Yay! A new reviewer! Whee!

Bokuden: The characters from DBZ are going to be passive reference for the most part, bit characters at best. In fact, in the entire story they get about one paragraph, and it's solely Goku and Gohan. So don't fret! [impish grin] I prefer Ranma and YYH, anyway. Thank you very much for reviewing, and please remember, this is a fanfic. A writer named Jeffrey 'Oneshot' Wong has Ranma go through so much he even ends up being God for a little while. (There's a scary thought for you…¬.¬! ) Last time I checked, he had around half a dozen animes crossed into his 'Just Won't Die' series. Gods, but that took forever to read all of it.

Starling: Now if we can just get past the record of three reviews for one chapter, we'll be doing good. [looks over at Niana, who is surrounded by sparkles] Ah, my creator. The eternal optimist.

Chapter 21: Map to Anywhere

============================

"Small spider weave on silver sleeve;

Oh weave your grey web nearer.

Let your silk hang down from golden crown;

For lost, lost, lost is the wearer."

From Spindle's End by Robin McKinley

Cologne stares at the package just delivered in the mail with utter disbelief. Nestled in a tube postmarked China and with brown paper packed around it is a scroll made of very heavy, almost oily parchment painted on with natural dyes. Shakily she unrolls it, and her breath quickens with a hint of fear.

Spread on the table before her is a map. And not just any map. A map that is not supposed to exist. It is a map that charts out every single trap and monster guarding the path to the source of Jusenkyo. She jumps at the sound of the doorbell and hastily rolls the map back up with a flick of her staff, tucking it into her robe's pcoket-space and pogo-ing up to the front.

A rather annoyed Rei is all that meets her eyes, the girl busily tying her apron on and binding her hair back into a severe braid. There is a faint scent of burning wood around her, like a new perfume or as though she's sat downwind of a campfire for a while, and Cologne recognizes it as the scent of suppressed rage. One snowy eyebrow goes up.

"If you'll excuse the phrase, Rei dear, what's gotten your tail into a twist this time?" For some reason those emerald eyes flick behind her in a reflexive gesture before the girl's shoulders rise and fall in an enigmatic shrug.

"Someone decided to turn my room into a war zone. It took me a total of two days to get it cleaned up, and I've just finished repairs. Luckily I had the others to help me." With a final, vicious tug at the end of her braid Rei scoops up a few menus and goes to wait by the door for the first trickle of the afternoon rush. Cologne makes a decision.

"Rei, would you come into the back room with me for a moment? Xian Pu can take care of the customers for a few minutes, I should think." Startled out of her anger for a moment, Rei sets her menus down and follows the diminutive woman into the back. She seats herself at Cologne's imperative gesture and gazes steadfastly at the Amazon Elder. Without any flourishes, Cologne draws the map from her pocket-space and unrolls it on the table.

Rei's turn to make a decision, and she gives in to the temptation. "So the Guide got it to you in short order, I see. Always nice to have people obey your orders," she says dryly, tracing a purple compass-mark near the end of the dotted line with a delicate fingertip. Cologne's eyes, already round enough as it is, get even wider in disbelief.

"You?? You are--"

"Elder Ku Lon, I would appreciate it if you would not shout that particular title of mine to the entire city block," Rei interrupts coldly before that word can be spoken. "The Meddler's agents are everywhere, and it's difficult enough to guard against their interference as it is. Yes, I am Fate," she adds more calmly, quietly. "Yes, I was the one who confronted Sa Fu Lon on the walk six-and-a-half weeks ago. I came here specifically because of this." Her fingertip taps the map beneath her hand lightly, making a slight tik-tik-tik sound. "Or rather, what would happen because of this."

"And what will happen?" Cologne asks, regaining her wits and her composure in a remarkably short amount of time.

"If the catalyst fails?" Rei stares off into the space above Cologne's head, seeing in her own mind what her deck and the Threads have told her. "It will be the end of Jusenkyo, the end of the Amazons, and a large number of martial artists who are going to be needed even more about two to three decades down the road. But if the catalyst, against all odds and hopes, actually succeeds; it will resolve quite a number of loose threads--" her mouth twists wryly at the unthinking choice of words "--here in Nerima. And the focus of it all is a single, fragile mortal." She snorts, rolling the map back up and handing it to Cologne with a slight bow. "Although he'd be very put out if I called him fragile to his face."

She rises and walks for the hallway, to be paused by a dread-filled question. "Who is the catalyst?"

Rei looks over her shoulder with an expression of keen disappointment and disapproval. "Elder Ku Lon, if you have to ask me that, then you obviously have not been paying enough attention to the people around you. I should think you know exactly who I'm talking about." And she walks out, the scent of burnt wood--a rough guess would be pine--wafting through the air around her once again, now that the distraction of the map has been dealt with.

Cologne sits down hard in the chair that Rei has just vacated, a hint of ancient power that feels as though it has passed through many hands--though how the Elder can tell that, she is unable to explain even to herself--still clinging like cobweb to the wood, and just stares at nothing while trying to come to terms with these new revelations.

("I cannot believe it,") she murmurs to herself in Mandarin. ("That Fate is working as a waitress is plausible enough--this is Nerima, after all--but that so many people depend on that reckless, stubborn, brash boy? Can so much truly hinge on Son-in-law??")

===

"At-choo!" A certain pig-tailed martial artist sneezes violently, causing the short-haired girl beside him to look over with mildly curious brown eyes.

"You okay, Ranma?" Nabiki questions him as he rubs his nose and returns his attention to his homework. He'd get this math thing if it kills him, damn it.

"Yeah. Prob'ly just someone talkin' about me again. Do you know how to solve this one, Nabiki?"

===

"How many days?" Cologne asks Rei when she finally emerges from the back room into the bustling dining room. Green eyes meet…erm…old eyes grimly. [Starling: does she even have an eye color?]

"Counting today, we have three days left before Sa Fu Lon comes for what the Guide gave you. Whatever you do, do not give it to him willingly." Somehow, Rei has managed to pitch her voice so that it only reaches Cologne. When the tiny old woman raises a questioning eyebrow, the corners of Rei's mouth turn upwards ever-so-slightly. "Anything-Goes School of Ventriloquism. Useful, I've found."

===

Back at the Tendo Dojo, the now-much-busier phone rings once, twice, thrice, and is picked up by a changed Soun. Gone is the air of apathy he once wore as a ratty cloak. Now, life glows in the depths of his eyes, and the man stands much taller than he did less than two months ago.

"Tendo residence," he says into the receiver. He listens a few moments to the person on the other end, and begins to look concerned. "I understand. Now here is what I'd like for you to do…"

===

"Showtime," Kohaku whispers to Masaya from their crouch on the rooftop of the building across from the Neko-Hanten. Two days have passed, and Saffron and his crew have arrived, never noticing the two young teens kissing on the roof (The two had actually been fighting over the last piece of jerky like a couple of pups). Masaya nods sourly, watching his friend chew on the jerky with an air of concentrated pleasure despite the seriousness of the scene below. Rei is in their heads, keeping them informed from her place beside Cologne.

-Okay, brat's telling her how his informants have tracked the map here. I want to find out who he's using for informants, they're almost as good as Nabiki's…-

-Info, Kasai! Keep your mind on your work!- Kalerian jerks her back on track. Embarrassment colors her thoughts dark pink.

-Gomen. Brat's demanding the map now, Ku Lon's refused him. Cue Ranma!- Kohaku tugs lightly on the brilliant cerulean blue/orange Thread wrapped around her fingers, sending a silent call out along its metaphysical length. Ranma appears at the end of the street, sauntering along, and catches sight of the Cat Café. Since Shampoo's cut back a bit on chasing him, he's been more inclined to stop by for a meal now and again, which makes Shampoo perfectly happy to stop chasing him if this is the result. She still glomps me now and again, though, Ranma thinks sourly as he walks inside and winds up face to face with Kiima.

Blink. Blink. Ranma peers around her to find a rather edgy Cologne and a perfectly calm Rei--who still looks like she wants to slam her serving tray down on Saffron's spoiled head. Shampoo is on the other side of her great-grandmother looking defensive, and Mousse is beside her, hands tucked in his sleeves and no doubt running fingers over the multitude of weapons he has stashed in them.

"Hey, ol' ghoul, who're these bird-brains?"

"Show some respect, Son-in-law," Cologne tells him tersely. "You stand in front of the Emperor of Phoenix Mountain."

"Uh, who?" Ranma questions blankly. While everyone else stares at him in disbelief, Rei catches his eye and taps her right bicep. Right where Kalerian carries a feather-shaped scar. Understanding lights in his smoke-colored eyes, and he glares around indiscriminately. "Oh. Now I get it. The idiot who got one o' my best friends nearly killed. So where is the idiot so I can flatten him?" Rei rolls her in a 'now you've done it' gesture as a slightly-taller Saffron pushes through the wall of body-guards and stares fearlessly up at the much bigger and upset martial artist.

"I am Emperor Saffron, ruler of Phoenix Mountain," he pipes in his serious voice. Ranma rakes him up and down once or twice with startled eyes before he bursts out laughing. He abruptly stops to dodge three of the bodyguards' strikes.

"Hey, now, can I help it if your king's a pipsqueak?" Rei bows her head with a rather large sweatdrop dangling by it. Things are going about what she expected, but to have it actually happen is kind of painful to watch.

"Do not insult our god!" Kiima snaps at him, brandishing a sword and giving him a death glare. Ranma's eyebrow goes up.

"God? Psh. Yeah, right. No such thing." And he carelessly walks past her over to Rei and gives her puppy-dog eyes. "Reii-chaan, I'm staaarving! Feed me, pretty pretty please?" Rei gives him a hopelessly amused/exasperated smile while the Phoenix people face-fault and restrains herself from twitching and 'accidentally' smacking the baka upside the head.

"For pity's sake, Ranma, act your age. Come on and follow me into the kitchen. Higher Ups forbid you go and stick your foot in your mouth again before we get food into it. (Elder Ku Lon, you will be alright?)" she adds in Mandarin as she pushes Ranma ahead of her into the kitchen.

("Just fine, Rei. Get him out of here before he does something even more stupid.")

"Hai." And the two disappear into the kitchen. Cologne turns back to Saffron and bows while still balanced on her staff.

("My apologies, Emperor-sama. Son-in-law is not accustomed to showing respect to anyone.")

("Arrogant little prick,") the boy-king mutters to himself, hardly paying attention to the white-haired woman. ("Who is that?")

("That's my fiancée, Emperor Saffron, sir") Shampoo says with pride. ("He's defeated me more than once and has learned every technique he's set his mind to in under a week.")

("I wouldn't be so pleased about having a fool for a husband, silly little Amazon,") Kiima replies sharply. ("Now about that map, Elder Ku Lon.")

("I'll tell you again, you are looking in the wrong place. I have no map leading to Jusenkyo or its source.")

("Our agents tracked it here. They dare not lie.")

(Perhaps they and you have been misinformed. I repeat: I do not have the map you seek.")

("Very well, Elder Ku Lon. We will take our leave. If you do come across such a map, do let us know,") Saffron commands before turning and leaving the building. Once he and the rest of his party are outside, Rei pokes her head around the kitchen door and lets her fox-apparition side sharpen her hearing, which results in her human ears suddenly having points.

Putting a finger to her lips for silence, she listens to the boy-king's orders to his followers. ("Kiima, you stay here and spy on these stupid ningen. They have the map, I can sense it. Everyone else, it's time we go home. I do not wish another encounter with that Fate-woman if we are a day or two too early.") Kiima bows and vanishes into the shadows, the rest of the Phoenix people take off into the skies. Rei sighs quietly and lets her ears return to normal.

"Kiima's outside listening, Ku Lon-san. Now?"

"Now, Rei-san." Wordlessly Rei signals to her other selves up on the rooftop and in the kitchen, Kalerian having kept Ranma quiet by the simple means of giving him food and pretending to be a temporary cook while Shampoo's father was off on a trip.

Three teens materialize in the dining room of the Cat Café, as serious as Rei and for all the same reasons, all three on one knee, balancing with the opposite knuckles, heads bowed. "Your orders, Rei-san?" they all chorus. Rei once again falls into the silent and untappable channel of telepathy only these four teens share. But for the sake of Kiima, still spying outside, she uses a completely nonsense language of hand-signals.

-Mizu, I want you to track the little bird outside. She's not going to give up easily and I want to know just what she can use to communicate with her lord.- Kalerian nods and snaps out, a whirl of air swirling where he stood. -Kaze, I want you to follow after the bird-king, keep track of him. Muddle communications if you can.- Kohaku bows her head further and vanishes, leaving only Masaya before a Rei who has drawn her power around her like a cloak. "Horse, you and I are going to go to the map's hiding place and draw it out, so I suggest you change. Ku Lon-san, we will be back shortly." She snaps her fingers, but instead of disappearing, her clothing bursts into smoke and reforms into a wine-red ninja's costume, without the face-concealing mask and dancing the razor's edge of clashing with her crimson hair. Masaya has already changed into a green version of the costume, and he rises and bows to Rei.

"When you are ready, Rei-san." Rei nods sharply and they dart out of the Café, startling Kiima when they look directly at her hiding place as they pass and taking to the rooftops for the sake of speed. With a glare Kiima leaps after them, folding her wings against her back until they vanish into the bird-folk's own version of the pocket-space, her clawed hands of no concern of hers.

Ahead of her, Rei pulls out a small walkie-talkie and turns it on, holding it up to her mouth. Kiima strains to hear what the accursed human girl says, but it's impossible. She would have been furious if she had heard. "Mizu, did she fall for it?"

"Hook, line, and sinker, Rei. She's looking mighty miffed that she's had to debase herself by following without flying," is the amused reply from the walkie-talkie's speaker. "Ku Lon's already gathering the other fighters from around here and is handing out pieces of the map and explanations."

-Kaze?-

-Hells if I can tell what he's using. They might have a link like ours for all I know. Try using a Thread or something, sister.-

-I'm not resorting to that until I absolutely have to, Kaze. Keep trying.-

-Hai.- The three others can feel Kohaku seal her end of the link shut, effectively closing them out for the time being. A few moments pass with nothing but the sounds of their passage.

"Breaker, breaker," Kalerian says jokingly from the walkie-talkie. "Rei-chan, you hear me?"

"Hai," Rei says. "Been listening into the trucker conversations, I see."

"Heh-heh, yeah. Ol' ghoul's--ow!"

"Show some respect to Ku Lon, baka," Masaya tells the water-fighter after grabbing the walkie-talkie from Rei. "At least while you're in range of that staff. So what's up?"

"Ow, geeze, that woman packs a whallop," is the pained mutter before Kalerian speaks louder. "Elder Ku Lon--see, happy?--has finished handing out the goodies and is waiting for your return. My shadow-self's still tailing her pretty close, so I can still see the chicky-brained ijit--ouch! That wasn't directed at you! Ow! Rei, hurry up and get this evil spirit away from me! Ow! Ouch! Over."

Laughing, Masaya looks over at his running companion and grins. "Guess we better go rescue the 'ijit', huh?"

"Right," Rei laughs, and the two drop down to street level long enough for Rei to use sleight-of-hand to make it appear as though she'd pulled an ancient scroll from a hidden space in a brick wall. Neither hole nor scroll is actually there, and only adds to the pair's amusement when they flash past an utterly-fooled Kiima, racing each other back towards the Neko-Hanten.

By the time she arrives, puffing and hot, back to her first hiding place, all Kiima sees are Rei, Cologne, Shampoo, and Mousse sitting quietly in the dining room, sipping tea and playing a game of Mandarin Scrabble. Kalerian is slouched in a chair next to Rei, pouting, several bandages covering welts on his head. He shoots an occasional dark glance over in Cologne's direction, or possibly the staff leaned against her chair.

Kiima can't take it anymore. With an angry screech, she stalks into the dining room and confronts the five, glaring indiscriminately around her. "Where is it??" she demands furiously. Rei simply takes a sip of her tea and smiles, leaning back in her chair and tipping her head over the low back, ending up looking at the winged woman upside down.

"Where's what, Kiima-chaan?" she drawls lazily. "Oh, you mean the map."

"Yes, I mean the map you arrogant little ningen onna! Now give it to me before I rip you into pieces!" She ignores the doubtful snort from Kalerian and the 'yeah, right' looks from the Chinese teenagers. Rei simply smiles, still with her head angled all the way back.

"I'm afraid we don't have it anymore. It's in pieces all over the city. We want to know if you can find them."

"Hell," Kalerian mutters, "I want to know if she can get all of 'em. Doesn't do her much good just to find them."

Confused, her mantled wings lower of their own accord and she looks at each of them. "What are you fools talking about?"

"Oh, you'll love this, Kiima-chicky," Kalerian says, dodging another swipe from Cologne's staff and glaring at the tiny old woman. "We gave bits and pieces of that map to every single martial artist in this entire city. That's at least two to three dozen people, and few of them are any kind of pushover." All four teens look at each other and think 'Kuno'. "We're the only ones who don't have any pieces. That map you saw Rei pull was a dummy, so duh, it ain't gonna help you much."

Kiima visibly twitches, all her attention caught on the first part of his little speech. "You…what??"

Rei straightens her neck and looks over at Shampoo. "Pretty slow, isn't she?"

"Ai-yah. Shampoo thought Phoenix peoples smarter than that." The green-haired boy sighs.

"Xian Pu, remember your pronouns and sentence structure lessons, please." A sheepish smile from the Amazon girl.

"Sorry, Kalerian." Meanwhile, the ignored Kiima has been growing steadily more furious and frustrated at this whole lot of smart-assed ningens, and at last she reaches the end of her limited store of patience. With an ear-piercing shriek of utter fury, she launches herself at the closest target--who, unfortunately for the angry woman, is Rei.

The until-now noticeably absent Happosai chooses that time to 'stroll' [cough 'run from the female lynch mob' cough] past the Cat Café, doubtless hoping to catch a glimpse--or cop a feel--of his luscious Shampoo while staying ahead of his 'fan-club' and carrying his new ill-gotten pretties to safety. What he gets, instead, is a mouth-watering exotic winged woman practically launching herself at him straight through the Caf's display window. Of course, Kiima doesn't have much of a choice when a serenely-smiling Rei chucks her through it in the first place.

"Darling!" the aged lecher cries joyfully, somehow managing to catch the unlucky Kiima and setting her on her feet. For a moment, the Phoenix woman appears to be reconsidering the use of ningens, males anyway, when Happy undoes all that hard work and attaches himself to her chest. With an indignant screech out of reflex that nearly shatters the remaining windows on the entire street, Kiima gives Happosai another opportunity to view the world from Lower Atmospheric Orbit, scattering his collection all over the sidewalk at the same time.

The crowd of angry women that had been following the surprisingly-fast pervert collect their undergarments with a sense of righteous justice and go on their way; leaving a panting Kiima to regather her wits and her dignity and remember just why the hell she went through a window to be pawed by a perverted old human man--insult to injury!--in the first place.

The scolding voice of Cologne on the subject of the broken window seems to remind the winged woman of the frighteningly calm teenager, and she elects that discretion is the better part of valor, choosing to go hunt for the map pieces instead of seeing that empty smiling face again.

That arrogantly stupid boy that was at the Café earlier…she'd bet anything by the way he moved that he is one of the piece-bearing martial artists. Perhaps she should try finding him, first…

===================

This is going to be the last chapter for the next few days. Besides the fact that I'm working a regular job, I'm also volunteering at the food booth my youth group (Rainbow Girls, for anyone who's curious--and no, we are not affiliated in any way with G.P. We're kinda like Girl Scouts, but more adult, more formal, and we do a lot more charity work) runs every year at the Marin County Fair with the help of the Masons, and my 20th birthday is on Monday. W00t!