Best Served Cold

"He knows where Rose is," Spike said stubbornly. "That's all I need to know."

"You need to take me along." Corinna still wasn't finished surprising everyone.

Spike turned to her, impatient to be gone to rescue Rose. "Look, ducks, thanks for saving us from having to deal with another hellmouth and all that..,"

"You'll need my help to get past Santa Claus," Corinna interrupted.

Most of the group either burst out laughing or simply looked confused. Spike, however, was appalled.

"Santa had my kids?" He pulled the twins close to him again, almost as if to reassure himself that they were actually there. "How'n hell did you two get out of there?"

"Mummy told Lindsey to bring us here," Alaric said, rather matter-of-factly.

Even Angel looked shaken. "You're trying to tell me that your mother told him..," He seemed to be trying to avoid using Lindsey's name. ".., what to do and he did it?"

"Doesn't everybody?" asked Ariel. "You do."

Spike was still in a state of shock. "That evil, little bastard Santa had my kids. He has Rose." He thrust the kids back at Lorne and headed, not for an exit, but from all appearances, for the CEO's office.

"Not the claymore again," Angel moaned. "It's never been the same since the last time he used it."

Gunn, who had been one of the people laughing was coming to the realization that it was no laughing matter. "Straight up, no shit," he said slowly. "Santa Claus?"

"According to the records, he's one of the worst pestilence demons of all time," Wesley began lecturing. "But he dropped out of sight more than fifty years back. While there was no actual record of what happened, the Council has been guardedly optimistic that it meant that he was dead."

"He's been imprisoned," Corinna supplied, drawing the startled stares back to her. "He could leave for very brief times, with the use of some very powerful and energy consuming spells. Opening a new hellmouth would free him again."

"How do you know all this?" Fred demanded suspiciously.

The image of Corinna wavered, and for a brief moment, they all saw a plump, elderly woman, cheerful and smiling and dressed in red and white.

"Okay, so that answers one question," Lorne observed quietly. "I suppose another would be, why are you helping us?"

Corinna, back in the form they were familiar with just barely stopped herself from glaring at the Pylean. He couldn't know.

"He took me with him," she hissed. "He tied me to him with spells. This is the first time I've been out of that miserable hole in fifty years."

"So it's a revenge thing, huh?" Gunn queried. "I can understand that."

Spike came striding back in with, predictably, Angel's claymore.

"Come on, lawyer boy," he said to Lindsey. "I want my wife the hell away from Santa Claus."

"Big knife not being any good," the Q'xlzr informed them. A couple of people jumped. It had been so quite they'd forgotten it's presence. "Not on Santa Claus."

"Why not?" Spike stroked the hilt of the sword lovingly. He really didn't want to give it up.

"He like fish-stars," the demon explained. It seemed perplexed that no one got the reference. It tried again. "Cut part off, grow two. No want to cut he."

"Starfish!" Fred said triumphantly. "They have a totally de-centralized nervous system. You can practically dice one, and each little piece will grow into a whole new starfish."

"Looks like the claymore stays at home, Spike," Angel remarked.

Spike handed Angel the sword, but spared him a dirty look as if to say that it was Angel's doing that he couldn't use it. "How do you go about ending the little freak's career?" he asked. "Because he gave me the wiggins when I was evil, and now, just the thought of him running about is likely to give me worse nightmares than Sunnydale ever could."

Since it had brought up the point first, everyone looked to the Q'xlzr, who's ears drooped in dejection.

"I not be knowing that," it confessed. "Found out other by accident, long and long ago. But I not be knowing how to kill he."

The Q'xlzr, having failed them, they turned to Corinna, who looked just as much at a loss as the little demon had.

"I think that's why he was imprisoned," she speculated. "I'm not sure that anyone knows what will kill him." A dark shadow drifted across her eyes. "He can't be poisoned."

"How do you know?" Wesley began, then interrupted himself. "Oh, I see. I take it that you're venomous?"

"Very," Corinna agreed. "And no matter how many times I bit him, it didn't seem to affect him in the slightest."

"Maybe we should just settle for leaving him buried in his hole?" Gunn ventured tentatively.

"No!" Spike and Corinna burst out together.

Spike looked at her curiously. "I know why I want the bugger dead," he remarked. "But what's in it for you, pet?"

"You need me to help you get in to get your wife," Corinna explained. "But once I get that close to him, I'll be in range for the spell he cast to bind me to him. If we don't manage to kill him, I'll be stuck there with him forever."

"Look, doll," Lorne said. "Not meaning to be rude, and you've certainly done some good here tonight, but what were you doing hooked up with a pestilence demon in the first place?"

"It was a very long time ago," Corinna murmured. "I was young and foolish and he offered me the world." She looked indescribably sad, regretting the follies of youth that had demanded a far higher payment than most people's worst mistakes and misdeeds ever could.

This time, it was to Angel their eyes turned, asking him to make a decision. And Angel wasn't sure what the right decision was. On one hand she'd been Santa's consort for decades, maybe even centuries. On the other hand, she couldn't be much shadier than Lindsey McDonald, and she had..,

"She saved Ariel." Spike spoke aloud what Angel had been thinking. "That's good enough for me."

Since it was Rose that they were going to rescue (again), Angel guessed that settled it.

&&&&&&

Rose stood, make-up and hair now in perfect repair, and awaited Richard's verdict.

"Lovely." Richard's chin reacted on his hand as he regarded her thoughtfully, and it was easy to tell that his approbation was about to be qualified. "But that dress is an absolute horror, Lily. Whatever possessed you to pick such a color?"

Rose felt her ire start to rise. She had done all she could to placate this madman, and now he had the nerve to criticize her appearance in her sacrificial robes. She drew in a deep breath before answering. "It was a gift from your father, dear," Rose said in saccharin tones. She lowered her voice to a whisper. "I didn't want to hurt his feelings." She smiled sweetly at each of them in turn.

Richard beamed back at her. Santa's expression was more a baring of the teeth.

&&&&&&&

"We still don't know what, if anything, will kill him," Fred protested.

"We'll take along a little bit of everything we can think of," Angel said. "You know, try to cover all the bases."

"Then let's get it and go," Spike ordered urgently. "Gives me the creeping horrors thinking what might happen to Rose. Especially since by now, Santa has to know that his precious spell didn't work."

"Mummy was scared," Ariel volunteered.

"But now she's getting mad," Alaric added.

Looks were exchanged as everyone realized they had, once again, missed an obvious source of information.

"You can actually tell what she's thinking on the other side of a portal?" Lindsey didn't really expect an answer, but he was curious.

"We can always find mummy," Ariel stated.

"Richard totally spazzed," Alaric remarked. "Mum thinks he's lost his mind."

Ariel, not liking the thought that her brother was one up on her, started 'listening' to her mother as well. "He's acting like he thinks mummy really is his wife." Seeing Spike's stricken expression, she added, "She's playing along with him, for now."

"She's wondering if you guys are ever going to rescue her," Alaric put in. "When are you going to rescue her?"

"Right bloody now," Spike replied, taking Lindsey by the arm. "We're leaving, now. If the rest of you lot want to tag along, best you get a wiggle on."

He started moving off, with Lindsey, half walking, half being dragged.

"But how are you going to kill him, Spike?" Wesley asked the blond vamp's retreating back.

"Figure it out when I get there," Spike's voice drifted back. "I need to get Rose away from there."

&&&&&&&&

Rose sat perfectly still. Richard was gone, who knows where, and the demon sat staring at her unblinkingly.

When a little voice inside her head told her not to worry, the news was so overwhelmingly welcome that she couldn't suppress a smile.

Her jailer noticed. "What makes you so pleased all of a sudden, my dear?" He tried to feign the appearance of a harmless old man once more, but knowing what she knew, the effort was wasted on Rose.

"You'll find out soon enough," Rose answered calmly. And thought, the sooner the better.

"But I wish to know now," Santa retorted. His tones were mild enough, but unspeakable lights danced in his eyes.

"Life's a bitch, isn't it?" Rose asked sweetly. And saw her adversary start upon the hearing of it. Why did everyone find it so shocking when she swore? Spike did it all the time, and hardly anybody even noticed.

There was a faint shimmer in the air, and enough static along with it to make the hairs on Rose's arms stand on end. The portal opened, and Richard entered, carrying an armload of clothes.

Rose recognized those clothes. Evidently Richard hadn't gotten rid of the wardrobe he'd purchased for her. Or perhaps it was part of his act, keeping her clothes against the hope of her return. Keeping up appearances. After all, it wasn't widely known that she was actually married to someone else. She'd spoken to Gunn, who had people monitoring all the media, and Richard suddenly acquiring, and then losing, a wife had hardly caused a ripple.

"Richard," Santa said with false heartiness. "I think you should speak with your wife about her language. Swearing really isn't very ladylike, and not too likely to impress your voters."

"Lily!" Richard looked shocked to the soles of his shoes. "I can't believe it."

"Then don't," Rose advised. "Believing and not believing as you chose to seems to be your strong point right now, Richard. Go with it."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Richard's complexion was starting to mottle.

Rose sighed. She probably shouldn't push him too hard right now. She still didn't know when Spike would be here, only that he was on his way.

&&&&&&&&&

"Left at the next light." Lindsey was trying to give directions and hang on for dear life at the same time. Spike was driving. "I wouldn't object to getting there in one piece," he suggested hopefully.

"If you hadn't brought my kids home, you'd be on the list for not being in one piece," Spike replied calmly, dodging in and out of traffic and hoping like hell that the people he cut off didn't have weak hearts. "I still owe you for kidnapping them in the first place."

"Your next right," Lindsey directed. "I don't suppose you'd accept my very sincere apologies?"

Spike erupted into laughter. "You got some stones, I'll give you that," he remarked. "As far as accepting your apology.., well, maybe, once I run you past the kids."

Lindsey relaxed. If the twin's approbation was all it took, he should have it made in the shade. To the best of his knowledge, the spell that selected which of his thoughts they had access to was still in place.

If only he could feel as confident about the prospect of meeting Santa after double-crossing him.

They'd damn well better figure out a way to kill the old bastard.

&&&&&&&

"Has everyone got everything?" Angel asked. there were loading potentially necessary supplies into one of the company helicopters. With the lead Spike had on them, they'd never catch him by car.

"Everything we could think of," Fred answered. "If something here doesn't kill him, we're screwed."

"You ought to let us go with you, Uncle Angel." Ariel gave her uncle her best winsome look. One that was generally guaranteed to melt his heart, and good sense, on the instant.

"Yeah, and we could ride in the helicopter with you," Alaric added a bit less diplomatically.

Angel gave his godchildren a quick hug. "I promise I'll take you up in the helicopter sometime," he vowed. "But you two need to stay here where we won't have to worry about you."

"But we could help," Ariel insisted. She wasn't used to having Angel say no to her.

"Sure, we could read their minds and tell you what they were up to," Alaric offered. "Please, Uncle Angel?"

"No," Angel repeated firmly. He adored the twins, he loved spoiling them, and he hated saying no to them. But this was going to be too dangerous a situation to take them into. "You guys stay here and hold down the fort with Wes and Lorne."

"C'mon, kiddies." Lorne took them each by the hand. "We'll have a sing-along, or watch a video, and they'll be back with your mom before you know it." And he threw a silent thought to The Powers That Be that they'd do something to make that piece of wishful thinking reality.

The twins, sulky but obedient, allowed themselves to be pulled away while the rest of the crew climbed into the 'copter.

Angel and Corinna were the last to board.

"You don't really have to do this, Corinna," Angel said in a shout, but one that was just barely loud enough to be heard over engines and rotors swishing overhead. "You've already done a lot for us. And I can't guarantee that we will be able to kill him. I don't want to see you stuck there."

"Thank you, Angel," Corinna replied as quietly as the cacophony overhead would allow also. "I don't want to go. But I have to. I've just sat by the sidelines and done nothing for far too long. Besides." Her eyes hardened and darkened slightly for a moment. "He killed my.., our, children. Every last one of them. It's time he paid for that."

Angel didn't want to think how he'd feel if someone killed Connor. And he still sneaked a peek at his son periodically, just to see that he was well and happy. Things that he wasn't able to provide for him. He sighed. He couldn't see how he could deny Corinna her vengeance. All he could do was help her board the helicopter.