This
technically doesn't count as a CGS title, but it is related. This is
the story of what happened to Tawna, Trepy, and Bero in CGS3 when the
house went crazy. Enjoy lots!
--------------------------------
The
Dumb-Ension
What happened to Bero, Trepy, and Tawna in Crash
Goes Stupid 3.
By FNC
Previously in Moron Manor...
The
Copy Rats Bero, Certox, Trepy, Enjin, and Teeny were chatting with
bandistooges Crash Coco and Tawna when suddenly, the movie that was
on the TV was interrupted by a special news broadcast.
TV
Reporter: Ladies and gentlemen, we have serious breaking news! The
Empire State Building, the Sears Tower, and Big Ben have all
collapsed for no reason at all! And they did it at exactly the same
time! This just in! All of London seems to be under a radioactive
attack by a group of terrorists never seen on this planet!!! And now
the Egyptian Pyramids have been vaporized by alien UFOs! Newest news:
Zombies seem to be rising from the former location of the Twin Towers
and eating the brains out of all its citizens! You should see it
now!
The news showed a picture that looked like it was taken
from Resident Evil. Zombies were running around the streets in large
crowds. It seemed like half the population of New York was running
around as the living dead.
Reporter: The world is in sheer
panic! This madness could be the end of all of humankind!
Suddenly,
everything in the Manor turned off. A small electrical sound was
heard.
Crash: Well, better go check the sattelite!
Coco:
But we don't have a sattelite!
Crash: Okay!
He walked
through the Swiss Cheese and was heard climbing onto the
roof.
Tawna: What a moron!
Coco: Now, about that free
stuff...
Everything in the Manor mentioned earlier started to
go beserk.
Bero: Where's your circuit breaker?
Coco: In
the basement. But watch out for the wild alligators.
Bero:
Gulp... alligators?
Tawna: Yes. We found 'em and kept
'em!
Coco: They were stray!
Bero: Oh, boy. Well, I'll
try to fix the circuit breaker without getting killed.
Bero's
thoughts: Cool! Maybe I should try that!
He went down to check
the breaker, but saw nothing wrong. Meanwhile....
Trepy: Do
you guys have any snacks?
Tawna: Sure do! Let me lead you to
them!
She walked off to the kitchen. Crash was heard coming
down from the roof.
Crash: Nothing was wrong with the
sattelite!
Coco: But we don't have a sattelite!
Crash:
Okay!
Everything shut off again, and then turned back on.
Nothing bizarre was happening anymore.
Coco: I guess Bero
fixed the problem!
Certox: I'll go check on him. Crash, come
with me!
Crash: Why?
Certox: JUST DO IT!
Crash:
OKAAAAAAAAY!!!!
They walked down the stairs to the basement.
Meanwhile, upstairs...
Coco: Hey, Enjin! Do you and Teeny
wanna go with me to meet Tawna and Trepy in the kitchen with the
munchies?
Enjin: I guess...
Teeny: Meow...
Coco:
Okay.
They walked into the kitchen. Then they walked out with
panic on their faces. Crash and Certox dashed up the stairs with that
same look.
Coco: GUYS! YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE THIS!!!
Certox:
We have a wild story too!
Coco: You first!
Certox: BERO
IS GONE!!!
Enjin: So are Trepy and Tawna!
Crash:
NOOOOOOOOO!!!
What happened to the three idiots? Where did
they go? And why did they disappear? Find out in...
CRASH GOES
STUPID: THE DUMB-ENSION!!!
Starring the following
idiots:
Tawna Bandicoot
Copy Rat Bero
Copy Rat
Trepy
Billy Proton
Johnny Electron
Word of a
secret cousin Jimmy Neutron.
and Dr. Deville, my least
favorite guy.
Dr. Deville: Watch it, bub!
This fic
starts in an interdimensional time tunnel. Tawna looks like she's
about to...
Tawna: BLAWF!
...ralf!
Tawna:
Hurloblaw!
Trepy: Yuck!
Bero: Eww, it's all over
me!
Tawna: Sorry, B...b...blaugh!
Bero: Who's
blaugh?
Tawna: None of your b...b...bwa!!!
Trepy: Watch
it! This blue paint is sensitive!
Tawna: Well, ooooooooooooooh
it ain't my fault!
Trepy: Did I do that?
Tawna: It
ain't my fault!
Trepy: Did I do that?
Tawna: It ain't
my fault?
Trepy: Did I...
Bero: STOOOOOOOP!!!
Trepy:
That's not how it goes!
Bero: No, I mean STOOOOOOOP!!! as in
STOOOOOOOP!!! That song is so annoying!
Trepy:
STOOOOOOOP!!!
Tawna: Stwak!!!
Bero and Trepy:
STOOOOOOOP!!!
Tawna: Well...
Trepy:
STOOOOOOOP!!!
Bero: She was...
Tawna:
STOOOOOOOP!!!
Trepy: But...
Bero: STOOOOOOOP!!!
Tawna:
I was only...
Trepy: No ifs ands or buts about it!
Tawna:
But...
Trepy: BAH!
Bero: Well...
Trepy:
MEH!
Tawna: ...
Trepy: BEH!
Bero: ...
Trepy:
MAH! Hey, there's a light up ahead!
Bero: Should I get out my
parachute?
Trepy: No! You don't need it!
Bero:
Okay!
He pulls out a pair of black boots.
Trepy: Not
pair of boots! Parachute!
Bero: Oh!
He puts the boots
away and pulls out a green parakeet.
Bero: Here!
Trepy:
NOT PARAKEET! PARA-
BOOOOM! They crash into a brick
wall.
Trepy: ...medic!
Tawna: I think my head's
broken!
Bero: Naw, that thick skull of yours offers too much
protection!
Tawna: Ohh.... hey!
Voice:
Welcome....
Voice: To HECK!!!
Voice 1: Johnny!
Johnny:
Well, it's the truth!
Voice 1: That's no way to treat our
guests!
Johnny: Oh, shut up, Billy!
The idiots peel off
the wall and land on carpet. They stand up to see hundreds of
monitors surrounding them, each with a news broadcast or computer
data on it.
Monitor 67: The Eiffel Tower has been
obliterated!
Monitor 182: The Leaning Tower of Pisa has sunk
into the ground!
Monitor 24: Mount Everest has been reduced to
three fourths of its original size in just 5 seconds!
Monitor
395: Onions? No, Ed, we're smarter than... Buttered toast?? The bus
driver?
Billy: Whoops... wrong channel!
He whips out a
remote and zaps it to CNN67.
Monitor 395: The Grand Canyon has
been mysteriously been filled with sulfuric acid and is no longer
safe to even go near!
Trepy: So... who are you?
Billy:
I'm Billy Proton, and this here is my idiot...
Johnny:
Hey!
Billy: Whoops! I mean, brother, Johnny Electron!
Johnny:
Hello! Who's there?
Bero: Yeah, right!
Tawna: I know
who you are! You're evil space leeches disguised as scientists who
have brought us to your alien planet to suck the knowledge out of our
brains and gain useful information about our planet Earth!
You
don't even have a brain, much less any knowledge inside it!
Tawna:
Shut it!
Billy: Are you sure these are the right
ones?
Johnny: Sure am with a sack of potatoes!
Billy:
Really. Then WHY do they think we're space leeches?!?!?!
Johnny:
I dunno!
Billy: ARGH!!! Let me ask you guys one thing. Are you
three peoples' names Jesse, James, and Meowth?
Trepy: You mean
those idiots from Pokemon?
Billy: Whoops! Wrong names... I
mean Tawnu, Tropy, and Brio?
Idiots: Hey! I know them!
Tawna:
But unfortunately, we're not them. I'm Tawna.
Bero: I'm
Bero.
Trepy: And I'm Ed!
Tawna and Bero: Trepy!
Trepy:
Whoops, I mean Trepy!
Billy: Oh...
He says that in an
especially loud tone of voice.
Billy: whispering Johnny,
remind me to hurt you once these guys are gone!
Johnny:
Whoops! Okee dokee!
BONUS: IF YOU CAN TELL HOW MANY TIMES
"WHOOPS!" HAS BEEN SAID WITHOUT LOOKING BACK, YOU WILL GAIN
ACCESS TO A SECRET WEB SITE THAT ONLY 15 PEOPLE HAVE BEEN LUCKY
ENOUGH TO ACCESS! ...ladee dadee dah... boop boop boop... skiddley
dah dah dah! Nope, didn't think so. Nice try! No top secret site for
you!
Billy: So, hopefully, you people will still be able to
help us!
Trepy: Us? Help space aliens? I don't think
so!
Johnny: But we're not space aliens!
Trepy: No ifs,
ands, or buts!
Billy: But...
Trepy: BAH!
Johnny:
We're...
Trepy: MEH!
Billy: He...
Trepy:
BEH!
Johnny: ...
Trepy: MAH!
Johnny:
Weird!
Trepy: You are!
Billy: If.
Johnny:
And.
Billy and Johnny: AND BUT!!!
Trepy: DOH!
Johnny:
One, two, three...
Billy and Johnny: NOT A SPACE
ALIEN!
Johnny: NOT A SPACE ALIEN! HAH, BILLY! YOU'RE THE SPACE
ALIEN! HE'S THE ONE YOU WANT! HE'S THE ALIEN!
Billy: I'm
not!
Tawna: Yeah, so Jimmy cracked corn and I care?
Johnny:
They can't know about our distant cousin, Jimmy Neutron!
Billy:
Unless...
Johnny and Billy: THEY'RE INTERNATIONAL
SPIES!!!
Billy: Get them!
Tawna: AAAAAAAH!
Bero:
Hey, isn't that what that guy Crocodingo says?
Trepy: No,
that's "Arg"!
Bero: Arg!
Billy: Arg!
Tawna:
Arg!
Johnny: Arg!
Trepy: Arg!
Billy: Arg!
Tawna: Arg!
Johnny: Arg!
Bero:
AAAAAAAGH!
Trepy: No, Bero. It's "Arg". In the back
of the throat!
Bero: I know that! What I mean is AAAAAAAAAAGH!
as in AAAAAAAAAAGH! THERE'S A HUGE UGLY BALD GUY IN MONITOR
314!!!
Johnny: It's our worst enemy, the evil Dr.
Deville!
Billy: AAAAAGH!
Tawna: AAAAAGH!
Bero:
AAAAAGH!
Trepy: AAAAAGH!
Johnny: AAAAAGH!
Tawna:
AAAAAGH! No, wait. I already screamed like a little pansy, didn't
I?
Bero: No.
Tawna: Oh, then AAAAAGH!
Trepy:
STOOOOOOGE!
Tawna: DOH! I guess I didn't tell you, but I don't
like being called a stooge!
Trepy: Okay stooge!
Tawna:
DOH!
Deville: Look at you foolish mortals, frolicking about in
your little fantasy world, caring less about the evil I am unleashing
on the world!
Bero: Like a dog?
Deville: No. LIKE
EVIL!!!
Tawna: You sound just like Crash when he's acting like
a god!
Deville: I know not this Crash. Perhaps you have been
eating too many space slugs!
Tawna: No, you weed. Crash is my
brother!
Deville: Oh.
Trepy: WAIT A MINUTE! YOU'RE
SANTA!!!
Deville: Huh? What are you talking about?
Trepy:
SANTA!!! I LOOOOOVE YOU!!!
He runs towards the monitor in
which Deville is on.
Deville: No, wait, I'm not who you think
I am!
Too late. Trepy has already started to yap about his
list.
Trepy: Hey, Santa! Guess what? I want a shiny red bike
with a shiny pinwheel and horn, and I want a Playstation 2, and I
want Crash Bash and Spyro 3 and Jak and Daxter and Megaman Legends,
and...
Tawna: Here we go again!
Trepy: And...
Half
an hour later...
Trepy: ...and the Teisel Bonne action figure,
not the one with the rocket launchers, the one with the bazooka, and
I also want a new Magnavix TV, and...
Bero: Make him
stop!
Deville: SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!
Trepy: Santa! I
wasn't finished!
Deville: I... underestimated you... Billy
Proton and Johnny Electron... I never dreamed... you'd defeat me...
with stupidity! You win... I will... retreat... and set the world...
back to normal! JUST GET THIS FREAK OUT OF MY SIGHT!!!
The
monitor goes blank. Everyone besides Trepy is cheering.
Johnny:
YAY! YOU DID IT!
Trepy: ...
Billy: What's wrong,
Trepy?
He turns to them with fiery eyes.
Trepy: YOU
SCARED AWAY SANTA CLAUS! YOU SHALL PAY FOR THE INJUSTICE YOU HAVE
CAUSED ME!!!
He leaps like a tiger towards Billy and tries to
rip him apart!
Billy: HELP!! GET HIM OFF! GET HIM OFF!!!
AAAAAAAGH!!!
He is laying on the floor as dead as a doornail.
There's a huge red spot near his chest on his white lab
coat.
Johnny: BILLY!!!
He runs over to Billy.
Tawna:
Aww, geez...
Bero: Not another one of those idiotic death
scenes they put in fics like these!
Johnny: Billy! Speak to
me, Billy! SPEAK TO ME!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!
Billy:
Aghhh...
Johnny: BILLY! YOU'RE ALIVE!
Billy: Of course.
But that idiot exploded the pack of ketchup hidden in the secret
pocket of my coat!
Trepy: You're next, Johnny!
Johnny:
NO YOU DON'T!! HERE'S JOHNNY!!!
He whips out a high-intensity
laser cannon and aims it at the three stooges. Billy joins in with a
bazooka.
Billy: ATTACK!
Stooges: AAAAAAAAGH!!!!!
For
15 minutes they chase each other around a table. Then suddenly the
three stooges are warped into another time portal.
Billy: Huh?
Where'd they go?
Johnny: I don't know. But I can tell them
this...
He then stares at the ceiling.
Johnny: We will
meet again, little ones!
In the tunnel from the 500th
Dumb-Ension...
Tawna: Oh boy! I'm nauseous, I'm nauseous,
I'm...
Bero: NOT AGAIN!!!
Tawna: BWAAA!!!
Bero:
EEEEEEW!!!
Trepy: Hey, there's the light again!
Tawna:
Boy, that was fas... fast... FAWOO!!!
Bero: Thank God. I can't
take this barfing anymore!
They suddenly land on the floor of
Moron Manor. Crash, Certox, Enjin, Coco, and Teeny are staring at
them.
Crash: Where were you?
Tawna: In another
dimension!
Enjin: But you were only gone for 25
seconds!
Trepy: It's a long story....
THE END...
?
