Disclaimer: I don't own CCS
Summary: Syaoran, 21 years old, wants something more... like he's missing something... could it be Sakura? Is death a price really needed for love?
In the End: Part three
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Syaoran sighed heavilly. Then again. Then again. Then again. Then again. Then, not again.
He stared at the photo he had on his desk of a 15-year-old teenager. She had short auburn hair, sparkling emerald green eyes, and a genki smile plastered on her face. She was standing next a boy, who was around the same age as her. He had chestnut brown hair and warm amber eyes. He was smiling back at the girl with 'coolness' around him. At the bottom of the frame two names were engraved in pink and green lettering. Kinomoto Sakura and Syaoran Li. Friends Forever.
'I still don't believe it's my fault she commited suicide.' He looked sadly at his work he had to finish. 'I'm not in the mood to work anymore... I want to go out and search for something that seems to be missing in my heart.' He ran his fingers through his hair.((Light bulb moment))
He picked up the phone and dialed to many people while scribbling furiously on some paperwork he had to fill out in order for his idea to work. Finally he called one last person. "Hey Eriol, it's me. Syaoran."
"Oh, hi Syaoran. What's up?"
"I've decided to let you take over Li Corp."
"Haha, very funny."
"I'm serious. I'm handing it over to you. Tomorrow you start work."
"Oh my kami... really? THANKS!" The phone hung up.Syaoran packed up his things in a box. "I won't give up until I find the missing piece of my heart..." It's been a year since he found Sakura killed herself in her own house. He visits everyday to make sure the body never rotted away or etc. He drove back to his small apartment. He didn't really have anything to do anymore... no work. No love life. No nothing. He turned on the radio, it was in the middle of a song but he knew which song it was. An image of Sakura flashed in his head.'Why can't I stop thinking about her today? She's dead... why? It is true: He always worked harder when Sakura pushed him a bit-in a friends way' He stared at the window...'I think I'll visit Sakura...'
He changed into more confortable clothes- he was wearing dull business suits required for his past job. Another part of the past... just seconds ago... he was on the phone with Eriol, now he passed by Penguin Park...
((Flashback))
"So Sakura, why'd you want me to meet you here." Syaoran asked when they reached the park.
"W-well I-I w-wanted t-to tell you t-th-that Iloveyou."
Syaoran looked at her awkwardly. "What?"
"I-I er... I.. ano.. I lo-love y-you."
Syaoran looked at her again. Then laughed, it was the joking laugh or warm laugh Syaoran cracked when she was around. It was cold, and insulting. Most importantly: hurting.
"HAHAHA SAKURA HAHAHAHA I WOULD HAHAHA NEVER HAVE HAHAHA THOSE HAHAHA FEELINGS HAHAHA TO-TOWARDS A- A- HAHAHA NERD!" Syaoran rolled over. When he stopped laughing he smirked at her. "You need to stop dreamin. From this point on though," He looked at her darkly. "I never want to see that face again. I love Mina, and she loves me. I don't need a third wheel and so your tiny brain understands: I don't need you." Syaoran walked off, laughing along.
((End of Flashback))
"If I own my life, how come I can't control the specific going-ons of it?" He hated himself for so many things. But since he didn't really control some of the events, did it mean that he hated life? Or faith? So when you hate something is it really you hate that thing? Or is it that you hate the nothingness of that happening?His head hurt, emotionally and physically. "God, how did Sakura take all this pain..." He looked at her house. "Maybe because she didn't...she killed herslef, nobody on the face of the Earth could stand the Pandora's box... Heartbrake, rejection, being hated by your so called best friend..."Tears formed in the corner of the eyes. "And all I did was stand there and let it all happen..."
When you look up the word gullible it won't be there. If you try to answer all the questions you want answer, all the answers won't be there. There are far many too questions and us, flawful humans don't see the answer, until its too late...or we don't even see it at all.
For instance, Syaoran couldn't see.. he didn't think of looking yet it was right in front of him... Letters on Sakura's door that just appeared, one by one a letter just popped right there. But like the word 'gullible' he didn't see... He slowly turned the doorknob, he sat next to the pale body. Another thing he didn't notice? The body was growing paler every day... maybe slightly...but it was.
He could've of lived a happy life. He shouldn't have rejected her, but he wouldn't've if Mina wasn't in the way... It's wierd how effectively it is to use could, should, and would in things that had already means what can happen if someone HAD done it. Would means that you could've done it but you didn't and you could've if you hadn't. Should is what you are expected to do anywho...but you might not of. He squinted down at her..."What is this thing I feel like I'm missing. It seems like when I'm with you...the gap is filled...even if you aren't really here..." He gripped onto her hand. It was cold, yet warm at the same time. He felt like he was full, but how long would that feeling last?
Tears of sorrow, grief, guilt, and joy filled his eyes. "God, how can you really love somebody who's gone on..." He whispered."...but do I still love her the way... I should've, could've...would've...if she was still alive? Could I have had these feelings? Did I? Would I? Should I?" His tears fell onto her cheek, which grew paler."Eh?" He examined her face... "How is this happening? WHEN?" He started panting heavilly. "I-I-I put my magic into her body to save i-it...how can it become pale? I-I..." He tore out of the room fustration running through his veins...that's when he finally saw it. He finally saw the small lettering that appeared in the middle of the door... he recognized the handwriting too...
My time has come to rot away in human life. I must fade into the depths of the world above of Earth. Before I make my last move I hope you, Syaoran, sees this. Day by day I add a letter here for you to read. I forgive the actions that have happened in the past. They've already happened and no one, not even the angels of the Earth, can reverse our mistakes, our pains, our deaths. What I want you to abslutely know is that, I love yo
When his eyes reached the last word the door was carved after it into a 'u'.
I love you.
He put his hand over the words. He traced each letter slowly, taking in every word again... making sure he knew the words...that she said...or would've... could've... but should she have if she was still alive?
"Sa...ku...ra"
Tears fell from his eyes again. He couldn't help it. Out of all of the wrongs..why does she keep telling him she had forgiven him? How come every time would bring tears to his eyes? He cried... but it felt like some of those tears weren't his...
He read the words over and over and over again... "I can't take it anymore...I'm tired of trying to move on...why can't I just move backwards instead?"
Backward...
"Sakura had a solution to end her pain...why can't I do the same...yet how?" Yeah, he's gonna do it. Commit suicide just like Sakura had. Should he though? He thought it through... Then ran his fingers through his hair."Sakura..." It just felt so comforting...to repeat her name over and over again. For a while anyway.
"I never actually thought how much Sakura cared about me...how you never know what you have until its gone." He looked thought the door and stared at her pale face. "She won't be the only one dead." He traced the words one more time before he made his final descision. He shuffled down the stairs...his heart racing at what he was about to do...but he had to. He found a gun in one of the small, hidden kitchen departments and walked back up the stairs. He laid in the bed next to Sakura... "I swear I won't regret this...In the name of love I leave the face of the Earth." He slowly applied pressure onto the button of the gun. Finally pushing it fully. A small bullet filled with poison liquid flew to his chest. It pierced into his skin. "This is all worth it. This is all for Sakura." It hurt like h3ll. More than the depths of eternal heartbreak, but less than the loss of a loved one. Blood gushed out of his chest and stained his shirt. He moaned, but not in pain...he moaned for Sakura. Everything flashed a bright white...then pitch black and he was blinded...He woke up again...looking into two emerald gems. Familiar emerald gems. "Sa...kura..." Was the first thing that came out of his mouth. "It's me...I've been waiting for you...forever, I knew you'd come back. I knew Mina couldn't take the kind, gentle wolf that once was..." Her full face came into vision.
Small tears formed at the corner of her eyes but she held them back. "I'm just happy t-that y-you're...back." She leaned down over him closer. Finally, the two souls were finally joined. Their lips met in a blissful kiss. The love card flew out of Syaoran's pocket and floated over them, radiating in pink and green. There is a legend, that when the purest of two souls on the Earth are joined...they trigger the glow, the power of the love card... Of all times all pain ends... "From now on we can be together without someone in the way...without as much pain as before...Syaoran...Aisheteru." Joyful tears formed at the corner of her eyes."I'm so sorry for pushing you away...I-I want you to know..Wo ai ne..." The kissed again..lost in the chapels of love.
They broke apart staring at each other deeply. Paralyzed...not really sure what to do next. But should they really care? They could live together forever...it didn't matter what they did next, they had all the time of the world to be together.
"Aishiteru Syaoran-koi."
"Aishiteru Sakura-koi."
There never is an end to the circle of life, only a fork in the road. Life is a circle, not a perfectly curved one that goes perfectly round. Life is the most complicated cycle we go through. In the end, there is only one ending for love, a hopeful one. One you can look up from and think back upon.And when you think of death...
...never think of the end...
...just the begining of a new, different hope.