Bittersweet Sword Chapter 9: Tetheus' Recollections, a dragon knights fanfic

This chapter I'd like to dedicate to my faithful and very flattering reviewer- Aquajogger! Thank you so much for the past reviews; it's so flattering, but I think you praise me too much, it's not that good :blush: Thanks a lot, I'm glad you liked the Delte thing. And thanks for reviewing ALL of my dragon knights fics! Glad you liked the Gil fic as well.

Bittersweet Sword: Chapter 9-Tetheus' Recollections

I patrolled about the palace grounds, keeping a stern eye on the dragon fighters and guards as they did their daily training. But inside, I was spacing off. My mind wasn't anywhere near how many guards were guarding the castle right now, how many were injured, what would happen if a youkai attack occurred in the next weeks, how to increase the safety of all the loved ones in the castle. For a couple days now it hadn't been on that at all. For I had lost one that I held close.

Contrary to what most thought of me, I wasn't cold hearted. I was simply... expressionless. My face just didn't shape to any expressions. Never had, so I'd never really tried. Hence the stony face that everyone had always commented upon. And deathly quiet. I was the silent type, and I only talked when necessary. Or when I wanted to. Unlike Alfeegi... I let a small smirk play onto my lips. Anything to help me get my mind off him. Not again... why again? Wasn't it enough that I had lost all my family? And now I'd lost the person I'd come to regard of as a son...

First my parents, then my siblings, now... my son.

"Hey, Sarea, Torea, let's go," I stood up, glaring at my younger siblings.
"Already?" Sarea flashed her sweet smile, begging me to let them stay longer. She tugged at a long blonde bang, a habit she'd grown into when her hands were unoccupied. And when she was thinking hard. Right now, it was most likely a way to get me tot let them stay longer.
"Please? Tethy..." Torea pouted as well, plopping down on the ground, refusing to stand up.
"You two are beings brats today. We hafta go, mom and dad told us to get back before sunset. It takes ten minutes to walk home, and by that time the sun'll be setting. We gotta go now or else we'll get in trouble."
I ruffle Torea's short brown hair. They weren't identical twins, in looks at least. But sometimes they could act so alike, I wondered if they could read each other's mind. Whoops, I forgot, they could. That was their youkai power. Telepathy. At least with each other. Cause our mom was a telepathic youkai. I didn't really didn't have much of a special power. I had extra strength, coming from my father. He was a youkai as well, and we lived inside the forest. It was our territory.
A little girl ran up to us, "Aw, you guys, are you leaving already?" I nodded and let the twins bid goodbye to her. I waved and we kept on walking.
"Sarea wants to know why the humans don't have powers," Torea said. Sarea glared at Torea and he eeped. Telepathic threat. Happened all the time.
"Cause they're humans, and they're I don't know, weak. They simply don't have powers."
"But, then how do they defend themselves and stuff?"
"With machines and weapons."
"...But weapons break."
I shrugged, "Humans are strange. But remember, don't ever ask something like this to a human," I warned them again.
"We know..."
I sighed. The only reason we could play around in the nearby town was the we looked human enough to be accepted as humans. I hated humans though. They were so unjust. I'd heard them talking on more than one occasion about youkai. How cruel they were, how murderous they were. But, like humans, all demons were different. There were selfish ones, there were kind ones, there were cruel ones, there were sadistic ones. Lord Nadil employed the use of the strong youkai, but some of them weren't selfish, some were smart and kind, and others were strong. The one who weren't in Nadil's army lived around it, serving it. We served Nadil's army. That was all I knew, but I'd never seen the army, or gone to it. I just knew that were Nadil to ask me something, I was supposed to listen. Mother didn't like that at all and told us it was wrong and Nadil was actually a bad youkai. I shrugged to myself, it was none of my business.
One time though, I heard the humans talking about how it was possible for the more human-like (they compared us to them!) youkai could raise children. But it was true. I couldn't understand what was so odd about it. They thought that youkai were all so evil they couldn't have and love children. Youkai had hearts. Just some less than others. All creatures had offspring. The less developed demons simply gave birth or laid eggs, the watched over the young youkai until it was time for them to leave. The more advanced ones, 'human-like', took care of their children just like humans did. They gave them food, shelter and protection. Sure, they weren't as loving as humans, or did all those stupid silly things humans did, giving them 'toys' and pampering them and making them weak, because that wasn't the way it was. We didn't mid of course, because we were demons. All we needed to survive was what our parents gave us. And we knew they cared for us, that was enough.
Mother gave us food and comfort and took care of us when we were sick. Father protected our territory from other youkai and trained us. We were happy. Humans simply made everything so complicated, and for what? Half of what they did was useless.
I stopped. Something... didn't feel right. There was a strange smell in the air. I let go of the twins' hands and ushered them behind some trees.
"What?" Torea glared at me as I stepped on his foot in the rush. I ignored him and shushed them.
The scent! Human scent... and three of us broke into a run, not caring if we were in danger as well now.
Cold sweat broke over me, and as we reached the house we froze. It was instinct. Death. There was someone dead. We stepped warily over. Our parents... or the humans?
There were three of them. Five humans, standing in a ring around our parents. Our dead parents. Many of them bore injuries and were leaning on others, two others laid on the ground, dead. The leader, sword dripping blood slowly, caught sight of us and yelled.
We turned and ran, as fast and far as we could. Now we had no homes and were still very young in youkai terms. I knew that now we had to survive on our own, someplace far away from here.
OoO
It was a couple years later. We were happily living in the outskirts of a small calm town where we'd found the occupants to be civil and understanding. And unquestioning. They believed our story. We were orphaned and now were trying to make a living someplace far away. They believed our story because we didn't tell them we were youkai.
"Hurry up," I told Torea as he brought the pail of water over from the creek.
"Easy to say, all you have is firewood."
"Which is lighter, but harder to carry," and I'd grown into the responsible older sibling. I hadn't changed that much except I was sterner and more responsible. More sensible and less playful. Sarea and Torea understood, something I'd been afraid that they wouldn't.
We walked into the cabin to find Sarea already had gathered the herbs and meat for dinner and dropped our loads in their respective places.
Dinner was eaten relatively quiet, only the twin's general rambling about their day in the town and such. I was quiet, as usual, getting up as I finished my meal and washing the plate carefully. Then I sat down on the couch and began fiddling with a small wooden stick I'd been carving out the past couple days.
The knife I held slipped on the smooth surface and I stared at the sudden appearance of red droplets. I sighed and stood to begin bandaging the cut. Mother would have kissed it and put some sweet smelling lotion on it and then bandaged it.
"Hey Sarea..."
"Yeah?" she looked up from the dolls I'd made for her when she'd said she was lonely during the day when Torea and I went out to work or hunt.
"Will you sing the song?"
"Which one?"
"The one mother sang when we were sick or hurt," she knew which one. Requests like these were common, especially from me. Sarea did have a lovely voice, and her blond curls over her tanned face and rosy cheeks gave her a doll-like appearance. A singing doll. I let a few tears fall from my face, I was only a kid after all, I had the right to cry once in a while. Still, I turned my face away as I saw Torea look over. If they saw me crying, they would cry and feel lonely and it'd only show I was weak and couldn't take care of them. I stopped crying abruptly and inconspicuously dried my face before going back to carve my wooden object. I was going to make a boat for Torea.
Hours later, I stretched and looked to find the twins were getting tired, and I was too.
"Time for bed, now," I stood and took their arms, dragging their giggling forms across the floor to the bed. I picked them up one at a time and threw them on, as I always did, and then hid under the covers, giggling and crawling around. I jumped on them, lifting the covers and we played likewise for a couple more minutes until all three of us were breathless, my arms around my little brother and sister, looking up at the dark ceiling.
"Good night Tetheus, Sarea."
"Good night Torea, good night Tethy."
"Night, both of you."
OoO
"Hi Tetheus!'
I looked away from the guards in training and settled my sight on the small boy in front of me. Fire dozed lazily on the banister, card reading 'ZZZZ'ing, don't disturb', Crewger doing likewise.
"What do you want?" I asked carefully, knowing the answer.
"If you could play!" Rath asked gleefully. I raised my eyebrow. Sure, he didn't know any of us yet as he'd only been... 'born' a couple weeks, but I was sure he could see I was busy with the guards' training...
"I'm busy," I said briskly and turned away from him.
"Aw, c'mon, I'm so boooored... Fire and Crewger are ignoring me again..." I almost smiled at his wistful tone. So much like Torea's... I didn't know how to play with young children, since I wasn't one anymore, and my father had never 'played' with us. He trained us, taught us how to fight. I suddenly had an idea.
"Hm... maybe..." I said, stroking my chin, taunting him. Contrary to popular belief, I did have a sense of humor. It was just rarely shown, and usually sarcastic.
"Pleeeease!" he begged me. I drew my sword.
"Can you hold this?" I handed him the sword and he took it. I shifted his finger positions and he teetered a bit but held on to the sword firmly. He then tried to swing at me, completely losing balance and falling face first. I dove and caught his body with one hand and the sword with the other. Red splattered from my hand unheeded as I set him up straight instead.
"I'm sorry!" he squealed. I smiled very faintly.
"It's a large sword. And you barely have balance for yourself, much less a sword like this... But I think with some practice you'll be able to do well. Come," I turned and walked to the guards, hearing his light tappity- tap footsteps following me. Opening the door to the weapon shed, I scanned the room quickly for something just for him...
"Hey, this sword's cool!"
My red eyes whirled to the side to catch sight of the small dragon boy as he held up a sword as long as he was tall.
"Don't–" I paused. A soft glow was being emitted from the white sword. Straightening, I walked around Rath, scrutinizing him.
"What?"
"Hm..."
Louder this time, "What?"
"Maybe..."
"Tetheus..." the small impatient whine made me chuckle.
"I think the sword fits you," he was balanced, grip looked comfortable, the sword wasn't all that heavy despite its length... and it amused me to no end to see him with a sword so large.
"Really?" Rath looked at me excitedly.
"Yes. In fact, let's go try it out."
"Yay!" the fire knight all but ran over the door as he sped back into the light of outside. I followed and we cleared a small area besides the guard's training arena. Glaring at the guards to continue their work, I stood behind Rath.
"Alright, hands set like this," I demonstrated with my own sword, "Feet set apart so that you maintain your balance. Arms stretched out at a comfortable... look at your target slightly to the side. That way you can get a good running start..."
Rath bit his tongue lightly in concentration and once set looked up to me with eyes full of respect and idolization. I blinked, unused to seeing a look like that since Torea... I would have never thought that having a young kid around would remind me so much of my siblings... Did he remind me so much of my own because he was demon as well?
"Tetheus..." a small pout and impatient stare brought my attention back.
"I want you to swing forward."
"Okay," Rath leaned back, sword high above his head, and swung forward with all his little might, striking the ground and creating a slash in the ground Cernozura would have my head for. Well, it was too much to ask him to aim for the wooden target in front of him so soon...
"WOW!"
"That was powerful, balance and position are good, but you have to learn control," Yeah right. We were talking about Rath here, "You don't want to swing down with all your strength like that. You want to measure it and use only what's necessary so that you can control your swing. See how it veered left of your balance point?"
"Ok."
"Pay attention," I bent forward slightly and swung down, aimed perfectly for the center of the wooden target. I made a large gap in the ground as well though... that's why I always trained over stone...
"WOW! That's even better!"
"Try again," I said, watching him carefully, "Take a step forward for momentum if you need," Rath nodded and poised himself, looking at me for a split second, as if for confirmation, before he took a firmer grip on the handle and lifted the sword back high and crashing it down dead in the center of the gap I had made, widening it by at least a couple feet.
Silence rang out amidst Rath's amused giggles, as even the guards had stopped to look at the fire knight. I closed my mouth and strode forward to hide my gaping stare.
"What happened to controlling your strength?" I finally said.
"Whoops," he grinned sheepishly. I shook my head. I was sure that he wasn't using his full potential. This was all just a game to him. It was clear in his playful attitude. And if he was this powerful simply playing a game, what could he do if he was serious? Not even most of the guards had such strength, and Rath was merely a couple years old. Barely past the toddler. Stage. In fact, this certain seven-year old could probably take Tetheus on in a couple years and win.
"From now on, you'll be taking swordsmanship and fighting lessons from me," I paused, "And Kaistern, if he agrees to it," I added. As a precaution. He would be too much of a handful for just me.
"YAY!"
"This means no goofing off."
Rath blinked innocently, "I only goof off in my studies because they're so boring. This is fun," the logic of Children, explained.
"Now that you've learned a vertical strike, I'll teach you to swing horizontally, then diagonally, then a twisting stab, then some basic fighting moves; punches, blocking, kicks, all to be used in combination or separation of your sword. Got all that?"
"I think so. That's a lot to learn... will we be done today?" All the people present, including me, sweatdropped.
"No. This could take years. It depends how fast you learn it."
"Oh..." he cocked his head, as if not sure if he should be complaining about that or happy.
OoO
"We're done for today," I called out to Rath as he swung at imaginary targets, laughing the whole time.
"One more?" he paused, pleading.
"One more," I agreed. He swung a couple more times, until apparently, his imaginary foe died.
"What were you fighting?" I asked as we walked in.
"Demons! Isn't that the point to fighting, to kill demons?" he answered as if it was the most logical thing in the world.
"Yes, but... you want to kill demons?" I asked, looking at him. What was the point in asking him that? The boy knew nothing of his dark past, and I doubted anyone would tell him. Possibly Lykouleon, but definitely not until he was grown up. A truth like that would shatter his world as well as his mind, and how were we supposed to react towards him once we knew he knew? I shuddered just imagining what would happen the day he found out. Our world would be turned upside down.
"Of course! That sounds like so much fun. And demons are evil!" he said cheerfully. But as I watched him, he paused, looking thoughtful and concentrated, an odd expression on his face. He looked at me, and I knew I was looking at Rath's odd personality switch, that strange phenomenon in which he would abruptly switch from being a cheerful naïve kid into a disturbingly mature and perceptive, aware and discerning. He looked at me, as if searching for something within himself and trying to relay it to me, "I feel... like I'm... supposed to kill demons. Like they caused me... pain somehow... and I'm just meant to kill them."
"Murder is nothing proper for a young mind like yours," I said.
"Do you really consider it murder when it's a demon?" I almost stopped to look at him, rebuking him for his alarmingly insightful words. He was right though. They were just demons, it didn't matter. The reason I didn't want him hunting demons wasn't because it was murder, or improper for him, it was because he was a demon as well. He gazed at me, waiting for an answer.
"No," I said finally, candidly.
"Would you consider it murder if someone killed me?"
This time I did stop, and looked at him wonderingly. He gazed evenly back at me, not flinching at my stern look.
"Of course we would. But don't trouble yourself about things like that," Rath just looked at me, as if he was doubting something, as if he knew something. I hesitated, looking for a distraction of any kind. And distraction's middle name, as I had always known, was Ruwalk or Kaistern. The later one proved truthful today.
"Rath! Time for dinner, come wash your hands!" the blue officer called, marching up to the youngster and dragging the giggling form off.
I couldn't help thinking about his words. What had possessed him to ask whether we would consider it murder if he was killed? As if to see what my response would be? As if he knew that he was a youkai, and that being so, I would be contradicting myself by my responses. I was bewildered. Sometimes I doubted if he was as innocent as he acted. Or as unknowing. But there was no way he knew about his blood... My puzzlement over his words didn't lessen any as I walked back to the guards that night.
OoO
I looked up briefly from my book, continuing the flow of words, as I checked on Rath. Bored out of his mind, he'd asked me to read to him the book I was reading at the moment, and I had agreed. The candlelight provided just enough light to illuminate the pages properly without blinding me. I had never been one for bright lights, although sunlight was tolerated. I kept on reading.
"'I had no one left, my family was all gone. I was alone,'–"
"I have family," Rath said happily, "I have you and Kaistern and Alfeegi and Ruwalk and Raseleane and Lykouleon and Fire and Crewger and Cernozura!" he paused, "Do you have a family?"
I sighed, "Yes, I used to."
"What happened to them?" he asked curiously, setting his chin on his cupped hands.
"They died."
"How?"
I glared at him lightly, but I saw no spite, no want to hurt. Just pure curiosity. Maybe he simply didn't imagine that it would hurt to remember. So I dissolved my glare and instead looked up at the dark ceiling and began.
"After our parents died, my brother and sister and I lived in a small town. And then some demons attacked, decimated the whole place. In the skirmish, we got separated. I was never able to find their bodies," I admitted, "So I guess they were either eaten by the demons, or maybe the survived and were picked up by someone, as I was."
I hadn't realized my voice had lowered to a soft whisper, and was surprised to feel the hurt in it. Slowly, sitting up, I lifted the cuff of my sleeve, revealing a very pale small patch of paler skin, "It's a scar. Faded now, from the hundreds of years I've lived as a dragon," And demon, I mentally added.
"Do you miss them?" the fire knight asked sympathetically. I didn't speak for a moment. Truthfully, I had denied it all for so long, shoved it into the furthest corner of my mind. I knew I could deal with it now, but it'd been so long since I'd thought about it.
"I do. A lot," I finally admitted. I wasn't going to cry, I hadn't done that in centuries, but I did allow myself to lean forward, pressing the crimson knight to me. I knew he was surprised, and maybe a bit uncomfortable, by the way he tensed when I hugged him, but I only pressed him closer, burying my face in his soft hair. And I felt him relax and wrap his small arms around me as best as he could.
"Don't cry..."
I smiled at his plead.
"You remind me a lot of them."
"I'm sorry," he said quietly and I sat up, looking at him softly, my face unused to such an expression.
"Don't be. It's good for me to feel things every once in a while instead of being wrapped up in everything except myself."
Rath sat himself in my lap, snuggling in my jacket, "What were your siblings like?"
I smiled down at him, "Well," I began, thinking hard, "Sarea had the most beautiful voice and Torea was mischievous..."

"Tetheus!" I whirled around, hearing my name being called. I was confused for a moment, because even though I knew the voice, it was lacking its usual cheerfulness, and at that, I frowned, but it didn't last long as I saw her bounding down the courtyard steps. It was Kitchel, carrying something in her arms.

"Kitchel," I acknowledged with a small smile.

"Hi..." she wrapped one arm around mine and with the other held up her cargo, "Look, it's a kitten. I found it when Thatz and I went to Draqueen."

"Cute," I scratched the small furball's ear, and it purred loudly, leaning into my touch.

"Why... why didn't you tell me th–" Kitchel began, then stopped abruptly, "Never mind. Is it alright if I walk with you?"

"I'm only doing my routinely rounds..." I said. There was something off with her... like the current perkiness in her voice was being forced. I didn't push it though, knowing she'd tell me eventually.

"I don't care, you know I love you," her alluringly sensual voice told me.

"I know..." she'd told me a while ago. And while I enjoyed her company, and had realized that... maybe I did feel the same for her, I was inept at expressing it. And so far, she thought all she had was unrequited love. Maybe sometime I'd show her differently, but now wasn't the time.

Kitchel sighed and leaned against me, "I got mad at Thatz today. I shouldn't have. He's taking all of Rath's deal very hard," she glanced up, "And you've been really distracted as well."

"I'm surprised you noticed," so it was a fight with Thatz that had her in a bad mood? Or did it have something to do with what she was going to ask me and stopped?

"Of course I would, how can I not pay attention to a hunk like you?" she giggled half heartedly. Anyone else I would have glared at, but for her, I simply gave her an amused look and continued walking. She did keep me distracted...

OoO

Hours later, I sat in my room, sipping some hot tea and looking out the window. A second cup of steaming tea sat on a platter on the table. I used to keep a cup of juice on the table every night when Rath was little, expecting his company too. Before his little trip to Kharl.

The door opened revealing Kitchel carrying that bundle of hair again. She hadn't let that thing go all day. She smiled slightly, but she wasn't her usual hyperactive cheery self today.

"Tea ready as usual. Did you remember my sugar?"

I nodded. She sighed, shaking her head, loose pink hair falling messily around her face. She sat down next to me, absently patting the kitten as she poured sugar into her tea and stirred it slowly. The kitten meow and she let it lick up a bit of her tea.

"Sugar makes them sick, you know," I watched her. She looked up at me, and I was surprise and no less than taken aback by the betrayal in her eyes.

"Why didn't anyone tell me Rath was a demon? More importantly, that he was the demon that destroyed Dusis?" her voice was cold, angry.

I blanched completely, speechless.

"I found out today! Waaay after the guy is dead, I finally found out that he was a demon. And nobody trusted me enough to tell me?" I began to see tears forming in her eyes and took her into my arms hesitantly. It surprised me to feel how much it hurt me to see her like this. So this was what had had her in a bad mood earlier.

"Because it was so painful for him. And for us," I responded quietly.

She looked up at me, still dubious, "But you never once though to tell me?"

"Rath... It hurt him a lot to find out he was a demon. Before he found out, he was sweet... childlike, innocent. He was playful and kind, inquisitive. He was open to everyone and warm, smiling all the time. But... when he found out, he closed out completely. Thatz never got to see the smiling Rath. You didn't either. It hurt him so much to know... maybe because he hunted demons, and to find out that he was in fact, killing his own kind. Maybe because he found out... what demon he was. What would you feel like it you found out you were a creature that people feared and hated. That all the people you loved hated those creatures, and they knew that you were one of them. You'd wonder how they could treat you any different. You'd be guilty at all the death and pain you caused. No... most importantly, how would you feel if you found out you were this creature that everyone feared and hated. That had done immeasurable amounts of damage and death, that everyone spoke of with fear? And then you found out that the whole time, they were speaking about you."

I stopped and let my words sink in. Rath had been like a son to me... and now he was gone, like all the rest of my family, I thought bitterly.

"Rath meant so much to me. He brought back my brother and sister into my life. First I'd lost them, and now him. Although really, he was gone from the moment he found out he was the demon that took Illuser's body," I knew my body was trembling, shaking even. But I wasn't going to let on to how shaken I really was. Despite that, Kitchel knew. She was good at figuring people out. She threw her arms around me, comforting me. Letting me sink into her and relax, and let the thoughts and emotions swirl around my head. Her presence had such a calming effect on me...

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she gave a small sigh and lifted chin.

"I didn't know he meant so much to you. I'm sorry, I would have kept quiet..."

He cut her off with a slight shake of his head, "No... It's better that I get it over with. And you couldn't have known, I never told anyone except him."

She snuggled against me, and even though it would have appeared that she was the one seeking comfort, it was me who was comforted. She always did that. I absently picked up a lock of her silky hair, stroking it. She in turn took my hand, pressing it to her heart.

"Everyone's been really depressed since he died. I mean, I can tell you're all trying to move on, but... you get that feeling. Especially you. It's this feeling that says that much as you don't speak about it, or act like don't feel it, in the night, inside of you, when you're all alone, that's all that comes out, grief," Kitchel's quiet words resounded in the room. She was like Rath, I realized. Able to bring out things that I kept to myself, things I hadn't told anyone ever.

"Thank you," I said, knowing she would understand.

"You're welcome."

OoO

I was, once again, patrolling the castle grounds when I heard her call again.

"Tetheus!" this time though, the cheerfulness was back, relieving me. Behind her were Delte and Thatz, arms wrapped loosely around the fortune- teller's waist. I gave them a questioning look but said nothing. Kitchel took my arm and began walking in step to me.

"Thatz and Delte are so cozy together, why can't we be like that?" she pouted. Delte blushed lightly, and Thatz grinned, looking at her softly.

"Alright, how about this?" I leaned down and caught her lips tightly in mine, hearing Thatz's whoop of encouragement and Kitchel's light gasp. It wasn't my first kiss, and I could fathom that it wasn't hers either, but it felt so refreshing, so right...

I wrapped my arms around her and she responded, reaching up and fondling my hair, still not breaking apart, opening my mouth a bit to let my tongue slip through slowly, meeting with hers halfway. And then parted, face flushed, eyes burning with the same passion I knew showed in mine.

"Yeah, something like that," she smiled, kissing me again. In the brief moment we had parted, I'd seen Thatz and Delte, surprised, but pleased looking for a moment before he caught her in a kiss as well. Then I was too busy to notice either one of them.