Hi again...thanks for the reviews. I would just like to point out that Norry isn't gay. He just happens to LIKE making pretty sandwiches and wearing pink. OK?

CHAPTER 13: FAMILY SECRETS

At this point in the movie, a young lad called Jimmy turned to his friend Billy.

'Jeez, Billy! This here is the biggest load of crap I've ever seen! It sure isn't much like Pirates of the Caribbean.'

'Hey, whaddya expect for a low-budget?' his friend said. 'Personally, I thought it was quite funny...'

'You make me sick!' Jimmy said, shaking his head.

Just then the usher with mafia connections came and told them to get out.

-

So, Will and Jack were on board the Interceptor.

'Well, William. Here we are,' Jack said. There was a pause.

'Yes,' Will answered. 'Here we are.'

Jack was annoyed to see that Will had missed his cue.

'So. At the jail you said your name was William TURNER. That was your father's name, wasn't it?'

'Yup!' Will said cheerfully.

Jack sighed and tried again. 'Your father was a great man Will.'

'Yup!' said Will again.

Jack looked frustrated. 'No! Listen to me!!! I. Know. All. About. Your. Father. Why do you think that might be?'

'Dunno,' Will shrugged.

Jack handed him a script.

'OH MY GOD!!! YOU KNEW MY FATHER!' Will yelled. 'MY DADDY! MY PA! MY CHUM! MY BIG GUY! YOU KNEW HIM! NO! NO!!!! THIS CANNOT BE!!!! WHY!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

'No, mate.' Jack showed Will the script again. 'Your line's just :I'm not a simpleton Jack, you knew my father. OK?'

'DON'T LIE, BASTARD!' Will said, now adding in dramatic stage sobs. 'YOU - YOU - SCUM!!!! WELL, I'M GONNA LIVE UP TO HIS DREAMS! TO HIS EXPECTATIONS, YES, SIR I AM!!!'

'Yes, he was a good pirate,' Jack said.

'MY FATHER WAS NOT A PIRATE!' Will screamed.

'Er. Yes he was,' Jack said.

'He wasn't,' Will sobbed.

Jack pulled out a photo. A gang of men, mostly with eyepatches and gold teeth, were standing in neat rows for a photo. Jack was in the middle. Next to him was Bill Turner. Across the top was a banner saying, 'Most Filmable Crew 1st Place, 1789.'

Will began his over dramatic stage-sobbing again and dramatically sunk to his knees. He thought hard. Now what tone of voice sounded the most dramatic? Yes...that one. 'I'm sorry, Papa,' he said, in a choked half whisper.

Jack found this irritating.

'Oi! Mr I-had-a-blond-wig-so-now-I'm-great, I'm the one who's done many many movies and stuff! I believe you've been in...what was it...six or seven? That's counting the Lord of the Rings separately? Not forgetting you began your career as a dude called Peter something on British small-town Midsomer Murders, eh?'

Will stood up, ready to fight, but Jack turned the long thing on the ship around so Will was dangling over the ocean.

'Hahahahahaha. Should have ducked,' Jack said.

'Alright! Alright! I can sail under the command of a pirate!'

'Say 'My Pirate Friend Here Is the Best Cos He's Made Tons And Tons Of Movies',' Jack said.

'My Pirate Friend Here Is the Best Cos He's Made Tons And Tons Of Movies,' Will said, glaring evilly at Jack.

'Thank you Will. Actually, I don't think I will let you back on the ship. Just hang out there for a while will you?'

'Oh! So hilarious! I'm laughing my head off!' Will snarled.

Jack hummed and ignored him.

Finally the ship arrived in Tortilla.

'Hmm. This is a nice place,' Will said.

'Yes, yes. A lovely place. No man ever feels unwanted here,' Jack said as a man ran past screaming followed by an angry mob wielding explosives.

Then they went to the pigsty. There was Mr Gibbs, who had been chucked out of the navy after he threw Norrington in the ocean (he was drunk at the time). Norrington couldn't actually swim, which was why everyone took it so badly.

Jack chucked some water at him. So did Will, who was very hyper by this time.

'Will!' Jack scolded. 'How many times? We don't eat Fruit Loops. They have too much sugar in.'

Will burst into hysterical sobbing and ran into the door several times.

'C'mon, mate,' Jack said to Gibbs. 'Lets get down the pub.'