A/N: The fact that's its diary style was inspired by the very lovely Cassandra Claire. I borrowed a line from DV2 by Cassie Claire also: Draco's description of his hangover. Originally said by Harry but no matter. Took me about an hour to write this. Weight/butterbeer thing is from Bridget Jones' Diary by Helen Fielding - go read it!!
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20th September.
10am.
Wah. Am fat and ugly. Father says only the best Seekers weigh under 140lbs. Will go on diet to lose weight. Must achieve aerodynamic perfection.

Weight: 148lbs (woe), Butterbeer: 2, sweets: 2 sugar Quills (Vanilla, yummy!) Minutes in front of mirror: 24 (good)

10:07am.
Blaise said I am positively beautiful however much I weigh. Yay. Am no longer depressed. Just fat and pretty.

12pm.
Have restricted self to only small salad for lunch as am on Josef Wronski diet.

2pm.
Hurrah. Spent CoMC taunting Weasel and the Mudblood. Potter was missing – Yay!

5pm.
Am only eating high-energy food (Anti-Cellulite Raw Food Diet) as have Quidditch practice later this evening.

5:03.
Will suggest to Snape I be made Captain next year.

8pm.
Have showered and re-styled hair 5 times. Must ask Pansy about new styling charm.

8:08pm.
This will have to do. Note to self – get new mirror as current one has run out of compliments so is recycling old ones. Tsk tsk. 3rd one this year!

21st September.
Weight: 146lbs (not far to go), Butterbeer: 5 (It was a Hogsmeade visit!!), Sweets: half a Fizzing Whizbee (does not count as sweet was not whole), Minutes in front of mirror: 10 (perfection came early today)

9:25am.
Hair will not lie flat. Maybe this is how Potter feels everyday. I almost feel pity. ALMOST.

9:34am.
Am now happy with hair.

9:35am.
What will I wear?

9:46am.
Am now pretty enough to leave the room and grace the halls of Hogwarts. Time left for a once over in the mirror.

9:49am.
Ok I really am leaving now. I'll be late.

10am.
Am in Hogsmeade with Pansy, Millicent, Blaise, Theo, Crabbe and Goyle. Wish we planned what to do in advance. Girls have now gone to Honeydukes for a present. Am tempted to follow them.

10:10am.
Now sat drinking Butterbeer. Weasel's sister coming along nicely. So is Mudblood but dodgy bloodline makes face irrelevant. Potter no longer missing. Blaise choked and scuttered off at sight of Potter so suspect date did not go as planned.

12pm.
Yum. Big fat juicy sausages for lunch. Am now on Atkins diet.

2pm.
I feel sick. Blaming Atkins for that so am switching to Roderick Plumpton diet ASAP.

3pm.
Woo. I have mail. Am v. popular.

3:05pm.
What does Granger want with me?

3:06pm.
Sex? squicks self

3:07pm.
re-reads letter Ah no, just some help. Oh dear.

3:08pm.
Must go, Blaise has got some rum, and wants to get v.v. drunk with me. Am off to drown sorrows.

7:56pm.
Is pisssshhhhhhed. Wooooooo. Haha Blaise was just sick on me.

8:18pm.
I need to lie down.

10pm. (Several Sobering charms later..)
Pansy: Oh, you're awake. How are you?
Me: I'm in bed with my shoes on and I feel as if someone took a lemon wedge, taped it to a two-ton weight, and dropped it on my head. Other than that, I'm fine.
Pansy: sniggers
Me: Frowns