Jack made his way down the jetty but was suddenly stopped by a couple of blokes guarding the docks.
'This dock is off limits to civilians,' one said coolly, who fancied himself as a bodyguard.
'I'm terribly sorry, I didn't know. If I see one, I shall inform you immediately.' Jack tried to push past but the stupid gits blocked him again.
Jack then started an argument about the Black Pearl, which made all the viewers go 'Ooh, that's in the title, that is.' While they argued he snuck onto the ship.
'Oi! You! You don't have permission to be aboard there, mate!' the thick guys said.
'I'm sowy. It's a berry purty bowt,' Jack lisped, batting his eyelashes.
'What's your name?'
Jack tried to remember. 'Er...Fettucini...no...Folonololololno...dammit, 'tis Smith. Or Smythe. Or Smythery.'
'What is your purpose in Port Royal, Mr Smythery?'
'It is LORD Smythery. I'm a pi - posh person.'
'Sorry,' one of the red coated Butlins guys said. 'Same question...Lord Smythery.'
Jack said some stuff which is too long to type about how he wanted to nick a ship and do other illegal stuff like that and stuff.
And then the guys tried to work out if he was lying but Jack confused them even more.
Meanwhile, Elizabeth was walking past some string players and trying to nick their music. Then she tripped and knocked over their music stands. Norrington, seeing this, rushed over to distract her from her music-bashing.
'May I have a moment?' he asked.
'No,' Elizabeth said rudely. Norrington grabbed her arm and hauled her away, although this was made difficult by Elizabeth stabbing him with a cello spike.
Norrington and Elizabeth stood on a high point. Norrington thought this was crafty.
'Feel free to stand nearer the very high drop,' Norrington said. Elizabeth thanked him and did. Norrington cleared his throat. 'This...promotion throws into sharp light that which I have not achieved. A marriage to a fine woman.'
'And I have become a fine woman,' Elizabeth screeched.
'Ummmmmmm...' Norrington painfully tried to avoid the subject. 'Well...if I marry you your dad might give me another promotion. And another promotion. Soooo...'
'I can't breathe,' Elizabeth said, because the fish she had stuffed down her corset for a snack (which was already rotten) was beginning to smell bad.
'Yes, I feel that way myself,' Norrington said, who had just realised that he had agreed to spend the rest of his life with Elizabeth.
Elizabeth fainted and fell over the edge. Norrington looked back and saw she was gone.
'Elizabeth?' he asked puzzled, not hearing the loud cries of 'Help me, Norry! There are sharks in the water!' He turned to leave, shrugging. Then he saw Elizabeth's dad, and all the people he had to impress. 'I mean...er...oh, I have just realised you are drowning. Er. ELIZABETH!' he shrieked like a girl.
Meanwhile, Jack was on board the Interceptor talking about his movie career with Tim Burton.
'Everyone says it's remarkable we have such a good relationship. I mean we're doing our fourth film together right now. But really I lost to him in Blackjack and am his lifelong acting slave.'
Suddenly they saw Elizabeth fall in the water.
'Oh. There is the governor's daughter.' one remarked.
'Yes. Look at that. Please continue, Mr Sparrow.'
'Aren't you going to save her?' Jack said.
'I don't have my water wings. And my uniform will get mucky,' wailed the fat one.
Jack sighed. 'I'll save her,' he said, and jumped in to save Elizabeth.
I don't have time to write the rest of this scene right this minute but the next part is coming very soon. So stay tuned...and please R&R!!!