The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any GI Joe characters has been blown to smithereens. Yes I'm still profiling those Joes that don't get enough of the spotlight. These wacky guys deserve a hand too, not the boot they usually get.
Know Your Joe: Rock and Roll
"Hello everybody!" Quick Kick waved. "Short Fuse is still in the hospital after our last broadcast so I'm on my own today. But I'm still gonna be bringing profiles of all those Joes you know and love, but know so little about. So stop sending those rocks in the mail."
"How about dead skunks?" Low Light quipped as he watched the television.
"Why are we watching this?" Lady Jaye asked. "Seriously why?"
"Yeah, what did we do that Hawk is punishing us for?" Alpine joked.
"I think Hawk's still ticked off at us for that stunt on the minefield," Falcon said.
"Yeah, but it made the golf game more exciting," Bazooka said.
"Especially for that senator who was visiting," Shipwreck agreed.
"Here today is our very own Rock and Roll," Quick Kick indicated the blond bearded Joe in the chair next to him. "Who has most generously asked to be on our show today! Welcome Rock and Roll!"
"Thanks man! It's a real honor to be here!" Rock and Roll grinned.
"He actually volunteered for this?" Low Light blinked. "And people say I need psychological counseling?"
"Okay R&R," Quick Kick grinned. "Tell us a little more about yourself!"
"Well I'm a surfer from Malibu," Rock and Roll grinned. "That's pretty much it. I'm into weightlifting and I've played in several rock bands when I was a kid."
"Really? What bands were they?"
"Okay the first one I was in was called the Concrete Tuxedoes," Rock and Roll said. "Then I was in the Surf Dudes Looking For Surf Girls, which kind of broke up after a week for obvious reasons. Let's just say some of us took that name very seriously."
"Yeah cut to the chase here," Quick Kick said. "How many bands were you actually in?"
"Oh about 43," Rock and Roll said.
"43?"
"Yeah but some of them only lasted a week or two. And there were a few of them I was in at the same time. Really cut into my schedule. I'd have to play at a club one night and two days later play at another club. Whoa that was a lot of work."
"Did any of them put out any hits?"
"Yeah. We once made the top 60 in our town. I was in this band called the Mighty Waves Crashing and we had this cool song which I wrote. It was called, 'She Stole My Surfboard and My Heart Took a Wipe Out!' "
"Really? I never heard of it."
"Well you see there was this other band my band got into a drinking contest with. Called the Surfaris. Long story short we lost the rights to the song. Then to add insult to injury, they took out all my lyrics and shortened the title to just 'Wipe Out'. They got all the cash and we got majorly hosed dude."
"Put up your feet folks," Shipwreck said. "Getting pretty deep in here."
"So are you still interested in music?" Quick Kick asked.
"Funny you should ask that," Rock and Roll took out some CDs. "I've just put together my new album. I call it, Simply Rock and Roll! And for only 14.95 you can get some of my greatest hits!"
"A commercial?" Alpine shouted. "This is what we've been reduced to watching? A commercial?"
"You didn't complain when the Apprentice was on," Bazooka pointed out.
"Couldn't Hawk just take the TV away completely?" Low Light groaned.
"Yeah, reading a book is better than this," Shipwreck nodded. "Did I really just say that?"
"Frightening isn't it?" Alpine quipped. "Okay anybody have any spare cash?"
"What, you're really gonna buy that album?" Lady Jaye asked.
"No," Alpine said. "I'm see how much I can bribe General Hawk to put Quick Kick in solitary confinement!"
"I'm in for twenty!" Low Light dug out his wallet.
"Put me down for fifteen," Shipwreck shouted. "And if that doesn't work I know where we can get a good deal on a crowbar to whack him on the head with!"