"So, you're really going to try to rescue Morpheus?"
"Yes."
"Excuse me while I roll on the floor with laughter."
"Shut up."
"Honestly, Neo, this is loco. They've got Morpheus in a military-controlled building. Even if you somehow got inside, those are agents holding him. Three of them! I want Morpheus back, too, but what you are talking about is suicide."
"Suicide, or genius?" he asked slyly.
"Suicide," repeated Tank.
"I know that's what it looks like, but it's not. I can't logically explain to you why it's not. Morpheus believed something and he was ready to give his life for what he believed. I understand that now. That's why I have to go."
"Umm...that's a really stupid idea."
"That's what you think."
"No, that's what it is. This really is a stupid idea."
"I don't think so."
"Why not?"
"Because I believe in something."
"What's that?"
"I believe that I can bring him back."
Tank stared at Neo.
"Well, of course you believe you can bring him back, stupid! That's why you're going!"
"Oh, yeah. I forgot about that."
Trinity paused, and then walked over to Neo at got into the chair beside him.
"I'm coming with you," she told him.
"No, you're not."
Trinity glared at him.
"I'm not, am I?" she said in an angry tone. "Let me tell you what I believe. I believe Morpheus means more to me than he does to you. I believe that if you are serious about saving him then you are going to need my help. And, since I am the ranking officer on this ship, if you don't like it then I believe that you can go to hell, because you aren't going anywhere else. Load us up, Tank."
"Bitch..." muttered Neo under his breath.
Meanwhile, in the government building, where Morpheus was being interrogated by Agent Smith...
"You know, Morpheus," said Smith, "After my years in The Matrix with humans, I've discovered one thing—that human beings are not mammals. Because mammals find one specific habitat, and adjust to it until they can stay there the rest of their lives. But humans, on the other hand, do not live in one specific habitat. They find somewhere in their area, and multiply. And they multiply until every single natural resource in the area is consumed. The only other organism that follows this same pattern in the virus. Human beings are a virus, and the agents are the cure."
"You mean, we're the band, The Cure?" asked Agent Jones.
"No, moron, I mean the antidote, moron."
"Oh, right. Of course."
"Now, as I was saying—"
"But, aren't antidotes good?"
"What?"
"Aren't antidotes, like, good things, and, aren't agents, like, bad things?"
"Um...Jones, you're fired."
"Aww..."
Smith turned back to Morpheus.
"Anyway, as I was saying. My childhood was very sad. A boy named Tim used to steal my lunch money. Then, I took my gun and blew his brains off."
Back on the Nebucadnezzar...
Trinity and Neo needed supplies, so Tank had sent them to The Construct.
"Okay," said Tank's disembodied voice to Neo and Trinity, "You're in. What do you want me to get?"
"We're gonna need guns," said Neo. "Lots of guns."
Just then, huge racks of guns came shooting towards the two of them, and stopped with them right between two aisles.
"Ow!" cried Neo. "That thing hit my foot when it came by! Ooh!"
"You know, no one's ever done anything like this before."
"That's how I know it's gonna work."
"That's terrible logic."
"Yeah, well...so's your face!"
The Matrix. The government building. Interrogation room.
"Why isn't the serum working?" asked Agent Brown.
"Perhaps we are asking the wrong questions," said Agent Smith.
Agent Smith paused.
"Leave me with him."
Agent Brown stared at Smith.
"NOW!"
"Okay, geese, you don't have to spaz out on me!"
Brown left the room. Smith pulled up a chair and sat next to Morpheus. He pulled his ear microphone to his ear, as to not be interrupted.
"Can you hear me, Morpheus?" he asked. "I'm going to be honest with you. I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can't stand it any longer. It's the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear that I've somehow been infected by it."
Agent Smith grabbed Morpheus' head.
"I need those codes. Once Zion is destroyed, I don't have to be in The Matrix any more. I'll be free. Free as the crow flies. Hey, that would make a great name for a poem! Agent Jones, write this down! Oh, right, I fired him. Anyway, tell me the codes, or you will die."
His grip on Morpheus' head grew tighter.
Tank looked across the control room to Morpheus' body.
"Don't worry, Morpheus. They're coming."
The Matrix. Government Building. Main lobby.
Trinity and Neo had to get into the building, of course, but they knew that it would be hard to get past security with all the guns they had. So, they had brought even more guns.
Neo wore dark sunglasses and a black trench coat. He needed a trench coat to hide all of the guns he had. Trinity was behind him, carrying a dark suitcase.
Neo put his gun-filled duffel bag on the conveyor belt and walked through the metal detector. It went off, of course.
"Would you please remove any metallic items you are carrying," said the guard in a drawl that showed that he had said this speech dozens of times before. "Keys, loose change—"
Neo opened his trench coat, revealing that he was armed with dozens of knives, grenades, machine guns, handguns, and several other weapons.
"Sorry, buddy," said the security guard, "I'm not interested in buying any black market weapons."
"What? You thought I was trying to sell these weapons to you?"
"Well, yeah, with the trench coat and all..."
"No, I'm gonna kill you!"
"Oh, right."
"Right."
Neo and Trinity ran forward, taking out two handguns per hand, and began firing dozens of rounds at the guards.
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
A second wave of guards rushed in, trying to draw their guns fast enough.
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
A horde of special ops guards came rushing in with assault rifles. Neo knew that he would need more than handguns. He took out two Uzi's and, as he ran backwards to get a better view of where the guards were, opened fire on anyone he saw. He took out about 2/5 of them with the Uzi's, and Trinity finished off about another 1/5. Neo needed to take it up a notch. He threw his Uzi's to the ground and took out two M16s. He jumped to his side, and began spinning through the air to try to dodge the bullets, and he opened fire on the guards with his machine guns. About half of the remaining guards were left. He ran towards the wall, and began to run up across the wall, as if gravity was pulling the wrong way for him. He held his arms horizontally and began blasting off. He pushed off from the wall and shot down the remaining guards in mid-air.
When he landed on the ground, he and Trinity exchanged glances.
"Whoa," said Neo. "That ruled...I wonder how much money that scene costed."
"Well, it sure costed a lot of money in wasted scenery. Look at this whole set! Ruined!"
"Those stupid Wachowski brothers. I bet those set designers will quit for having so much of their time wasted."
"Dude, this movie was made five years ago, and no one quit."
"They didn't? Morons."
The two of them then headed for the elevator.
In the middle of Smith's interrogation, Agent Brown burst into the room.
"Smith, did you hear the news?"
"About Greg and Michelle hooking up?"
"Yeah, I know!"
"It's, like, totally—wow!"
"Like, I know!"
"Totally!"
"Okay, but that's not the real news."
"It isn't? Bummer!"
"The real news is—well, put on your microphone."
Smith put the microphone back in his ear, and what he heard did not please him at all.
Well, maybe a little, but that was because he was thinking of a joke he had heard earlier.
Meanwhile, back in the lobby, Neo and Trinity were in the elevator. Trinity had opened her suitcase, and it was now evident what was in the suitcase—a napalm bomb. She was hurriedly wiring it.
"I think they're trying to save Morpheus," said Agent Brown.
Back in the elevator shaft, Neo and Trinity had cut open the top of the elevator roof and had climbed into the shaft. Neo ratcheted down a clamp onto the elevator cable. Both of them locked on. He looked up the long, dark throat of the building and took a deep breath.
"There is no spoon," he murmured.
Neo whipped out his gun and pressed it to the cable, lower than they attached themselves. BLAM!
The cable snapped. The counter-weights plummeted, yanking Trinity and Neo up through the shaft as the elevator fell away beneath them, distending space, filling it with the sound of whistling metal as they sear to the top.
The elevator hit the bottom of the shaft just as the bomb exploded.
"Hey! Hey, over hear! Me, the security guard! You didn't quite kill me; you just shot my leg! If you could come and help me, I think I'll be okay! Hey! Anyone? Trench coat man? Jump-suit lady? Anyone? Aww, fine! I'll be okay by myself, as long as I can just get to the hospital across the street—aah! An exploding elevator! I am dying in a flaming doom! Aaaah!"
The sound of fire alarms rang through the building.
"It's coming from the lower level," said Agent Brown.
"They are actually attacking," said Agent Smith.
"Well, I know that! I'm not a retard!"
"I know, I was just saying—"
"...like you..."
"Hey! Did you just call me a retard?"
"No."
"Good. Now, find them and destroy them."
Neo and Trinity had got to the roof. Guards had swarmed in, but the two of them had taken care of all of them. One of the guards was hovering near the roof in a helicopter.
"I repeat, we are under attack! I need backup!" he said into the radio. Then, suddenly, Neo and Trinity watched as the pilot's body dissolved, and Agent Brown emerged.
Brown jumped out of the helicopter and began walking across the roof behind Neo.
Neo saw the expression of horror on Trinity's face. He whipped around, just in time to see Jones hold up his gun. Suddenly, everything seemed to be in slow motion. Neo paused for a second, and saw that bullets coming out of Brown's gun, coming at him at what couldn't have been more than 3 miles an hour. Neo leaned back as far as he could, further than he should have been able to, but he did not fall. He stayed horizontal, watching as the bullets slowly passed over his face. But he was too distracted to notice one of the bullets. It hit his shoulder, creating a deep gouge.
"Owie! It hurts!"
Neo began to cry.
Another bullet whizzed through the air and slashed into his thigh. Suddenly, the world went back into real time. He felt himself fall to the ground. Brown walked up in front of Neo and held up his gun to Neo.
"Only human," he said with a smile.
He did not see Trinity come up behind him and hold her .45 to his head.
"Dodge this," she muttered.
BLAM!
Agent Brown's lifeless body fell to the ground next to Neo.
Trinity leaned forward and pulled Neo up.
"How did you do that?"
"Do what?"
"The way you dodged those bullets. You moved like they did. I've never seen a human move that fast."
"Not fast enough," said Neo, as he examined his shoulder and his leg.
"Are you okay?"
"I'll be fine."
Neo looked over at the helicopter.
"Can you fly that thing?"
"Not yet."
She took out her phone.
"Operator."
"Tank, what did we tell you about answering the phone?"
Tank groaned.
"Fine. Hello?"
"Tank?"
"Um...yes?"
"I need a flight program on a B-F120."
"Comin' right up."
Tank looked through his drawers, found a small disk, and slid it into the drive.
Suddenly, just as Neo had learned kung fu in two seconds, Trinity suddenly knew how to fly a B-F120.
She opened her eyes and looked up.
"I know kung fu."
"No, you don't, you know how to fly a B-F120!"
"Oh, yeah."
"Do you know how to fly it yet?" asked Neo.
"Yes, moron! Weren't you listening?"
"Umm...no. You're on a phone. I can't hear what Tank is saying."
"Oh, right."
"YES! Now, after weeks of you doing it to me, I can finally be the one to call you a moron! Mo—!"
"Shut up!"
"Aww..."
"Let's go."
Trinity and Neo ran into the helicopter, and Trinity took off.
Back in the building, a marine sergeant ran up to Agent Smith.
"Sir! There was gunfire—we've lost communication with the roof!"
"Remain at your posts."
"But, sir, I suggest we evacuate!"
"You suggested we all eat the lightbulbs for lunch two hours ago!"
"Hey! I did not say that! Oh, wait...never mind..."
The sergeant retreated in embarrassment.
Just then, Smith heard a loud noise. He turned to his side. Right outside the window was the helicopter, the side door open, and a .50 machine gun positioned at the interrogation room.
"Oh, shit."
"See? I told you interrogation rooms shouldn't have huge windows! But did you listen? Nooooo!"
"Shut up."
Then, Neo pulled back the trigger of the gigantic gun, and hundreds or rounds blasted into the room.
BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM!Smith was the first one to fall back, and then Jones fell, his handgun still firing uselessly.
Neo looked over at Morpheus, still in the chair.
"Morpheus, get up!" yelled Neo. "Come on, stop being lazy and get up!"
Neo began to attach a rope inside the helicopter around a harness on his chest.
No one saw three marines out in the hallway dissolve into three agents.
Morpheus stared up, his eyes blazing with their normal ferocity. He stood up and snapped the handcuffs apart. He took off running towards the smashed window on the other end of the room. The three agents on the other side of the wall in the hallway opened fire. The bullets shattered through the drywall and Morpheus ran through the rain of the fire alarms. One of the bullets got lodged into Morpheus' leg, tainting the puddles of water around his with blood.
Neo's eyes narrowed as Morpheus ran towards the window.
"He's not going to make it."
Morpheus lunged through the window into the air towards the elevator. Neo saw that Morpheus was going to fall short. He lunged forward and grabbed onto Morpheus just as he was about to fall to the ground. Neo was now left hanging by the rope attached to the harness, trying to keep up Morpheus.
"Gotcha!" he yelled.
Back on the Nebucadnezzar, Tank stared at the screen."Amazing..." he said. "A pop-up blocker for $2! Wow! Okay, back to the Matrix screen. Wow! Neo's gotta be the one! But, how?"
Back in The Matrix, Trinity was already flying the helicopter away from the government building.
Smith got up, took out his handgun, and began firing. He only managed to hit the helicopter's window. And a window across the street.
"AAAH! I'VE BEEN SHOT BY A BULLET FROM ACROSS THE STREET AND NOW I'M FALLING OUT OF MY WINDOW AND PLUMMETING TOWARDS THE STREET!"
WHUMP!"Find them and take them out!" commanded Smith.
Trinity landed the helicopter a few blocks away. Neo, Trinity and Morpheus got onto the roof.
"Morpheus!" cried Trinity as she saw him again.
"Yo!"
"Sup, G-Homey?"
"So, you believe that Neo's The One, now, Trinity?"
"But, Morpheus, The Oracle said that I wasn't The One!"
"She only said what you needed to hear. She said that you weren't The One, so that you would come to try to save me, where you would discover that you were The One."
"Oh! Reverse psychology, eh?"
"Yeah."
"Sweet!"
Tank heard the phone ring.
"Op—I mean, hello."
"Tank."
"Hey, Morpheus! Welcome back!"
"Thanks."
"You're welcome."
"Thanks for saying you're welcome!"
"You're welcome for saying your welcome for saying thank you!"
"Thank you for—okay, this is getting annoying. I need an exit."
"Already got one. The subway station at State and Balbo."
"Gotcha."
"Bye."
There was a long pause.
"Hang up."
"No, you hang up!"
"No, you!"
"No, you!"
"No, you!"
"No, y—hey, he hung up on me!"
Author's Notes: Tomorrow, read Chapter 9. Today, review Chapter 8.