A/N: HEY EVERYONE! ONCE AGAIN I AM SO SORRY FOR SUCH A DELAYED UPLOAD, BUT I HAD SERIOUS WRITERS BLOCK, GUESS I JUST NEEDED A BREAK! BUT I'm BACK NOWAND IT'S NEARLY THE END! ANYWAY, THIS IS A MUCH HAPPIER CHAPTER AND NO WARNINGS GO WITH HIS ONE EXCEPT FOR PERHAPS THE LANGUAGE AS USUAL! I CANT SEEM TO DO ANYTHING TO INDICATE CHANGE OF POINT OF VIEW, SORRY IF IT GETS CONFUSING!

ON WITH THE STORY!

Chapter 20

Sirius crashed into the hospital wing still half way through transforming back from his animagus form. He looked around breathing hard and shaking from nerves. A light was coming from Madam Pomfrey's office.

"Bingo!" he exclaimed under his breath.

Without waiting to be admitted into the office Sirius burst into the small room littered with medicines and paper to find Madam Pomfrey sitting there, absolutely fuming with this intrusion.

"SIRIUS BLACK! WELL I NEVER! NEVER HAS A STUDENT BEEN QUITE SO RUDE AS TO…" She started to yell but Sirius heard nothing, all he could hear was his own voice trying to tell Madam Pomfrey what was happening.

"Please! Listen! James…he's in a bad way, I…I think he's going to die, you have to help us! PLEASE!" the desperation in his voice had shocked him momentarily but was soon forgotten when he saw Madam Pomfrey's face. The normally strict, taut face had paled considerably and her mouth was hanging slack. She stood there gaping like a fish for what seemed like an eternity before she spoke.

"Wha- what did you say?" she asked weakly.

"It's James, he's really sick. I think he's going to die; Remus is bringing him up here now. Please we have to prepare for him. I'll explain everything later." Again his desperation and despair had leaked into his voice but had escalated as the seconds had gone by.

At that moment Remus came through the door pale as a sheet with James, who was even whiter, floating behind him. Sirius looked at the form of his best friend and felt his heart stop. There was vomit down the front of his shirt ad his eyes were rolled into the back of his head. Even now he was trying to fight; he had even brought himself out of a dead cold faint.

"Oh my, Master Lupin, get Potter on the bed right away, this is extremely serious. What has happened tonight? I need every detail. Black, you stay with me, Mister Lupin, go get Professor Dumbledore." The minute James had been brought into the wing she switched back into professional mode. She knew immediately that this case was more then likely substance related.

She just hoped this was the one time that she was wrong.

She started to run a series of tests on James, each one as important as the next. Every now and then she would cast a spell or inject him with something as he couldn't swallow. All the while Sirius watched in horror. Guilt racked his every fibre.

'How could I have let this happen? Why didn't I stop it? I should've run faster, or realised sooner where you were. Shit, James if anything happens to you I'll blame myself.' He was so lost in thought he jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Dumbledore.

"I think you need to go and get some rest Sirius. Your friends are waiting for you and the Heads' Chambers." He said softly, his piercing blue eyes peering through his half moon spectacles.

"Yes Headmaster." Was all Sirius could reply. It was as if someone had cast the imperious curse on him. He felt as if someone else was controlling his movement and speech. When he arrived at his destination he couldn't remember the journey. He muttered the password and let himself in.

His gaze was met with those of his four friends. Remus stood up and Jess clutched onto him as if she was holding Remus up or the other way round. Roxie ran forward to meet Sirius and immediately enveloped him in a tight embrace which Sirius readily returned. After a while she leant back in his arms and looked back up to his face. She lifted a hand and wiped away something wet from his eyes.

'Wet? Am I crying? I didn't even notice. I didn't think I knew how after all this time. Fuck.'

'Rox… fuck…James is…Oh god, please help him.' And with that final thought he let go of everything. He cried into Roxie's shoulder without a trace of shame. Remus pulled Jess away to give them some privacy. Despite how much he wanted to quiz Sirius about what had happened he knew that this was a personal moment between lovers that shouldn't be disturbed.

It was a long time before Sirius was able to face the rest of his friends.

An hour later Remus came down with Jess. Sirius and Roxie were sitting on the sofa huddled up but by the looks of things Sirius had calmed down a lot. He'd even chuckle every now and then when Roxie whispered something in his ear. Remus smiled to himself at the picture laid before him but decided he'd waited around enough. He needed to know everything.

He pulled Jess with him and sat on the sofa opposite Sirius and Roxie. The four friends watched each other in silence for what seemed like a lifetime before Remus spoke.

'What happened out there my friend?' He asked softly his ambers eyes stricken with worry. They all watched intently as Sirius opened his mouth to reply until Roxie interrupted him.

'No, wait… I'll be back in a minute…' She said over her shoulder as she walked away quickly.

'Where're you going Rox?' Jess called after her.

'Lily, lily needs to hear this as well.' The others nodded in agreement even though Roxie didn't see.

They all agreed that Lily should hear this but not just because they were friends, also because they were more. So far over the school year they had had a small inkling of what was going on in James and Lily's heads, but they had recently found out that what they had thought was initially a small crush actually ran a lot deeper then anyone had thought.

Lily turned her head out try and tune out the constant banging in her ears.

'Nooo… sleeping.' Was all she replied.

'Lily if you don't get your fat and lazy arse out of bed in five seconds I'm going to flippendo this fucking door down!'

'Hang on, that sounds like Rox and I think she's being serious…'

'FIVE!'

'No she's only fooling around…'

'FOUR!'

'Um…'

'THREE!'

'She wouldn't…'

'TWO!

'She couldn't'

'ONE!'

'SHE IS!!'

'RIGHT THAT'S IT!! FLIP-'

'NOOOOOOOOOO! STOP!'Lily came crashing through the door just in time to stop Roxie from firing her spell and breaking down her door. Lilly looked at the time and saw that it was two in the morning, needless to say she wasn't pleased.

'Roxie! It's two in the morning! I've had a really hard day and I need to get some sleep! I'm Head Girl for crying out loud! The amount of duties that need to be carried out tomorrow demand that I get a good rest! And did you know that breaking the schools property can earn you detention? Normally I'd let you slip but breaking my door into tiny pieces isn't exactly easy to fix with the best of spells! And anyway! Why are you waking me up at this time?' Panting from her outburst Lily waited for her friends answer and in that short space of time she saw her, really saw her. Her eyes were bloodshot and weary, her posture was slouched and she looked like she could collapse from exhaustion at any minute.

'Rox, shit I'm sorry…what's wrong?' she said speaking a lot softer then before.

'It's James.' She replied simply. Roxie stood and watched while the blood remaining in Lily's face drained completely.

'Oh my goodness…James…I'd forgotten about…where is he? Is he okay? I bet he hates me doesn't he.' She looked forlornly at her feet expecting the worst but what she heard she couldn't have prepared for.

'Come downstairs, Sirius will tell everyone together. But I'll tell you now so you won't get too much of a shock. James is in a bad way, he's in the hospital wing. He…he might not make it.' Roxie's voice cracked with emotion.

'He might not make it?' Lily repeated slowly as if to help her brain register this information. Roxie just nodded in reply.

Lily's eyes darted around in a panic before she turned and grabbed her robe to put on over her pyjamas.

'Oh my goodness, James I'm coming!' she shouted as she ran through the common room and out of the door.

Lily made it to the Hospital wing in record time, she had sprinted the whole way there frantically wiping at the tears that blinded her on her mission. She burst through the door to find a closed curtain around a bed with Madam Pomfrey and Dumbledore standing talking in hushed tones.

They both turned to Lily as she came through the door. Madam Pomfrey looked absolutely livid.

'Miss Evans!' she exclaimed in a harsh whisper. 'Do you have any idea what the time is? What on earth do you think you're doing here at this time? This is a hospital! Not a holiday attraction!' Lily winced at Madam Pomfrey's harsh words but refused to give up. She would see James if it was the last thing she did.

'I've come to see James and I'm not leaving until I do.' She said as evenly as she could through the tears. She even raised her chin a little in defiance. Something she had never done to a teacher or any other authority figure before.

Before Madam Pomfrey could answer Dumbledore turned to her to speak.

'Poppy, surely it wouldn't hurt too much if our Head Girl were to see Mister Potter? I can assure you as you know, that she is a very responsible girl and if she were to get her request she would leave in ten minutes out of respect for the Hospital Wing rules.' He spoke in gentle tones but nevertheless, they were persuasive.

'Fine. Ten minutes and that's it. I've got an emergency spell on Potter so if his condition changes for the worse then I'll be up her in a split second. But for the moment he appears stable, I'm going to get some rest.' She gave the Head Master one more nod then turned on her heel and walked out. Before she went through the door she turned once more to face Lily. 'Ten minutes and no more.'

'Yes Madam Pomfrey.' Lily replied obediently. She took a deep breath and turned to face her Head Master.

'Is he going to be okay, Sir?' she asked timidly. Dumbledore regarded her for a small while before replying.

'I should think so, my dear. And do you know why I know that?' he asked kindly. Lily shook her head.

'Because it doesn't matter how hard you try, you can't get rid of James Potter that easily.' Lily smiled slightly, feeling a little more at ease from Dumbledore's light hearted joke.

'I know exactly what you mean, Professor.' She replied before she could keep in check what she was saying. Lily felt herself blush slightly at her confession and looked up into Dumbledore's eyes. She could see them twinkling even in the dim light of the hospital wing.

Dumbledore walked over to the door to leave when he stopped and turned to her just as Madam Pomfrey had.

'You know, I'm sure that Madam Pomfrey won't mind if you stay a little longer then ten minutes.' He said kindly and with that he left Lily alone.

Remus, Sirius, Jess and Roxie were all in the common room waiting. They had just received an owl from Dumbledore telling them Sirius that he was coming down and he wanted to hear the full story of what had happened over the last few hours and maybe any significant information from before.

Sirius sighed and yawned and begun to think that Dumbledore wasn't going to show up when he walked straight through the door.

'Ahh, Mister Black, I see you're still up as are all your friends. Excellent. No doubt you have told them why I am here. And don't worry about Miss Evans she is with Mr Potter at this moment in time but she shall return shortly. Please, tell me everything that has been going on in my school.' And with that Dumbledore fell silent as Sirius told him all of the events from the moment James had found the damned piece of parchment.

Lily drew back the curtains to James bed and gasped at the sight that met her. James was lying with his head to the side and appeared whiter then the bed sheets themselves. His eyes were shut but thankfully he was breathing normally.

She approached the bed slowly and gingerly sat on the edge. She gently took his hand held it as if it was porcelain.

'Oh James, what have I done to you? What have I done to us? I know you probably can't hear me but I'm going to say this anyway. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything that's happened between us, especially this year. I'm sorry for teasing you at the beginning of the year and berating you for attentions spent on other girls, I'm sorry for starting that fight when I was angry on the first night and saying we couldn't be friends, and I'm so sorry for that time in Hogsmeade when I told you that out kiss meant nothing to me. Because it did, it meant more then you can imagine and that scared me James, it really scared me. From that moment something changed inside of me. That's why I wrote that list on the parchment that you found. Let me tell you now you were not meant to find that. I wanted to deter my feelings for you because I didn't want to get hurt again because I knew that if I let myself get hurt I wouldn't recover and I'd grow old and have cats, and you know what? I don't even particularly like cats!'

The tears cascading down her cheeks were like rivers and a sob caught in her throat making it difficult to speak. She swallowed it all down and carried on with her speech.

'But that's not what hurts me the most. What hurts me the most is that everything I've done to discourage myself I've ended up hurting you in some way. And that makes me feel like the worst person alive because it aches when you hurt the people you love…or the one person you love. I guess what I'm trying to say James…is… is that I hope you wake up soon so I can jump on you and kiss you and start our lives together, if you'll take me that is, because when I look at the future I see you. You and me, and even a little cottage with a child running around. A little James or a little Lily, or both if we have the chance, I don't mind but either way it's with you. No one else. And first thing every day and last thing at night I would tell you how much I love you, then show you how much I love you, because I do James. I love you. There I said it. I love you so much it hurts to be close to you but it hurts even more to be parted from you. I'm going to start now you know. I'm going to tell you now every morning and night how much I love you because I do and I won't ever love anyone else so I really hope you'll take me back. Merlin, I love you.'

She fell silent and silence is all that answered. Another choked sob echoed around the wing. A lone tear rolled down her cheek. She leant over and softly kissed James on the forehead then left his side praying that he would be awake in the morning, hoping and dreading at the same time that he had heard what she had said.

She shut the curtains around his bed and walked out of the wing. The door clicked shut and her foot steps got quieter as she walked away.

But one more sound echoed quietly before falling completely silent for the last time.

'I love you too.'

A/N: BLOODY HELL THAT TOOK A LONG TIME TO WRITE! BUT I FINALLY GOT THIS CHAPTER OUT AND I THINK IT HAD A LOT TO DO WITH MY FRIEND Carly ASKING ME ABOUT IT, SO THIS CAHPTER IS DEDICATED TO YOU MY FRIEND! I LOVE YOU!!! AND I LOVE THE REST OF YOU, THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE ON THIS CHAPTER! ONE MORE TO GO! TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!

LUV YA!

SNAKE XX