Chapter 38

Sesshoumaru had spent the night watching his wife. She was pail and weak. He cursed himself again and again for his actions in the past and for not anticipating Naraku's move. He got up and spoke to his sons.

"I'm taking your mother back to my palace. You two stay here and help your uncle get the camp equipment back. I will see you there in a few days. Behave yourselves. I have enough to worry about without worrying about what trouble you two are getting into.

"We will father. Will mother be ok?" The little men were worried. Especially Samotoyame. He would never forgive himself for letting his mother get taken away by Naraku.

Sesshoumaru ruffled his young son's ears. "Don't worry my son. Your mother just needs some rest. She can't do that out here in the wild."

Sesshoumaru picked up his sleeping wife. Tell your uncle where I've gone, when he gets back with that monk.

Back at the palace...

Sesshoumaru laid his wife down in his bed. She was still sleeping fitfully. Katame groaned and cried out her husband's name. Sesshoumaru knelt down at his wife's side. He gathered her into his hands and brushed her hair away from her face. He held her close and cursed himself for ever having hurt her. "I'm sorry my love. I wish I'd never hurt you. I should have been more careful with you." He kissed her lightly. "I love you."

Katame opened her eyes and looked up at her husband and smiled. "Do you really mean that?" She reached up and touched his face. "You are sorry you hurt me so long ago?"

Sesshoumaru held her hand and gave it a little squeeze. "Yes."

Katame closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

The next day Katame woke to find Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha sitting watching her. She looked up with a start. "Where am I?" She was a bit confused.

Sesshoumaru came close and raised her to a sitting position. "You're back home Katame. You're safe now my pet. Here, you must drink something." He gave her some tea. "Kagome will be in soon with something for you to eat."

"How are you feeling?" Inuyasha asked her. His face was full of concern. "Are you in any pain?"

"A little."

Kagome came to the door with breakfast for them all. "It's good to see you're awake. How are you feeling? Are you hungry?"

"No. Not really."

"Kagome she is in pain can you use any of the medicines that you brought from your era." Inuyasha was worried for his friend. She had become very special to him and he hated to think of her in pain.

"I do have something. Katame can I look at your back?"

Katame nodded.

Inuyasha turned his back while Kagome looked at Katame's back. "Sesshoumaru? Your sword. It can make things come back to life, right? Can it heal as well?"

"Heal? I've never tried to heal anyone with it."

"Well why don't you try it. If you can bring back the dead, you should be able to heal. It makes sense doesn't it?"

Sesshoumaru drew his sword and instructed Katame to lay face down. "This may hurt little one. I will try to be careful." Sesshoumaru drew his powerful sword along each of her stripes. As he did the stripes disappeared replaced by fresh healthy skin.

"Aiiiieeee..." Katame screamed and gasped.

It took a lot of concentration and energy on the half of Sesshoumaru. He was exhausted when finished. Katame was already unconscious from the pain. He sat down beside his brother. "I hope I didn't hurt her too much. I have never done this before. I don't know what effect this will have on her."

Inuyasha moved forward and covered Katame. He looked at her and wiped a tear from her cheek. "She looks good, Sesshoumaru. Let her rest a moment. Come to think of it you should rest too. I'll leave you two alone. Get some rest Sesshoumaru. You won't be any good to her like this."

Sesshoumaru lay down next to his wife and pulled her close to him and went to sleep.

A two weeks later Katame was physically well but she was emotionally, a wreck. She still had nightmares and confused images of Sesshoumaru and Naraku hurting her. She knew one was long in the past and the other more recent but both were too similar. Sesshoumaru tried to help her. He had apologized for his hurting her so long ago and she believed him. But it was hard, in the night when the dreams would begin.

Samotoyame watched his mother and felt deep remorse. He felt awful. He was there when his mother was taken. He thought that it was his fault his mom had suffered. Samoto came up to his mother as she sat on a bench. He knelt at her feet. "I'm sorry momma." He looked up at his mom.

She looked at her son. "Samoto, what are you sorry for. You haven't done anything bad have you?"

He lowered his head. "I let him take you. I let him hurt you."

"Samoto honey, you didn't let any of that happen. You couldn't have stopped him. Even if you had been there when he came. He was so fast I could barely scream."

"But momma I was supposed to keep you safe and I didn't. It's all my fault."

"No! Samoto, no. It's not your fault at all. I was trained to use a sword. But I was foolish, I didn't even have it with me. Besides, he used some herbs to put me asleep. When I woke, I was already chained. There was nothing I could do. Samoto it can't be your fault. Did you tell him who I was? Or where to find me? Of course not. You didn't hurt me, Naraku did."

She hugged her son. "Don't ever blame yourself for something someone else has done. You can't control the actions of others, Samotoyame. Don't be sorry. You are a good son and you tried your best to help me. I know that." She wept into her son's hair. "It's not your fault." Katame got up and walked with her son in the gardens. He looked up at his mother. She had cried. She did that a lot lately.

"Momma you still cry a lot. Are you still hurting?"

"Oh sweetie I'm just a little sad honey. It has been very hard. I won't be sad always I just need some time. I'll be alright soon."

Sesshoumaru was watching his wife. She wasn't progressing. She was still suffering. He needed to do something for her. He approached her as she walked with Samoto. "Katame, my love. Come with me." Sesshoumaru guided his wife into the bedchamber. "You are still very sad Katame. What can I do to help you, Hmmmm?" He gave his wife a squeeze. "Why are you so sad?"

She looked up at her husband. His eyes were a beautiful shade of gold. He looked at her with a such a warm look of concern. He had been so good to her but she felt worthless. How could she explain how she felt? She lowered her eyes.

Sesshoumaru took her face into his hands. "Katame, are you feeling shame?" He bent down and kissed her. She pulled away. "Katame. You must not feel ashamed. I killed Naraku. I took your shame away. I pulled his still beating heart from his chest and put it on a stake outside the gate. You have nothing to be shamed about."

Katame collapsed into a heap on the floor at his feet crying.

Sesshoumaru crouched by his wife. "Katame, Katame. Why are you crying? Please, tell me." He held her close and whispered in her ear. "Katame, don't cry my love. You're safe now, no one will hurt you."

"Oh, Sesshoumaru I am so...." She put her hands on her face. "How could you want me still?" She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "Another man has had me. You can't possibly still want me. I.... "

He took her in his hands and cuddled her into his chest. "Katame my love. Don't think that I don't want you girl. I love you. You are my wife and I want you. Naraku stole you away from me. But now I have you back. I don't...." He sighed. "Katame, tell me something." He tipped her face up to his. "Did you willingly go with him? Did you open to him as easily as you would to me?"

She looked up at him. Tears streaking her face and panic in her eyes. "No! no I could never..."

"Katame!" his voice was unexpectedly harsh. He softened. "Katame, I know you. I know you would never willingly allow another man to have you. I know this. I saw your blood and heard your cries. They were not the cries of a woman enjoying the company of a lover. He mistreated you terribly. I know this my Katame. Don't be ashamed of what happened to you my love. I killed the foul creature who did this to you. I took your shame and hung it on a post outside the gate. His head and his heart are there for all to see. No one may touch you and live.

If you had been a willing partner then I would make you keep your shame, girl. I would make you ware it. But I know you, my Katame. Your own son saw you taken. He told me that you cried out for me just before you passed out. Naraku had pressed some herbs to your face. Katame, why do you insist that I wouldn't understand and that I wouldn't want you for my wife? You are no fool, girl. You should know me better than that. I would not dishonor you in that way."

"I'm sorry Sesshoumaru. I just feel so... worthless and defiled. I wonder how you could ever want to touch me again. Now that another has taken me." Katame whispered through her tears.

"Katame, if my words cannot convince you then perhaps my actions will." Sesshoumaru laid his wife down on the mat and carefully removed her clothes. He was a gentle with her as he could possibly be. He held her tight and caressed her. When he was done he pulled her onto his chest and asked. "Were these the actions of one who does not want to touch his wife?"

She nuzzled into his chest. She was still feeling bad about herself but knew in her heart that Sesshoumaru still wanted her. It would take time for her own heart to heal. But she had Sesshoumaru to help her through this.

"Hmmm? Katame, are you going to answer my question?" He rubbed her back.

"I know you still want me Sesshoumaru. But I still feel badly about what happened."

"You will for some time yet my love. But I always want you to know that you are mine and I will always want you." Sesshoumaru stayed with his wife for the remainder of the day and night.