MY ANGEL, a fruits basket fanfic

MY ANGEL

a/n: okay...angsty/romance fan fiction about Kyo and Yuki's feelings for Tohru- no real action, it's just in their minds. I quoted manga # 4 a little – all italics are quotes (not just from manga # 4 though).

Umm... please review and tell me what you think, it's not very hard, just take a minute and HIT THAT BUTTON!

Oh, yeah this might help a little:

Kyo's POV: this font

Yuki's POV: this font

She is one bright, sunny, everlasting pinpoint of joy on the dark landscape of my life. One light, eternal dark. I am the dark- my insides twisted, my very curse deforms my heart. I am a sick, cruel person who has no right to this glorious radiance. My darkness fights the luminosity, trying to push away the emotions. But light conquers over the darkness- my mind may be in chaos, and my heart may be black, but there is still hope.

She is the hope. My only hope. My only reason to keep living- to get up in the morning. To continue on with my daily life. The fact that I might see her smile is my driving force. Without that smile, my heart is clouded over, but she is the ray of sunshine that brightens my day and clears away the clouds. Without her, I would be lost in the pitch black of corruption and evil that has become my mind. Now I have hope. I have Tohru.

She is magic...that smile freezes the hatred in my heart, and then melts my insides into a pile of jello...i can't think clearly, or even say what i want to...i keep holding back....

She makes me feel conscious of myself- more even than when i am surrounded by my peers...when I'm with my peers, my mind wanders and i fret about the stupidest things.....but when I'm with her, my worries are gone.

I try to tell her, but I just end up hurting her...I can never bring her happiness. I would only harm her...

"what should I call this feeling?..."

She smiles, and my world stops. The earth stops spinning, my heart stops beating. I marvel in her glory. Her true beauty, her pure innocence. The thought of someone tainting that innocence repulses me. The thought that i might be the person who takes away her enchanting smiles...it rips my soul to shreds.

She is an angel. I'd like to say she's my guardian angel.....in a sense, she leads me to the light, and she picks me up when I am down.... But i have no right to claim her as my own. I could imply such ties between us; i could not insinuate that we are more than just acquaintances who happen to live together. I may, however wish and dream. I can wish that i will someday have enough courage to proclaim my love to her. I can dream about the future. I can hold her in my mind, forever mine.

What would life without Tohru be? It would be like life on earth without a sun: my world could not go on. I need her....she brings so much happiness into our lives...someday, hopefully not anytime soon, Tohru will leave us...i can not let that happen! I can't help but feel greedy. I want her to stay with us forever...i want her- something i can never have...it pains me to observe her, yet without doing so, my life would be worthless. I'm killing myself from the inside out.

...she never once turned away....didn't flinch, didn't cry out in terror....she held me. She clung to my forearm, refusing to let go. She wouldn't let me leave her, though try as i might, i could never do such a thing. She's the only one who ever did that- i guess she saw into my heart, while others just saw my ugly form. She knew what i really was, deep down inside. She is the only person i could ever call a friend- she does not fear me, but instead she cheers me on. She did not turn away- not through out the entire cold, dark night. And when the unforgiving rays of sunlight hit me, i turned back to the Kyo she knew...and she smiled.

Watching her with him...it tears apart my heart- the tears stream silently down my face, as i look on in defiance against this show of emotion. How could she pick him over me? He is nothing compared to me, and never will be...i cry not in jealousy of Kyo, but in the silent fear that i can not be loved. My love will never be returned...why should i even try?...and then i see that smile. I am a popsicle on a humid summer's day: she is the sun, radiant and bright. With one gleam of her beauty she melts me into a warm puddle of popsicle juice. She melts me with her smiles....i live for those smiles...

By night, Tohru is mine.

By day, i watch her from afar, just to see her to watch over me, my sweet guardian angel...Never leave me alone in my own darkness.

Wait for the day when i can finally tell you the truth.....be patient, the day will come.

Someday, I will be strong enough- strong enough to beat this curse, strong enough to beat that damn rat...when i do, i will have the courage to get up off my knees.

...I will never let you go....

...I will promise you with all of my heart...

...You will be mine...

....I'll never leave you...

"Still sleeping in my undeveloped heart the flower in my heart."

I never thought I'd say this but....i guess this is what they call...love.

Love....it's such a sweet word....

A/n: okay, what did you think?? Come on. You can say! Umm...fluffy? Sorry, this is totally against my tomboyish nature, it just sorta came out...i might write more should the spirit move me...please give me ideas to work on!!! I know, I know, I kinda screwed it up a little....anyways...

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And...um...what was it? Oh! I remember: REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!