Author's Notes: Sorry for having this chapter up so late in the day. Anyway—okay, this might be a long one, so don't get bored half way through and leave.
Chapter 3: The Hunt for NeoThe light shone through the window of Neo's apartment and into his eyes. He woke up groggily and looked around.
"Oh...my head...I've got a wicked hangover...what did I do last night? Um...oh, yeah, that chick in the rubber jumpsuit said I'd find out what The Matrix is...sweet!"
He looked around. He saw his clock on his bedside table. It said it was 10:00.
"Stupid alarm clock!" Neo yelled. "Mess with my day, will ya? I'ma cut you!"
Neo took out a switchblade and stabbed it into the clock.
"There!" he said. "Problem solved!"
Neo paused.
"Wait, that doesn't mean I don't have to go to work, it just means that I don't have a clock any more...son of a—!"
I'll just cut this off before I have to up the rating higher than PG-13.
Metacortex. A multi-national software company, and current employer of Neo Anderson. Or, at least, he hoped it still was, because when he had come to work an hour late, he had been summoned to the office of Mr. Rhineheart, Neo's boss.
"Mr. Anderson, you seem to have a problem with authority. You think that you are somehow special, and that you are allowed to come to work late, unlike everyone else. Metacortex is a multi-billion-dollar Software Company, and supplier of computers to companies all around the world. Your slacker behavior reflects upon the rest of this company, and we can't allow another slip-up like this too happen, can we?"
"No, we can't."
"Man, the author really got the dialogue for this scene way off, didn't he?"
"Yeah, totally. It's because he saw The Matrix about a week ago, and can't remember a lot of the details."
"Ah."
Neo sat on his chair in his cubicle on his computer, so amazingly glad that he had not been fired. Currently, he was on his computer on the Internet, logging on to
"Man, that Radioactive sure can write..." he said to himself as he read one of the stories.
A FedEx guy holding a package under his arm walked into his cubicle.
"Thomas Anderson?" he asked.
"That's me."
"Prove it."
"What?"
"How do I know you're Thomas Anderson?"
"Umm...well, I have my I.D. right here..."
Neo handed the FedEx guy his I.D. card. The FedEx guy took the card, glanced left and right, and yelled, "Yoink!", dropped the package, and ran off with Neo's I.D. As he ran through the room, Neo could hear him yelling, "I'm gonna get some booze tonight!"
Neo picked up the package off the floor and looked at it. It was a brown folder without a return address on it. He opened the folder. A cell phone slid out of the folder into Neo's hand. The second the cell phone touched Neo's hand, it began to ring.
"AHHHH!" screamed Neo. He paused, and began singing along to the ring tone.
"La Cucaracha! La Cucaracha!
La-la-la-la-la-la-la!
La-la-la-la-la! La-la-la-la-la!
La-la-la-la-la-la-la!"
Neo paused.
"Okay, I don't know the words."
He opened the cell phone.
"Hello?"
"Wassssup!" yelled the voice on the other sign.
"Wasssssap!" yelled Neo.
"Ssssssa!"
"Sssssssa!"
"Ahhhhh!"
"Ahhhhhh!"
"Blaaaaaaaah!"
"Okay, this thing went out two years ago. What is it?"
"You've probably already guessed who I am."
"Um...Cab Calloway?"
"Cab...? No, moron! I'm Morpheus! Trinity was right, you are a moron!"
"Morpheus! That great famous computer hacker! Can I have your autograph?"
"Sure, kid! Who should I make it out—wait a second! We're talking to each other on the phone! I'm not even in the same room as you!"
"Oh, right."
"They're coming for you."
"Who are."
"They are."
"They?"
"Yes, they."
"You mean those giant ants from that movie?"
"What? No, retard! I'm saying 'they' so I can say that someone's coming for you without giving out the identity of them in doing so!"
"I see."
"Now, look across the room at the elevator."
Neo put his cell phone at his side and peered over the side of his cubicle wall across the room. He looked at the elevator. Two men were standing there, in black suits and black sunglasses. They were asking another worker for directions. The person they asked pointed in the direction of Neo's cubicle.
"I have got to remember to egg that person's car tomorrow," thought Neo.
"Okay," said Morpheus's voice. "You'll be able to get out of here if you follow my instructions. There' any empty cubicle across the hall. Go there when I say so...now!"
Neo bolted across the hall and into the cubicle across the hall. Sure enough, it was empty. Just as Neo got into the empty cubicle, the two men in suits came up to Neo's cubicle and looked inside. They exchanged glances.
In case you haven't guessed (which you should have, or else you're a moron), the two men were Smith and Jones.
"He's not inside," said Jones.
"Now we'll never win the scavenger hunt," said Smith with a frown. The two agents walked off sadly.
"Okay," said Morpheus's voice. "Follow my directions, and you'll get out of the office building safely. Get up in three seconds, and run to the end of the row, going to the left. Turn around when you get there and hide against the side of the row on you right side."
Neo waited three seconds, and did as Morpheus had said.
"Now what?"
"There's an office at the end of the hall. Run down the row and into the office. Try to keep as low as you can."
Neo ducked down his head and ran across the row and into the office. He shut the door immediately. He saw that he was in Rhineheart's office. Luckily, Rhineheart was not there.
"Now what do I do?" asked Neo.
Morpheus did not answer. Neo could only hear strange, muffling sounds.
"Morpheus?" asked Neo.
"Oh, I'm sorry," said Morpheus's voice. "I was eating a brownie. What did you say?"
"Grr...what do I do now?"
"Oh, right, of course. The escaping, and all that. Well, see that window cleaner's platform on the right side of the room outside on the window?"
"Yeah."
"Open the window in front of you. Slide across the ledge until you get to the platform. Use that to get out."
"What? That's insane!"
"Look, you're getting out of this building two ways, kid. On that platform, or through them. You've got about an equal chance of both."
Neo groaned.
"Fine," he muttered.
"Don't take that tone with me, young man!" snapped Morpheus.
Neo opened the window in front of him and walked onto the ledge outside of the window. He began to edge across the ledge in the direction of the platform. After a few seconds, he dropped the cell phone. He watched as it fell 50 stories to the ground.
"You moron! This cell phone cost me $500!" yelled Morpheus's voice from the cell phone as it fell. Neo was intimidated by the length of the fall that the phone went through before hitting the ground.
"This is insane!" yelled Neo nervously.
"I agree, the price for gas is getting insane!" yelled a guy next to Neo.
Neo slid back inside the window and into the office.
Neo had let turned himself in to the agents, and after that, he had been taken to the police station and placed under arrest. He had been put into a small white room with nothing but a table, an armed guard at the door and a security camera in the corner.
After a few minutes, Agent Smith walked in. He was carrying a folder in his hand. He sat down at the other end of the table, facing Neo, and put the folder on the table. He opened up the folder. He began looking it over for a moment.
"Hmm..." said Smith.
A waiter walked up.
"Are you finished ordering?"
"Yes, I'll have the chicken enchilada," said Smith.
"And for you?"
"I'll just have coffee, thanks," said Neo.
The waiter took the folder from Smith and walked off. There was a pause.
"That was weird," commented Neo.
"Yeah," said Smith. "Now, on to business. Mr. Anderson, you seem to be living a half-life. In once life, you're Thomas A. Anderson, a law-abiding citizen who works for a respectable software company. You have never broken the law, you pay your taxes, and you help your land lady carry put her garbage on Mondays."
"No, I don't."
He—I was getting to that! In the other life, you are a skilled computer thief who uses the hacker alias 'Neo', and have committed every computer crime we have a law against."
"Uh...no, I'm not!"
"There's really no use hiding it."
"Aww..."
"Anyway, we know that you have come into contact with a man named Morpheus. This man is dangerous, and a convicted felon. We need your help to capture him, Mr. Anderson. We're willing to wipe the slate clean, give you a fresh start. All that we're asking in return is your cooperation in bringing a known terrorist to justice."
"Yeah, well, that sounds like a pretty good deal," snapped Neo, "But I think I may have a better one. How about I give you the finger—"
Neo held up his middle finger to Smith.
"—and you give me my phone call."
"But Mr. Anderson," said Smith. "What's the point of a phone call if you have no mouth?"
"But I do have a mouth."
"I know! Just wait a few seconds! Then you won't have a mouth!"
"Oh."
"Well, you've kind of ruined the drama of this scene."
"Srry. Wht u schnd...hh, Ghd! Mh mhth hs dhshpprhng!"
"Told you."
"Mrph mrpphh. Murmurph mph mrphph. Mrphmr mrphmph mph?"
"Of course."
"Mph hph," said Neo, and then he began to do what he had asked if he could do: scream as loud as he could.
"MPHPHMPHPMHPHMHPMHPMHPHMHPHPHPHMHPHPHMHPHMHPHMH!!!!"
As Neo's screams filled the room, another agent walked in holding a tiny glass canister. He handed the canister to Smith. Smith took out what was in the canister: what looked like a tiny, robotic scorpion of some sort of animatronic insect. The second agent pushed Neo onto the table and pulled open Neo's shirt. Smith lowered the horrible robot above Neo's stomach. He lowered it right above Neo's belly button, and the creature crawled through it into Neo's body.
"Hhy, thht hcthlly khndha thcklhs," said Neo.
Suddenly, Neo woke up with a start. He looked around. He was in his apartment, in his bed. He immediately put his hand to his mouth. His mouth was not covered in flesh. He had a mouth. He then realized that somewhere between the time he had been in his office and the time he had woken up, he had fallen asleep, and that the whole incident with the agents had been a strange dream. He felt much better.
Just then, his phone rang. He picked it up.
"Hello, Neo."
"Morpheus!"
"This line is tapped, so I have to talk fast."
"How do you know it's tapped?"
"It's a secret."
"Aww, come on! I'll give you a chocolate bar!"
"Mmm...nah."
"Aww...anyway, I need you to help me!"
"If you wish to know the answers, meet me at the Cane Street Bridge tonight."
Neo stood under the Cane Street Bridge that night. It was very dark, and the dreary air in the area had intimidated Neo very much. Eventually, a car rolled up beside him. The door opened. Trinity was sitting in the car, next to another woman with short blond hair that Neo did not recognize.
"Get in," said Trinity.
Neo got in the car and sat between Trinity and the other woman.
"I know that your life has been strange for the last couple of days, so I want to know if your willing to stay with us and learn the truth, or you can et out of this car right now and go back to your normal life as a hacker on the run from the law."
Neo paused.
"This is all too much for me," he said. "I'm leaving."
Neo opened the door and began to walk out of the car.
"Please, Neo," said Trinity. "You have to believe me."
"Why?"
"Because you have been down there, Neo. You know that road, and you know exactly where it ends. And I know that's not where you want to be."
Neo paused again. He though for a moment.
"Okay, I'll stay." He got back in the car. Trinity nodded.
"Step on it, Apoc" she said, turning forward.
"Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" grunted the man driving the car.
"Open your shirt," said Trinity.
"What?"
"We think you might be bugged. Open your shirt."
Neo paused, and pulled open his shirt. Trinity leaned down to the floor, and pulled out something that looked like a cross between a vacuum cleaner and a jetpack. She took the large tube protruding out of the machine and stuck it over Neo's belly button. She pressed a few buttons on her machine, and Neo felt a humongous pain as a force of excruciatingly strong suction began pulling on his stomach. Trinity, meanwhile, was looking at a small screen on the other side of the machine. The machine was projecting a sonic projection of the area inside Neo's belly button, which was being displayed on the screen that Trinity was looking at. She carefully used her controls to control the level of suction needed to suck out a tiny, robotic scorpion-like creature. After a few seconds of unbearable pain, the tiny creature was sucked out of Neo and deposited in a small glass canister attached to the side of the machine. Neo stared at the tiny robot.
"Jesus Christ! You mean that thing's real?"
"What are you talking about? I didn't say anything."
"It's a figure of speech."
"Oh, yeah."
"Moron."
"Hey, that's my name for you! You can't use that!"
"Oh. Sorry."
Somehow, the meeting at the police office seemed to have not been a dream. And Neo felt as if he was being sucked deeper into the secret of the answer to the question:
What is The Matrix?
Or something like that. I dunno.
Author's Notes: There. This should make up for my last story's length. Please review!