Thanks to my reviewers: Male-chan, Shedraconis, Undying at Midsummer, Munku-JGSPTV, Mandabella, MagicFairyDuster and Bea.

A/N: I knew this story was going to confuse people, but I say it again: It really is a Draco/Hermione story. You'll see.

Chapter three

Draco groaned as he woke up with his face buried in his pillow. As he became conscious of his surroundings, he also became aware that he was making little thrusting movements into the mattress. Apparently during his sleep, he had been trying to relieve his morning erection by rubbing it against his bedclothes. Well, now he was awake and could afford to give it his full attention. With a yawn, he turned himself unto his back and let his hand slide under his pyjama bottoms to grab his hardened shaft. He groaned in relief as he gave himself a hard squeeze. With his other hand, he reached inside the drawer of his nightstand and grabbed a tube of lubricant. He didn't really need it, but using some lube just felt better than having his cock coming in direct contact with his dry and calloused hands. He pulled off his pants, threw them off the bed and went to sit upright. He squirted a bit of lubricant on his hands and rubbed them together. Then he reached for his engorged cock and a hiss escaped his lips as he coated himself with the slick fluid. He laid himself back upon the bed and started jacking himself off. Draco really didn't want to draw this out to long. Sometimes he liked to take his time, play with himself and stimulate several of his other erogenous zones, like rubbing his nipples or kneading his testicles. He had also fingered himself a couple of times, but that just forced him into doing more gymnastic positions than he cared for doing on a daily basis. Especially in the morning.

No, now he just wanted release.

A knot was forming in his underbelly as he sped up his movements. He thrust his hips upward into his hands, desperately seeking for release. Just a couple more... Just one more. One thrust... Two thrusts... Three...

Draco arced his back as the tension in his belly suddenly snapped and waves of energy jolted throughout his body. He just loved orgasms. They made him forget things.

After the waves of orgasm had dimmed down, Draco reached for his wand and cleared his hand and stomach of his semen. He was about to get up and take a shower when he noticed that something was off.

"What the hell?"

Draco's day had royally begun to suck!

That morning Draco had woken up feeling so damn horny that he felt like he could shag anyone and anything in sight. Mind you, he was a normal healthy teenage male so he knew quite a bit about raging hormones. But he also knew that this wasn't normal. On any normal day he would wank once or twice, which he supposed was rather a lot in comparison to his other peer. But with being Head Boy, he just needed to relieve his stress more than others do. Still, once or twice (or more depending on the day he was having or the spare time he had) wasn't anything extraordinary.

But now...

Draco had locked himself into his bedroom and had wanked and wanked and wanked... Little over a minute after receiving his orgasm he would find himself aroused again. He had just kept on wanking until everything faded to black and he had lost consciousness from exhaustion. Needless to say, when he found himself waking up sporting yet another rock hard erection he screamed his throat sore in agony.

Quite ironic really. This way he could have been the ultimate shagging toy for women. He could go on and on without need to recover.

But no.

That was the other problem.

He didn't want any women!

And the odd thing was that he really didn't want any men either. The mere thought of even kissing a guy disgusted him.

But his body seemed to think otherwise.

Heck, he had even kissed Granger to try to prove differently. It might have been Granger, but he still had expected to feel something. She had lips and she had breasts, what more did he need?

Apparently she was missing a penis, since that seemed to be the only thing Draco was reacting to these days.

There hadn't even been a spark.

Nothing.

Zilch.

So now what? Was he basically going to have to be walking around with a constant erection and with no chance of relieving it? Moreover, how was he supposed to 'mate' is the mere thought of shagging a woman grossed him out?

That bloody Karma had finally caught up with him.

So now he was in Potions class (again) brewing a potion with Zabini (again) having put a big honking concealing charm on his pants so others wouldn't notice the prominent bulge he was sporting. Draco did notice it though. He constantly had to fight the urge to start humping the desk. He still couldn't help himself not to 'accidentally' rub himself against the edge of the desk as he bend over to grab another ingredient or what not to find some relief.

Quidditch.

He was going to think about Quidditch! Tomorrow was the big match against Gryffindor and that was what he was going to focus on. He wasn't going to let his hormones get the best of him. He was going to beat Potter once and for all. This wasn't just a game of Quidditch; it was about honour. Draco glanced upwards and glared at the back of Potter's head, whose owner sat in front of him.

Doesn't he ever comb his hair?

You'd think the 'saviour of the Wizarding World' would at least care about his physical appearance. He's supposed to defeat Voldemort, but he can't even win a battle with his own mop of hair?

What kind of PR is that?

Potter's hair did have nice structure though. Nice and thick jet-black hair that just made you want to run your fingers through it. Draco watched as Potter reached over to grab a spoon. He could see the muscles of his back ripple as he leaned over the desk. If Draco hadn't been absolutely enthralled, he would have smacked himself over the head for practically drooling over the Gryffindor Golden Boy.

"Malfoy, are you okay?"

"I'm fine" Draco answered his Potions partner in a manner that he hoped was casual after suddenly snapping out of his reverie.

"Are you sure?" Blaise asked in concern. "You seem a bit... flushed. Are you running a fever?"

Next thing Draco knew was Zabini placing the palm of his hand against his forehead to feel his temperature.

Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!

The feel of Zabini's hand against his skin sent shivers throughout his body. He just wanted to compress himself against the other boy's body and snog him senseless (he'd say 'shag', but he didn't really know how to go about that with a guy. And quite frankly, he really didn't want to know). Draco was struggling for breath when Blaise removed his hand and thoughtfully looked at him.

"I think you should see Madame Pomfrey" Blaise said. "Perhaps you have the flue."

"No, I'm fine. I-"

"You're Quidditch Captain!" Blaise drawled. "We need you tomorrow when we play Gryffindor. Healthy!"

"But-" Draco protested.

"Sir, permission to take Malfoy to the Hospital Wing?" Zabini shouted through the class, having all eyes suddenly raking towards Draco.

"Off course" Snape answered while he didn't even bother looking up from his notes.

Fuck! Draco really found it innerving to have everyone staring at him while he was as horny as a Hippogriff on heat. And you'd think that that would have the same effect as a bucket of ice water, yet it strangely didn't turn him off. If not the opposite.

Perhaps it wasn't such a bad idea to get out of the classroom after all.

"I can do it myself," he drawled at Blaise as he gathered his things and left the classroom, not noticing the set of brown eyes of a certain Head Girl following him from the front of the classroom with an interested frown.

After Draco had shut the doors to the classroom and had run to the other side of the corridor, he dropped his things and leaned against the wall. When he noticed that no one was about, he went to cup his erection through his pants. He was painfully hard and really couldn't go any further without relief. After only three superficial rubs through his pants Draco climaxed violently while biting his lip, so he wouldn't scream out in relief.

After the shudders of orgasm had gradually dimmed down Draco just wanted to cry out in frustration. Dammit, he had been masturbating in the middle of the dungeon because he was too horny to move after being in close contact to men.

MEN!

This whole situation was so messed up that he wanted to beat himself up for being such a freak.

Malfoy was acting odd, Hermione mused as she was putting the final additions on her potion.

Well, odder than usual anyway.

He seemed rather distracted lately and had even left Potions under the pretence of being ill. Hermione actually thought he was more ill in the head than anything else. There was nothing sane about way he had barged into their common room last night. It looked as if he had taken a shower with his clothes on after he had outrun the Grim Reaper.

Not to mention the kiss.

When Hermione had come into the common room to retrieve one of her books, she definitely had not expected that to happen.

Malfoy had kissed her.

Malfoy!

Her!

Her first instinct had been to scream 'EW! EW! EW!' and to go brush her teeth, but oddly enough she didn't feel like doing such a thing. He was a freakishly good kisser.

"But it was Malfoy!" she thought in dismay as she rasped her radishes rather roughly. "I mean: EW! It's just... ew!"

No, it still didn't feel 'ew'.

She didn't know what had gotten into Malfoy, but apparently it had had little to do with her, seeing as he practically had forgotten that she was there after he had released her lips. Now she actually felt a little embarrassed, because the whole time while he had been kissing her she had merely been gawking.

Well, what did he expect? Catching her off guard like that!

But still, it had been a damn good kiss and she rather had wanted to be a part of it. It had been over two years since her last kiss and even then, it hadn't been very sizzling. She had shared her first kiss with Victor before he had gone back to Bulgaria and she hadn't kissed anyone since. And even then she had only done it because she was curious about what kissing felt like.

Comparing that kiss to the one she had shared with Malfoy, Hermione had concluded that her kiss with Victor could at most be measured up to 'two birds pecking each other'.

Damn that Malfoy and his talented lips!

If only it hadn't been him. If only he hadn't been Head Boy! She didn't like living with him, she didn't like working with him and she didn't like the fact that he apparently saw her as some sort of kissing-toy. He was still as snotty as the day she had met him. She also knew that he actively disliked her, so for the life of her she couldn't understand why he would want to kiss her. If only she could just black out the information on who it was that had given her that titillating kiss, she might not have to block the entire kiss out of her memory.

Throwing the baby away with the bathwater that is.

No, she also didn't want him to kiss him again. He might be a good kisser, but he was still a Malfoy, a Slytherin and a stupid prat. Just... Ew!

"No, still not 'ew'" she sighed as she threw the radishes in her boiling cauldron.

"Damn!" Ginny exclaimed as she dropped her fork with a clatter.

"What is it?" Hermione asked.

"Look at Malfoy" Ginny said breathlessly, nodding in the direction of the Slytherin strutting through the Great Hall towards his seat at the lunch table.

"What about him?" Hermione asked with a frown.

"He's gorgeous" Ginny replied anxiously, a blush creeping unto her cheeks.

Hermione gaped at her friend in disbelief. Never before had Ginny uttered a single positive comment about Malfoy or his appearance. Granted, it wasn't uncommon for Hermione to hear another girl swooning over Draco Malfoy. He was one of the more attractive sort of the male species and had a grace of movement many girls didn't even have. Nevertheless, it was definitely an uncommon thing for Ginny to say such a thing, so Hermione found it quite odd that her friend was suddenly blushing madly at the sight of the snotty Slytherin in a manner that clearly exhibited signs of arousal.

Especially since Ginny was gay.

Draco was so screwed.

During lunch, he had found himself being summoned to Snape's office. Apparently the greasy bugger had been checking up on him to see if he had actually gone to see the medi-witch.

Which he hadn't.

Could you imagine that consultation?

'You see, lately I seem to be having some homosexual tendencies that get me so frisky I find myself masturbating in public places and ejaculating inside my pants. Do you have a pill for that by any chance?'

Draco so hadn't felt up for that.

So now, he had to answer to Snape.

As his Head of house was rambling on and on about the importance of tomorrow's match and how necessary it was for Draco to be in good health, Draco couldn't help but take notice to something else.

Snape wasn't that ugly.

He had the whole 'dark, tall and handsome'-look going on, which was very appealing. If he would just take a shower once in a while he'd actually be shaggable. This made Draco wonder if the gossip would be true about Snape still being a virgin. Somehow, he suddenly doubted that. As he was listening to the man's rambling, Draco couldn't help but to become absolutely enthralled by the sound of his voice. Draco wondered if Snape could actually bring a person to orgasm just by making him or her listen to him.

"I can bottle fame!"

"What?" Draco asked with a frown, snapping out of his reverie. Apparently he had missed something.

"I can bottle fame, brew glory and put a stopper in death" Snape said in that trademark silky voice of his. Draco noticed that Snape suddenly had a strange gleam in his eyes. Almost predatorily. And the fact that he had leaned himself over Draco's chair, their faces only being inches apart, made it Draco feel like some sort of trapped animal.

"Excuse me?" Draco asked in a wavering tone of voice.

Snape didn't immediately answer. Draco felt the professor's eyes raking over every inch of his face. It was as if Snape was mapping him out. Draco couldn't help but wonder warily on what he was mapping him out for. Next Snape leaned in and started whispering in Draco's ear.

"I can concoct potions that would save your beauty for all eternity, would defy old age and be saved from the decay of death" he finally answered in a tone of voice that was so sexy it should be illegal.

"O-kay" Draco said before he suddenly felt something wet enveloping his ear. Draco didn't have to think long before realising that it was Snape's tongue. Draco yelped and shoved his Head of house off him.

"I should go... practise Quidditch... match... tomorrow" Draco stammered while stumbling towards the door in a highly un-Malfoyish manner.

He spurted out of the office with his tail between his legs.

And oddly enough, this wasn't only a figure of speech.

"Oi, Malfoy! Watch where you're going!" Weasley shouted.

In his haste to get out of Snape's office Draco had collided with something.

Something that was a live human being.

Something that was The Boy Who Lived.

And now he found himself horizontally on top of said Boy Who Lived.

And it felt rather nice actually.

"Sorry" Draco said as he scrambled himself off the other boy.

If Draco hadn't been so traumatised about his encounter with Snape, he might have noticed that he had just apologised to the Gryffindor Golden Boy.

He might also have noticed the suspicious frown Hermione Granger gave him as he was running down the corridor.

And he might also have noticed the look of both shock, wonder and arousal a set of emerald eyes were burning into his back as he rounded a corner.

Or a couple of inches lower than his back, if you are a nitpicker and want to be exact.

End of chapter three

Disclaimer: The line about the 'two birds pecking each other' is a reference to an episode from 'The Gilmore Girls'.