Playing God

Chapter 1- Going Back

Disclaimer: If I owned Degrassi, do you think I would be living in the United States? That would be a negative.

-------------------------------------------

She stood outside his door for around ten minutes. She couldn't decide whether to ring his doorbell or not. After what happened at school... she didn't know what to do. She didn't know where to turn. She was hopelessly lost in everything that was going on. She had left and ended up at his door. Where to go from there she didn't know. Her thoughts clouded her brain. She couldn't think. She just needed to go home and sleep.

As she turned away to walk home the door opened. "Emma, hey.." Sean Cameron was standing inside in jeans and a tee. "What are you doing here?"

What was she doing here? She couldn't even answer that question herself. "I..." she started her sentence but she didn't know what else to say. "I don't know.. I just kind of ended up here.."

"Look, I know everything that happened at school was hard and all so I'm here if you want to talk." The truth was he didn't know what he would say to her. He hadn't known what to say to her since last year. He and Ellie had broken up. The whole living together thing had just torn them apart. What did he think he was expecting when he asked her to move in? A/N: Sean and Ellie didn't really break up in the show, this is just something I added to make my plot work, sorry for any confusion!

"I'd like that." Emma smiled and walked inside. She sat on the couch and put a pillow on her lap. "Sean, what you did yester-"

"Don't worry about it," he cut her off.

"No, I just wanted to say thanks." She got up to leave but he didn't want her to go yet. Things were quite awkward but he wanted things to go back to normal.

"No... stay... please.."

"Sean, you know we have nothing left to say to each other. You know we are through... over... what more could we possible say?"

The words hit him hard. What were they suppose to say?

"Jimmy's doing better?" it was more of a question, waiting for approval of conversation from Emma.

"I heard." Tears were streaming down her face. Yeah, she had heard. She had also been held at gunpoint.

Sean walked over to her and held her as she sobbed into his shirt. "It's ok," he whispered.

"Sean, why did you save me like that?"

"Because I still care," he let the words slip out like it was nothing.

"What?" She started to pull away.

There was no turning back from it now. "Emma, I still care about you, you know that."

"No, they way you treated me.. I thought you literally hated me."

"I could never hate you."

"I hated you."

"Really now?"

"For a while..."

"Thanks for the love, Em."

"Anytime, Sean." She laughed for the first time since it happened.

"I love it when you laugh." He looked down at her at. It was like that time at her mom's wedding when they danced. He touched his forehead down to hers. She looked up and him and he saw her answer in her eyes. He leaned in, his lips touching hers, leading to another kiss.

-------------------------------------------

School was out for at least another three weeks. Emma had visited Jimmy in the hospital with Paige and Hazel. They said he should wake up any day now. She was hearing should a lot. Snake should be off his chemo soon... Her mom should be going back to the salon anytime now... should had lost it's meaning. Just like Sean probably thought they should get back together. No, that's not what she wanted. That kiss was a mistake. Then why did you let it go on for over an hour? It was a mistake. Nothing more. She hadn't felt anything. Then why do you keep thinking about it? She forced herself to focus on other matters. Matters that actually didn't matter, like walking down to The Dot to get a frap.

As she walked her thoughts wandered. They wandered to school, Jimmy, Rick, Toby, how everything was going to change once they had to go back. Her mind wandered to the thought that what would have happened if Sean hadn't been there. Would Toby do the same thing for her? She doubted it. What was she to Toby? He had been acting weird every since they hugged in front of the school. Whatever. She walked into the Dot and ordered, only to find herself walking back out to keep walking. She stopped at the park and sat on a swing. As she pushed her body back and forth with her foot she let her mind rest off all those thoughts.

"Hey," Sean came out of nowhere. She didn't say anything. She didn't ever look up at him. She didn't really want to talk to him. She wasn't ready to talk to him.

"Are you ok?" he asked her like he cared. But she knew he didn't. Did he care last year? No. Was that going to change? No. Even if he had said he cared, it was lie. Emma just shook her head from side to side.

"Want to talk?" Again, she shook her head. No she didn't need to talk to Sean. Sean hadn't of wanted to talk last year so she sure as hell didn't want to talk to him now. But you talked to him yesterday. It was true, she had talked to him yesterday, willingly too. Yesterday I was an emotional wreck. But she wasn't anymore, she had gotten a hold on herself through the night.

"You know what Sean, I don't need to talk to you. I don't need you to save me. I don't need you." She got up and started home.

"Emma, what is up with you? You wouldn't talk to me at all last year and then you come to my house like everything is fine. Then we kiss and suddenly everything is back to the way it was. With you not talking to me and all! I know you still love me!" Oops. Did he just say love?

"Love? I NEVER loved you. And YOU were the one who didn't want to talk, remember?" She continued to walk without looking back. But when he didn't say anything she started to worry. She didn't let the worry get to far though, she was too upset.

"You're an idiot, Sean. How could you think she was in love with you?" He talked quietly to himself as he took Emma's place on the swing. Because you're still in love with her.

-------------------------------------------

Three weeks had gone by. She hadn't seen Sean since the park incident. She had just gotten ready for school. She looked in her full length mirror. Her tan legs looked great with her new frilly white skirt. Her pink top went well with it too. She smiled at her new buys and grabbed her bag. She walked out the door without saying goodbye to her mom because she was still sleeping. Snake was already at the school. Her pink high heeled flip flops smacked to her feet as she walked, making that sound. As she turned the corner to the school, she realized she hadn't really talked to anyone for those last three weeks. How was Jimmy doing? That question was answered as she walked up the steps and saw Jimmy standing inside. She ran up the steps, ran through the doors, up to Jimmy and gave him a huge hug.

"JIMMY! When did you get out?"

"A few days ago, but I wanted to come back to school right away so people wouldn't worry." Emma still hadn't let go. They had become pretty good friends when Emma started to hang out with Paige.

"Glad you're back." She smiled.

"Me too."

"And so are all of us." Paige walked up behind them. "As for Spinner, officially not talking to him until he makes some major apologies." She smiled, although Emma knew it wasn't real, Paige still loved Spinner even though he had been a total jerk.

"Well I have to go talk to Mr. Armstrong, see you girls later!"

"Bye Jimmy!" They said in unison.

Emma and Paige walked down the hallways catching up. "So, you and Sean?" Paige asked.

"Sean.... I don't know... he just..."

"Come on, Emma, we both know you aren't over him."

"Well," she was just about to say that he HAD changed until she looked over and saw him back with Jay and his lame group of friend, "he hasn't changed one bit."

-------------------------------------------

A/N: Hope you liked that chapter. Next chapter will be up before next week. R/R! K, thanks!