Chapter 2

The six friends sat in the Great Hall at the Gryffindor table waiting for the sorting ceremony to be over so that the feast could begin. James looked around at his friends and smiled. This would be the last ceremony that they would be at together. Sirius was obviously not listening, but was paying rather a lot of attention to the plates. He had a look of longing on his face. 'Padfoot, always bloody hungry, has to be eating something.'

Next his gaze fell on Roxie. She was half listening to the ceremony but every now and then her gaze would fall on to Sirius. James smirked, 'I'll be keeping an eye on this development.' He thought slyly.

He then looked at Jess. She had her finders entwined with Remus's. James lifted an eye brow. 'I'll ask about that one later.'

Then he noticed that Remus was watching the ceremony with all of his attention. Lily, Lily was also watching the ceremony as if entranced by it. Her emerald eyes sparkled with the thousands of candles that floated in the air. A soft golden halo shone in her hair, her pale complexion had a soft glow to it. James felt his stomach constrict. 'Merlin she's beautiful. Her skin looks so soft, and her eyes just sparkle. And she's clever. She's everything I want. But everything I can't have.' He thought sadly. If only he hadn't done that to her back in fourth year, if only he had been mature enough to know that girls like Lily didn't go for attention seeking idiots like he was…and in her opinion still is. She went for romance, and sweet gestures. He had blown that in fourth year.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~flash back~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey Prongsie, how do you think wizards came to being? I mean, what came first, the muggle or the wizard?" Sirius and James were laying on their beds just chilling out. They were both in a slightly euphoric state after Amos Diggory had let them come out with the other seventh years for their first ever blaze.

"Woah, that's deep Pads, real deep. I mean, yeah, I'm so with you on that one." James replied, not really caring what he was saying. I mean come on! He was stoned! Who cares if it makes sense as long as it makes sense to him?! Sirius started to chuckle, so did James. Ten minutes later they were still chuckling.

"Man I feel good. We should go out with Diggory more often. I just feel so good, you know? Just good, I mean my life is good, I have good friends, I go to a good school, and I have good looking girls throwing themselves at me, but I'm in love so, you know, its all good."

Sirius looked at James with glazed eyes and burst out laughing. "Mate! You must have just said 'good' about a million times! You classic!" Sirius said, still laughing.

James guffawed. "You know, I think you're right! Anyway, what do you think about Evans?" He asked.

Sirius sat up faster then a speeding bullet. "What you mean Little Miss Know-it-all Evans, with the cool red hair that has the potential to be hot but blows it because it's like she has a broomstick permanently lodged up her arse? That Evans?" said Sirius in all modestly.

"That's the one." Replied James in a dream like state without a hint of remorse of what his best friend had just said.

"I mean yeah, she's a bit up tight but, I really think she's beautiful and well, she's great. I'm so in love with her." He trailed off into a dream world thinking about Lily when Sirius burst out.

"WHAT!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LOVE HER? ARE YOU SURE IT'S NOT JUST THE BUD TALKING?"

"No way man, I've been thinking about this for a while. Ever since I saw her on the train in first year I've wanted her. I think it's the bud that's actually made me realise the extent of how deep I care for her." James sighed. What chance did a Marauder have with an academic like Lily… 'Except for maybe Remus.'

"Well, I reckon you're in luck. Guess what I overheard Roxie, Lily and Jess talking about earlier in charms?" said Sirius. James cocked an eyebrow in reply. "That Lily's ideal bloke is…" he cleared his throat and put on an extremely high voice. " 'James Potter but with a sensitive side' Sensitive my foot! What she really needs a damn good shagging. And I'm not talking about your every day, run of the mill wham bam thank you ma'am, I'm talking about wham bam thank you ma'am lets do that again, kind of thing."

James laughed at his friend. "Okay Sirius, three things. One. Not all of us have lost it already. As much as I wish it wasn't so, I am still a virgin. Two. I don't think Lily would fall for that and three. If you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly that most sensitive guy, but from this moment I want to be. Help me Sirius!"

Sirius laughed and told him a plan. James liked it and set to it straight away. He staggered out of the room with a letter he had written to Lily. He put folded it into a paper aeroplane and charmed it to fly to Lily while trailing a path of lily flower petals. He then ran up to the astronomy tower and launched the paper. It immediately flew to Lily, petals going everywhere.

Ten minutes later the tower door creaked open. James spun and swayed a bit. His eyes still glazed from the smoking. "Wait…you're not Lily. You're Sasha Smith." A girlish giggle came from the other side of the room. Sasha Smith was a busty fifth year from Slytherin that had one hell of a reputation. Apparently she'd sleep with anything that had a pulse. James gave his lopsided grin. "You didn't see a red head on your way up, did you?" Sasha shook her head. James blinked, he hadn't realised that she was that close. I mean he could feel her breath mingling with his and her hand on his…oh god! That was turning him on. He closed his eyes and slightly pushed out his crotch to inflict more contact. She was feeling him through his robes. Her long nails provoking a tickling sensation.

"You like that baby?" James just shuddered in response as he felt her hot breath on his neck.

She smirked. She started to place feather light kisses all over his neck, he groaned, she smiled into his neck and bit down, hard. James cried out in pain but let her carry on all the same. He was so turned on and it didn't look like Lily was going to show now so well, what the hell?

He yanked her back by her hair, looked into her eyes and then crashed his lips on top of her. She replied with just as much lust. Immediately his hand snaked under her robes and shirt and to her chest.

James groaned, she wasn't wearing a bra. James caressed her breasts letting his thumbs sweep over her erect nipples. In response she pushed him to the floor and got on top of him. She started to grind her hips into his arousal. James bit his lip to stifle a whimper at the bottom of his throat. "Too many…take them off…free me." James manages to mutter a few words while the rest was all a bit too incoherent.

Sasha got the drift and slid down his body. She undid the button of his trousers with nimble hands, but did the fly with her teeth. He felt her hot breath on his arousal which made it harden even more if that was possible. When the trousers were around his knees she trailed hot kisses back up his thighs.

She pulled down his boxers to free his erection. James sighed from the relief. Sasha crawled up his body, her hot breath getting closer to the tip of his arousal when…

"WHAT ON EARTH! JAMES! I CAN'T BELIEVE…WHAT ARE YOU?" Lily took a deep breath and carried on. "DID YOU TRICK ME TO COME UP HERE JUST SO THAT YOU COULD SHOW ME YOU GETTING SOME FROM THAT…THAT…SLUT?!" she screamed.

James pushed Sasha off of him and hastily pulled up his boxers and trousers. His hardness had completely depleted. "Lily, no that's not it…I can explain." He stuttered.

"Explain then." She said in a cold voice. James shuddered.

"Well, you see, it's just that, Sirius overheard you, Jess and Roxie in charms and well I really like you so I thought that I could show you that I can be sensitive." He said quietly while slowly walking towards her. Sasha sat in the room watching with amusement.

Lily's eyes filled with tears. She took a deep breath as if to steady her nerves. "You mean that this was meant to show that you were sensitive? I'm sorry James but if you think that this is a way to win a girls heart then you really are a sick twisted individual…"

"No! NO! This wasn't how it was suppose to turn out! But you see that, well, after a while you didn't turn up and well, Sasha did and…" James was about to carry on but was shocked into silence when he looked up to see silent tears burning their path down Lily's cheeks.

"You mean to say that as I didn't come quick enough to see you, you decided to settle with a cheap bitch that would as gladly give you head as give a teacher an assignment. And after this letter I thought I could trust you. Thank you James. Thank you for opening my eyes to let me see who you really are." Lily spoke softly in a strangled voice, hurt shining in her eyes.

"Lily, no that's not what I…please, I beg you listen to me." He begged, but to no avail.

"No James. You've opened my eyes, you can't shut them now. Not now, not never."

"But-"

"Never." And with that Lily walked out the room. And hasn't said as much as a whole sentence to him since.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Flash back~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

James felt the stinging in the back of his eyes that he hadn't felt for a while. Ever since the Snivellus incident he hadn't thought of that night. But now he did, it hurt just as much as before. In fact, he felt kind of guilty that he hadn't thought about it. Which just added to the pain.

"Yo James! Are you okay man? I mean that's the second time you've zoned out today." Sirius was waving a hand in James face.

"Ugh…what? Oh shit, yeah! Sorry, just well tired I guess. Hey Moony, what's the password? I'm really not that hungry. I just need to sleep." Remus turned around to face James from his conversation with Jess.

"It's Gillyweed. Are you sure you're feeling okay Prongs?" He asked concernedly.

"Just got a head ache, that's all. Look, I'll see you guys in the morning." And with that he got up and walked out of the hall. Before he turned out of the doors he looked back. Lily was watching him with a confused expression on her face. He turned away quickly not wanting anyone to see the glimmer in his eyes as he remembered the pain he had caused the only girl he had ever loved.

A/N

Woah! Emotions running high in that one! I was going to make it longer buuuuut then I thought I should just hold on a bit! So…Love it? Hate it? All comments and criticisms appreciated! I'll try to respond to any revises/     e-mails I get asap!

Lola Grace: hey! Thanx for the review! Is this lay out better? Personally I think it is! You going to give me an ego!

Honeybunn3993: Yo! Thanx for the feed back! Made me feel wanted! *sniffs* LOL!