My Darling, My Vampire.
By Ann (aka Roswell4ever1)
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING! Ok, I am running out of afflictions to throw at you if you try to take Spike from me. So, let me just put it this way. Not only will you develop a rash, lose some fingers and toes, have your car disappear, your cat start barking, your hair fall out, crud on you fingernails and fungus between your toes, but your computer will die, your roof will cave in, and your dog will run away with the banker's cow! I urge you to leave Spike alone! The man belongs to me!
Song used is Careless Whispers by George Michael
Part Nine- Changes
Buffy jumped off the couch and went running over to where Spike lay. She began to shake him but truth be told, she was shaking more than he was. After about ten minutes of trying, she lay her head on his chest and began to sob. This couldn't be happening. She had waited for so long to find him. To be with him. To love him. And now, here he lay and she would never get the chance to see their wedding day or their children, grandchildren. What happened? What went so wrong that the outcome was this? Giles and Willow did their best to comfort her, but it was no use. She had just lost the love of her life. Nothing was going to take that away.
Xander and Anya came crashing in the front door yelling something about a dead demon in the front yard. But it just went in one ear and out the other. Buffy couldn't focus. She couldn't deal with some big ugly in the yard when...when whatever the hell just happened.
"Um, Xand, Anya, I don't think this is the best time." Willow stated as she pointed over to where Spike was laying.
"What happened?" Anya asked.
"I...I don't know." Willow stuttered. "An Ayola demon took over Buffy and the only way to get it out of her, to save her life, was to put it in someone else." Buffy jerked her head up at hearing this.
"You didn't! Tell me you didn't!" Buffy said through gritted teeth.
"Buffy..." Giles said.
"No! Don't even try to sugar coat this Giles. You stole him from me Willow. I finally get the chance to be happy and you just ripped it away. You should have just let me die!" Buffy cried.
"I don't know what you did Will, but I have one hell of a headache." A groggy English voice said.
Looking down, Buffy said "Spike?"
"Well, it isn't Billy Idol, pet." He replied as he tried to get up.
Buffy grabbed Spike into a hug that could crush mountains. She then pulled away and looked into his eyes. "Spike did you know that Willow was going to put the Ayola into you?"
"I knew." He said.
"And you let her do it? Why would you let her do that Spike? It could have killed you!"
"I told Willow to do the spell luv." He said this knowing that he was about to face the wrath of Buffy which he knew firsthand, wasn't pretty. Before he had a real chance to react, he had a fist in his nose.
"Bloody hell Buffy! I think you just broke it again." He said as he cupped his nose to catch the blood.
"Good!" She yelled. "I cant believe you Spike! Why the hell would you go and tell Willow to do that spell knowing damn well it could kill you? How could you do that?"
"How could I do that? What the hell did you expect me to do Buffy? Let it kill you? Is that what I should have done? Just let you die and never look back? I will be damned if I let that happen knowing there was a way I could stop it!" He was now shouting with her. Everyone else had stepped back knowing that this was something they had to work out themselves.
"Yes Spike! You cheated me out of the equation. You didn't tell me what you had planned, you just went and done it knowing I wouldn't have gone for it! You knew damn good and well I would tell you to let it kill me and that is exactly what you should have done! It is what I would expect of you!" Buffy yelled.
Hurt now by her words, Spike looked down at his shoes then back up at her. In a very calm voice, he said "Well, if that is something you would expect me to do, then you really don't know me Buffy. You don't know me at all. You still see me as some monster who doesn't give a damn about anybody but myself. Your right. I did leave you out of the equation when it came to making my decision. I did, and I'm sorry Buffy. Maybe I should have tried to talk to you about it first. But when I looked at you, I saw my world ending. I saw you laying on that couch dying and I saw that there was a way to make it go away. I guess I had tunnel vision. But damnit Buffy! I didn't try to cheat you out of anything. All I was trying to do was save you and I thought I was doing the right thing. Evidentily, when you look at me, you cant see how much you really mean to me and I am sorry for that. I will always love you Buffy, but to be honest, I think this is going nowhere but downhill."
"What the hell are you saying Spike? You want to break up?" Buffy responded, still yelling.
"No pet. I don't want to break up. I don't want to be away from you. But, it has just become clear to me that if we don't call it quits now, there will be regrets. You will regret being with me because I just cant conform to fit your life the way you need me to and I will regret that I cant be who you need me to be. Hell, I already have regrets." He was referring to the way he had shouted at her and how he had treated her in the past but knew by the look in her eyes that she thought he meant he regretted being with her.
Buffy looked at him for a brief second then began to walk away.
"Buffy wait! I didn't mean that I regretted being with you. I just meant that..."
"Save it Spike. I don't care anymore. You should have just let me die. If I was so repulsive to you, you should have just let it kill me." She walked away before he had a chance to respond.
Giles, Anya, Willow and Xander stood in the corner not knowing what to say as they watched Spike head to the door. As he opened the door and started out, Xander put his hand on Spike's shoulder and said "We're here for you man. You know where to find us if you need anything or just want to talk." Spike nodded.
"You want us to walk you home Spike?" Willow asked.
"No. I just need to be alone for a little while. Thank you though." He gave her and Anya a hug and walked out. The walk to his apartment was a lonely one. Why the hell had he said that to her? Why couldn't he control his damn tongue? "Bloody poofter!" Cursing himself was something Spike was used to. Why stop now?
A week went by and no one was talking about the breakup. Buffy was avoiding Spike at all costs. If she knew he would be at the shop, she would go home. If she knew he would be at her house talking to the others, she would go to the shop or the library.
"Willow, he said he had regrets. Regrets Will. How am I supposed to feel about that?"
"I don't think he meant he regretted being with you Buffy."
"You know what? I really don't care what he meant. It's over Willow. There is no going back."
Later that night, Spike decided to go to the Bronze. He figured everyone else would be out patrolling and it was karaoke night. One thing that made him feel better was singing. He even had a band at one time. But that was a long time ago and they drifted apart.
Walking into the Bronze, he walked over to the counter and turned in his music. Now all he had to do was wait until it was his turn.
Buffy and the rest of the gang walked in the doors of the Bronze and sat at their usual table. She saw him right away. He was sitting at the bar with his back facing her. He didn't even know she was there. "He has some nerve coming in here."
"Buffy, it is a public club. If he wants to be here, he can be here." Anya said. This didn't help to calm her down. Nope, as a matter of fact, all it did was make her madder.
"Alright ladies and gentleman, tonight is Open Mic night. We don't have many performers for tonight but all is good! Lets give it up for our first performer of the night, Spike!"
"Oh great, he's singing." Buffy said snottily.
Standing up and walking up to the stage, Spike turned around just in time to see Buffy sitting at the table looking at him with. If looks could kill, he would have already been dead by now. Rigamortis would have already set in. Hell, decomposition would have already set in!
"Great. Just perfect." He thought. "Oh well, I came here to sing, and I'm going to sing."
The music started up and he just let it take control of him.
"I feel so unsure.
As I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor.
As the music dies...
Something in your eyes,
Calls to mind a silver screen,
And all those sad goodbyes.
I'm never gonna dance again,
Guilty feet have got no rhythm,
Though it's easy to pretend,
I know you're not a fool.
I should have known better than to cheat a friend,
And waste the chance that I'd been given.
So I'm never gonna dance again,
The way I danced with you."
Buffy sat at the table trying not to cry. She could not let him see how much she missed him. Refused to give him that satisfaction.
Spike continued to sing, hard as it was. It would have been so much easier if she wasn't there but she was. He wanted to be mad at her. Wanted to hate her. But he couldn't.
"Time can never mend,
The careless whispers of a good friend.
To the heart and mind,
If your answer's kind...
There's no comfort in the truth,
Pain is all you'll find.
I'm never gonna dance again,
Guilty feet have got no rhythm.
Though it's easy to pretend,
I know you're not a fool.
I should have known better than to cheat a friend,
And waste the chance that I'd been given.
So I'm never gonna dance again,
The way I danced with you.
What am I without your love?
Tonight the music seems so loud,
I wish we could lose the crowd.
Maybe it's better this way,
We'd hurt each other with the things we want to say.
We could have been so good together,
We could have made this last forever...
But now, who's gonna dance with me?
Please stay
I'm never gonna dance again,
Guilty feet have got no rhythm.
Though it's easy to pretend,
I know you're not a fool
I should have known better than to cheat a friend,
And waste the chance that I'd been given.
So I'm never gonna dance again,
The way I danced with you.
Now that you're gone...
Now that you're gone...
Now that you're gone...
Was what I did so wrong?
So wrong that you had to leave me alone?"
He just stood there for a long minute looking at Buffy. She looked at him for a minute then looked at the group. "I...I have to go to the bathroom." She quickly got up and walked away. Spike watched her walk away then turned and left the stage. He went over and paid for his drink and then walked out the door.
"This is just wrong. They are supposed to be together." Willow said.
"I know. I know." Giles agreed. Xander and Anya just sat there in silence with their own thoughts going through their minds.
TBC...