Author's Notes: Okay, my memory of what happens after this is kind of fuzzy, so if you find any mistakes, don't, you know, tell me.

Chapter 6: The Oracle

Morning. Nebucadnezzar. Morpheus decided that Neo was ready to be taken back into The Matrix.

Five minutes later. Neo and Morpheus were inside a street in The Matrix. Morpheus was explaining more about The Matrix to him.

"The Matrix is a system, Neo. And that system is our enemy."

"We're enemies against software?"
"Yes."
"So...we're like an anti-virus program?"
"In essence."
"Cool!"
"Anyway...when you're in The Matrix, look around. What do you see? Businessmen, lawyers, teachers, carpenters."

"Actually, all I see is a bunch of people that all look strangely similar."
"Man...Tank is definitely not getting that raise..."

"What?"

"Nothing. Anyway, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged from The Matrix. Some of them are so attached, so hopelessly dependant on it, that they will fight to protect it."
Just then, a gorgeous woman in a scarlet dress walked by. She smiled at Neo.

"Are you listening to me, Neo, or are you looking at the woman in the red dress?"
"No, I wasn't undressing her with my mind, if that's what you mean!" he said nervously.

"Look again."
"Morpheus! You sly old dog!"

Neo turned around. The woman in the red dress was no longer standing there. Agent Smith was standing there, with a gun aimed at Neo head.

"HOLY SH—!"

"Freeze it!" called Morpheus the second before the shot was fired. Everything around them froze instantaneously; the people, the birds, the water in the fountain—all perfectly still, even Agent Smith.

"You mean...this isn't The Matrix?"
"No. It is—"

"You lied to me?"
"Yes."
"I hate you!"

"Likewise. Now, as I was saying, this is another training program designed to teach you one thing: if you are not one of us, then you are one of them."
"How does making me think that Agent Smith is about to blow my brains out teach me that?"
"I dunno. It's another metaphor."
"Of course."

Later, Trinity and Cypher stood in the control room, talking about the psychic of the unplugged humans, The Oracle.

"If Morpheus really believes that Neo's The One, then how come he hasn't taken him to see The Oracle yet?" asked Cypher.

"I dunno," Trinity shrugged. "He'll take Neo there when he's ready."

"And when Hell freezes over."
"But Hell did freeze over, in 2134, remember?"
"Oh, yeah. Well, you just knew the guys who operated the snow making machines at the skiing resorts would snap someday."
"Anyway, it's breakfast time. We should go."
"Oh, now it's we, is it?"
When Neo woke up, he was told that it was breakfast, and he was shown to the galley, which was a small room with nothing but a table and few chairs, and a weird machine that made some sort of food that looked like yogurt.

"There you go," said Tank, as he handed Neo a can of the strange food. "'Breakfast of Champions'. If you close your eyes, it kind of tastes like runny eggs!"

"Yeah, and shit," muttered Apoc.

"No, it doesn't! I know what shit tastes like!"

"Umm..."

"And, this stuff has all the vital nutrients and vitamins the body needs!"
"I feel like I'm in a cereal commercial."

"Wanna know what this reminds me of?" asked the little guy named Mouse to Neo. "Tasty wheat! You ever had tasty wheat?"

"No," said Switch, "But technically, neither have you."
"That's exactly my point! What if the Matrix computers got it wrong, and tasty wheat doesn't taste like tasty wheat at all, it tastes like macaroni and mustard?"

"Macaroni and mustard? What the hell does that mean?"
"It's a very tasty French delicacy, macaroni and mustard!" replied Mouse.

"No, it's not."

"Well, in some Caribbean countries—"

Just then, Morpheus walked in.

"Neo, I'm taking you to see The Oracle!" he announced.

"Okay, never mind," said Cypher.

After a few minutes, Neo and Morpheus had gotten into the real Matrix, and were going to go The Oracle's apartment.

When they got to the apartment building and were going up the elevator to The Oracle's apartment, Neo asked, "So, who is The Oracle?"
"The Oracle is a physic," replied Morpheus, "And a very wise one at that. They are very old, and has helped the humans many times."

"Have you gone to The Oracle before?"
"Yup."
"What'd they say?"
"They said that I would leave her apartment within the next hour."
"And did you?"
"Yes."
"Oh my god! The Oracle is a psychic!"

"Yeah. Trippy. They also said that I would find The One."
"Che-ah, right! Like that's gonna happen!

Then, the elevator stopped at The Oracle's floor. Neo and Morpheus got out, and Morpheus led Neo through the hallway to their apartment. When they got to the door, they stopped.

"I can only show you the door," said Morpheus. "It is up to you to walk through it."
"Can you talk in any other way than metaphors?"
"No, not really."
"I can see why the agents hate you."
Neo opened the door. There was a young woman standing in the inside.

"You must be Neo," she said to him.

"You'd think so, but no," said Neo.

"What are you talking about, moron?" snapped Morpheus. "Of course, you're Neo!"

"Oh, yeah. I forgot. Yes, you're right, I'm Neo."
"Come with me."
Neo followed the woman into the apartment living room.

"You can wait in here, with the other potentials."
Neo looked around. He saw that the room was filled with children. On the ground, on the chairs, on the couches. They were all doing something intellectual. Some were reading, some were writing, and some seemed to be straight-out paranormal. He saw two little girls sitting on the ground. One of them was playing with blocks, but she was not touching them. She was causing them to float in mid-air. She appeared to be telekinetic. The girl next to her seemed to be telekinetic, too, because she took over the job of floating the blocks back onto the ground.

"SON OF A BICTH!" screamed Neo. "HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?"

The girls did not answer.

"Okay, fine!" snapped Neo. "Be that way! Don't tell me! I mean, it's not even that hard to figure out how to do it! I can do it, too! Watch!"

He grabbed one of the blocks, and thought as hard as he could.

"Come...on...stupid...block...fly!"

But the block stayed still. Neo groaned, and through the block to the ground.

"Stupid block...kill it in it's sleep..."
He looked over and saw another telekinetic child. He was holding a spoon. He stared at the spoon with great concentration, and the spoon seemed to twist and bend and turn itself into strange positions, without it even being touched. The boy saw that Neo was watching him. He handed Neo a normal spoon.

"Do not try to bend the spoon," said the boy. "That is impossible. Only try to realise the truth—there is no spoon."
"There is no spoon?"
"There is no spoon."
"Yes, there is, I'm holding it in my hand, right now."
"No, you only think there is a spoon. It is a Matrix spoon, not a real spoon. So, in essence, there is no spoon."
"Oh, right. One of those 'the-world-not-being-real' things. Gotcha."

"Okay, now that you know that there's no spoon, you can bend the spoon."
"Bend the non-existent spoon?"
"Yes."
"That makes no sense at all, but...whatever."

He stared at the spoon, muttering to himself, "There is no spoon...there is no spoon..." Suddenly, the spoon began to bend by itself.

"Oh, sweet! I can bend spoons by looking at it!"

He turned to the two little girls.

"See?" he yelled at them. "This kid is nice! He tells me how to do magic stuff!"
"But the spoon doesn't exist," said the boy.

"I know!" said Neo. "That's why I can bend it!"
"But if you bent a non-existent object, then you didn't bend anything, did you?" asked the boy.

"Well...okay, now I hate you."

The young woman came into the room.

"The Oracle is ready to see you, Neo," she said. Neo got up, and the young woman led him to the apartment kitchen. Inside, a woman was standing there. She was very old, yes, but she did not look like a psychic. She looked like a kindly old grandmother. She wore a pair of over mitts, and was looking at the oven. Without even turning to see who it was, she said, "You're Neo."
"Yes, I am. How did you know that?"
"Because I'm psychic."
"Oh, yeah. Jesus..."
"What?"
"It's just...I thought you were a man."
"Most guys do," said The Oracle.

"Déjà vu!" said Neo.

She took out a cigarette, lit it, and sat down. She paused, and then said, "Your cuter than I thought. No wonder she likes you."
"Who?"
"Not too bright, though."
"Are you insulting my intelligence?"

"Umm...no?"

"Oh, okay. Just checking."
"Now, I'd ask you to sit down, but you wouldn't, anyway."
"You don't know me," he snapped.
"Oh, and don't worry about the vase."
"What vase?"
Neo looked around to find a vase. He didn't see one at first, but he sure noticed one after he accidentally knocked a vase over a few seconds later.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!"
"Don't worry about it. Now pick it up."
"No!"

"Fine! You don't get a slice of cake!"
"Aww..."

"Anyway, let me take a look at you."

She walked up to Neo and looked at his palm.
"Hmm..." she said. "I should say, 'That's interesting, but...' now, but then you would say..."
There was a long pause.

"Then, you would say, 'But what?', stupid!" finished The Oracle.

"Yeah, that sounds like me!"

"Anyway, you know what's interesting, don't you?"
"Umm...cuckoo clocks are pretty interesting."

"Um...no. Try again."
"Um...I'm not The One?"
"Bingo," said The Oracle. "You've got the talent, but not right in this lifetime."
"When, then?"
"I dunno. Maybe in a hundred years. These things are hard to predict."

"Oh..."
"Sorry, kid. Listen, here's a cookie." She handed him a cookie. "It's no cake, but I guarantee that by the time you finish eating that cookie, you'll feel better."

But Neo was already finished eating the cookie.

"I still feel bad."
"Not my problem. Now get out of my apartment."

Neo walked to the door and out of the apartment. Morpheus was waiting in the hallway. Neo was about to tell him that he wasn't The One, when Morpheus said, "What The Oracle told you is between her and you, and her and you alone."

"Oh. Well, okay, then I won't tell you that she said—"

"LALALALA! I'M NOT LISTENING! LALALALALA! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

Neo stared at him.

Later. The Matrix. A fancy restaurant. Cypher was there to meet Agent Smith, to arrange a deal.

"I believe we have arranged a deal," said Agent Smith.

"You know what?" said Cypher, as he held up a piece of steak on his fork, "When I put this piece of steak in my mouth, The Matrix will tell me that it is chewy and juicy and cooked to perfection. And, after 9 years in the real world, I've realised one thing."

There was a long pause.

"And...that is?" asked Smith.

"I dunno. I just know that I've realised something. I forget what it is."

"This is going to be a long night..."

"Oh, yeah! Ignorance is bliss!" said Cypher. He paused, and then added, "I've also realised that when I was told I was going to go into the real world that I wasn't signing up for a reality show."

"Umm...anyway..."
"Yeah, I want to be plugged back in. I don't want to remember anything, and I want to be something important...like an actor..."
"Anything you want, Mr. Reagan."

"Or maybe the president..."

"Now, I need the access codes to the Zion mainframe."
"I told you, I forgot them! But I know someone who wrote it down on a post-it note."

"Okay, now we have a deal."
"And I want a cool car!"
"Sure."
"And a hot girlfriend!"
"Whatever."

"And lots of money!"

"Fine."
"And a big, expensive house!"
"Okay, now you're getting annoying."

"And a big-screen T.V.!"

"You want me to use this gun on you?"
"If you give me a big-screen T.V., I don't care!"

BANG!

"Okay, now all I want is an ambulance."

"That, I can do."

Author's Notes: Sorry that this was so short. I didn't have much material for this chapter. More tomorrow. Please review.