So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell,
Blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
Pink Floyd, Wish You Were Here.
I turned the key in the lock and stepped into the room that would be my home for the next few days. The best I can describe it as, is cosy. Maybe it's a little old fashioned but that fits in with the rest of the village. I threw my bag onto the bed and opened it. I unpacked all my clothes, folding them neatly and placing them in the draws beside my bed. I hated my room to be untidy. I then removed my notepad and pen and put them into my pocket. If I was going to interview this Leon it wouldn't do to forget them. The last thing I removed was my laptop. I placed it on the antique wooden desk in the corner of my room so that I could begin to type my report up later. I picked up my key and my purse from the bed. After all, you never know when you might need some money. Taking a look out of the window, I saw where I should head. At the far end of the beach, was a steep cliff face, into which a cave was set. I guess that's where Leon must be. I just hope he's not like his father.
I took a deep breath, allowing the fresh sea air into my lungs, which are far more accustomed to factory smoke and car exhausts. It's been so long since I've visited the seaside. It almost feels like another world to me now, after spending the last few years in Deling and Timber. I removed the boots from my feet and allowed the sand to sink between my toes, only to be washed away by the waves lapping over my feet. It's so peaceful here. There isn't a soul to be found on the beach, no children making sandcastles or splashing in the water. It's almost as if I'm the only person in the world at the moment. I embraced the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks in the distance, and revelled in the fact that there were no sounds of civilisation. I was far from the hustle and bustle of what I would call home, but even though the surroundings were unfamiliar, they comforted me in a way that I cannot describe. Squall's description of the place may have been fair, but right now, I disagreed,
"Just some little place in the middle of nowhere," he had told me. "Nothing to do, no challenges. The only danger's the odd weak monster that wandered into the village."
I guess that bit was true, but he never told me about this. About how beautiful and picturesque the surroundings were. About how everything was different from city life, the air, the atmosphere, everything. Then again, Squall had never been able to appreciate the beauty of the world. Life here seems so simple. I can't remember the last time that was the case. It was probably before Mum passed away, and that was an age ago. At least now, I'm old enough to realise that she's in a better place, watching over me. Over the last four years, I had felt deep inside that she was with me. Maybe I hadn't been totally alone.
I reached down to the necklace that I wore everyday, that I had worn everyday for the last 16 years. I ran my finger around the platinum band that had once been my mother's wedding ring. I can still remember the day she gave it to me, when she was on her death bed.
"Rinoa," she had told me. "One day you will truly know happiness. That is the day that you find true love. Only you will know when that day comes, but make sure that you do not let it go. I have never mentioned this to anyone before, but that is my greatest regret. I let my true love go, never to be known again."
"But, you love Daddy, don't you?"
"Of course sweetheart. But when you are older, you will understand fully about fate and what is meant to be. For now, you are too young." She stroked my hair gently. "You have a wonderful life ahead of you. Do not worry."
"Mummy. Are you going to die?"
"Don't think of it as dying, Rinoa. I'll always be there for you when you need me. I'll always watch over you." She slipped her wedding ring off her finger and placed it on the chain that hung around my neck, the one she had bought for my birthday. "See, I'll always be with you."
And with that, she took her last breath and passed silently into the light.
I smiled at the thought that she was always with me, and deep down, I knew that she had told me the truth. She was always there. What troubled me still was what she had told me about love and fate. I knew now that her true love certainly wasn't Caraway. Sure, she had cared for him, just like I had once cared for Seifer, but they weren't meant to be. He hadn't even been with her when she died.
The one she truly loved was Laguna Loire. In the past he had told me many stories about my mother, about what a wonderful woman she was. I could tell he felt the same about her.
"There are so many things I regret in my life," he told me. "But two rank above all others. One was that I didn't find my only son sooner. The other was going away to war and leaving your mother, the woman I loved, behind." I could tell from the look on his face that this had haunted him ever since he left her room in the Galbadia Hotel. Then he looked straight at me. I had never seen him so serious before. "I know of his feelings for you. This is meant to be. I don't want you two to make the same mistakes that Julia and I did. Who knows, maybe you're here to undo that very same mistake."
At the time, I did not pay much attention to his words, but in hindsight, I know that I should have heeded the warning he had given.
Sorry Laguna. I guess I wasn't able to stop your mistake repeating itself. Squall isn't here with me now. I don't even feel him watching over me.
At least I have something.
I studied the ring he had given me closely. Like the memory of Squall, Griever hadn't dulled over time. It was really quite fitting that Griever was depicted as a lion. It represented Squall so well. He was never afraid and he would always fight if he needed to. I guess that he was my guardian in a way. He would always protect me.
But I guess I'm on my own now.
I let go of my necklace with a sigh, the two rings clashing together as they fell. Those two rings given to me by the only people that I truly loved. People who are no longer here.
I was brought out of my thoughts when I realised that I could go no further along the beach, my path blocked by jagged rocks, rising up from the ground. A quick glance to my right confirmed that I had made it to the cave without realising. I slipped the boots back onto my feet and stepped into the cave, my footsteps echoing slightly as I walked. As I rounded a corner, I could see someone with their back turned to me. As it was dark, the only thing I could tell was that they were fairly tall and well built. The figure seemed to be working out, doing some sort of exercise routine in time to the drips of water falling from the roof of the cave and splashing on the floor below. I stepped out into the middle of the passage.
It was familiar, the exercise.
It was a SeeD exercise routine, designed to improve strength and stamina. I had seen it performed so many times before. Squall would practice it every morning before he went for a shower. How could Maron's son know anything about SeeD?
The figure seemed to become aware of my presence, turning around. I will never forget the sight that stood before me.
"Squall." The world seemed to stop for a few moments as I stood there, rooted to the spot, dumbfounded.
Was this just a dream?
No, it can't be. He's standing in front of me. He's really there.
It was definitely him. The scar was there, the earring, the pendant too. It was him.
Unable to control my emotions any longer, I ran towards him and fell into his arms, as I had done once before. It felt so good to be with him, in his arms. I could feel his warmth on me. It was really him, and he was really here.
"Squall," I whispered.
"Who the hell are you?" he shouted, pushing me away, roughly. I fell against the floor, hitting my head. He stared down at me, as if he couldn't recognise me.
"Squall? Squall, it's me."
"I don't know who the hell you are, but my name's not Squall, alright?"
It felt as though my world had fallen apart. There, in front of me was the man I love. The man I had loved ever since I met him. And he didn't know who I was. This was everything that I had wished for over the last few years. I had found him, alive. But things couldn't be worse. Tears flowed freely down my cheeks, washing away all the hope that I had harboured over the years. Unable to stay in this place any longer, I ran.
I just ran.
I wanted to forget everything.
How could he not remember? Or maybe he does remember, and he came here to get away from me?
But he told me he loved me. The last thing he said before he left was "I love you too."
Was that a lie?
Had everything with him been a lie?
I ran back inside the hotel, exhausted, the tears still falling from my eyes. My gaze drifted to the piano in the corner of the room.
Well, it had always helped me in the past. When Mum passed away, I just sat at the piano for days on end, finding comfort in my music. Maybe now, it would help.
"May I?" I asked the receptionist. She nodded and left the room, sensing my need for a quiet moment alone.
I sat down on the stool, familiarising myself once again with the keys. I sat up straight, positioning myself to play. The only thing that I could think of to play was the song that I had written when I returned to Caraway's mansion after Squall had left.
I gently pressed down on the keys, the sound drifting gracefully around the room as I began to sing.
It's been a long, long time since I looked into the mirror
I guess that I was blind
Now my reflection's getting clearer
Now that you're gone things will never be the same again.
The words just flowed from my soul. I didn't even realise that I could still remember them, it had been so long.
There's not a minute that goes by every hour of every day
You're such a part of me
But I just pulled away
Well, I'm not the same girl
you used to know
I wish I said the words I never showed
I know you had to go away
I died just a little, and I feel it now
You're the one I need
I believe that I would cry just a little
Just to have you back now
Here with me
Here with me
The more I played, the less I could notice around me. The room began to disappear, and soon there was just me. Just me, sat at the piano, the music coming from the very depths of my soul, singing out my pain.
You know that silence is loud when all you hear is your heart
And I wanted so badly just to be a part of something strong and true
But I was scared and left it all behind
I know you had to go away
I died just a little, and I feel it now
You're the one I need
I believe that I would cry just a little
Just to have you back now
Here with me
Here with me
And I'm asking
And I'm wanting you to come back to me
Please?
My tears continued to flow in the realization of the words that I was singing. All the pain, the hurt, the anger that I had bottled up over the last four years was finally emerging, and taking over me. There was nothing I could do to save myself from the darkness that had enveloped me.
I never will forget that look upon
your face
How you turned away and left
without a trace
But I understand that you did what you had to do
And I thank you
I know you had to go away
I died just a little, and I feel it now
You're the one I need
I believe that I would cry just a little
Just to have you back now
Here with me
Here with me
As my song ended, I could do nothing but sit there, in tears, sobbing quietly to myself.
So this is what it means to be alone?
Slowly, I wiped my eyes, brushing the tears away as best I could.
It was then that I noticed the figure in the doorway, watching me.
It was him.
Thanks to:
Almicene
Rinoa Heartilly
LeopardDance
Anonymous
Riona
CTHKSI
Discordia the Goddess of Irony
Rinoa Leonhart73
Dan
A/N I'm sorry if you thought that Squall was a little harsh on Rinoa, all will be explained in the next chapter. And don't worry, the other characters will be back shortly.
NB. The song I used in this chapter was Here With Me by Michelle Branch, which I obviously didn't write myself.