Chapter 14 (nothing but the truth part b)

'You're right, I can't let that happen. Whatever I do, I have to make sure that I don't develop those feelings for him again. That night after the gig was different. It was alcohol fuelled, but no more excuses.'

Lily looked dejectedly at the floor, she knew she was doing the right thing not giving into James. But why if she knew it was right, did it feel so wrong?

James was watching Lily out of the corner of his eye. He knew she was finding this pleasant he could tell by her expression, but he wanted this walk to be over quickly so that they could sit down and talk about what had happened and what was going to happen. This was why he was walking so fast. He had hoped he could loose Sirius and Roxie so that he and Lily could talk alone. So far, his planned seemed to be working.

Just as he was about to loose himself in his Lily thoughts he saw her wince as if in pain.

He watched her for a moment longer as her gaze shifted to dejectedly watch her feet. He couldn't bear to watch any longer, especially when she looked like that.

He reached over and put his hand softly on her shoulder, she shivered at the touch. Though whether it was pleasure or not he could not have said.

"Lils, are you ok? You look sad." She looked down into her eyes and saw them soften slightly. She smiled at him, though it did not reach her eyes.

"I'm fine James… just remembering something." She trailed off into silence. As she said that she felt James's arm stiffen. He knew what she was remembering. She looked into his eyes and smiled reassuringly, trying to make him think that it wasn't him she was thinking about.

He smiled back but the tension remained. He dropped his gazed and carried on walking inwardly striking himself for that day in fourth year.

'I have to make her forget! Why is she still thinking of that? Does she want to hate me? Agh, this is so difficult!"

They carried on in silence until they reached the pub

-(-(-(-)-)-)-

James and Lily found the last table in the Three Broomsticks. It was a small table in the corner that seemed to have been overlooked by everybody else. James was relieved, he didn't want to have to go through this knowing that people could hear him. His plan today was to subtly plead his case. Try to make Lily see him for the person he was now, not what he used to be. He had matured now, he wouldn't hurt her anymore. He obviously had to remind her about that because it seemed she was telling herself the exact opposite.

"Lily! Over here!" he called over to Lily who had insisted on buying the drinks for this meeting.

'Meeting? Bloody meeting? I can't believe she called this a sodding meeting!'

When she had weaved her way through the zone of endless people she came to settle opposite James. She handed him his Butter Beer and smiled at him. Willing him to start talking.

He took a deep breath.

"Well, we both know why we are here…" Lily giggled, he carried on as if nothing had interrupted him. "So I want to get this sorted as painfully as possible." This time she snorted into her Butter Beer, sending froth up and landing on her nose.

"What are you laughing at?" he asked, slightly annoyed.

"Nothing, it's just that you, well, you're acting so…so… what's the word I'm looking for… conservative. I just don't remember you ever being like this." She smiled at him with laughter in her eyes.

"Yes, well, you were the one to call this a… a 'meeting'" hurt flashed through his eyes for a second before disappearing again. "So I decided to act like a mature adult and do what I thought you wanted to do." He nodded his head at the end as if to reassure himself that that was actually what he was doing.

Oh. Well, I didn't realise, sorry. But maybe you should ask me what I want instead of assuming." Their gazes locked for a couple of seconds before they both looked away, breaking the trance.

"OK then, how do you want to approach this?" he asked after taking a long drink from his glass.

"Well, I wouldn't mind trying to approach this while talking as… friends… instead of acquaintances. That would kill the tension and maybe we'll be able to find more common ground with one another."

'No! I don't want to do that! If I try to find common ground I'll end up falling for him again and we all know what'll happen then. He'll go out with me for a week and then he'll dump me like yesterday's news and I'll be alone…again."

"Ok then, well, we may as well start close to home. So, what's your favourite subject?" he asked in a brighter spirit.

"Um…I don't know, I love them all. I suppose it's going to have to be charms though…followed by DADA, or no, maybe transfiguration, actually…um, I love them all! But charms has got to be the best! Yes. Charms." She nodded her head to signify the finality of her choice. James chuckled.

"You really love school don't you?" he asked curiously. She blushed slightly before answering.

"Well yes I do. You see, it's different being muggle-born. There's always a pressure on you, like people are expecting you to be second best to the pure bloods. I want to change that, I really want to show everyone that I can be just as successful as any pure blood wizard."

James smiled at her eagerness, transfixed by the flush in her cheeks and her animated eyes as she spoke about something she truly loved.

"And there's also the fact that it's all so new! I mean, I wake up every morning wondering how such an incredible world could have existed under my nose without me knowing about it. It was strange because I knew that there was something missing in my life, but I just couldn't place it. And all of the other children at my school thought I was odd before I came here. I never did belong. Strange things would happen, little things, but they'd be out of place, not making sense in the world that I was used to."

She paused for a breath and then seemed to catch herself. "Sorry, I sometimes go off on one when I'm excited." She smiled sheepishly and then took a small sip from her glass.

"What's your favourite subject?" she asked after swallowing the liquid.

"Definitely DADA and, even though I'm ashamed to admit it, potions. You see I want to be an auror. I love helping people and I really think that that would be the job for me."

She looked at him thoughtfully. "It'll be hard work."

"I'm not afraid to work for something I want." He replied instantly, looking into her eyes. She held his gaze, but then quickly looked away while biting her lip. He carried on, determined to get her back on track.

"So what do you want to do after Hogwarts?" he asked casually.

"Oh, I don't know, I definitely want to work for the Ministry, and I want to help people. I could be an auror, but I really want to have charms as my main focus. So I don't know if that's the job I'm looking for."

"Well, you could always go in for being an Unspeakable. They have to excel in all fields. I really think you could do it."

"You do?"

"Yes, I do, and what better way is there to prove yourself then to become probably one of the most highest ranking, not to mention mysterious, jobs in the Ministry?"

Lily blushed, flattered by what he had just said.

And so they carried on in that vein for the next few hours, just finding out about each other, finding more and more that they had in common. By the time that they had left the pub Lily had forgotten about all of her worries.

-(-(-(-)-)-)-

Sirius and Roxie walked into the Three Broomsticks ten minutes after Lily and James and looked around to find them. They finally spotted them in the corner but when Roxie had started to walk over a hand on her arm had stopped her.

She turned around to look into Sirius's eyes.

"Don't you want to go over there?" she asked genuinely confused.

"Rox look at them. They're finally getting on and having a civilised conversation. I don't want to interrupt them." He looked around searching for more tables. "No more tables left, bloody third years, I swear they multiply every year."

"Aww, don't be mean, they're sweet." She replied while looking at a third year girl and boy who looked like they were on a first ever date. She watched as the boy reached over and held the girl's hand nervously, nearly knocking over his drink in the process. They both blushed crimson and she inwardly gushed at how cute the sight was. She remembered those days, but she didn't remember ever being that awkward. She was broken out of her reverie by Sirius's deep voice.

"Come on, let's go. Let's just go down to the Flaming Bolt. You never know, we might even get served some real alcohol down there."

He led her out of the pub by her hand and she followed willingly.

'You never know, I might even get a dance out of him.'

Ten minutes later they had left the commercial side of Hogsmeade and were in the more trendy side. The large sign to the Flaming Bolt enticing them to come in, but no more so then the 'over 18's only' sign.

They both grinned at each other and pushed their way through the door. They knew they'd be safe from any age charm because they didn't really need it during the week. It was only really on Friday nights that the local teenagers would try to get in.

Sirius walked casually up to the bar with Roxie on his arm. He looked over the menu of drinks and then chose his favourite for himself and for Roxie.

"Two sex on the Beach, please."  He asked smoothly. Without hesitation the bar maid served up the drinks but not without checking out Sirius with a quick glance and then giving Roxie a slight evil glare.

Roxie, not missing a beat, linked her arm possessively through Sirius's and smiled, albeit extremely fake, at the barmaid. When she had served them their drinks and Sirius had paid they made their way over to a free table.

He chuckled. "She was jealous you know."

"Jealous of what?" she asked in return.

"Jealous of you being on my arm and not her."

"I beg your pardon? Sirius, you better not be treating me as a trophy because trust me, you don't have enough brownie points left to even consider doing that." She retorted with a hint of malice.

"Rox, woah, calm down, I didn't mean it like that at all." He said reassuringly while he covered her hand with his.

She felt herself blush and was suddenly reminded of the third year couple in the Three Broomsticks.

'Well, at least Sirius isn't so nervous he nearly knocks his drink over me.' She chuckled at the thought, catching the attention of Sirius.

"What's funny?" he asked curiously.

"Nothing, it's just that I saw this cute little couple in the Three Broomsticks and it must've been there first date. The boy did exactly what you did with his hand but nearly knocked his drink over her in the process and they both blushed beetroot. It was so sweet. I was just thinking that this is kind of the same situation."

"Aha, so this is a date is it?" he grinned triumphantly.

"Maybe, but you have to try and prove yourself worthy of my undivided attention before I agree officially." She lifted an eyebrow and smirked at him.

He leant in closer to her across the table and said in a low, seductive growl.

"And what, Ms Kato, do I have to do to 'prove myself'?"

She leant in as well, there faces mere centimetres apart, there noses brushing gently now and then, there cool, sweet, breath on each other's lips.

"Use your imagination…Master Black." She whispered, sending sensations down Sirius's spine. He smirked sexily, and leant forward intending to capture her lips, he was so close, he could taste the alcohol mingling with her breath. He started to close his eyes when…

"Sirius! Is that you? Oh, how are you?" they both spun around, thinking that they had just been busted for being out of bounds but when they saw who it was, they realised it was worse then that.

Sirius's blonde bombshell from the gig was standing there wearing clothes that left pretty much nothing to the imagination. Sirius groaned inwardly and had to refrain himself from smacking himself in the forehead. He was about to speak when Roxie stole his moment.

"I'm terribly sorry, but do you mind going away because I do believe we were in the middle of something." She spoke in a cold voice and gave an even colder smile that didn't reach her eyes. The blond looked at her as if seeing her for the first time.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't actually notice you." She retorted giving her a bitchy glare.

"Yes, I don't blame you, with tits that big I'd have trouble seeing in front of me as well."

"Well, at least I have some, unlike you."

"Look, Ms…whatever, your name doesn't actually matter, I'm sure no one else asks for it. But that's beside the point. All I can say is that at least I don't need a well placed and dramatically overdone engorgement charm just to get laid. I have other qualities, you know, such as intellect." She smiled sweetly, the blonde seemed at a loss and didn't reply quickly enough. Roxie took this as a cue to carry on.

"Oh I'm sorry, was that too many syllables? When I said intellect, I meant brain. Something in my head that isn't peroxide."

The blonde puffed out her chest making herself as intimidating as possible.

"How dare you speak to me like that?! I should hex your fucking arse all the way to China and back for even suggesting such things! One thing I don't dye my hair, it is this colour naturally. Two, I do have intell…a brain. And three, my breasts are one hundred percent natural!" At this both Roxie and Sirius burst out laughing and Sirius took over in the taunting.

"Look…um…hey Roxie you're right, I don't know her name! Well, anyway, I know for a fact that those are not natural because they have gone up at least another cup size since Wednesday. Also, you can't even say intellect, and three, you're roots need doing. Oh, and one more thing. I don't normally threaten girls, but of you even try to harm one hair on Roxie's head, I will make sure that you will receive that and worse right back at you, understand?" he added in a low, threatening voice, making the blonde's eyes widen in shock.

"Come on Sirius, let's go. I swear if she shakes any more that I'm going to get my eyes poked out by miss can't-afford-a-bra over here. Good day." And with that Roxie stood up and held her hand out to Sirius who readily took it.

So they walked out of the bar together hand in hand. Roxie felt lighter then air after Sirius had come to her defence. And what's more, he had meant it. She was glad it wasn't her on the end of that glare. It was scary. Once again her heart fluttered. It had only been a couple of days, but she had definitely forgiven him. Hell, how could she not forgive him? She loved him.

-(-(-(-)-)-)-

James and Lily wandered out of the pub about an hour before they were due to go back to Hogwarts. They decided that they didn't need to buy anything and that they really should talk about what they had planned in the first place.

They were walking around Hogsmeade in companionable silence to try to find an unoccupied bench so that they could be completely alone to talk. They finally found one by the bottom of the hill that went up to the shrieking shack.

"So…" James started awkwardly.

"Yeah…" Lily finished off.

They looked at each other and started into a fresh wave of nervous giggles.

"So, what's going to happen with us Lily? You said that you missed me and you didn't hate me. After that you kissed me. I don't know where I stand with you." James looked to the ground not wanting, yet yearning for the answer.

'Okay Evans, now's the time for self control. Friends is okay, but nothing, and I mean NOTHING more!' Once again Lily was training her self-control.

"Well," she started slowly, "I think that today proved something to us James. And that's the fact that we can easily be friends. But…but nothing more." She looked to the ground avoiding his gaze that was now trained on her.

"Just friends, nothing more. Okay, well, I can live with that, but as a friend answer me one question." He asked flatly, considering his every word.

"Okay, go ahead." She replied not wanting the question she knew that was coming.

"When you kissed me, did you feel anything more for me then…just friendship?"

"No" she whispered quietly, not making eye contact.

"Look at me and say that Lily."

"No, I can't." she whispered again.

"Please," he begged his voice cracking. She complied.

She looked into his eyes and felt a torrent of emotion run through her. It took all of her self-control not to cry, run away and hide.

"Say it." He whispered hoarsely.

"I felt nothing." Tears welled up in her eyes. He gently held her chin up as he studied her face.

"You're lying." He replied after a while, he looked away feeling a pain deep inside of him. Lily almost broke down then and there. She didn't know what it was about his expression as he looked away; all she knew is that it caused her to tell him more.

"I felt…something. An old emotion coming back to haunt me. I loved you James, but…but that was reduced to wreckage the moment I walked into the tower that day. I'm sorry James…but it hurt…so much…I can't go through that again." Tears now burned their icy path down her cheeks.

James felt the knot in his throat tighten. Those words, those cruel words had just twisted the knife back into an old wound.

"To haunt you? Was it really that terrible loving me?" he couldn't believe what he had heard.

"No! It's just I got hurt so badly, you were my first love and…I'm just so sorry." She was crying openly now.

"Sorry? Sorry for what? For making me believe that I had a chance with the one girl I've ever really cared for? For giving me the hope that maybe I had been forgiven for a mistake that I made when I was 14? I just can't believe… I'm sorry, I have to go now." He was afraid Lily would see his tears that were threatening to fall.

"James?" she whispered to his retreating back.

"No Lily, I see how you feel now. And I know how you felt back then as well. You were, and are still, my first love. And yes, you've just broken my heart. Now I know how it feels, are you happy now? Happy now that you've finally managed to hurt me like I did you?" he was angry now. He watched how Lily's face became a collage of emotions. Hurt, pain, sadness, truth.

"No James that's not it. You're a good person and-"

"Obviously not good enough for you." He retorted bitterly.

"Can we…can we still be friends?" she asked timidly through the tears.

"Can we…can…st…still be…friends?" he managed to stutter out in waves of disbelief.

"I love you Lily, but I can't just sit and watch you get on with your life with me as an extra wheel. As the 'good friend'. I need more then that, I need you. But I'm not going to get that, so no. We can't be friends. I couldn't handle that. Good Bye Lily." He was speaking quietly now, she could tell that it came from the heart. He turned away as the first tear fell, hoping that she wouldn't see it.

But she did.

-(-(-(-)-)-)-

As soon as Sirius and Roxie got out of the bar Roxie spun to face him.

"Sirius, what you did in there, you proved to me that…that you really do care for me." She said while looking at the ground. He tilted her chin up with his index finger.

"Of course I care about you…I always have…since the first moment I met you…I've…I've cared about you." He looked into her eyes; he had just managed to catch himself before he told her the truth.

"Oh Sirius." She breathed and closed the gap between them, bringing him into a passionate kiss that lasted what seemed like forever.

When they finally broke apart Sirius smiled and Roxie gasped.

"Wow"

"Just what I was thinking."

"Sirius…I was thinking…-"

"Me too, I was just wondering…-"

"Would you be my…-"

"Girlfriend?" Sirius bit his lip in anticipation of her answer. He looked into her eyes and felt lighter then air with what he saw there. He saw the beginning of his life. A new life, one filled with love and caring, instead of hate and lust. He sighed happily.

"Oh Sirius, I'd be honoured." And brought him into another kiss.

-(-(-(-)-)-)-

Later that afternoon about an hour before they were meant to be due back Sirius took Roxie for the walk he promised her. They walked hand in hand occasionally stopping for a kiss or cuddle. Now that they had found each other they didn't want to let go.

He was about to take her up the hill to the lonely bench by the shrieking shack when he saw Lily and James sit down at that moment and start laughing together over something they had said. He watched and saw the pure admiration in each other's eyes, even from that distance.

Roxie pulled at his arm.

"Come on Sirius, this is a private moment between them, lets just leave them too it." She said softly.

"Yeah, you're right, they look so good together, and it looks like they've sorted everything out."

"I hope so, that would mean a hell of a lot less headaches!" she chuckled softly.

"Come on, let's go."

As they walked away, their backs turned and their ears closed, completely unaware, to the scene behind them, Sirius sighed contentedly.

"What is it Sirius?"

"I just have a feeling that everyone is going to have story to tell tomorrow."

Little did he know that he was nothing short of dead right.

A/N: WOOHOO! I'VE DECIDED AS I'VE BEEN SO BAD AT UPDATING I WOULD DO THE NEXT CHAPTER AND MAKE IT REEAAAAAAAAALLLY LONG!

I KNOW THAT MY WRITING IN CHPTRS 11 AND 12 KINDA SUCKED ARSE SO I HOPE I'VE MADE UP FOR IT IN THIS CHAPTER.

READ AND REVIEW! TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!

SORRY BOUTALL THE PART B STUFF ANDALL THAT BUT IF I WRITE A LONG CHAPTER THEY NEVER UPLOAD PROPERLY!

LUV YA ALL!

SNAKE XX