Note from Authors: Hey, we know we said we'd add the 3rd chapter once we'd gotten 10 reviews, but, we, or rather, one of the "we's" can't wait that long. Also, we thank you for all of the reviews! So here it is! Please read, review, and enjoy.
Chapter three: What Foaly wants now...
Artemis and Butler were picking up the mess in the living room, and the kitchen.
"Really!" scoffed Artemis. "I can't see how Holly can expect any presents from me after what she's done here. Just look at this! How am I going to explain to my parents?"
Butler stopped for a second. He'd never heard Artemis ask "How" so sincerely before. Usually he could come up with a plan before you could even present the problem.
"You mean, you don't have a plan?" He asked.
"Don't get too excited Butler, I'm sure that I'll be able to come up with a suitable answer before dawn."
The manservant raised an eyebrow. He could tell that Artemis was planning even as he spoke. He just hoped that it didn't involve burglars, for that would imply that Butler had not secured the household. He knew that the Fowls wouldn't fire him, but having that on his record would be, with no other way to put it, rather painful.
Arf! Arf! Arf!
Artemis peered into the box he'd just picked up. "Oh," He said. "It's Cuddles. Butler would you kindly take this mutt up to the attic? It's the only room that I feel comfortable having the puppy in. I have a feeling that Holly will be back shortly, and I don't want this puppy on the loose if he does turn out to be what the goblins are hiding in. Plus, if this puppy is holding the goblins, then I may be able to collect a suitable sum of money if I hold the puppy hostage." He saw Butler's lip quiver slightly at hearing this, but the man mountain didn't argue. Artemis watched Butler take the puppy upstairs and then looked around. The room was still messy, but there wasn't enough time to clear it all up.
"I am being quiet!" hissed Holly as she tiptoed through the front door. "You're just being paranoid!" She was talking to Foaly, who had managed to get Commander Root to stop listening in.
"Paranoid? No Holly, this is what's called being careful., sheesh, I thought you of all people would understand that!"
It was true, but Holly was slightly distracted by the tempting thoughts of flip flops. She'd have to find out how to stop Artemis from backing out of the present deal. She still had 50 presents left after all (Root had insisted on taking 8 of them.)
"Just tell me where the goblins are," She said. "My tracking devices aren't picking up anything!"
"2 more presents?" Questioned Foaly.
"What!?! Not in a million years! And you won't be getting ANY presents if you ask again." Holly was tempted to leave the helmet in the trash bin as soon as he gave her the location of the culprits, but she resisted. She knew that Foaly was invaluable on this mission. "And Foaly, do you have any idea on how we're going to get Fowl to hand over the gifts? He's supposed to have forgotten about us...I mean he HAS forgotten about us!"
"Of course I have!" snapped Foaly. "I think of everything, remember?" In truth the centaur was racking his brain, but wouldn't admit it. There was silence.
"And...?" Asked Holly, tapping her foot impatiently.
"Erm...I'll tell you in a while. We're on a mission right now. Okay, do you know how to get into the Fowl's attic?"
"THE ATTIC!?! How did the goblins get up there? I've only been gone for five minutes!"
"I don't kno-" Foaly stopped. What had he been about to say!?! He, not know? Impossible! "I mean, they probably just ran really fast."
Holly Groaned.
"shhh!" hissed Foaly.
"Yeah yeah! It's just, well, it's three long flights of stairs up, and I'm not about try flying up there. Not in a house with so many breakable things."
"Okay, but it's gonna take a long time to get up there then. But don't worry, I'm sure that you're short lil' legs can get you up there within...two or three hours."
"WHAT!?!"
"Unless I get two more presents..."
Holly ground her teeth, "What are you talking about Foaly?"
There was a little whistling tunelessly on the other end of the line, Foaly was obviously not giving this one up.
"How can you're solution be worth two presents?" Holly scoffed, "I'll give you one,"
"Two," Foaly urged.
"One,"
"Two,"
"Oh not this again, fine you can have two presents, now what is this almighty solution of yours?"
"There's an elevator just down the hall to your left."
Holly resisted the urge to take off her helmet and smash it into little bits. Two presents for a lousy elevator?!? Oh well, after this she wouldn't ask Foaly for anymore solutions. She could hear Foaly chuckling to himself, "I now have nine presents." He sang annoyingly.
"Well I've still got..." Holly stopped to think, calculating in her head.
"Forty Eight presents," Foaly suggested.
"Yeah," Holly said, "Forty Eight, and you're not getting any of those!"
"Just as well, the elevator is out of order." Foaly gave a whinnying guffaw, "But for three more presents I could have it working just fine."
Holly growled and took off the helmet. "We'll see about that!" and she started off towards the elevator. If Foaly really had lied about the elevator, then he wouldn't get a single present from her. As she turned the corner she bumped into something...someone!
Holly quickly tried to get away, but although the hallway was dark, the person still saw her.
"Stay where you are Holly." Said Artemis. A light suddenly flickered on. "What are you doing back here so soon? I thought that you would have been fired by now."
"Yeah, well I wasn't, no thanks to you! But if you must know, I'm going to the attic. You see, there are some goblins up there that I really must tend to...or have you forgotten THAT as well?"
Foaly sighed, if you put Holly and Artemis in a room together then there was bound to be a fight.
The Fowl's safe
Meanwhile Mulch Diggums was carefully heaving a heavy load of treasure out of the Fowl's safe. Mostly gold, but a few wads of cash from different countries. After all, he never knew where he was going to end up.
The Attic"There you go little guy. Now stay put." Said Butler, carefully placing the dog in a box that had been laying up there and giving the puppy a light pat on the head. Actually, the attic was where Mr. and Mrs. Fowl had placed most of the wrapping paper and boxes and ribbons that they hadn't used while wrapping the presents. It was quite a mess up there. Butler wasn't quite sure if this was where Artemis really wanted the Goblin canine. After all, it could easily get lost in the mountains of gift wrapping supplies. But Butler never refused orders unless they interfered with the safety of his principal, or Juliet.
"Bye Cuddles," said Butler, shutting the door and-
WHAM!
Something hard came at Butler, hitting him in the arm. He looked down to see an LEP helmet, unbroken.
"What the-?" Suddenly a very angry looking Holly came stomping down the hall. She barely gave Butler a glance as she picked up the Helmet and put it on, talking in a faerie dialect.
"FIVE PRESENTS FOR BACK TALK?" She screeched, she held the helmet to her mouth and yelled into it, "And you're just sitting back and enjoying yourself, aren't you?" There was a positively overjoyed laugh that came through the speaker, it sounded as if Foaly had finally fallen to the floor with happiness. Holly, outraged at his enthusiasm found it in her to be heartless. "Well then, Foaly, That's Five less presents that you're getting."
There was a pause from Foaly's end and then what sounded like sobbing.
"no...Holly, I was just...well, don't do that..." Holly almost felt sorry for him until she realized that his sobs were not those of sorrow, but of entertained delight.
"ARRRGGHHH!" She ripped off the helmet and and again threw it to the floor so that she could stomp mercilessly on top of it. "TAKE THAT YOU FOUR FOOTED, WHINNYING, SORRY EXCUSE FOR AN LEP COMPUTER FREAK!" Shouted holly, lamely. She knew that Foaly couldn't hear her, for his loud guffaws were clearly heard through the helmet's speakers. "Stupid horse!" mumbled Holly.
"Shhhhh!" Holly jumped.Butler was there, looking at her sternly, and pointing at the slightly ajar door. "Be quiet..." he whispered. "The puppy's sleeping." She saw him look thoughtfully into the room where the puppy was and give a slight smile.
"Um...are you okay?" asked Holly.
"Oh! Um...Er...yeah, hehe. Just following orders." Said Butler closing the door and putting on his normal body guard poker face. "Master Artemis told me to put the puppy up here."
"Why up here?" asked Holly looking perplexed, and slightly angry, for Foaly had made sure to make the Fowl's computer controlled elevator, stall several times on the way up.
"Well, I think it's partly because he thinks it won't get into trouble up here, and partly because he found several of his gifts to himself, torn to shreds when we were cleaning up, and I think he's trying to punish the puppy in his own special way."
Holly raised an eyebrow. Leave it to Artemis Fowl, the most intelligent human in Europe (and possibly the world), to come up with the lamest form punishment for dogs.
"Anyhow, I'd better get back downstairs to Artemis. He's probably thinking that I've been playing with the puppy or something." Said Butler, going slightly red, for that's exactly what he'd been doing.
"No need," said Holly. "He's perfectly safe. I locked him in the bathroom downstairs when he tried to hold the Puppy ransom."
"You what?" Said Butler. Tonight couldn't get any weirder. He was suddenly wishing that he'd flown over to America to spend the Holidays with Juliet instead.
"I said I locked him in the bathroom." Said Holly plainly. "Anyhow, I need to get past you so I can find those goblins. My helmet says that they're behind that door."
Butler let her past him. He knew that Artemis would not approve, but lately nothing was going as planned.
The Bathroom
Artemis sat on the edge of the sink, glaring at the grungy toilet. Out of all the rooms in the house to put him in, it had to be the bathroom. He just hoped that Butler wouldn't be stupid enough to let Holly get passed him. The bodyguard was taking a very long time up there.
He's Probably playing with the puppy. Thought Artemis, feeling slightly disheartened by this thought. If Butler was playing with the puppy then it would take him perhaps half an hour before he found his principal.