A Series of Unfortunate Events

Presented by the Yugioh characters

Chapter Two of Book One

By:Kura, MichiHikari and Yami Mokuba

Chapter One: Practicing Act One, Part One

It was a beach setting. Seto Kaiba, complaining and cursing loudly, threatened everyone who came by to "take this stupid dress off me or I shall sue you out of everything you have". Of course, everyone ignored him because it is his costume.

Noah Kaiba was practicing his lines. "Oh, look at this fascinating seashell," he said loudly, sounding extremely bored. "It's so... spiraly and swirly and seashell-like". He turned to Marik. "Can't I study computers instead?"

"There aren't any computers at the beach," Marik explained.

Noah looked surprised. "No? I thought there were computers everywhere!!" He then turned to Seto. "Seto, can we..."

"GET IT OFF!!!" Kaiba was running around in one spot, looking very much like a puppy chasing its own tail. In fact, he was trying to reach the dress' zipper, and he was failing miserably. Marik and Noah looked at each other and burst out laughing, clutching their stomachs and falling on the sand, almost hitting Mokuba, who was practicing crawling.

"Yes!" Mokuba called out. "Success!!" Now he picked up the swirly, spiraly seashell Noah dropped and bit it, hard. "Yeow!!!" he wailed. "Why does Sunny Baudelaire have to bite hard stuff!" He ran around blindly, and hit Seto, who fell over and squashed Marik and Noah, causing in all four of them screaming loudly.

"SILENCE!!!" Tea and Mai screeched. Everyone immediately stopped bawling and stared up at them with large, wet eyes (a/n: cuteness!!). Mai reached out and grabbed everyone by the ear, dragging them over to where they were supposed to be. "STRINGS!!!" she bawled.

Strings sauntered over and looked at everyone blankly, drool dripping off one side of his mouth. "Huh? Oh... yeah." He snatched up a cardboard clapper and exclaimed, "A Series of Unfortunate Events, Act One, Part One, Take one... Action!!!"

a/n: form this point on, I'll address everyone by their ASOUE character names.

Violet, Klaus and Sunny walked down the long stretch of beach. Violet threw rocks out into the ocean, her brain working on an invention to get your rocks back (Ahaha ". Try 'thinking of various ways to torture the people who forced him to put on that dress). She thought quietly for a minute, an evil smile slowly spreading across her face, then took a step towards the ocean and tripped, landing face-first on the sand.

"Big brothe--- sister!!" Klaus and Sunny cried out. Klaus jabbed Sunny sharply in the ribs and Sunny cried out.

"Oh, yeah... googa!! Booblah blah!!" Sunny called out, rolling her eyes. Violet stood up, sea water dripping off her face. "I LOATHE THIS," she muttered, and her wig fell off.

"Cut!!" Marik yelled. "Kaiba!! Your wig fell off!!"

"I'm not doing this anymore," Kaiba called back.

"Ok, then, you FAIL!!" Marik threatened, and Kaiba glared at him with the evil eye. (a/n: )

Muttering all the time, Kaiba pulled on the wig. "Fine," he spat. "Get it over with, Strings!!"

"A Series of Unfortunate Events, Act One, Part One, Take two!! Action!!" Strings called out obediently.

Violet dried out her hair, grumbling incoherent sentences. Klaus walked over to the tide pools, looking in them with his nose so close to the water, that a crab suddenly reached up and closed its claws on his nose. "Yaaa!!!" Klaus screamed, running around, pulling at the crab, who looked like it was laughing. Klaus tripped over Sunny, who was crawling around, picking at her dress. She scuttled near a rock, glared at it like it was the enemy, and circled it like a hunter circling his prey.

With an action movie yell, Sunny leapt on the rock and bit it savagely. Immediately after she did, she leapt off, clutching her tooth. "Ow!" She stared at the rock with large, scared eyes. "You win," she whimpered, scuttling away from it, but not taking her eyes off it for a second. She backed up near the edge of the stage, and Mai hissed, "Mokuba!! Line!!"

Sunny tilted her head at her, then understanding flickered in her eyes. "Ohh, BLAHGERRS!!" she screamed. When Klaus and Violet ignored her, she jumped on Klaus and yanked the crab off his nose. "Oh, thanks," he gasped. "That hurt."

Sunny points towards the left side of the stage, where a shadowy figure was drawing nearer, wearing a cloak and with a square-shaped head.

The figure grew nearer, and the children sighed in relief. It was only Mr. Poe (Odion), wearing a top hat. But when they could see Mr. Poe more clearly, they shrieked in surprise and shock.

Mr. Poe was wearing a tuxedo under a long, flowing cape, and high heels. He had also went all out in makeup, his eyelids laden down with eye shadow and eyeliner, both black. He was wearing dark red blush in circles on his cheeks, and black lipstick, all over a thick layer of foundation, making his face look very pale. Of course, the makeup artist was Yami, who felt VERY proud of his handiwork.

Everyone gaped at Odion, who looked around, smiling. "Am I not the best-looking actor you've ever seen? Huh? Huh?"

"The legend is true," Noah breathed.

"It's the vampire clown!!!!!" Mokuba screamed, completely forgetting that he wasn't supposed to speak in actual words, being Sunny and all. He wailed, showing everyone the little kid he truly was. Even Kaiba forgot about wearing a dress as he went over to Mokuba and started to comfort him, saying, "The curse isn't real, Mokuba." After a second of thought, he muttered softly, "Though the fool does look like the boogeyman or even worse, a clown gone bad." (a/n: scary....though aren't all clowns bad to begin with?)

"Did you say something, big brother?"

"Oh no, nothing at all, Mokuba." Kaiba fretted, sweat drops running down the back of his head.

Mai turned to Tea and whispered, "Kaiba looks like a big sister."

"Black hair suits him," Tea agreed. "Long black hair." They looked at each other and giggled.

Kaiba's ear twitched, and he swirled to glare at Mai and Tea. With a banshee shriek, he leapt off the stage towards the frozen girls. His eyes were wild and the wig hair standing on end, and the dress' skirt billowed out from under him. Seto Kaiba looked like a flying madwoman.

As you may have expected, it took quite some time to separate the three dress-clad women (and one very unfortunate man) from each other. Chaos ensued all around the theater, caused from a domino-like chain reaction. It was the start of.... (dun dun dun!!) a series of unfortunate events.

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ha-ha!!!

Chapter two down. Well, I really didn't want to wait for reviewers before I posted the next chapter.... So I just put this in without any special mentions. Sorry!!!! I promise, though, I WILL put in special mentions in the most recent chapter I'll be working on.

For now, hey Kei-chan!!! I promised I'd put you in and I did!!!! Well, thank you, readers!!! On to the next level of my characters' suffering!!! Mwahahahahahahahaha!!!! I feel sorry for them.... Almost.

Don't look at me that way!!!! Aren't authoresses supposed to be this way....? Just Kidding