'This, I could get used to.' Teli thought to herself as she felt the
motion and power of the motorcycle underneath her. 'Wish Zane would let me
drive for a change.' Teli mumbled in her mind. The trivial thought was
easy to deal with, as it had no connection to the bitter ones that
constantly threatened to take over her mind. They had been traveling all
through night on the winding country roads Zane choose, pitch-black save
for the starlight. Not that the two transgenics were having any problems
with that, however.
A moving figure trotting along the side of the road caught Teli's eye. She only had a few seconds to take it in from her seat on the speeding motorcycle. It was a dog, a German Shepard mix. Teli was instantly reminded of Molly. In her mind's eye she saw Molly as a puppy, playful and squirmy. It had taken two whole days for Brian and Teli to teach her how to sit, lie down, and stay. Teli smiled softly to herself at the memory, little Molly with her huge puppy paws and too much wiggly energy. She and Brian would have to teach Molly some new tricks when she came home. 'If I come home.' The thought harshly jerked Teli back to reality like a bucket of ice water had been dumped down her back. She felt the unexpected salty sting of tears in her eyes and a sudden painful pressure build in her chest. 'Oh man.' Teli thought as she tried to blink the tears away, 'such a simple memory and this is how I react? Some soldier I make.' Teli starred at the black leather jacket in front of her. A new respect for the person in front of her dawned Teli's mind as she fought to push away the pain of memories. 'They've had to do this all their lives, suppress everything and keep going. I don't know if I can do that.' Teli thought sadly.
Unwilling to risk any exposure, Zane chose a remote, abandoned building for their first night's lodgings - actually, it was first day's. The two of them had traveled into the early morning, when Zane had decided to take cover during the day, pulling up to the old building just as the sun graced the sky. It was a spooky looking place. Shadows stretched long and gloomy in the early light. The roof was collapsing in places and the old wooden floorboards had rotted away years ago. Cobwebs shrouded the beams and old, dry straw was scattered from the drafts. The stale stench of animals long since gone led Teli to the conclusion that they were in some sort of old barn. That old barn was where Teli left the last of her tears behind. Two bright drops trickled down her face as she took in her harsh surroundings, out of place amidst the dead rot. She had gone from a nice family dinner to hiding with the rats and less then 24 hours. The surreal reality settled heavily on her shoulders as she sank down heavily against an old beam. Zane saw the streaks on Teli's cheeks and simply said "None of that," in sympathetic but firm tone. Teli took a deep breath, wiped the tears away and tried to check her emotions. She looked up at Zane, a glare in her sad eyes. Zane looked back, purposefully expressionless. He knew what she was going through was tough, but h*ll, he'd been doing it his whole life, Teli would get used to it in time.
It was times like that which made Teli glad she didn't need much sleep. The day wore on slowly; Teli watched the patterns of light and shadow lines stretch out across the dirt floor, shrink, and then stretch long again towards the east. Zane drifted in and out of an uneasy sleep, snapping wide-awake at any disturbance in the silence that penetrated the old barn. Teli tried to sleep, but it drifted just out of her reach. When the sky finally darkened, Teli was not sorry to leave the place.
They were on the road again by 2100 that evening, traveling through the dark under the same starlit skies. Teli reflected again on the motorcycle and its fluid motion. She'd never been on one before this experience. 'I think my first investment will have to be in one of these.' Teli thought absentmindedly. Once again, she had plenty of time to think, with Zane silently guiding the bike onward. She tried hard to keep her thoughts on their destination and not on what she had left behind. Slowly, Teli built a shell around her, in which she would be safe, safe from the pain, safe from the memories. It was easier that way, blocking out all the names, faces, recollections and places in her memory. They were all connected to her life, yet the life she had led was, in so many ways a lie, and that made all the memories feel like lies as well. It already seemed years ago that she had left everything behind. So instead of dwelling on her past life, Teli watched the little country towns they passed with keen eyes. All the houses were dark and the streets were quiet. Teli and Zane passed through like apparitions in a ghost town, unknown and unwelcome. Teli knew Zane had taken a path up through parts northern Nevada, running alongside the mountains she knew so well. Eventually, she figured, they would have to turn west if they were going into the cities to disappear into the crowds. At least, she was assuming that was the plan.
But Zane turned east, leaving the little towns and the towering protection of the mountains behind for the open exposure of freezing nights and sweltering days.
"Zane," Teli ventured a question for the first time since they'd left the gloomy old barn, "Why east? You'll head right into the desert." Teli thought she would just get silence from the concentrated back she was always facing, but Zane did answer.
"And so will anyone who is trying to follow." He said shortly, leaving Teli to figure out the tactics on her own. Of course. Teli felt like slapping herself. If she had just thought a *little*, she would've realized Zane was taking a roundabout way to their destination to throw anyone off their trail. 'Someone on our trail.' The thought suddenly disturbed Teli, and she glanced quickly behind them, but only the black road and dark, empty fields met her eyes. She turned back to Zane.
"Someone is following?" She asked, glancing back to the nothingness they were leaving behind.
"Someone is always following." He answered, and pushed the bike into a higher gear.
****
Dear Angel,
Seems like it's been a while since I've written, well, guess I'll catch up. Leaving my family and my home is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, even though it already feels like that life was a dream or something. I guess I always knew it would come to this; I just didn't want to accept it, didn't want to believe it. I could hardly stand the look on my mother's face when she watched me walk out the door - it's hard to believe she actually let me go. She must've known somehow that I had to, that this was a choice made for me by something out of my control. And Kat, God, I hope she's okay. I should never have told her anything! She'd be safe that way; it'll be my fault if anything happens to her. She never asked for this, and I laid it all on her shoulders, couldn't carry it all myself. That was really stupid of me, but I wanted so much to be able to talk to her, talk to someone, selfish as that is. And Shane. Will I ever see him again? He always seemed to just understand me, no matter what. Even though I never told him anything. And now I'm really glad I didn't.
Zane has been pushing pretty hard these past few days. He's a hard one to figure out, the only side I ever saw was the trainer, the drill sergeant, the soldier who pushed me to be better. Is this him? Or is this the mask all rouges hide behind? Who knows what I'll learn about him on this little journey, though, I think I'm starting to see the world how he seems to sees it - bleak and dangerous, or at least, I'm starting to think like a soldier, like he wants me to. Not to say I like it, because I don't, not a bit. I've never really felt unsafe before, and now, every shadow holds a potential threat. Trust no one. Leave nothing to chance. No such thing as luck. I don't know how he can stand it, to keep his guard up all the time.
We travel at night and rest, sometimes, during the day. I think he needs more sleep than I do or we'd probably be on the road more often. You know, I always wanted to travel, to see the world. I just never figure I'd be doing it like this, at night, running from an enemy I don't even know. And I can't even see much of the world when we're speeding past it in the dark.
The thought that keeps me going right now is that I'll get to see my brother, and that I'll get to meet you again. I figured, well, hoped, that since I was being moved, my brother would be too. I hope if he was, that leaving was less painful for him. Somehow I doubt it. And if your thoughts are at all similar to Zane's then the chances of me meeting him again are slim. I understand the reasons for this, really I do. But oh, how I want to meet him! He's the only family I've got now. Please?
--Teli
A moving figure trotting along the side of the road caught Teli's eye. She only had a few seconds to take it in from her seat on the speeding motorcycle. It was a dog, a German Shepard mix. Teli was instantly reminded of Molly. In her mind's eye she saw Molly as a puppy, playful and squirmy. It had taken two whole days for Brian and Teli to teach her how to sit, lie down, and stay. Teli smiled softly to herself at the memory, little Molly with her huge puppy paws and too much wiggly energy. She and Brian would have to teach Molly some new tricks when she came home. 'If I come home.' The thought harshly jerked Teli back to reality like a bucket of ice water had been dumped down her back. She felt the unexpected salty sting of tears in her eyes and a sudden painful pressure build in her chest. 'Oh man.' Teli thought as she tried to blink the tears away, 'such a simple memory and this is how I react? Some soldier I make.' Teli starred at the black leather jacket in front of her. A new respect for the person in front of her dawned Teli's mind as she fought to push away the pain of memories. 'They've had to do this all their lives, suppress everything and keep going. I don't know if I can do that.' Teli thought sadly.
Unwilling to risk any exposure, Zane chose a remote, abandoned building for their first night's lodgings - actually, it was first day's. The two of them had traveled into the early morning, when Zane had decided to take cover during the day, pulling up to the old building just as the sun graced the sky. It was a spooky looking place. Shadows stretched long and gloomy in the early light. The roof was collapsing in places and the old wooden floorboards had rotted away years ago. Cobwebs shrouded the beams and old, dry straw was scattered from the drafts. The stale stench of animals long since gone led Teli to the conclusion that they were in some sort of old barn. That old barn was where Teli left the last of her tears behind. Two bright drops trickled down her face as she took in her harsh surroundings, out of place amidst the dead rot. She had gone from a nice family dinner to hiding with the rats and less then 24 hours. The surreal reality settled heavily on her shoulders as she sank down heavily against an old beam. Zane saw the streaks on Teli's cheeks and simply said "None of that," in sympathetic but firm tone. Teli took a deep breath, wiped the tears away and tried to check her emotions. She looked up at Zane, a glare in her sad eyes. Zane looked back, purposefully expressionless. He knew what she was going through was tough, but h*ll, he'd been doing it his whole life, Teli would get used to it in time.
It was times like that which made Teli glad she didn't need much sleep. The day wore on slowly; Teli watched the patterns of light and shadow lines stretch out across the dirt floor, shrink, and then stretch long again towards the east. Zane drifted in and out of an uneasy sleep, snapping wide-awake at any disturbance in the silence that penetrated the old barn. Teli tried to sleep, but it drifted just out of her reach. When the sky finally darkened, Teli was not sorry to leave the place.
They were on the road again by 2100 that evening, traveling through the dark under the same starlit skies. Teli reflected again on the motorcycle and its fluid motion. She'd never been on one before this experience. 'I think my first investment will have to be in one of these.' Teli thought absentmindedly. Once again, she had plenty of time to think, with Zane silently guiding the bike onward. She tried hard to keep her thoughts on their destination and not on what she had left behind. Slowly, Teli built a shell around her, in which she would be safe, safe from the pain, safe from the memories. It was easier that way, blocking out all the names, faces, recollections and places in her memory. They were all connected to her life, yet the life she had led was, in so many ways a lie, and that made all the memories feel like lies as well. It already seemed years ago that she had left everything behind. So instead of dwelling on her past life, Teli watched the little country towns they passed with keen eyes. All the houses were dark and the streets were quiet. Teli and Zane passed through like apparitions in a ghost town, unknown and unwelcome. Teli knew Zane had taken a path up through parts northern Nevada, running alongside the mountains she knew so well. Eventually, she figured, they would have to turn west if they were going into the cities to disappear into the crowds. At least, she was assuming that was the plan.
But Zane turned east, leaving the little towns and the towering protection of the mountains behind for the open exposure of freezing nights and sweltering days.
"Zane," Teli ventured a question for the first time since they'd left the gloomy old barn, "Why east? You'll head right into the desert." Teli thought she would just get silence from the concentrated back she was always facing, but Zane did answer.
"And so will anyone who is trying to follow." He said shortly, leaving Teli to figure out the tactics on her own. Of course. Teli felt like slapping herself. If she had just thought a *little*, she would've realized Zane was taking a roundabout way to their destination to throw anyone off their trail. 'Someone on our trail.' The thought suddenly disturbed Teli, and she glanced quickly behind them, but only the black road and dark, empty fields met her eyes. She turned back to Zane.
"Someone is following?" She asked, glancing back to the nothingness they were leaving behind.
"Someone is always following." He answered, and pushed the bike into a higher gear.
****
Dear Angel,
Seems like it's been a while since I've written, well, guess I'll catch up. Leaving my family and my home is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, even though it already feels like that life was a dream or something. I guess I always knew it would come to this; I just didn't want to accept it, didn't want to believe it. I could hardly stand the look on my mother's face when she watched me walk out the door - it's hard to believe she actually let me go. She must've known somehow that I had to, that this was a choice made for me by something out of my control. And Kat, God, I hope she's okay. I should never have told her anything! She'd be safe that way; it'll be my fault if anything happens to her. She never asked for this, and I laid it all on her shoulders, couldn't carry it all myself. That was really stupid of me, but I wanted so much to be able to talk to her, talk to someone, selfish as that is. And Shane. Will I ever see him again? He always seemed to just understand me, no matter what. Even though I never told him anything. And now I'm really glad I didn't.
Zane has been pushing pretty hard these past few days. He's a hard one to figure out, the only side I ever saw was the trainer, the drill sergeant, the soldier who pushed me to be better. Is this him? Or is this the mask all rouges hide behind? Who knows what I'll learn about him on this little journey, though, I think I'm starting to see the world how he seems to sees it - bleak and dangerous, or at least, I'm starting to think like a soldier, like he wants me to. Not to say I like it, because I don't, not a bit. I've never really felt unsafe before, and now, every shadow holds a potential threat. Trust no one. Leave nothing to chance. No such thing as luck. I don't know how he can stand it, to keep his guard up all the time.
We travel at night and rest, sometimes, during the day. I think he needs more sleep than I do or we'd probably be on the road more often. You know, I always wanted to travel, to see the world. I just never figure I'd be doing it like this, at night, running from an enemy I don't even know. And I can't even see much of the world when we're speeding past it in the dark.
The thought that keeps me going right now is that I'll get to see my brother, and that I'll get to meet you again. I figured, well, hoped, that since I was being moved, my brother would be too. I hope if he was, that leaving was less painful for him. Somehow I doubt it. And if your thoughts are at all similar to Zane's then the chances of me meeting him again are slim. I understand the reasons for this, really I do. But oh, how I want to meet him! He's the only family I've got now. Please?
--Teli