A/N: HELLO AGAIN! I COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO DO ANY REVISION FOR THE MOMENT SO I DECIDED I MIGHT WRITE ANOTHER CHAPTER! JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YOU, ONCE AGAIN, TO ALL OF MY REVIEWERS! YOU GUY'S ROCK!

ALSO, HAVING A BIT OF TROUBLE WITH THE POV CHANGES, THE BORDERLINES WON'T BE IN THE UPLOAD! SO I'M JUST GOING TO TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT AND SEE IF THAT WORKS!

AND SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, I GIVE YOU…

Chapter 16

Lily lay soaking in the bath going over the days occurrences in her head. It was all so…confusing. And she hated that, Lily never got confused, but in the seldom case that she did, she was able to go to the library and sort it out. She highly doubted that there was a book on how to manage teenage life.

Then it occurred to her.

'Write it down! That always helps me if I just write it down! When it's all on paper I'll be able to draw a sensible conclusion. Perfect!'

And with that comforting thought and a steaming bath, Lily felt the tension flow out of her shoulders and into the bathwater. She breathed out deeply, letting any unpleasant thought be exhaled with her breath.

-(-(-(-)-)-)-

James dejectedly made his way up to the Gryffindor seventh year boys' dorm. He walked straight through the common room where Sirius and Roxie sat and up the stairs.

As he walked in he noticed that there were no other seventh years in yet which he was thankful for, but was also slightly bitter.

'They probably all have some girl to be with; it's only me that's the lonely one.' He thought resentfully.

He lay on his bed and drew the curtains. He just wanted to be alone, well no that was a lie…he just wanted to be with Lily.

-(-(-(-)-)-)-

Sirius and Roxie were sitting on the armchair by the fire together. Roxie sat on his lap while he held her around the waist. Neither had ever been so content. They were there with the person of their dreams, by a roaring fire, and it seemed like they were the only ones in the whole world.

Roxie sighed happily.

"Sirius, why didn't you convince me earlier to be your girlfriend?" she asked dreamily, still in pleasant shock from that afternoon.

He looked at her completely and utterly confused.

"Rox, I have been trying to get you to be my girlfriend! Ever since, hmm, fourth year? Or was it before that? But you, little missy, just spent the whole time ignoring me or making fun of me…meanie." He muttered the last word and then pouted crossly in such an adorable way that Roxie couldn't help but laugh and feel sorry for him.

"Aww Sirius, you know I didn't mean it. I have actually really liked you for ages, since…I don't know when. But I was always afraid that you saw me as a prize instead of a human being with feelings. I didn't want to end up as another one of your fuck buddies. I'm sorry I thought like that." She said softly, regret plain in her eyes.

"Don't apologise Rox, it's me who made you think like that. But anyway, let's not talk about what could have been, when we could talk about what is going to be." He said while nuzzling her neck. She lowered her mouth to his ear and smiled cheekily.

"How about we don't talk at all?" she bit her lip and looked at him in a seductively innocent manner. He smiled back, melting her heart in the process.

"That's the best idea you've had all day, my dear."

He leant in for a kiss; their lips were mere seconds from touching, and that raw electricity of emotion so close.

But it wasn't meant to be.

At that moment the portrait door opened and a crestfallen James Potter walked into the common room. He looked nowhere but at the floor. He didn't even notice Roxie and Sirius sitting there watching him. He just walked straight past them and up the stairs to the boys' dorm.

"He didn't look too happy, I wonder what happened. You don't think something went wrong with him and Lily do you?" Roxie asked quietly, as if James was able to hear if she spoke normally.

"I don't know Rox; maybe I should go check on him." He quickly brushed his lips against hers and then stood up picking her up with him then placing her gently back down on the chair. She smiled mischievously, her eyes considerably darker.

"When did you get so strong Sirius?" she asked huskily. He looked back at her and smirked.

"I've been working out Rox, just wait until you see what else I can show you, you'll love it, I promise." And with that said, he made his way up to the boys' dorm.

"Don't you worry Sirius, I know that I'm going to love every inch of you." She said quietly to herself. Thinking of all the possibilities of what he could have meant.

-(-(-(-)-)-)-

Lily now refreshed from her bath, got into her pyjamas and went down into the common room. She looked over to Remus's room and smiled knowingly to herself. He was still in there, and it appeared that Jess was as well.

She got a piece of parchment out and a quill and put two headings at the top of the paper: 'I should' and 'I shouldn't'.

"Okay, I can do this. I definitely have feelings for him, that's a should. But I don't want to be hurt, so that's a shouldn't. There's also that I want him to be happy, that's a should. I don't want him to be hurt by all this, so that's a should."

Lily carried on in this vein for a long time before she came back to her last point.

"I don't want to lie anymore. That's a should."

She exhaled deeply and then looked back at her piece of parchment.

"Oh no, that's not good." She sighed and buried her head in her hands.

'Why does the 'I should' column completely out weigh the 'I shouldn't' column?' She thought to herself.

'That's easy, it's because you know you have feelings for the boy, and now it's even on parchment, what more proof do you want?' replied that annoying voice.

Lily furrowed her brow and racked her brains; inspiration came to her in an instant. She started to scribble furiously on the parchment. After two short minutes the 'I shouldn't' column was longer then the other. She nodded and smiled. Satisfied with her system she started to write her conclusion at the bottom.

'Now that all the possibilities have been measured up I can safely say that the reasons for which I shouldn't go out with James seem to over power those that say I should go out with him. So for conclusion I have decided that I must get over these feelings I have for him by finding someone new. Someone more like me. I know that this will help me to forget about James.'

Suddenly feeling tired Lily decided to go to bed, it had been a hard day, physically and emotionally.

'But bed means I have to move, maybe I'll just shut my eyes on the sofa for five minutes…yes, and then I'll go up.'

So she did and was asleep in an instant. The piece of parchment that she held slipped from her fingers and under the sofa, soon to be forgotten.

-(-(-(-)-)-)-

"Prongsie? Prongsie mate, what's with the long face?" Sirius sat down at the end of James bed and looked at his best friend.

James lay there on his side facing away from Sirius not wanting to let his best friend see his face. He knew that his red rimmed eyes and stained cheeks would give him away.

"Nothing, I'm just tired, leave me alone." His monotone voice refused to reveal any hint of emotion. Sirius narrowed his eyes at his best friends form. He shook his head.

"It's not nothing James, tell me what's up."

James just grunted in reply and rolled over so he was face down into his pillow.

"Fine then. If you're not going to talk, you're going to have to listen. Guess what happened in Hogsmeade today?" he started, getting comfortable on James bed, he knew he was going to be there for a while.

"Mmmfff." He replied.

"Well, as you know me and Roxie were abandoned by you and Lily so we ended up going back to the Flaming Bolt. And we were having a really nice time, she was flirting like anything, but then again who blames her? I am Sirius Black. And anyway you'll never guess who we saw there…it was that blonde bitch that I shagged, anyway Rox and her started going at each others throats and I stood up for Rox and now, well long story short, she's my girlfriend and I couldn't be happier! What do you think?" he asked trying to sound cheerful enough to annoy James so that he would finally break and tell Sirius what was wrong.

"…mmmfff…"

"Sorry mate didn't catch that."

"I said…mmmfff."

'Excellent, he's starting to warm up to me. Now for the bull's eye.' Sirius thought slyly to himself.

"So anyway, after she agreed to go out with me I decided that I would take her to a nice secluded spot. But guess who was there before me? You and Lily, both looking rather happy if you ask me. But then again, you walk in her looking like it's the end of the world and…" but Sirius never got to finish his sentence as a pillow hit him square in the face.

He dragged the pillow off from over his eyes and was met with troubled blue eyes. Sirius was taken aback. James eyes were slightly swollen and red rimmed, had he been…crying?

"Prongsie, seriously man, what happened?" concern filled Sirius's voice, so much so that James felt slightly guilty that he had just hit him with a pillow. But then again he didn't feel bad because he was using dirty tactics to get it out of him.

"Fine, if I tell you will you leave me alone to wallow in self-pity?" he asked pleadingly.

Sirius grinned like a Cheshire cat and slapped him on the shoulder. "Course I will mate! Now on with the story!"

"I'm not doing this for your entertainment, Black." Sirius had the grace to look sheepish.

"Sorry."

"Good. Right anyway, it was going great, we had a brilliant chat and well, I felt the sparks man, there was chemistry. We were talking as if we had been best friends for years.

"I found out so much about her, she has such a passion for everything, she's amazing, just seeing her eyes light up when she talks and…" he trailed off into silent thought. Normally Sirius would have interrupted but this wasn't the time. Instead he waited patiently until James started talking again.

"Anyway, like I said we were having a good time but we hadn't spoken about what we had come to speak about and I was starting to get quite anxious. We started walking and we just ended up in that spot by the Shrieking Shack. She said she could be friends with me…and honestly I was happy, but it wasn't enough. She told me she had felt something for me when she kissed me but she didn't want to go there again. She didn't want to get hurt…"

"…do you know how she described her feelings for me?" he asked quietly, his voice on the verge of cracking.

Sirius shook his head.

'I felt…something. An old emotion coming back to haunt me. I loved you James, but…but that was reduced to wreckage the moment I walked into the tower that day. I'm sorry James…but it hurt…so much…I can't go through that again.' Lily's voice swirled through James's head before he answered his own question.

"She said it haunted her, it haunted her Sirius. An old emotion coming back to haunt her." James looked away again as he felt his eyes burn. Sirius felt his heart break for his friend.

'Shit, no one should be put through this much pain. I cant imagine what I would feel if Roxie had said that to me.'

Sirius sighed and put a hand on James's shoulder to comfort him. He didn't know what James was going through but thinking about it like that, he didn't want to either.

The two sat in companionable silence until James had finally fallen asleep.

A/N: WOW, I'M GETTING A BIT ANGSTY IN MY WRITING, AND I'M AFRAID TO SAY THERE IS GOING TO BE A BIT MORE COMING AS WELL, BUT NO WORRIES! IT'S ALL GOING TO HAVE A HAPPY ENDING! JUST WANT TO SAY THAT THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO RUPERT GRINT! YOU MAY BE CONFUSED AS TO WHY, BUT IT'S BECAUSE I MET HIM AT THE PREMIERE OF POA AND I EVEN GOT A HUGAND KISS! HE IS THE NICEST GUY!

READ AND REVIEW!

LUV YA!

SNAKE XX