Chapter 13

Draco was still in the prefect's compartment, mesmerized into thought. Everyone had left, so he had the time and opportunity to do just that.

He didn't even know why he was sulking so badly.

So he couldn't get Granger.

Big deal.

'Oh no, I'm not getting the opportunity to get smothered into a suffocating relationship with a Gryffindor'.

Just the word by itself: 'Relationship'.

It sounded like a disease.

'I'm suffering from relationship'.

Yes, Draco was relieved not to be suffering from that. He shouldn't be sulking. He should be celebrating!

He would.

If he wasn't suffering from heartache instead.

Draco groaned and dropped his face in his hands to sulk some more.

Then suddenly the door reopened. Draco was about to tell the intruder to sod off, until he saw who it was. Hermione came in without saying a word and closed the door behind her. She went to sit opposite from Draco and looked him straight in the eye. Draco fought the urge to look away. Her gaze was piercing his mind, but he wasn't going to recoil and avert is eyes in a gesture of weakness. He felt weak enough as it was. All because of her.

"Do you still feel the same way as you did at the dance?" Hermione asked coldly.

"Yes" Draco answered in truth, although suspiciously. The girl could go from zero to flaming fury in 0,2 seconds, so Draco really wanted to keep on his toes while he was alone with her in a train compartment.

"Prove it" Hermione said, reached into her bag and put an empty cup unto the table between them. She filled the glass with water and then added three drops of a bluish liquid, which dissolved immediately.

Draco frowned in question.

"It's Veritaserium" Hermione explained as she leaned back into her seat and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "The ball is in your court."

Draco ogled the substance with suspicion.

Truth potion. How very Slytherin of her.

This was tricky.

He wasn't very keen on digesting a potion concerted by someone who was infuriated with him. His father had always told him: 'Never digest something offered to you by an enemy'. Draco could see the logic in that, but he also was very aware that Hermione was giving his a window in. If letting her know what he was thinking could get him back into her good book, then he was just going to let her know. He reckoned that he knew her enough to know that she wouldn't be trying to poison him. This was his chance, so he decided to grab it with both hands.

Draco reached for the glass, brought it to his mouth and emptied it in one go.

Hermione swallowed nervously as she watched him emptying the glass. O gods, this was it. The moment of truth. She had thought that it would have taken a miracle to get Malfoy to swallow the potion. Hermione hadn't even truly thought about what to do if he did. Right now, she had the power to turn Draco Malfoy inside out.

When Malfoy had put the glass back down, Hermione decided to just go ahead and ask what was first on her mind.

"Last month, why did you do what you did? Coming on to me" Hermione asked tentatively.

Draco sighed.

"I had lost control and I wanted it back," he said. "I figured that that was the best way to go about it."

Hermione nodded, knowing that he had admitted to that before.

"But why me?" she asked. "I know you could smell my... affection for you. But lots of other girls fancy you too."

"Because conquering you means something," he explained. "It's obvious that you're trying to live up to so many conflicting desires, morals and expectations that you're hesitant to act on any them. You were a challenge. And you were the person who had control over me for a month, so I saw my window to inflict some payback."

Hermione noted that Draco didn't even seem like the information was forced out of him. It was as if they were having a normal conversation. A normal conversation with way too much truth telling. Up until now, Hermione really didn't like what she was hearing. She felt stupid for admitting it, but when she had entered the carriage with Ginny's Veritaserium; her teenage-girl-dreams had kicked in overdrive. She had just wanted to hear that Draco was totally smitten with her; that this whole thing was just one big misunderstanding and that he lusted after her as much as she did after him.

But no, she had been a challenge.

Stupid girly fantasies!

Hermione swallowed the lump in her throat and went to her next question.

"Was ignoring me part of that same plan?" Hermione asked. "To hurt me so you could feel in control?"

"No" Draco replied while fidgeting uncomfortably in his seat. He didn't like being this open. It felt unnatural! Yet he couldn't stop the thoughts from tumbling out of his mouth. It was as if he was vomiting words.

"I realised that I shouldn't have done what I did," he continued. "My motivations were out of place. I felt guilty about it and that scared me."

"How so?" Hermione asked. She was very much aware that Draco was very uncomfortable in talking so openly about all this, and that thought gave her strength. She was the one in control here, not the other way around as it had felt for far too long.

"I've never felt guilty for doing anything," Draco explained while nervously running his fingers through his hair in an act of embarrassment. "It made me realise that I actually cared about how you felt. That scared me even more, because I never cared about anyone before. And I stayed away from you because I hate being scared, being weak. But the longer I stayed away the more I hurt you and the more guilty I felt. An error in judgement on my account."

"So you didn't stay away from me because I put you off during... the thing?" she asked. Hermione felt rather silly for asking this, but she still wanted to know.

"No" Draco answered. "You were much more responsive than Pansy ever was. It boosts a male's ego."

Hermione couldn't help but release a breath in relief. But then she frowned.

"Draco... how many girls have you... pleasured before me?" she asked suspiciously. He could have said 'then anyone I've been with'. Instead, he just said 'Pansy'.

"Just one" Draco said.

Hermiones jaw dropped in astonishment. Only one? What about all those rumours about the vast amount of notches on Draco Malfoy's bedpost? Now there was a revelation!

"Why did you kiss me at the dance?" she asked, changing the subject back to the issue at hand.

"It seemed the right thing to do at the time," Draco explained. "I'm not very good at expressing myself about that sort of stuff. At least when I'm not under Veritaserium."

"What 'stuff'?" Hermione asked.

"Affection, caring, loving... that stuff."

If it wasn't he himself saying these things, Draco would have had the urge to stick his finger down his throat and make a gagging noise. Could he be any sappier? This was why he was a man of actions and not words; so claptrap like this wouldn't start spilling out of this mouth.

Hermione's eyes widened. 'Loving'? Where did that come from? They just went from 'being a challenge' to genuine words of affection.

"Draco, how do you feel about me?"

"Nauseous" Draco replied.

"What?" Hermione asked.

"I feel so much that it makes me nauseous. Anger, resentment, affection, concern, arousal, yearning, admiration,..."

"Okay okay" Hermione interrupted. "It's just... what do you want us to be regarding each other? Do you want us to start going out to see what happens? Or do you want us to be 'friends with benefits' or-?"

"Lovers" he replied.

Hermione bit her lip at the sound of him saying that word. Just hearing him say that made her nipples harden. Gods, she was already starting to crack.

"So, when you came on to me it was solely to boost your male ego" Hermione said, recapitulating. "But then you did feel something and you kept away from me because it scared you. And now you've stopped feeling scared and you want us to become an item?"

"Yes" Draco answered.

"Would you ever intentionally hurt me again?" Hermione asked.

"No, I wouldn't" Draco said in earnest. "Not intentionally anyway. I can't promise you otherwise, because I do seem to do a lot of stupid things without meaning to."

Hermione nodded in understanding. She bit her lip in hesitation for asking her next question.

"Malfoy, I just... what do you see in me?" she asked sceptically.

"You're intelligent, clever and brave," he answered. "You don't let people walk over you yet you know how to keep them on your good side unless you don't want them to. You don't exploit people while they're weak, even though you could. You're stunning, yet you don't seem to be aware of it. You have an opinion about just about every single topic in the world and you're smart enough to actually sell it to someone else. I like the way your eyes sparkle when you're arguing about something or when you're coming apart during orgasm. Most might think you are rather prim and detached, but in fact you've got more passion and zest in your little pinkie then most people in their entire bodies; they're just too blind to see it."

Draco blinked for a moment in astonishment at hearing his own words. Did he actually just say all that?

Off course he did, because it was true.

Hermione was breathing heavily and was trying very hard not to whimper. That were just about the most beautiful things anyone has ever said about her. If it had been in any other situation, she would have told him to stuff a sock in it. But now he was under Veritaserium and Hermione knew that he actually meant it, that he didn't just say those things because he wanted something of her.

"What about the war?" she asked, re-gathering her wits. "Are you still siding with Voldemort?"

"No" Draco said. "I don't want to suffer the same fate my father did. I don't care much about who wins or loses. Whatever the outcome, I'll adapt."

Hermione smiled in relief, knowing that that was the best she could have hoped for.

Just then, she realised that she had no more questions to ask him. Well, except for one.

"Malfoy, I still have one thing I want to know. It isn't a question, but you still can't say it if you don't mean it."

Draco nodded.

"I want you to say that you're sorry," Hermione said simply.

Draco looked at her knowingly. He knew that she had already known he was sorry about what he had done, but girls always seemed to like having these things spelled out for them. Not that he minded; she deserved an apology.

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely.

Draco still was going to have to go searching the floors for his pride, because it seemed to have rolled even further away from him. He had apologised, had been slapped, had been jelled at, had been rejected, had digested Veritaserium, had admitted to a whole lot of embarrassing feelings and now had apologised... again.

He wasn't even in a relationship and he was already whipped.

Draco mused that perhaps he was secretly into bondage, because being whipped didn't feel al that bad.

Hermione released a breath. It was odd that those three simple words could make such big of a difference. She felt... released.

Then she realised that she had just forgiven him.

When did that happen?

Suddenly she was struck with nervousness, realising that there was nothing standing between her and Malfoy becoming an item. She wanted it and she knew he wanted it. She had hoped this would happen, but she hadn't truly expected it.

How does one go about this?

There really should be a book about this sort of thing.

When suddenly snapping out of her moment of indecisiveness, she refilled the empty cup with water, put in the Veritaserium and drank it herself under Draco's surprised gaze.

"Your turn" she said determinedly, waiting for Draco to respond.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

End of chapter 13

A/N: Several people have asked me about what will happen when May arrives again. No worries, that topic shall be addressed... just not now. :-)

Thanks for reviewing!

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Queen of Serpents: Jeez, I can understand why you would cry over that. Actually, my first fanfic got deleted because of the explicit content. It took me a while to gather the nerve to write something again. Thank god for I say. And I can see the humour in Ron kissing Draco, but... it's just... the thought! :-)

Undying at Midsummer: Thanks for your review for "mirror, mirror on the wall...". You know, originally I had been thinking of writing a scene with McGonagall in it, but that idea got dismissed early on... for obvious reasons. :-) And I know it's a bit flawed, but it was written before I really knew what I was doing. I might rewrite it one of these days though.

Savvyfairy: Aaaaarg! Whine? WHINE? That's idiotic mistake number three. Although, the sentence still makes sense in a way. :-)

Mandabella: Oh, good question. I suppose I sort of imagine them as being my own age, with slightly younger facial features. But then again, I'm 20 (21 in December, shoot me!) and the characters are 17-18 years old, which isn't all that big of a difference. At 17, a person is fully grown and looks pretty much like an adult. I always tend to put the characters at least in their 7th year, when they wouldn't really qualify as 'kids' anymore, because otherwise it would be... weird.

o0-ireth-0o: Yep, I have MSN. My e-mail address is in my profile, feel free to insert it in. :-)

Munku-JGSPTV: It's quite obvious that Hermione and Ron will become an item in the books and I will enjoy to see it happen (I still can't believe that lots of people still don't see it!). But Draco/Hermione is just so much fun to write about because they're just so wrong for each other... and in other ways so right.

Billys lil Riot Girl: Grows womanly parts? ROFL! Aw, I just missed a really good plot-line didn't I? ;-)

Gr8Sk8er: Ginny's gay-ness has been mentioned before (Chapter three, Scene four), when Hermione found it odd that Ginny had said that Draco looked gorgeous because of the fact that she's attracted to girls. And I went to see 'Collateral'. It was good. I haven't heard from Napoleon Dynamite before. But the again, we get most movies extremely late in the cinema's so that's not too surprising.