A Mercenary's Tale - Chapter Seven
How I murdered Rancor Maria..
I felt myself being pushed into the arena. I landed face first on the dirty, muddy ground and I dreaded pulling myself up to face my opponent. All around the arena pit I could hear the cheers of dirty scoundrels, willing either one of us on. Of course, they did not care that someone was going to lose their life, they only cared that they won their bet. I got onto my feet and glanced at the Hutt whose fault this was. Urna the Hutt just laughed at my predicament.
I entered a battle stance and readied my vibroblade, glancing at my attacker. My attacker was none other than Maria. This was a fight to the death and one of us had to die. We began fighting, our blades clanging against each other. Our minds were not in this fight, we didn't want to kill each other. It was different now, we were partners. Even though I was angered for everything she had done to me, I didn't want to kill the person who was leading me and Rivu on an adventure of a life time.
So we fought that way, carefully. Maria was trying to pretend that she was intent on killing me, but truth be known, she wasn't. I tried to return my blows as vehemently as I could without making a mistake and hurting Maria. "One of us has to die, Jaro!" She exclaimed to me, just loud enough so that I would be the only person to hear.
"No.. No there has to be another way." I replied in utter disbelief, swinging my sword at her. Maria caught my blow close to her neck and we were inches away from each others faces, "Look, we can make a plan.. One of us doesn't have to die, Maria." I added in sorrow and despair.
"I'm sorry, there's no other way." Maria replied. I stared at her and she returned the glance. I shook my head at her, breaking my concentration which was just enough for Maria to disarm me. I fell to my knees, awaiting my death but Maria looked stunned. The Rancor obviously didn't mean to disarm me, she didn't even want to kill me. Maria's eyes widened and she shot me a desperate look, begging me to do something to stop her from having to make a final blow.
I done the only thing I could.
I charged Maria down and we both landed on the floor. I was on top of Maria now and managed to wrestle the vibroblade out of her hand, "For a second I thought we would both end up dead.." Maria muttered at me. I just gazed at her, my looks must have appeared torn and frightful. This was one of the most terrifying things I'd been forced to do in all my life. I tried desperately not to hurt her whilst I was wrestling with her. I dwarfed Maria in comparison to strength but she was extremely agile and I had no doubt she would be able to get out of my strong arms.
"Jaro. I need you to keel over and crawl to your vibroblade while I retrieve mine." Maria whispered to me, I looked at her in surprise and felt her knee pressed against my crotch. I suddenly understood that I either acted it out, or I actually did end up in massive pain.
I chose to act it out.
I keeled over on the floor in pain and groaned as Maria scampered off untidily for her vibroblade. I watched as she tripped over, probably to buy me some time. I started to crawl towards my own vibroblade when my eyes caught Rivu's shocked figure up above the pit.
Rivu's eyes were prickling with unshed tears. She was obviously feeling grief, watching me and Maria having to fight to the death like this. However, I didn't want Rivu to give up hope. I looked at her and put on a brave face, giving her a small wink. I retrieved my vibroblade and stood up when my eyes caught sight of *another* familiar face.
Canderous.
Canderous was armed to the hilt in a Mandalorian war suit apart from a helmet. He was grimacing at me in absolute disgust and when he realised that I was staring at him, he laughed. I watched him for a second or two, as he raised his heavy repeater up towards his chest and remained stony faced, ever staring at the fight. I wondered what business he had here and if I'd ever get to live to see it.
I got onto my feet and watched as Maria entered a battle stance. I had no option but to return the favour and again, we charged into a fight. Our blades rained down against each others in some kind of paradoxial careful frenzy. Maria and I duelled this way for a considerable amount of time before I lost my concentration and felt her blade slice through my arm. I winced as the wound oozed blood. The situation was getting drastic and something had to be done.
I switched the blade to my other hand and went on with the fight. Maria's strokes were a lot calmer now, weary of the wound she just gave me. Sparks flew from our blades as the metal smashed against each other time and again until I left myself wide open for attack, my blade held close to my torso. What happened next, would change everything, forever. Maria, darted forward only for my blade to seriously injure her.
I watched as Maria stared at me in utter surprise, falling to her knees and rasping for breath. My jaw could only drop in surprise, I didn't know how I should feel, I felt my eyes well up with tears of regret and sorrow. Maria's eyes rolled to the back of her head and she crumpled up upon the muddy ground, lifelessly.
Maria Mortis was dead, and I was her murderer.
I fell to my knees and dropped my blade, looking at her body in disbelief..
***
"Well done, Jaro" Urna the Hutt informed me. I just bowed my head in disgust at what I had just done. "But I'm afraid I can't let you go since you are now my prized possession and best warrior." Urna added with a cruel laugh. I just glared at her, how dare she? How dare she lie like that and force me to kill Maria?!
"You deserve to die.." I muttered to Urna vengefully.
"We all have to die someday." Urna replied. "Take him back to the cells!" Urna added, ordering two Mercenary's to attach themselves to either side of my body.
"I swear I'll kill you." I spat at her vengefully, resisting my assailants. "I swear I'll avenge Maria's death!" I screamed in despair.
"Why when you are the one who killed her?" Urna asked. Before I could reply I was knocked out and dragged to my holding cell.
***
I awoke lying in my cell. I was dazed but I still remembered how much filth I was for killing Maria. I didn't even mean to do it, but it still made me a cold hearted murderer. Tears slid down my cheeks, as I remembered her falling onto her knees, her eyes begging me, asking me why I had to kill her. I curled up on the cold, damp ground of my dark cell and brought my knees up to my chest. I tensed every muscle in anger and hate for myself and wept senselessly.
I never ever meant to hurt her.
***
Wind whistled past my ears and bathed my face softly as I opened my eyes. I was greeted by a wonderful crimson sky and I groaned softly as I sat up. I was greeted by many pairs of legs, all women's. I raised my head and squinted from the bright light shining in my eyes. I was greeted by Morgana, Revan, Bastila and Maria. Each woman's pair of eyes were focused on me and my now alert form.
I just stared at each and every one of them, not knowing what to do and then Morgana spoke, "When you are ready, come to speak to us." I looked at them all puzzledly as they took a final look at me and walked off in different directions. I felt grass under my palms and looked at the ground. The grass was green and fertile and to say the least, extremely colourful. Shades of pink and yellow jumped out and attracted my eyes, they danced under the bright light that bathed this mysterious place.
I gazed at my surroundings and took note of where all the women had gone. Morgana was sitting on the grass, running her fingers through the sharp, thin blades. I turned my head slightly to the right and saw Revan, sitting on a wooden bench. She was staring into space somewhat sadly. I turned my head even further to the right and saw a giant tree of some description. The leaves that hung from the thick twigs and bark were of a golden and silver colour, something magnificent to look upon. On either side of the three was Bastila and Maria. Bastila had her arms folded, looking as prideful as ever. Maria was playing with the grass, innocently, but I knew that she was a vicious woman inside.
I raised myself to my feet and decided it would be best if I talked to each woman in chronological order. I wanted to get the hardest two out of the way anyway. I walked towards Morgana, who didn't seem to show her awareness of me approaching. I sat down beside her, "What am I?" I asked her.
"You are Carth Onasi, my first and only husband, the father of Dustil Onasi." Morgana replied, looking away from my face.
"Where did I go wrong?" I asked Morgana.
"You didn't go wrong, you never failed. I told you this before, what's so hard to believe?" She replied to me, rhetorically.
I stared at her and realised I had no idea what to say. I promptly left Morgana to her own devices and strolled towards Revan. I sat on the bench next to her, "Who am I?" I asked. Revan stayed quiet, her eyes never faltering on whatever she was focusing on in the distance. I waved my hand past her eyes a few times until I broke her concentration. She turned to look at me, a questionable look in her eyes. "Who am I?" I asked her again.
"A non-entity in my life." She replied. I watched as Revan got up and walked away, disappearing mysteriously in the distance.
I got to my feet again and walked towards Bastila. "Who am I?" I asked her. Bastila gave me a cocky look before answering.
"You are Carth Onasi. The imbecile that was an Admiral aboard Revan's flagship." Bastila stated to me in arrogance. I stared at her aloof figure and decided that Bastila was not the person I was looking for and she was certainly not going to give me the answers I desired.
I walked around the other side of the tree, resting my palm on the rough bark. Maria was sitting there, toying with the grass. "Maria, who am I?" I asked her. The shock of my voice broke Maria's concentration and she raised her head to stare at me.
"You are Jaro Kep, we were partners.. Sort of." She replied to me. I nodded in her direction before taking a deep breath.
"I failed you." I stated to her.
"You never failed me.. I failed myself." She muttered in response.
***
I woke up to the sound of nothing but the emptiness of my soul and the damp of the cold floor. I wanted to yawn, sigh, do anything that would take my mind from everything, from the weird dream I just had. In the end, everything was null, it was nothing, nothing mattered. Nothing mattered to me when all I could do was mess up, why should it? At that moment, I wished for nothing more than to be able to end my life, or for Revan to come, to come and take me away and tell me she loves me.
Tell me she'll never leave me.
But I doubted then, doubted it would ever happen. The only thing I could think of was Maria, and her ever untimely death. All I could wonder and ponder about was the way my vibroblade sliced through her petite figure, ending her young life.
Or did it?
I tried to look back and remember all the events. It seemed like an eternity ago since she fell to the ground, her eyes fixed on mine. Asking me, begging me why. It seemed like an eternity ago that I curled up on the ground like a mere foetus and cried myself to sleep.
I tried to think harder, let my mind wander even more. I knew the answer was there, somewhere. Then I saw it, did I really imagine it? Was it really a figment of my delusional and paranoid imagination?
No.
Was it a figment of my hopeful imagination?
I could only but hope so.
I looked back, concentrating hard on the battle stance we were in just before I struck her down. My vibroblade was positioned closely to my body, away from Maria. With Maria's skill, I doubt she would walk into my blade. No.
No, wait! She *did* walk into my blade!
It's the only explanation!
But why did she throw herself onto my blade?
To my knowledge, she had no reason to be sad enough to want to commit suicide.
But on the outside, do I look like I have a reason to be sad? Do I look like I have a reason to be suicidal? No. I don't believe I do, but it doesn't stop me from thinking those thoughts for every passing moment, every passing *breath* I *breathe* without Revan!
I wouldn't let it beat me though.
I had to live on, I had to pass this test.
I have wronged so many people, done so many things I hate and wished I'd never done. This almost topped it all, even if Maria was only doing it to end her own life and wished no blame on me, it was still my fault.
It was always my fault.
If I had talked to her, if I had made her see that it wasn't the easiest answer. If she would just realise that she was stronger than that. Then everything would be alright. But what would she end up as?
Did she want to end up as a bum for a year? Living on nothing but alcohol and cigarra's?
I highly doubt that Maria would ever stoop so low.
Only I, Carth Onasi, can ever afford to be that weak.
I only know that Revan drives me and I only know that everyone tries to stop me.
Not this time..
Just.. Not this time..
***
"We're here." Maria informed me as Freedom's Fate docked at Korriban. I nodded softly in her general direction, refusing to speak to her for the incident that happened but a mere few hours ago. "We better get ready, Jaro" She added. I decided to turn my head to face her and shot her a weary glare, warning her that she better stay out of my way if she valued her sanity. "We really need to-" Maria carried on saying. However, the only thing I did was stand and walk out of the cockpit, ready to see Rivu.
I searched all over for Rivu, but she was nowhere to be found, obviously she had took off. I reasoned to myself that maybe she had some smuggler's business to do. I only hoped that she would understand that what we were doing here was a lot more important than smuggling any kind of spice into any star system. I also tried to reason, and hope with myself that this would only be a short call, and not some kind of long, dreaded adventure. However, as soon as that thought entered my mind, I realised that this adventure may have it's benefits.
Was Revan dead?
Or was she alive?
Maybe this mission would help me; aid me in finding out the truth.
Either that, or this mission would help me in passing the time.
Providing a Sith didn't rip my head off first.
***
A few uncomfortable hours passed before Rivu returned. I was genuinely concerned for her wellbeing. I knew that Rivu could look after herself, but I also knew that Korriban was by no means a planet for a young Twi'lek to wander on. Rivu could have been sliced or diced by any Sith that was having a particularly bad day, Sith didn't stop to think that they would be taking an innocent life like that. Sith just revelled in the power, the knowing that what they were doing was wrong and hurting everyone. Sometimes, it made me wonder if the Sith led unhappy lives themselves. Why would they want everyone to hurt? Perhaps they were hurt themselves. Sometimes when I look back at my career as an Admiral within in the Sith fleet, I realised that I made so many decisions that were a reaction due to *my* pain. I didn't want to stop until my pain was quenched, I wanted someone to understand how I felt and the only way to achieve that was to take someone's life.
The uncomfortable hours that passed with Maria, were, well, uncomfortable. The incident that happened between us had really added a degree of tension to our "relationship" and I wasn't exactly fond of her at the moment. I couldn't believe her audacity and her sheer magnitude of revenge that she felt the need to do that to me. I tried to tell myself that the reason she done it was because of the kiss, not because of what I called her. That being said and done, I doubted Maria was fond of me either, although she tried her best during the few uncomfortable hours to make conversation with me.
But no, I wouldn't let myself be fooled by her charade.
She wasn't being nice, she simply wanted to annoy me; Throw me into a speeder of anger and turn my eyes into parallel, burning black fires of hatred.
My toleration was coming to the end of its tether and I was glad that Rivu was back. At any moment I was expecting myself to go insane on Maria and I really had no idea what or how I was going to achieve it. I decided to snap myself out of my train of thought, I was worried about Rivu and it was time to berate her for running away like that. "Rivu, what in the Force's name do you think you were doing by running away like that? You know what the Sith are like!" I exclaimed, furious at Rivu.
"Jaro! I'm not a kid, I'm not even a teenager in fact! I'm a grown woman, or did you just casually overlook that part?" Rivu asked mockingly.
"That's not the point, we could have lost you. Why couldn't you tell us where you were going? The Sith may know we are here, and they won't take kindly to three strangers wanting to snoop in there business. Trust me on this one, sister." I replied.
"Well, BROTHER, I decided to get a head start and leave you two love birds to your chatting, ya know? And you won't believe-" Rivu replied. I wasn't going to take that comment lying down though. Rivu had to be put straight that I wanted nothing more to do with Maria and after this job, I was out of here.
"Listen kid. We are *not* love birds." I answered her, hearing Maria's faint chuckle in the background. She was enjoying this and I really wish I had some kind of retort in the sense of my own enjoyment.
"Whatever. You know what, Jaro? You need to stop acting so paranoid. I bet the Sith don't even know the reason why we are here." Rivu said to me, angered by my statements. I walked closer to her and pointed outside the Freedom's Fate.
"You really think that? The Sith are many things, but they are certainly not stupid!" I exclaimed, now gesturing wildly at the general direction of the exit. I looked on as Maria watched me and Rivu futilely share the argument between each other.
"What *ever* brother. I never said they were. What the hell do you think I am? Your daughter? Loosen up will ya!" Rivu exclaimed, furrowing her brow and trying her very best to dig her words into me. The trouble was, she more than succeeded.
I stepped back very slowly from Rivu, my tense and angry forehead easing from it's previous vehement position. I looked at Rivu in amazement and I realised why. Her statements were so truthful, maybe I had been in some kind of denial, but I was treating her like she was my daughter. I realised that maybe I was making up for lost time. And I also remembered someone that I felt I let down.
Mission Vao.
The sweet little blue Twi'lek I met back on Taris. At that moment in time, staring at Rivu, I saw nothing but Mission and I realised that maybe I was given another chance. A chance to put things right. The chance I had with Mission, but never took.
I always tried not to blame myself for Mission's untimely death. I wish when I saw the odds were completely against us, that I just threw her over my shoulder and ran. But I ran in fear. I remembered it then. Just like it was yesterday. I remember the adrenaline that pumped in my veins wildly as I ordered Mission to run, refusing to believe that she would be too naive to do anything else. But what a fool I was. I should have known that at Mission's "immature" age, that she would try and do anything to break Revan free of the dark side.
And that's why I blame myself. Like everything else I've blamed myself for.
As I ran, I remember hearing Zaalbar's howl of defiance.
And then...
I heard Ordo's repeater. I stopped running and closed my eyes, cringing as the sadness overwhelmed me.
I knew Mission Vao was no more.
"Jaro, you look like you've seen a ghost." Maria said to me, her voice breaking my concentration and memory of Mission. My eyes darted back to Rivu and I realised that my eyes had welled up with tears, the memory of Mission Vao's death was not something I wished to relive. Maria's eyes darted between the exchange me and Rivu seemed to have with each other before continuing to speak. "I think Rivu wanted to tell you something, Jaro. I think it would be wise if we heard her out, don't you?" She added, rhetorically.
"Oh ya. Well I talked to some of associates on this planet.. Apparently, there's some kind of Sith parade due.. Now, I know what you're thinking, a Sith parade? On this barren place? But better believe it, there's going to be one in two days." Rivu informed us. This interested me a lot, Sith were known for a lot of things, but parades? My paranoid senses told me that something wasn't right here, and that even if we got to the bottom of it on Korriban, it simply wouldn't end there.
"Who's invited?" I asked, clearing my shocked throat in between words. The two women regarded me quizzically.
"The planet, if that makes sense. I don't really know what the march is for. That kind of information is a closely guarded secret of the Sith, but I'm guessing we'll find out in two days." Rivu replied, shrugging her shoulders at me.
"It's never that simple, sister. I wish it was, but it really isn't." I said to Rivu. I sighed, running my fingers through my hair trying to thinking of a suitable plan.
"I know what you're thinking though, but don't worry. It's taken care of, sort of. See? I told you I was great!" Rivu exclaimed.
"I don't like the "sort of" part, can you please elaborate?" I asked Rivu nicely.
"Urna the Hutt informed me that she has a couple of Sith uniforms that you could use. You could join the march-" Rivu replied, however, I promptly interrupted her.
"No, sister. You don't get something for nothing." I said, sighing slightly.
"She owes me, Jaro. I figured this would be the way she could pay me back. Just make sure you agree to her hospitality, alright? If you do all that, you'll be just fine." Rivu informed me. I nodded in her direction even though my brain was telling me that it still didn't like the sound of this.
But what choice did we have? We'd have to play along to figure out the mystery of Parda's death and the Parysidian's disappearance some how.
"Suit up, Jaro. We're goin' walkies." Maria said to me as she headed for the exit of the Freedom's Fate.
***
I sighed as we entered Urna's humble abode. To say that it was a huge place was almost the understatement of the year. Parda's Palace didn't seem to have an inch on Urna's. "What are you doing here, Maria Mortis?" Urna asked condemningly to her. Maria was about to open her mouth when I decided I would have a little bit of my own fun with this conversation, lets say, my own personal revenge for leaving me in that lurch a few hours back.
"She's with me. I am her owner and she is my slave." I replied, grinning sheepishly. Out the corner of my eye I examined Maria changing several shades of red. I doubted this was out of embarrassment but out of being livid. My reply earned a laugh from Urna, obviously she found the fact that a man had been able to tame Maria rather amusing, fact or fiction.
"To think that someone has been able to tame Maria Mortis and turn her into his love slave, ah, I must know your name human." Urna replied, seemingly chuckling every so often during her elaborate sentence.
"My name is Jaro Kep. I have undeniable charm and Maria was but another woman to fall for it and become my slave" I replied, sporting a huge grin. I turned to Maria and decided to do something sleazy. I licked Maria's cheek, slowly. I felt Maria tense in anger as she felt my tongue travel up her flustered flesh and I knew that I would be a dead man for this episode. At least I would die with my revenge sated. In the end, Maria's head flinched away from mine and I let off a small chuckle in victory.
"Very nice. But I have to ask you about your business here." Urna muttered, no doubt interested by the show put on by me and Maria. "But I seriously cannot believe that someone has finally turned the infamous Maria Mortis into a mere slave. Wait until I inform the others about this." Urna the Hutt added. I watched as Maria gave me another glare, the glare that obviously wanted to kill me.
"One of our partners, Rivu, informed us that you owe her big time. She wants you to repay her by letting us borrow some Sith Uniforms for the Sith parade in a couple of days." I replied to Urna cautiously.
"I see. Well, it is true that I owe the Twi'lek. I'll see what I can do, for now, I hope you enjoy my hospitality." Urna the Hutt said to me, I watched as she motioned for a Twi'lek slave to come near her. "You. Send them both to a hospitality suite, they seem like they need some time alone." Urna said with a slight chuckle.
"And what about Rivu?" I asked, before being ushered away by the Twi'lek slave.
"She will be coming back later and shall join you, for now, please relax." Urna the Hutt told us as the Twi'lek led us off to our hospitality suite.
***
"I hope you enjoy your room and your stay." The Twi'lek slave said to us, bowing in our direction.
"Wait, what about Maria's room?" I asked her.
"This *is* her room, sir." The slave replied. I raised an eyebrow in her direction and turned my head to see Maria's even angrier expression. The slave promptly left. My head scanned around the room cautiously as it revealed a double bed in the centre. I suddenly gulped, realising that Maria was going to have my head for this, and too right I was.
I felt a hand gripped tightly on my collar and Maria's fist near to my face. I turned to her, watching her grit her teeth in sheer anger. "And just *WHAT* did you think you were saying?" She asked me.
"I.. Uh.. I.." Was all I could manage to stutter, my face turning several shades of red in surprise and embarrassment.
"You will pay for this, Jaro! I swear you will, if it's the last thing that I *do*." Maria yelled at me, her grip tightening on my collar.
"Uh, sweetie, don't shout too loud or you'll break our cover." I replied in a mere whisper. I added a nervous chuckle on the end, just for effect.
"Break our cover?! I'll break your *FACE* if you don't shut up!" She exclaimed. Her hand dropped from my collar as she paced back and forth inside the room, muttering to herself. I opened my mouth to speak- "Don't you *DARE*, Jaro. Just don't you *dare*!" Maria exclaimed again, pacing furiously back and forth. "And to think.. To think I have to sleep in the same bed as you, I can't even *stand* to be around you!" She added.
"Surely it isn't that bad my scrumptious slave." I said to her, pushing my non existent luck. To my surprise Maria only glared at me as she waltzed around the room in a fury.
***
A few hours had passed as I took advantage of the many luxuries of Urna's hospitality suite. However, and inevitably also, I was disturbed. Rivu strode into my room, her hands behind her back and looking in my direction proudly. "So I see you finally managed to get Maria, eh brother?" She asked me. I just looked up at her, chuckling a mocking laugh in return. "It's not that bad, is it?" She added.
"You try telling Maria that." I replied, sighing as I raised my hand to my hair rubbing it softly. Being alone with Rivu reminded me that I should really talk to her, about the argument and episode we had before when she mentioned me treating her like a daughter. "Rivu, we really need to talk." I said to her, waving my hand in a friendly gesture to a seat in the room that was placed opposite of me.
"Oh?" She asked as she sat down opposite me. "I don't know if I like the sound of this." She added.
"It's nothing but good about you, trust me." I replied, sighing as I remembered that I would have to tell her everything.
"Shoot. I'll listen." Rivu said to me.
"Your comment shocked me today, Rivu." I started off with, I raised my hand as I saw she was about to speak "Let me finish." I said, preventing her from speaking. I cleared my throat before continuing. "As you know, the episode with the Star Forge was a long one. I made friends aboard the Ebon Hawk, well, one in particular." I stated to Rivu, nervously moving my hand to my hair again, not quite knowing how I would manage to explain this emotionlessly.
"Alright, carry on." Were Rivu's words of encouragement.
"She was fourteen, a Twi'lek like you. Her name was Mission Vao and we became close friends. She had no parents as such and a lousy brother to boot. I guess you can kind of say, I became like some kind of surrogate father to her." I sighed deeply and averted my eyes to the floor in despair. "As you know at the time, I had no idea that Dustil was really alive. I was more than happy to look out for Mission and be there for her. The Ebon Hawk... Became like a family to me. My only family." I added, deeply saddened.
"Wow, you got that attached?" Rivu asked. I just nodded solemnly in her direction.
"I did. Especially to Mission and especially to... To Revan.." I said trailing off softly, more despair than ever in my voice and body language. "I just think it's time you should know, I've begun to trust you Rivu and that in itself is some kind of a accomplishment. I find it hard to trust, actually I find it almost impossible. But you.. You're so innocent in your almost friendly nature, regardless of your.. Affiliations. You've inspired me, you know that? You're like my family now.." I said trailing off. I wasn't great at heart felt proclamations anyway.
"That's.. Shocked me to say the least too, Jaro. I want you to know that.. I'm sorry for dyeing your hair.." Rivu replied, looking down at the floor herself obviously feeling guilty.
"I deserved it. I was a jerk to you when you were hung over that day, or did you just happen to forget that, sister?" I asked, plastering a brave smile on my face. Rivu's eyes met mine and she smiled back.
"I didn't, but what happened to Mission? And what about Revan?" She asked inquisitively.
"Ah.." I trailed off, sighing to myself. "I knew this was going to happen." I added, letting off another sigh. "Mission died. When Revan betrayed all of us I told Mission to run as the odds were against us. I ran in total fear, forgetting that Mission was just a kid and forgetting that she would try to turn Revan back from the Dark Side. Mission's death.. Was all my fault." I told Rivu, sighing again and averting my eyes back to the floor.
"No, that's not true." Rivu told me. "It was Mission's choice to remain there, you done your duty as a soldier for the Republic. If I was Mission, I would have ran with you." She added.
"I'm sure you're just trying to make me feel better, kid. I am no soldier, I am a monster. If I was a honourable soldier I would have threw her over my shoulder and ran off with her to safety." I replied in utter disgust for myself.
"That's not true..." Rivu said to me again, disbelieving my every self pitying word. I sighed to myself and decided to humour the young Twi'lek.
"Fine, you win. The point is, today, I saw Mission in you, Rivu. It's a lovely quality and I don't want you to lose it. I realise I've been treating you like you are Mission, like I can make up for lost time and somehow fight for forgiveness inside of myself by being over protective of you. But can you just understand? Can you understand my pain and realise that maybe I am being a bit paternal over you?" I asked her, almost begging her for her understanding.
"I may look silly and stuff but I can understand that, Jaro.. I wouldn't mind you being my father figure.." She said to me, a look of sadness spreading across her face as a few tears trickled down her face.
"Hey.. Why are you crying, sister?" I asked her, reaching across and placing a strong hand on her shoulder, not knowing how else to comfort her.
"I'm crying because in a way, I guess I'm like Mission.. My mother died shortly after I was born.. I don't know.. She-.. She was greatly weakened after giving birth to me and managed to contract an illness that was incurable for her.. After she died my Father would beat me.. Eventually, I just ran away from home.. I.. I went to Coruscant.. Learnt a few things.. Got hired at Tatooine by Parda a few times..." Rivu replied to me, tears streaming down her face.
"I'm really sorry Rivu.." I said to her, placing both hands on her shoulders. For a while I just stared at her, examining her face and her features. Suddenly, Rivu threw both her arms around me and buried her head in my shoulder weeping gently. My eyes widened in surprise as I slowly wrapped my arms around her, caressing her back and telling her it would be alright.
"I won't let anyone harm you Rivu." I said to her softly. "I swear." My own eyes feeling a bit heavy with unshed tears.
"I know." She whispered back before pulling away from the embrace. "But what about Revan?" She asked, her head tails wrapping around her defensively.
"Lets just say she is a woman I adored and loved very much. Even when she went to the Dark Side.. I.. Rivu, I was guilty of following her and becoming her Admiral." I told her, Rivu just shrugged in my direction.
"You're not guilty of anything in the past. The past is done with. You know what you are now? You're part of the Freedom's Fate family, or FFF for short." Rivu said excitedly, giving off a giggle. I smiled in her direction, happy that she would not hold my own blackened heart against me.
***
Time passed by until I was disturbed again, this time by Maria. I sat in the room, staring outside at the barren world of Korriban, I could almost say it was a romantic setting. "It has it's own beauty, don't you think?" I asked Maria, trying to break the ice from our not so successful conversation before. Maria walked over to the window and folded her arms. She looked outside at the barren land, resting her hand on her chin, stroking it softly.
"I- I don't know.." Maria muttered in reply. What shocked me about her reply was firstly, she was no longer angry and secondly, she almost sounded like she had a sad tone in her voice. I tried to wonder why, but I had no answer for her sadness.
"I think it's pretty beautiful personally." I replied, gazing at Maria for a second. Maria just glanced at me nervously before looking away again outside the window.
"If you say so.. I'm.. Kind of indifferent to it all." She said to me. I raised an eyebrow at her and let her be, watching the star set gracefully upon the deserted planet. I examined her, keeping a keen eye on her, admiring her.
"Are you sure you're alright?" I asked her, worried about her reactions and her lack of anger to me.
"I'm fine." She replied to me. "I've just had a lot to think on.." Maria added.
"I'll hear you out, Maria. We never talk like that." I replied, folding my arms and leaning back against my chair.
"I get it. When I asked you questions about Telos you just shrugged it off!" Maria exclaimed bitterly. All I done was raise an eyebrow at her, watching her sigh in a bit of frustration. "But you want all my secrets.." She added.
"Damn straight." I replied, grinning at her.
"I don't know how to tell you." Maria said to me, turning to me and shooting me a far too worried look into my eyes.
"Start at the beginning." I said, shrugging. "I want to know how you ended up being a bounty hunter." I added.
"What is there to tell? I have skill, I got hired." Maria replied, shrugging our conversation off and walking towards the bed, sitting on it.
"And you chastise me for holding back with my own secrets, sister?" I asked her, chuckling at her obvious reluctance to answer my questions.
"I'm just a dull person, that's all.." Maria said, with a little sigh.
"I see. Well, how about I make you a deal. I'll tell you my story and you tell me yours." I replied to her, rubbing my head.
"I don't like the sounds of that." She said, rushing through her sentence.
"Slow down, this is not a race. Besides, I thought you said you were dull?" I enquired, shifting around in my chair, staring at her petite back.
"Which is precisely why you don't want to know my life story." Maria replied, turning her head to look me in the eyes. I stared back and gave her a little smile.
"Fine. I was born on Telos, forty one years ago. I..." I sighed a little as I trailed off, placing my hands on a table in front of me, making sure my gaze rested on it and it only.
"That's it?" She asked me.
"No, of course not. I was born to lovely parents, I was an only child.. From a very young age I was very fond of anything mechanical. My Dad taught me pretty much everything. I guess he was intelligent although he was hardly ever around..." I said trailing off, feeling sadness inside.
"Why was that?" Maria asked me, standing up and sitting on the other side of the bed so she could face me.
"My father was a Jedi. Curse them arrogant fools! They always take everything away from me.." I replied, sighing as I remembered everyone they took away from me. My father.. If they never trained Revan and Malak then Morgana would still be alive.. In fact a lot of trouble would have been avoided, it's such a shame that the Force even exists.
"What happened to your father?" Maria asked me, her brow furrowing in what I thought looked like concern.
"One day, he just didn't come back. I suppose he was killed.. My mother was heartbroken.. But she was strong and raised me.. I was quite young at the time, about thirteen years old, I guess. I just don't remember him all too well, and it pains me, a lot." I said, bowing my head and thinking about my father.
"I'm.. Sorry." Maria replied. She said it so devoid of emotion however. It was almost like she wanted to feel but felt reluctant to let herself go.
"It isn't your fault." I said, shooting a sad gaze at her before returning it back down to the table in front of me and my rough, old hands. "My mother was a scientist.. From a very young age, I had an interest in star fighters and a mild obsession with exploring space. At the tender age of eighteen, I joined the Republic and became a pilot. I married a woman named Morgana and she gave birth to my son. The attack on Telos..." I trailed off, sighing deeply. I covered my eyes, I knew I was going to cry and I didn't want Maria to see it when I did. "My wife died.. And I lost my son, or so I thought.. I found out he was alive later.." I said, rushing my sentence as tears rolled down my cheeks.
"I'm.. So sorry.." Maria said to me. I could feel her gaze burning holes right through me, I didn't like it, but I accepted it. I wiped the tears away from my face and turned to face her.
"Like I said.. It.. It isn't your fault." I said again. Maria blinked at me a few times. I watched as she stood up and placed her hand on my shoulder, gripping it firmly. I looked up at her silently, expressing my thanks before she nodded her head before me and walked towards the window again.
Maria stood that way for a few hours, gazing at the barren land of Korriban.
I had no desire to know her past, all I knew was that she was there.
And I was here.
***
Night dawned upon Korriban as quickly as was needed. Maria kept her arms tightly folded against one another. I watched as they seemed to tighten around her waist in some kind of protective hold of herself, maybe she was burying something deep inside, maybe she had no way else to let it out. What did it matter? She wasn't going to tell me what burned her everyday of her life. The best thing to do would be to allow her to open up in her own time, and I knew that would come, especially with my honesty.
I tried to stifle a yawn, but I let one go and smiled as Maria turned my way. "You've been watching me for the past half an hour." She muttered to me, giving me a curious look.
"I have. I've just been watching your emotions and your reactions to everything. You seem to be pretty wound up inside yourself and there's nothing I can do or say to change it. I keep figuring that sooner or later, you're going to open up to me, but who knows when?" I said as I shrugged in her direction. "I've just been admiring you, I do that sometimes, just ignore it. Staring at you, examining your moves made me think and feel at ease about a lot of things." I added, yawning softly again.
"Like what?" Maria asked icily.
"Everything and anything in general. The conversation we just shared and the awkward silence afterwards, it kind of sucked me in like some unseen force, I don't know how I can describe it any better to you, but you, being here tonight has been a blessing for me. I've needed to talk to people lately." I told her, explaining how I felt inside.
"And you couldn't share that with Rivu?" Maria asked me rather bitterly.
"No, we just talked. Look, Maria, is there anything else you want to know before I go to bed? I'm rather tired." I told her, stretching this time.
"I was wondering how good of a soldier you were in the past. You don't fight like an amateur but of someone with a lot of experience. That takes something, I wonder if you inherited skill of your father?" Maria enquired almost rhetorically. I just smirked at her and let off a gentle chuckle.
"I can assure you, I inherited nothing force like off my father or it would have been known of by now. I spent a lot of my time around Jedi's." I replied to Maria. I watched as she nodded in my direction and I got up beginning to get undressed.
"Oh.. Um.. Excuse me." Maria replied, blushing deeply as she turned around to give me some privacy.
"It's ok, sister. I'm not going to go totally nude on you. Is there anything else?" I asked her, slipping out of my shirt and pants.
"What tour of duty's were you on, how good were you?" Maria asked me, turning around. I watched her blush deepen as she saw me and I instantly blushed back. I knew that being in the same suite together meant that she would have to see me in just underwear one time or another and vice versa. I figured it would be much more gentlemanly if I clambered into bed and fell asleep first and let her have some kind of privacy.
"Mandalorian.. Sith.. Republic." I replied, being totally honest with Maria.
"Wait a minute, you said Republic? What happened there?" She asked me as I clambered into bed.
"I.. Well. I defected to the Sith. Something I am not proud of." I told her, settling down into bed softly.
"Why is that?" Maria asked.
"I did it for the wrong reasons, don't enquire why." I replied to her, sighing as she asked the questions I knew I would have to answer or tell her not to enquire over. Maria just snorted at my answer however. I guess she thought I was some kind of hypocrite since I was telling her just a minute before that I would answer her questions. However, Revan, was not something I wished to reveal to Maria, yet.
"Can you at least tell me how good you were at your job?" Maria asked me as she sat at the foot of the bed.
"I was.. Well, a war hero.. Very good I guess you could say." I said to her, placing my hands behind my head. "I was a veteran for the Republic.. A Commander, I knew how to do my job, I knew how to get blood on my hands and not care. I guess that came after a while of being so shell shocked. Some people called me the best pilot the Republic ever had, others refer to me as an excellent tactician... I was decorated countless times for acts of bravery, though I really didn't care, I just cared for freedom back then." I said, reiterating all of my past to Maria.
"What memorable battles were you in?" Maria said in reply, rubbing her hair softly and removing it from her hair ties.
"My, you really are curious about me lately. Are you going soft on me Maria? Whatever happened to the threats of my male genitalia flying in certain directions? Or the fact that I may lose my arm if I dare look at you in the wrong way?" I asked with a soft giggle. "All joking aside, I'm glad we're on better terms.. But I really don't like talking about my past battles.. I don't really find them as something to be happy about, I'm not into this honour stuff." I added.
"Come on, humour me, or I may just threaten that arm of yours." Maria replied, smacking my leg through the bed covers.
"Ouch gorgeous, that hurt." I said, rubbing the opposite leg of the one she hit whilst giving her a little wink.
"What did you call me?" Maria asked, blushing slightly.
"I called you gorgeous.." I replied, blushing myself.
"Well, just don't. Anyway, you sure you're not going to humour me Jaro?" Maria all but begged me again.
"Fine.. Fine. A little story, I guess. I was out on a patrol by Tatooine. I was checking out on my sensors that everything was alright. Everything was going as planned until I bumped into three or four Mandalorian star fighters. Of course, they were attacking a defenceless ship.. Well, I did the only thing I could and engaged them. We fought. They died. I lived. I won. And that's the end of that story." I told her with a slight sarcastic grin plastered on my face.
"Alright then." Maria replied as she stretched and stifled a yawn herself. I regarded her softly and realised that she had just pulled more out of me than Revan had ever managed. I also realised that I had changed a lot and I had no reason to really care about the past anymore. As I grew older, I realised that the past was something that just happened, and because it happened there was nothing you could do to change it. The past should just be left and told as it is.
"So, why don't you clamber into bed and join me?" I asked Maria softly, with nothing but a good nights sleep in my mind.
"I'm surprised you asked me that, Jaro. I would have thought you'd be kicking me out in favour of Rivu." Maria said. I regarded her softly again, and watched as a look of some kind of surprise washed over her face.
"No. Why should I? Just come to bed and get a good nights sleep with me." I replied. And then I realised what I had just said and began to blush. "I meant that innocently, by the way. I'd.. Uh.. Not.. Well, think of you in that sense.. Or take advantage of this situation." I added in a hurry.
"I know.. I guess." Maria said softly. I opened the bed covers and gazed in her direction again.
"It's not exactly like I have a choice, but the bed is open for you." I said with a nervous chuckle and smile.
"Is it?" Maria asked bitterly. I shrugged and looked at her totally baffled by her responses.
"Yes! Well, uh..." I trailed off, blushing again. I actually realised that I felt incredibly embarrassed over sharing a bed with Maria. "Well, uh.. That side is yours." I managed to stutter.
"Doesn't look so." She replied bitterly again and with more than a hint of embarrassment once she realised my own. I just stared at her, not knowing how to take her outburst. "I'm going to the 'fresher, be back whenever.." Maria added, walking off.
"Maria! Wait!" I exclaimed, too late, the door shut firmly behind her.
***
Half an hour later I was still awake, wondering when Maria would appear. I decided that it would be best not to confront her again tonight, whatever was making her act strangely would be sorted out when she was on her own I figured. When I heard the door that led to the 'fresher open I closed my eyes and pretended to be in a deep sleep.
I heard light, gentle footsteps creep around on the floor, carefully so she would not wake me. The light in the room went off and I heard the immediate shuffling around in the corner. I figured that Maria was probably getting dressed into some kind of night garment to join me. Their was more shuffling and suddenly I could feel her body heat kneeling beside me.
I could feel her eyes burning against me and I wondered if she knew I was awake. Whatever it was, I had no idea why she was doing it. I suddenly felt two soft fingertips on my forehead and I tried desperately not to open my eyes. Her strokes were gentle but her fingertips had a rough feeling to them. Maria caressed my forehead for a while until I heard her sigh and move her fingers to my hair, brushing it softly.
My mind suddenly wandered. I wondered if on nights when I really had been in a deep sleep had Maria Mortis ever done this to me, I realised now that she cared for me and I was scared of it. Feeling her close to me like this, reminded me of a whole lot of things that I didn't want to experience ever again. Maybe I was just imagining this or maybe I was dreaming it. All I knew was that I wished it wasn't happening.
I didn't want to hurt her if this was how she felt.
I could feel her breath, burning against my face as her head was now inches away from me. I felt her soft lips tenderly kiss my forehead, then the tip of my nose and finally my lips. At that moment in time I wanted to grab her and kiss her back, but I had to keep control of myself, I had to remember that I would only hurt her and I cared far too much for Rivu and Maria to hurt either of them in any shape or form.
All my mind could think was to beg Maria silently not to do this. To not fall for me.
It suddenly fell into place when I heard her whisper. "Rivu is so lucky to have you.."
I realised that Maria had obviously seen me and Rivu hug before and share our conversation. Obviously she got the wrong end of the blaster rifle here. At that moment I realised that I was already hurting her and that I had to explain everything to her.
But when I opened my eyes, she was gone.
***
I was awoken but a few hours later by sharp nudges on my shoulder. Bleary eyed and weary I looked up at who was above my bed, to my dismay, it wasn't Maria, it was a Gammorean Mercenary. All I could make out from his various grunts and growls was that I was to go and see Urna immediately and from the sounds of it, she wasn't too happy. I followed the Gammorean along until Urna was in front of me. "Traitor..." She muttered. I raised my eyebrow at her in surprise.
"What do you mean "traitor"?" I asked her, angered that she would accuse me of such a thing.
"Do you know what Maria was up to whilst you were sleeping, human?" Urna the Hutt asked me. I shrugged in response, I had no clue what this was about and I had no idea why I was being called a traitor. "She was attempting to steal from my palace! It's not something I take kindly to." Urna growled at me. I gazed at Urna, I wanted to say that I had nothing to do with it but Maria was my partner and I decided it would be best if we got into trouble as a team, especially after what she told me before I slept. I watched as Maria was ushered out by a Mercenary, she looked at me, full of shame for herself.
"I'm sorry, Jaro." She muttered towards me. I just stared at her. I was infuriated and at the same time calm. I wondered why she would do such a thing.
"Take them to the pit, let them wonder what we have in store for them a little longer." Urna the Hutt yelled.
Maria and I were reluctantly dragged to our holding cells.
***
"Why did you do it?" I asked her angrily.
"I'm sorry..." Was all Maria could manage. I paced back and forth in my holding cell, adjacent to hers. The cells were ancient compared to many force fielded cells that are standard of the Republic and Sith. I suppose for Urna's purposes these would do. Maria was sitting down, cross legged and staring onto the floor, blankly. After a while of pacing back and forth I walked towards her cell, reaching for the cold metal bars separating us with both of my worn hands. I grasped them and stared at her.
"Is that *all* you have to say? What were you thinking?" I asked her yet again. "OUT WITH IT!" I yelled. I watched as Maria bowed her head in an emotion I couldn't describe, my yelling only seemed to drag her further down into some kind of hole.
"I just.. I just thought that you didn't believe in me. That you didn't think I was strong, I wanted to prove to you that I am." Maria replied, sighing and bowing her head even further. She closed her eyes before speaking again. "I'm too full of pride.. Forgive me."
"I can't forgive you for this. You know what that is? That's.. That's so damn childish, so immature, sister! You're worse than Rivu, you know that?" I yelled at her. "Or was their more to it than that? You know what I think, Maria? I think you wanted to do it because you wanted revenge on me, because you were ashamed of the fact that I called you my slave." I added, infuriated.
"It wasn't like that.." Maria replied. I watched her carefully as she seemingly tried to control her anger and her emotions.
"Of course it was!" I exclaimed. I watched as Maria rose to her feet and strode over towards me. She wrapped her hand around my collar and dragged me into the bars that separated us.
"It would be most wise if you closed your mouth..." Maria muttered in complete anger.
"What are you going to do, Maria? We're separated by bars." I replied.
"I'll choke you to death... With no remorse..." She replied, her grip tightening.
"Get off!" I exclaimed as I pried her hands away from my collar and threw them in her direction. I sat down in the middle of my holding cell and contemplated everything, it wasn't long until I was disturbed.
"You two! You mere arrogant pets! You do know why you are here, right?" The "pet keeper" asked me.
"No." I replied shortly.
"You are here to fight to the death. The person who wins in the final gets their freedom." The pet keeper replied.
***
I watched Maria fight her own battles. I had already won my own battles in the arena and I was due to meet either Maria or her attacker in the final. Maria had told me so many times that she was regretting having to kill all these people but she knew it was survival of the fittest and it was the only viable thing she could do. It amazed me that such a heartless woman as herself could regret having to kill, but I realised that after the episode last night, she had a heart.
It was one that I owned..
I heard the crowd cheer as Maria became the victor of her battle.
I cringed, I knew we had to fight each other next.
"I will make a plan for you Maria.. I promise..."
***
I was awoken from the dreams of my past when I heard a faint scratching on my cell door. I looked up and in the darkness, I could not see who my rescuer was. I sighed and rubbed my eyes, feeling the dried up tears that littered my face. Had I really cried in my sleep?
The one thing I did know was that I missed Maria.
And that Urna the Hutt would pay for her death...
------------
Hey everyone. Sorry about the lack of updates. I've been very busy with some stuff and I haven't had chance to write past this (And I've had a free week to do it). Anyway, I never published these two chapters, then I got three reviews and I figured, I better had.
Shadow 39: I hope this quenches your thirst.
Gollo: I guess things have been revealed over Maria now... Or have they? :D.
Vivid Scrips: Hey! As you know, and from my note above.. I've been -real- busy and just damn lazy.. I saw you have the last chapter of your story up and I'll pick up my ass and go around to see your stuff on the force.net :).
MD: Nah, you're not stupid.. Yes, I'm keeping it up :D
Bjrn Fallqvist: Thanks for the support man, it's greatly appreciated.
CrimsonMyst: Pffft... Un-lazy yourself and start logging in :D.. Just kidding.. Bah, yeah, I've been a bit ratty with people reviewing, huh? I genuinely forgot about you guys who are too shy to review, though.. I just neglected this story.. But I promise to start writing again soon :).
Starlight the Wanderer: Ar-har :D.. I see.. Well, yes most of the characters are dead besides HK-47 and T3-M4.. I actually WAS planning on adding them later because I realised that it IS one of my story's faults :). I do feel that I don't write HK-47 convincingly enough, however. But hey, we'll see how it goes.. Your request has been noted! Hey, I think everyone has had there suspicions over this story.. But I guess a lot of it is changing now?
Don't worry everyone, I'll try not to leave you in suspense too much longer :).
Sorry about the un-coolness of grammar, punctuation and spelling in this chapter, by the way (.
How I murdered Rancor Maria..
I felt myself being pushed into the arena. I landed face first on the dirty, muddy ground and I dreaded pulling myself up to face my opponent. All around the arena pit I could hear the cheers of dirty scoundrels, willing either one of us on. Of course, they did not care that someone was going to lose their life, they only cared that they won their bet. I got onto my feet and glanced at the Hutt whose fault this was. Urna the Hutt just laughed at my predicament.
I entered a battle stance and readied my vibroblade, glancing at my attacker. My attacker was none other than Maria. This was a fight to the death and one of us had to die. We began fighting, our blades clanging against each other. Our minds were not in this fight, we didn't want to kill each other. It was different now, we were partners. Even though I was angered for everything she had done to me, I didn't want to kill the person who was leading me and Rivu on an adventure of a life time.
So we fought that way, carefully. Maria was trying to pretend that she was intent on killing me, but truth be known, she wasn't. I tried to return my blows as vehemently as I could without making a mistake and hurting Maria. "One of us has to die, Jaro!" She exclaimed to me, just loud enough so that I would be the only person to hear.
"No.. No there has to be another way." I replied in utter disbelief, swinging my sword at her. Maria caught my blow close to her neck and we were inches away from each others faces, "Look, we can make a plan.. One of us doesn't have to die, Maria." I added in sorrow and despair.
"I'm sorry, there's no other way." Maria replied. I stared at her and she returned the glance. I shook my head at her, breaking my concentration which was just enough for Maria to disarm me. I fell to my knees, awaiting my death but Maria looked stunned. The Rancor obviously didn't mean to disarm me, she didn't even want to kill me. Maria's eyes widened and she shot me a desperate look, begging me to do something to stop her from having to make a final blow.
I done the only thing I could.
I charged Maria down and we both landed on the floor. I was on top of Maria now and managed to wrestle the vibroblade out of her hand, "For a second I thought we would both end up dead.." Maria muttered at me. I just gazed at her, my looks must have appeared torn and frightful. This was one of the most terrifying things I'd been forced to do in all my life. I tried desperately not to hurt her whilst I was wrestling with her. I dwarfed Maria in comparison to strength but she was extremely agile and I had no doubt she would be able to get out of my strong arms.
"Jaro. I need you to keel over and crawl to your vibroblade while I retrieve mine." Maria whispered to me, I looked at her in surprise and felt her knee pressed against my crotch. I suddenly understood that I either acted it out, or I actually did end up in massive pain.
I chose to act it out.
I keeled over on the floor in pain and groaned as Maria scampered off untidily for her vibroblade. I watched as she tripped over, probably to buy me some time. I started to crawl towards my own vibroblade when my eyes caught Rivu's shocked figure up above the pit.
Rivu's eyes were prickling with unshed tears. She was obviously feeling grief, watching me and Maria having to fight to the death like this. However, I didn't want Rivu to give up hope. I looked at her and put on a brave face, giving her a small wink. I retrieved my vibroblade and stood up when my eyes caught sight of *another* familiar face.
Canderous.
Canderous was armed to the hilt in a Mandalorian war suit apart from a helmet. He was grimacing at me in absolute disgust and when he realised that I was staring at him, he laughed. I watched him for a second or two, as he raised his heavy repeater up towards his chest and remained stony faced, ever staring at the fight. I wondered what business he had here and if I'd ever get to live to see it.
I got onto my feet and watched as Maria entered a battle stance. I had no option but to return the favour and again, we charged into a fight. Our blades rained down against each others in some kind of paradoxial careful frenzy. Maria and I duelled this way for a considerable amount of time before I lost my concentration and felt her blade slice through my arm. I winced as the wound oozed blood. The situation was getting drastic and something had to be done.
I switched the blade to my other hand and went on with the fight. Maria's strokes were a lot calmer now, weary of the wound she just gave me. Sparks flew from our blades as the metal smashed against each other time and again until I left myself wide open for attack, my blade held close to my torso. What happened next, would change everything, forever. Maria, darted forward only for my blade to seriously injure her.
I watched as Maria stared at me in utter surprise, falling to her knees and rasping for breath. My jaw could only drop in surprise, I didn't know how I should feel, I felt my eyes well up with tears of regret and sorrow. Maria's eyes rolled to the back of her head and she crumpled up upon the muddy ground, lifelessly.
Maria Mortis was dead, and I was her murderer.
I fell to my knees and dropped my blade, looking at her body in disbelief..
***
"Well done, Jaro" Urna the Hutt informed me. I just bowed my head in disgust at what I had just done. "But I'm afraid I can't let you go since you are now my prized possession and best warrior." Urna added with a cruel laugh. I just glared at her, how dare she? How dare she lie like that and force me to kill Maria?!
"You deserve to die.." I muttered to Urna vengefully.
"We all have to die someday." Urna replied. "Take him back to the cells!" Urna added, ordering two Mercenary's to attach themselves to either side of my body.
"I swear I'll kill you." I spat at her vengefully, resisting my assailants. "I swear I'll avenge Maria's death!" I screamed in despair.
"Why when you are the one who killed her?" Urna asked. Before I could reply I was knocked out and dragged to my holding cell.
***
I awoke lying in my cell. I was dazed but I still remembered how much filth I was for killing Maria. I didn't even mean to do it, but it still made me a cold hearted murderer. Tears slid down my cheeks, as I remembered her falling onto her knees, her eyes begging me, asking me why I had to kill her. I curled up on the cold, damp ground of my dark cell and brought my knees up to my chest. I tensed every muscle in anger and hate for myself and wept senselessly.
I never ever meant to hurt her.
***
Wind whistled past my ears and bathed my face softly as I opened my eyes. I was greeted by a wonderful crimson sky and I groaned softly as I sat up. I was greeted by many pairs of legs, all women's. I raised my head and squinted from the bright light shining in my eyes. I was greeted by Morgana, Revan, Bastila and Maria. Each woman's pair of eyes were focused on me and my now alert form.
I just stared at each and every one of them, not knowing what to do and then Morgana spoke, "When you are ready, come to speak to us." I looked at them all puzzledly as they took a final look at me and walked off in different directions. I felt grass under my palms and looked at the ground. The grass was green and fertile and to say the least, extremely colourful. Shades of pink and yellow jumped out and attracted my eyes, they danced under the bright light that bathed this mysterious place.
I gazed at my surroundings and took note of where all the women had gone. Morgana was sitting on the grass, running her fingers through the sharp, thin blades. I turned my head slightly to the right and saw Revan, sitting on a wooden bench. She was staring into space somewhat sadly. I turned my head even further to the right and saw a giant tree of some description. The leaves that hung from the thick twigs and bark were of a golden and silver colour, something magnificent to look upon. On either side of the three was Bastila and Maria. Bastila had her arms folded, looking as prideful as ever. Maria was playing with the grass, innocently, but I knew that she was a vicious woman inside.
I raised myself to my feet and decided it would be best if I talked to each woman in chronological order. I wanted to get the hardest two out of the way anyway. I walked towards Morgana, who didn't seem to show her awareness of me approaching. I sat down beside her, "What am I?" I asked her.
"You are Carth Onasi, my first and only husband, the father of Dustil Onasi." Morgana replied, looking away from my face.
"Where did I go wrong?" I asked Morgana.
"You didn't go wrong, you never failed. I told you this before, what's so hard to believe?" She replied to me, rhetorically.
I stared at her and realised I had no idea what to say. I promptly left Morgana to her own devices and strolled towards Revan. I sat on the bench next to her, "Who am I?" I asked. Revan stayed quiet, her eyes never faltering on whatever she was focusing on in the distance. I waved my hand past her eyes a few times until I broke her concentration. She turned to look at me, a questionable look in her eyes. "Who am I?" I asked her again.
"A non-entity in my life." She replied. I watched as Revan got up and walked away, disappearing mysteriously in the distance.
I got to my feet again and walked towards Bastila. "Who am I?" I asked her. Bastila gave me a cocky look before answering.
"You are Carth Onasi. The imbecile that was an Admiral aboard Revan's flagship." Bastila stated to me in arrogance. I stared at her aloof figure and decided that Bastila was not the person I was looking for and she was certainly not going to give me the answers I desired.
I walked around the other side of the tree, resting my palm on the rough bark. Maria was sitting there, toying with the grass. "Maria, who am I?" I asked her. The shock of my voice broke Maria's concentration and she raised her head to stare at me.
"You are Jaro Kep, we were partners.. Sort of." She replied to me. I nodded in her direction before taking a deep breath.
"I failed you." I stated to her.
"You never failed me.. I failed myself." She muttered in response.
***
I woke up to the sound of nothing but the emptiness of my soul and the damp of the cold floor. I wanted to yawn, sigh, do anything that would take my mind from everything, from the weird dream I just had. In the end, everything was null, it was nothing, nothing mattered. Nothing mattered to me when all I could do was mess up, why should it? At that moment, I wished for nothing more than to be able to end my life, or for Revan to come, to come and take me away and tell me she loves me.
Tell me she'll never leave me.
But I doubted then, doubted it would ever happen. The only thing I could think of was Maria, and her ever untimely death. All I could wonder and ponder about was the way my vibroblade sliced through her petite figure, ending her young life.
Or did it?
I tried to look back and remember all the events. It seemed like an eternity ago since she fell to the ground, her eyes fixed on mine. Asking me, begging me why. It seemed like an eternity ago that I curled up on the ground like a mere foetus and cried myself to sleep.
I tried to think harder, let my mind wander even more. I knew the answer was there, somewhere. Then I saw it, did I really imagine it? Was it really a figment of my delusional and paranoid imagination?
No.
Was it a figment of my hopeful imagination?
I could only but hope so.
I looked back, concentrating hard on the battle stance we were in just before I struck her down. My vibroblade was positioned closely to my body, away from Maria. With Maria's skill, I doubt she would walk into my blade. No.
No, wait! She *did* walk into my blade!
It's the only explanation!
But why did she throw herself onto my blade?
To my knowledge, she had no reason to be sad enough to want to commit suicide.
But on the outside, do I look like I have a reason to be sad? Do I look like I have a reason to be suicidal? No. I don't believe I do, but it doesn't stop me from thinking those thoughts for every passing moment, every passing *breath* I *breathe* without Revan!
I wouldn't let it beat me though.
I had to live on, I had to pass this test.
I have wronged so many people, done so many things I hate and wished I'd never done. This almost topped it all, even if Maria was only doing it to end her own life and wished no blame on me, it was still my fault.
It was always my fault.
If I had talked to her, if I had made her see that it wasn't the easiest answer. If she would just realise that she was stronger than that. Then everything would be alright. But what would she end up as?
Did she want to end up as a bum for a year? Living on nothing but alcohol and cigarra's?
I highly doubt that Maria would ever stoop so low.
Only I, Carth Onasi, can ever afford to be that weak.
I only know that Revan drives me and I only know that everyone tries to stop me.
Not this time..
Just.. Not this time..
***
"We're here." Maria informed me as Freedom's Fate docked at Korriban. I nodded softly in her general direction, refusing to speak to her for the incident that happened but a mere few hours ago. "We better get ready, Jaro" She added. I decided to turn my head to face her and shot her a weary glare, warning her that she better stay out of my way if she valued her sanity. "We really need to-" Maria carried on saying. However, the only thing I did was stand and walk out of the cockpit, ready to see Rivu.
I searched all over for Rivu, but she was nowhere to be found, obviously she had took off. I reasoned to myself that maybe she had some smuggler's business to do. I only hoped that she would understand that what we were doing here was a lot more important than smuggling any kind of spice into any star system. I also tried to reason, and hope with myself that this would only be a short call, and not some kind of long, dreaded adventure. However, as soon as that thought entered my mind, I realised that this adventure may have it's benefits.
Was Revan dead?
Or was she alive?
Maybe this mission would help me; aid me in finding out the truth.
Either that, or this mission would help me in passing the time.
Providing a Sith didn't rip my head off first.
***
A few uncomfortable hours passed before Rivu returned. I was genuinely concerned for her wellbeing. I knew that Rivu could look after herself, but I also knew that Korriban was by no means a planet for a young Twi'lek to wander on. Rivu could have been sliced or diced by any Sith that was having a particularly bad day, Sith didn't stop to think that they would be taking an innocent life like that. Sith just revelled in the power, the knowing that what they were doing was wrong and hurting everyone. Sometimes, it made me wonder if the Sith led unhappy lives themselves. Why would they want everyone to hurt? Perhaps they were hurt themselves. Sometimes when I look back at my career as an Admiral within in the Sith fleet, I realised that I made so many decisions that were a reaction due to *my* pain. I didn't want to stop until my pain was quenched, I wanted someone to understand how I felt and the only way to achieve that was to take someone's life.
The uncomfortable hours that passed with Maria, were, well, uncomfortable. The incident that happened between us had really added a degree of tension to our "relationship" and I wasn't exactly fond of her at the moment. I couldn't believe her audacity and her sheer magnitude of revenge that she felt the need to do that to me. I tried to tell myself that the reason she done it was because of the kiss, not because of what I called her. That being said and done, I doubted Maria was fond of me either, although she tried her best during the few uncomfortable hours to make conversation with me.
But no, I wouldn't let myself be fooled by her charade.
She wasn't being nice, she simply wanted to annoy me; Throw me into a speeder of anger and turn my eyes into parallel, burning black fires of hatred.
My toleration was coming to the end of its tether and I was glad that Rivu was back. At any moment I was expecting myself to go insane on Maria and I really had no idea what or how I was going to achieve it. I decided to snap myself out of my train of thought, I was worried about Rivu and it was time to berate her for running away like that. "Rivu, what in the Force's name do you think you were doing by running away like that? You know what the Sith are like!" I exclaimed, furious at Rivu.
"Jaro! I'm not a kid, I'm not even a teenager in fact! I'm a grown woman, or did you just casually overlook that part?" Rivu asked mockingly.
"That's not the point, we could have lost you. Why couldn't you tell us where you were going? The Sith may know we are here, and they won't take kindly to three strangers wanting to snoop in there business. Trust me on this one, sister." I replied.
"Well, BROTHER, I decided to get a head start and leave you two love birds to your chatting, ya know? And you won't believe-" Rivu replied. I wasn't going to take that comment lying down though. Rivu had to be put straight that I wanted nothing more to do with Maria and after this job, I was out of here.
"Listen kid. We are *not* love birds." I answered her, hearing Maria's faint chuckle in the background. She was enjoying this and I really wish I had some kind of retort in the sense of my own enjoyment.
"Whatever. You know what, Jaro? You need to stop acting so paranoid. I bet the Sith don't even know the reason why we are here." Rivu said to me, angered by my statements. I walked closer to her and pointed outside the Freedom's Fate.
"You really think that? The Sith are many things, but they are certainly not stupid!" I exclaimed, now gesturing wildly at the general direction of the exit. I looked on as Maria watched me and Rivu futilely share the argument between each other.
"What *ever* brother. I never said they were. What the hell do you think I am? Your daughter? Loosen up will ya!" Rivu exclaimed, furrowing her brow and trying her very best to dig her words into me. The trouble was, she more than succeeded.
I stepped back very slowly from Rivu, my tense and angry forehead easing from it's previous vehement position. I looked at Rivu in amazement and I realised why. Her statements were so truthful, maybe I had been in some kind of denial, but I was treating her like she was my daughter. I realised that maybe I was making up for lost time. And I also remembered someone that I felt I let down.
Mission Vao.
The sweet little blue Twi'lek I met back on Taris. At that moment in time, staring at Rivu, I saw nothing but Mission and I realised that maybe I was given another chance. A chance to put things right. The chance I had with Mission, but never took.
I always tried not to blame myself for Mission's untimely death. I wish when I saw the odds were completely against us, that I just threw her over my shoulder and ran. But I ran in fear. I remembered it then. Just like it was yesterday. I remember the adrenaline that pumped in my veins wildly as I ordered Mission to run, refusing to believe that she would be too naive to do anything else. But what a fool I was. I should have known that at Mission's "immature" age, that she would try and do anything to break Revan free of the dark side.
And that's why I blame myself. Like everything else I've blamed myself for.
As I ran, I remember hearing Zaalbar's howl of defiance.
And then...
I heard Ordo's repeater. I stopped running and closed my eyes, cringing as the sadness overwhelmed me.
I knew Mission Vao was no more.
"Jaro, you look like you've seen a ghost." Maria said to me, her voice breaking my concentration and memory of Mission. My eyes darted back to Rivu and I realised that my eyes had welled up with tears, the memory of Mission Vao's death was not something I wished to relive. Maria's eyes darted between the exchange me and Rivu seemed to have with each other before continuing to speak. "I think Rivu wanted to tell you something, Jaro. I think it would be wise if we heard her out, don't you?" She added, rhetorically.
"Oh ya. Well I talked to some of associates on this planet.. Apparently, there's some kind of Sith parade due.. Now, I know what you're thinking, a Sith parade? On this barren place? But better believe it, there's going to be one in two days." Rivu informed us. This interested me a lot, Sith were known for a lot of things, but parades? My paranoid senses told me that something wasn't right here, and that even if we got to the bottom of it on Korriban, it simply wouldn't end there.
"Who's invited?" I asked, clearing my shocked throat in between words. The two women regarded me quizzically.
"The planet, if that makes sense. I don't really know what the march is for. That kind of information is a closely guarded secret of the Sith, but I'm guessing we'll find out in two days." Rivu replied, shrugging her shoulders at me.
"It's never that simple, sister. I wish it was, but it really isn't." I said to Rivu. I sighed, running my fingers through my hair trying to thinking of a suitable plan.
"I know what you're thinking though, but don't worry. It's taken care of, sort of. See? I told you I was great!" Rivu exclaimed.
"I don't like the "sort of" part, can you please elaborate?" I asked Rivu nicely.
"Urna the Hutt informed me that she has a couple of Sith uniforms that you could use. You could join the march-" Rivu replied, however, I promptly interrupted her.
"No, sister. You don't get something for nothing." I said, sighing slightly.
"She owes me, Jaro. I figured this would be the way she could pay me back. Just make sure you agree to her hospitality, alright? If you do all that, you'll be just fine." Rivu informed me. I nodded in her direction even though my brain was telling me that it still didn't like the sound of this.
But what choice did we have? We'd have to play along to figure out the mystery of Parda's death and the Parysidian's disappearance some how.
"Suit up, Jaro. We're goin' walkies." Maria said to me as she headed for the exit of the Freedom's Fate.
***
I sighed as we entered Urna's humble abode. To say that it was a huge place was almost the understatement of the year. Parda's Palace didn't seem to have an inch on Urna's. "What are you doing here, Maria Mortis?" Urna asked condemningly to her. Maria was about to open her mouth when I decided I would have a little bit of my own fun with this conversation, lets say, my own personal revenge for leaving me in that lurch a few hours back.
"She's with me. I am her owner and she is my slave." I replied, grinning sheepishly. Out the corner of my eye I examined Maria changing several shades of red. I doubted this was out of embarrassment but out of being livid. My reply earned a laugh from Urna, obviously she found the fact that a man had been able to tame Maria rather amusing, fact or fiction.
"To think that someone has been able to tame Maria Mortis and turn her into his love slave, ah, I must know your name human." Urna replied, seemingly chuckling every so often during her elaborate sentence.
"My name is Jaro Kep. I have undeniable charm and Maria was but another woman to fall for it and become my slave" I replied, sporting a huge grin. I turned to Maria and decided to do something sleazy. I licked Maria's cheek, slowly. I felt Maria tense in anger as she felt my tongue travel up her flustered flesh and I knew that I would be a dead man for this episode. At least I would die with my revenge sated. In the end, Maria's head flinched away from mine and I let off a small chuckle in victory.
"Very nice. But I have to ask you about your business here." Urna muttered, no doubt interested by the show put on by me and Maria. "But I seriously cannot believe that someone has finally turned the infamous Maria Mortis into a mere slave. Wait until I inform the others about this." Urna the Hutt added. I watched as Maria gave me another glare, the glare that obviously wanted to kill me.
"One of our partners, Rivu, informed us that you owe her big time. She wants you to repay her by letting us borrow some Sith Uniforms for the Sith parade in a couple of days." I replied to Urna cautiously.
"I see. Well, it is true that I owe the Twi'lek. I'll see what I can do, for now, I hope you enjoy my hospitality." Urna the Hutt said to me, I watched as she motioned for a Twi'lek slave to come near her. "You. Send them both to a hospitality suite, they seem like they need some time alone." Urna said with a slight chuckle.
"And what about Rivu?" I asked, before being ushered away by the Twi'lek slave.
"She will be coming back later and shall join you, for now, please relax." Urna the Hutt told us as the Twi'lek led us off to our hospitality suite.
***
"I hope you enjoy your room and your stay." The Twi'lek slave said to us, bowing in our direction.
"Wait, what about Maria's room?" I asked her.
"This *is* her room, sir." The slave replied. I raised an eyebrow in her direction and turned my head to see Maria's even angrier expression. The slave promptly left. My head scanned around the room cautiously as it revealed a double bed in the centre. I suddenly gulped, realising that Maria was going to have my head for this, and too right I was.
I felt a hand gripped tightly on my collar and Maria's fist near to my face. I turned to her, watching her grit her teeth in sheer anger. "And just *WHAT* did you think you were saying?" She asked me.
"I.. Uh.. I.." Was all I could manage to stutter, my face turning several shades of red in surprise and embarrassment.
"You will pay for this, Jaro! I swear you will, if it's the last thing that I *do*." Maria yelled at me, her grip tightening on my collar.
"Uh, sweetie, don't shout too loud or you'll break our cover." I replied in a mere whisper. I added a nervous chuckle on the end, just for effect.
"Break our cover?! I'll break your *FACE* if you don't shut up!" She exclaimed. Her hand dropped from my collar as she paced back and forth inside the room, muttering to herself. I opened my mouth to speak- "Don't you *DARE*, Jaro. Just don't you *dare*!" Maria exclaimed again, pacing furiously back and forth. "And to think.. To think I have to sleep in the same bed as you, I can't even *stand* to be around you!" She added.
"Surely it isn't that bad my scrumptious slave." I said to her, pushing my non existent luck. To my surprise Maria only glared at me as she waltzed around the room in a fury.
***
A few hours had passed as I took advantage of the many luxuries of Urna's hospitality suite. However, and inevitably also, I was disturbed. Rivu strode into my room, her hands behind her back and looking in my direction proudly. "So I see you finally managed to get Maria, eh brother?" She asked me. I just looked up at her, chuckling a mocking laugh in return. "It's not that bad, is it?" She added.
"You try telling Maria that." I replied, sighing as I raised my hand to my hair rubbing it softly. Being alone with Rivu reminded me that I should really talk to her, about the argument and episode we had before when she mentioned me treating her like a daughter. "Rivu, we really need to talk." I said to her, waving my hand in a friendly gesture to a seat in the room that was placed opposite of me.
"Oh?" She asked as she sat down opposite me. "I don't know if I like the sound of this." She added.
"It's nothing but good about you, trust me." I replied, sighing as I remembered that I would have to tell her everything.
"Shoot. I'll listen." Rivu said to me.
"Your comment shocked me today, Rivu." I started off with, I raised my hand as I saw she was about to speak "Let me finish." I said, preventing her from speaking. I cleared my throat before continuing. "As you know, the episode with the Star Forge was a long one. I made friends aboard the Ebon Hawk, well, one in particular." I stated to Rivu, nervously moving my hand to my hair again, not quite knowing how I would manage to explain this emotionlessly.
"Alright, carry on." Were Rivu's words of encouragement.
"She was fourteen, a Twi'lek like you. Her name was Mission Vao and we became close friends. She had no parents as such and a lousy brother to boot. I guess you can kind of say, I became like some kind of surrogate father to her." I sighed deeply and averted my eyes to the floor in despair. "As you know at the time, I had no idea that Dustil was really alive. I was more than happy to look out for Mission and be there for her. The Ebon Hawk... Became like a family to me. My only family." I added, deeply saddened.
"Wow, you got that attached?" Rivu asked. I just nodded solemnly in her direction.
"I did. Especially to Mission and especially to... To Revan.." I said trailing off softly, more despair than ever in my voice and body language. "I just think it's time you should know, I've begun to trust you Rivu and that in itself is some kind of a accomplishment. I find it hard to trust, actually I find it almost impossible. But you.. You're so innocent in your almost friendly nature, regardless of your.. Affiliations. You've inspired me, you know that? You're like my family now.." I said trailing off. I wasn't great at heart felt proclamations anyway.
"That's.. Shocked me to say the least too, Jaro. I want you to know that.. I'm sorry for dyeing your hair.." Rivu replied, looking down at the floor herself obviously feeling guilty.
"I deserved it. I was a jerk to you when you were hung over that day, or did you just happen to forget that, sister?" I asked, plastering a brave smile on my face. Rivu's eyes met mine and she smiled back.
"I didn't, but what happened to Mission? And what about Revan?" She asked inquisitively.
"Ah.." I trailed off, sighing to myself. "I knew this was going to happen." I added, letting off another sigh. "Mission died. When Revan betrayed all of us I told Mission to run as the odds were against us. I ran in total fear, forgetting that Mission was just a kid and forgetting that she would try to turn Revan back from the Dark Side. Mission's death.. Was all my fault." I told Rivu, sighing again and averting my eyes back to the floor.
"No, that's not true." Rivu told me. "It was Mission's choice to remain there, you done your duty as a soldier for the Republic. If I was Mission, I would have ran with you." She added.
"I'm sure you're just trying to make me feel better, kid. I am no soldier, I am a monster. If I was a honourable soldier I would have threw her over my shoulder and ran off with her to safety." I replied in utter disgust for myself.
"That's not true..." Rivu said to me again, disbelieving my every self pitying word. I sighed to myself and decided to humour the young Twi'lek.
"Fine, you win. The point is, today, I saw Mission in you, Rivu. It's a lovely quality and I don't want you to lose it. I realise I've been treating you like you are Mission, like I can make up for lost time and somehow fight for forgiveness inside of myself by being over protective of you. But can you just understand? Can you understand my pain and realise that maybe I am being a bit paternal over you?" I asked her, almost begging her for her understanding.
"I may look silly and stuff but I can understand that, Jaro.. I wouldn't mind you being my father figure.." She said to me, a look of sadness spreading across her face as a few tears trickled down her face.
"Hey.. Why are you crying, sister?" I asked her, reaching across and placing a strong hand on her shoulder, not knowing how else to comfort her.
"I'm crying because in a way, I guess I'm like Mission.. My mother died shortly after I was born.. I don't know.. She-.. She was greatly weakened after giving birth to me and managed to contract an illness that was incurable for her.. After she died my Father would beat me.. Eventually, I just ran away from home.. I.. I went to Coruscant.. Learnt a few things.. Got hired at Tatooine by Parda a few times..." Rivu replied to me, tears streaming down her face.
"I'm really sorry Rivu.." I said to her, placing both hands on her shoulders. For a while I just stared at her, examining her face and her features. Suddenly, Rivu threw both her arms around me and buried her head in my shoulder weeping gently. My eyes widened in surprise as I slowly wrapped my arms around her, caressing her back and telling her it would be alright.
"I won't let anyone harm you Rivu." I said to her softly. "I swear." My own eyes feeling a bit heavy with unshed tears.
"I know." She whispered back before pulling away from the embrace. "But what about Revan?" She asked, her head tails wrapping around her defensively.
"Lets just say she is a woman I adored and loved very much. Even when she went to the Dark Side.. I.. Rivu, I was guilty of following her and becoming her Admiral." I told her, Rivu just shrugged in my direction.
"You're not guilty of anything in the past. The past is done with. You know what you are now? You're part of the Freedom's Fate family, or FFF for short." Rivu said excitedly, giving off a giggle. I smiled in her direction, happy that she would not hold my own blackened heart against me.
***
Time passed by until I was disturbed again, this time by Maria. I sat in the room, staring outside at the barren world of Korriban, I could almost say it was a romantic setting. "It has it's own beauty, don't you think?" I asked Maria, trying to break the ice from our not so successful conversation before. Maria walked over to the window and folded her arms. She looked outside at the barren land, resting her hand on her chin, stroking it softly.
"I- I don't know.." Maria muttered in reply. What shocked me about her reply was firstly, she was no longer angry and secondly, she almost sounded like she had a sad tone in her voice. I tried to wonder why, but I had no answer for her sadness.
"I think it's pretty beautiful personally." I replied, gazing at Maria for a second. Maria just glanced at me nervously before looking away again outside the window.
"If you say so.. I'm.. Kind of indifferent to it all." She said to me. I raised an eyebrow at her and let her be, watching the star set gracefully upon the deserted planet. I examined her, keeping a keen eye on her, admiring her.
"Are you sure you're alright?" I asked her, worried about her reactions and her lack of anger to me.
"I'm fine." She replied to me. "I've just had a lot to think on.." Maria added.
"I'll hear you out, Maria. We never talk like that." I replied, folding my arms and leaning back against my chair.
"I get it. When I asked you questions about Telos you just shrugged it off!" Maria exclaimed bitterly. All I done was raise an eyebrow at her, watching her sigh in a bit of frustration. "But you want all my secrets.." She added.
"Damn straight." I replied, grinning at her.
"I don't know how to tell you." Maria said to me, turning to me and shooting me a far too worried look into my eyes.
"Start at the beginning." I said, shrugging. "I want to know how you ended up being a bounty hunter." I added.
"What is there to tell? I have skill, I got hired." Maria replied, shrugging our conversation off and walking towards the bed, sitting on it.
"And you chastise me for holding back with my own secrets, sister?" I asked her, chuckling at her obvious reluctance to answer my questions.
"I'm just a dull person, that's all.." Maria said, with a little sigh.
"I see. Well, how about I make you a deal. I'll tell you my story and you tell me yours." I replied to her, rubbing my head.
"I don't like the sounds of that." She said, rushing through her sentence.
"Slow down, this is not a race. Besides, I thought you said you were dull?" I enquired, shifting around in my chair, staring at her petite back.
"Which is precisely why you don't want to know my life story." Maria replied, turning her head to look me in the eyes. I stared back and gave her a little smile.
"Fine. I was born on Telos, forty one years ago. I..." I sighed a little as I trailed off, placing my hands on a table in front of me, making sure my gaze rested on it and it only.
"That's it?" She asked me.
"No, of course not. I was born to lovely parents, I was an only child.. From a very young age I was very fond of anything mechanical. My Dad taught me pretty much everything. I guess he was intelligent although he was hardly ever around..." I said trailing off, feeling sadness inside.
"Why was that?" Maria asked me, standing up and sitting on the other side of the bed so she could face me.
"My father was a Jedi. Curse them arrogant fools! They always take everything away from me.." I replied, sighing as I remembered everyone they took away from me. My father.. If they never trained Revan and Malak then Morgana would still be alive.. In fact a lot of trouble would have been avoided, it's such a shame that the Force even exists.
"What happened to your father?" Maria asked me, her brow furrowing in what I thought looked like concern.
"One day, he just didn't come back. I suppose he was killed.. My mother was heartbroken.. But she was strong and raised me.. I was quite young at the time, about thirteen years old, I guess. I just don't remember him all too well, and it pains me, a lot." I said, bowing my head and thinking about my father.
"I'm.. Sorry." Maria replied. She said it so devoid of emotion however. It was almost like she wanted to feel but felt reluctant to let herself go.
"It isn't your fault." I said, shooting a sad gaze at her before returning it back down to the table in front of me and my rough, old hands. "My mother was a scientist.. From a very young age, I had an interest in star fighters and a mild obsession with exploring space. At the tender age of eighteen, I joined the Republic and became a pilot. I married a woman named Morgana and she gave birth to my son. The attack on Telos..." I trailed off, sighing deeply. I covered my eyes, I knew I was going to cry and I didn't want Maria to see it when I did. "My wife died.. And I lost my son, or so I thought.. I found out he was alive later.." I said, rushing my sentence as tears rolled down my cheeks.
"I'm.. So sorry.." Maria said to me. I could feel her gaze burning holes right through me, I didn't like it, but I accepted it. I wiped the tears away from my face and turned to face her.
"Like I said.. It.. It isn't your fault." I said again. Maria blinked at me a few times. I watched as she stood up and placed her hand on my shoulder, gripping it firmly. I looked up at her silently, expressing my thanks before she nodded her head before me and walked towards the window again.
Maria stood that way for a few hours, gazing at the barren land of Korriban.
I had no desire to know her past, all I knew was that she was there.
And I was here.
***
Night dawned upon Korriban as quickly as was needed. Maria kept her arms tightly folded against one another. I watched as they seemed to tighten around her waist in some kind of protective hold of herself, maybe she was burying something deep inside, maybe she had no way else to let it out. What did it matter? She wasn't going to tell me what burned her everyday of her life. The best thing to do would be to allow her to open up in her own time, and I knew that would come, especially with my honesty.
I tried to stifle a yawn, but I let one go and smiled as Maria turned my way. "You've been watching me for the past half an hour." She muttered to me, giving me a curious look.
"I have. I've just been watching your emotions and your reactions to everything. You seem to be pretty wound up inside yourself and there's nothing I can do or say to change it. I keep figuring that sooner or later, you're going to open up to me, but who knows when?" I said as I shrugged in her direction. "I've just been admiring you, I do that sometimes, just ignore it. Staring at you, examining your moves made me think and feel at ease about a lot of things." I added, yawning softly again.
"Like what?" Maria asked icily.
"Everything and anything in general. The conversation we just shared and the awkward silence afterwards, it kind of sucked me in like some unseen force, I don't know how I can describe it any better to you, but you, being here tonight has been a blessing for me. I've needed to talk to people lately." I told her, explaining how I felt inside.
"And you couldn't share that with Rivu?" Maria asked me rather bitterly.
"No, we just talked. Look, Maria, is there anything else you want to know before I go to bed? I'm rather tired." I told her, stretching this time.
"I was wondering how good of a soldier you were in the past. You don't fight like an amateur but of someone with a lot of experience. That takes something, I wonder if you inherited skill of your father?" Maria enquired almost rhetorically. I just smirked at her and let off a gentle chuckle.
"I can assure you, I inherited nothing force like off my father or it would have been known of by now. I spent a lot of my time around Jedi's." I replied to Maria. I watched as she nodded in my direction and I got up beginning to get undressed.
"Oh.. Um.. Excuse me." Maria replied, blushing deeply as she turned around to give me some privacy.
"It's ok, sister. I'm not going to go totally nude on you. Is there anything else?" I asked her, slipping out of my shirt and pants.
"What tour of duty's were you on, how good were you?" Maria asked me, turning around. I watched her blush deepen as she saw me and I instantly blushed back. I knew that being in the same suite together meant that she would have to see me in just underwear one time or another and vice versa. I figured it would be much more gentlemanly if I clambered into bed and fell asleep first and let her have some kind of privacy.
"Mandalorian.. Sith.. Republic." I replied, being totally honest with Maria.
"Wait a minute, you said Republic? What happened there?" She asked me as I clambered into bed.
"I.. Well. I defected to the Sith. Something I am not proud of." I told her, settling down into bed softly.
"Why is that?" Maria asked.
"I did it for the wrong reasons, don't enquire why." I replied to her, sighing as she asked the questions I knew I would have to answer or tell her not to enquire over. Maria just snorted at my answer however. I guess she thought I was some kind of hypocrite since I was telling her just a minute before that I would answer her questions. However, Revan, was not something I wished to reveal to Maria, yet.
"Can you at least tell me how good you were at your job?" Maria asked me as she sat at the foot of the bed.
"I was.. Well, a war hero.. Very good I guess you could say." I said to her, placing my hands behind my head. "I was a veteran for the Republic.. A Commander, I knew how to do my job, I knew how to get blood on my hands and not care. I guess that came after a while of being so shell shocked. Some people called me the best pilot the Republic ever had, others refer to me as an excellent tactician... I was decorated countless times for acts of bravery, though I really didn't care, I just cared for freedom back then." I said, reiterating all of my past to Maria.
"What memorable battles were you in?" Maria said in reply, rubbing her hair softly and removing it from her hair ties.
"My, you really are curious about me lately. Are you going soft on me Maria? Whatever happened to the threats of my male genitalia flying in certain directions? Or the fact that I may lose my arm if I dare look at you in the wrong way?" I asked with a soft giggle. "All joking aside, I'm glad we're on better terms.. But I really don't like talking about my past battles.. I don't really find them as something to be happy about, I'm not into this honour stuff." I added.
"Come on, humour me, or I may just threaten that arm of yours." Maria replied, smacking my leg through the bed covers.
"Ouch gorgeous, that hurt." I said, rubbing the opposite leg of the one she hit whilst giving her a little wink.
"What did you call me?" Maria asked, blushing slightly.
"I called you gorgeous.." I replied, blushing myself.
"Well, just don't. Anyway, you sure you're not going to humour me Jaro?" Maria all but begged me again.
"Fine.. Fine. A little story, I guess. I was out on a patrol by Tatooine. I was checking out on my sensors that everything was alright. Everything was going as planned until I bumped into three or four Mandalorian star fighters. Of course, they were attacking a defenceless ship.. Well, I did the only thing I could and engaged them. We fought. They died. I lived. I won. And that's the end of that story." I told her with a slight sarcastic grin plastered on my face.
"Alright then." Maria replied as she stretched and stifled a yawn herself. I regarded her softly and realised that she had just pulled more out of me than Revan had ever managed. I also realised that I had changed a lot and I had no reason to really care about the past anymore. As I grew older, I realised that the past was something that just happened, and because it happened there was nothing you could do to change it. The past should just be left and told as it is.
"So, why don't you clamber into bed and join me?" I asked Maria softly, with nothing but a good nights sleep in my mind.
"I'm surprised you asked me that, Jaro. I would have thought you'd be kicking me out in favour of Rivu." Maria said. I regarded her softly again, and watched as a look of some kind of surprise washed over her face.
"No. Why should I? Just come to bed and get a good nights sleep with me." I replied. And then I realised what I had just said and began to blush. "I meant that innocently, by the way. I'd.. Uh.. Not.. Well, think of you in that sense.. Or take advantage of this situation." I added in a hurry.
"I know.. I guess." Maria said softly. I opened the bed covers and gazed in her direction again.
"It's not exactly like I have a choice, but the bed is open for you." I said with a nervous chuckle and smile.
"Is it?" Maria asked bitterly. I shrugged and looked at her totally baffled by her responses.
"Yes! Well, uh..." I trailed off, blushing again. I actually realised that I felt incredibly embarrassed over sharing a bed with Maria. "Well, uh.. That side is yours." I managed to stutter.
"Doesn't look so." She replied bitterly again and with more than a hint of embarrassment once she realised my own. I just stared at her, not knowing how to take her outburst. "I'm going to the 'fresher, be back whenever.." Maria added, walking off.
"Maria! Wait!" I exclaimed, too late, the door shut firmly behind her.
***
Half an hour later I was still awake, wondering when Maria would appear. I decided that it would be best not to confront her again tonight, whatever was making her act strangely would be sorted out when she was on her own I figured. When I heard the door that led to the 'fresher open I closed my eyes and pretended to be in a deep sleep.
I heard light, gentle footsteps creep around on the floor, carefully so she would not wake me. The light in the room went off and I heard the immediate shuffling around in the corner. I figured that Maria was probably getting dressed into some kind of night garment to join me. Their was more shuffling and suddenly I could feel her body heat kneeling beside me.
I could feel her eyes burning against me and I wondered if she knew I was awake. Whatever it was, I had no idea why she was doing it. I suddenly felt two soft fingertips on my forehead and I tried desperately not to open my eyes. Her strokes were gentle but her fingertips had a rough feeling to them. Maria caressed my forehead for a while until I heard her sigh and move her fingers to my hair, brushing it softly.
My mind suddenly wandered. I wondered if on nights when I really had been in a deep sleep had Maria Mortis ever done this to me, I realised now that she cared for me and I was scared of it. Feeling her close to me like this, reminded me of a whole lot of things that I didn't want to experience ever again. Maybe I was just imagining this or maybe I was dreaming it. All I knew was that I wished it wasn't happening.
I didn't want to hurt her if this was how she felt.
I could feel her breath, burning against my face as her head was now inches away from me. I felt her soft lips tenderly kiss my forehead, then the tip of my nose and finally my lips. At that moment in time I wanted to grab her and kiss her back, but I had to keep control of myself, I had to remember that I would only hurt her and I cared far too much for Rivu and Maria to hurt either of them in any shape or form.
All my mind could think was to beg Maria silently not to do this. To not fall for me.
It suddenly fell into place when I heard her whisper. "Rivu is so lucky to have you.."
I realised that Maria had obviously seen me and Rivu hug before and share our conversation. Obviously she got the wrong end of the blaster rifle here. At that moment I realised that I was already hurting her and that I had to explain everything to her.
But when I opened my eyes, she was gone.
***
I was awoken but a few hours later by sharp nudges on my shoulder. Bleary eyed and weary I looked up at who was above my bed, to my dismay, it wasn't Maria, it was a Gammorean Mercenary. All I could make out from his various grunts and growls was that I was to go and see Urna immediately and from the sounds of it, she wasn't too happy. I followed the Gammorean along until Urna was in front of me. "Traitor..." She muttered. I raised my eyebrow at her in surprise.
"What do you mean "traitor"?" I asked her, angered that she would accuse me of such a thing.
"Do you know what Maria was up to whilst you were sleeping, human?" Urna the Hutt asked me. I shrugged in response, I had no clue what this was about and I had no idea why I was being called a traitor. "She was attempting to steal from my palace! It's not something I take kindly to." Urna growled at me. I gazed at Urna, I wanted to say that I had nothing to do with it but Maria was my partner and I decided it would be best if we got into trouble as a team, especially after what she told me before I slept. I watched as Maria was ushered out by a Mercenary, she looked at me, full of shame for herself.
"I'm sorry, Jaro." She muttered towards me. I just stared at her. I was infuriated and at the same time calm. I wondered why she would do such a thing.
"Take them to the pit, let them wonder what we have in store for them a little longer." Urna the Hutt yelled.
Maria and I were reluctantly dragged to our holding cells.
***
"Why did you do it?" I asked her angrily.
"I'm sorry..." Was all Maria could manage. I paced back and forth in my holding cell, adjacent to hers. The cells were ancient compared to many force fielded cells that are standard of the Republic and Sith. I suppose for Urna's purposes these would do. Maria was sitting down, cross legged and staring onto the floor, blankly. After a while of pacing back and forth I walked towards her cell, reaching for the cold metal bars separating us with both of my worn hands. I grasped them and stared at her.
"Is that *all* you have to say? What were you thinking?" I asked her yet again. "OUT WITH IT!" I yelled. I watched as Maria bowed her head in an emotion I couldn't describe, my yelling only seemed to drag her further down into some kind of hole.
"I just.. I just thought that you didn't believe in me. That you didn't think I was strong, I wanted to prove to you that I am." Maria replied, sighing and bowing her head even further. She closed her eyes before speaking again. "I'm too full of pride.. Forgive me."
"I can't forgive you for this. You know what that is? That's.. That's so damn childish, so immature, sister! You're worse than Rivu, you know that?" I yelled at her. "Or was their more to it than that? You know what I think, Maria? I think you wanted to do it because you wanted revenge on me, because you were ashamed of the fact that I called you my slave." I added, infuriated.
"It wasn't like that.." Maria replied. I watched her carefully as she seemingly tried to control her anger and her emotions.
"Of course it was!" I exclaimed. I watched as Maria rose to her feet and strode over towards me. She wrapped her hand around my collar and dragged me into the bars that separated us.
"It would be most wise if you closed your mouth..." Maria muttered in complete anger.
"What are you going to do, Maria? We're separated by bars." I replied.
"I'll choke you to death... With no remorse..." She replied, her grip tightening.
"Get off!" I exclaimed as I pried her hands away from my collar and threw them in her direction. I sat down in the middle of my holding cell and contemplated everything, it wasn't long until I was disturbed.
"You two! You mere arrogant pets! You do know why you are here, right?" The "pet keeper" asked me.
"No." I replied shortly.
"You are here to fight to the death. The person who wins in the final gets their freedom." The pet keeper replied.
***
I watched Maria fight her own battles. I had already won my own battles in the arena and I was due to meet either Maria or her attacker in the final. Maria had told me so many times that she was regretting having to kill all these people but she knew it was survival of the fittest and it was the only viable thing she could do. It amazed me that such a heartless woman as herself could regret having to kill, but I realised that after the episode last night, she had a heart.
It was one that I owned..
I heard the crowd cheer as Maria became the victor of her battle.
I cringed, I knew we had to fight each other next.
"I will make a plan for you Maria.. I promise..."
***
I was awoken from the dreams of my past when I heard a faint scratching on my cell door. I looked up and in the darkness, I could not see who my rescuer was. I sighed and rubbed my eyes, feeling the dried up tears that littered my face. Had I really cried in my sleep?
The one thing I did know was that I missed Maria.
And that Urna the Hutt would pay for her death...
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Hey everyone. Sorry about the lack of updates. I've been very busy with some stuff and I haven't had chance to write past this (And I've had a free week to do it). Anyway, I never published these two chapters, then I got three reviews and I figured, I better had.
Shadow 39: I hope this quenches your thirst.
Gollo: I guess things have been revealed over Maria now... Or have they? :D.
Vivid Scrips: Hey! As you know, and from my note above.. I've been -real- busy and just damn lazy.. I saw you have the last chapter of your story up and I'll pick up my ass and go around to see your stuff on the force.net :).
MD: Nah, you're not stupid.. Yes, I'm keeping it up :D
Bjrn Fallqvist: Thanks for the support man, it's greatly appreciated.
CrimsonMyst: Pffft... Un-lazy yourself and start logging in :D.. Just kidding.. Bah, yeah, I've been a bit ratty with people reviewing, huh? I genuinely forgot about you guys who are too shy to review, though.. I just neglected this story.. But I promise to start writing again soon :).
Starlight the Wanderer: Ar-har :D.. I see.. Well, yes most of the characters are dead besides HK-47 and T3-M4.. I actually WAS planning on adding them later because I realised that it IS one of my story's faults :). I do feel that I don't write HK-47 convincingly enough, however. But hey, we'll see how it goes.. Your request has been noted! Hey, I think everyone has had there suspicions over this story.. But I guess a lot of it is changing now?
Don't worry everyone, I'll try not to leave you in suspense too much longer :).
Sorry about the un-coolness of grammar, punctuation and spelling in this chapter, by the way (.