my forehead lightly, and then I drifted off to sleep again as he set me in his bed.