Prologue
Satine DeMoulin couldn't believe that she was actually standing in line to audition for Idol. It had always been her dream to be a singer and now she was getting the chance to make it happen. She wished her father could be here to see her, but he had died of a massive heart attack shortly after moving the family from Australia. Satine reflected on how she had come to be there.
Chapter 1
The previous Tuesday she had come home from her job as a waitress at an upscale restaurant (although she was only 18 she had given up school last year to support herself and her mother when her mother became to ill to work) and as usual found her mother passed out on the couch, an empty bottle of whiskey by her side. The sandwich Satine had made for her before work was untouched and stale on the countertop. He mother had not eaten again today. Satine sighed, her mother was in the worst shape she'd ever been, the doctors said it wouldn't be long before she went into complete liver failure and died. She was wasting away to nothing, and all Satine could do was watch and think of the mother she used to know; but that woman had died along with her father.
As Satine bent down to pick up the empty bottle she noticed the newspaper lying beneath the coffee table, she was going to leave it there (slowly but surely she was loosing the battle with the housecleaning) when she noticed the headline 'Spectacular Spectacular tryouts to come to city!"
She was just about to ring her uncle, Harold Zidler, and tell him the news as he was acting as her agent and trying to help her break into the business when the doorbell rang. It was Harold himself, and he wasn't alone.
"Hello Cherub" (Her uncle rarely called her by her real name)
"Why hello Harold, I was just about to call you, there's an ad in the paper for Spectacular Spectacular auditions..." she was cut off
"Oh my little strawberry you won't need to go to that, Mr. Austin is sure to give you a record deal once you 'perform' for him, isn't that right Mr. Austin?" Harold said turning to the gray haired man beside him
"Oh I'm sure we can work out some kind of arrangement, I've decided to give you a 'private' audition", said the man winking at Satine. Satine sighed inwardly, she had been to far too many of Harold's 'private auditions' to hold out any hope of being granted a record deal. She didn't sleep with all the men that Harold introduced her to, only the ones who she felt would reward her for her 'troubles', and usually only near the end of the month, when her mother had drank all Satine's wages from the restaurant and the rent was due. As time passed Satine began to feel almost proud of the extravagant gifts she could get men to leave her after just one night. She only had two rules, she never 'auditioned' for the same man twice; and she never allowed herself to fall in love. In fact she rarely allowed herself to show any emotion above what was required in different situations, she was afraid that one day she would just start crying and never stop: and she would never get a record deal that way! So she taught herself to keep a tight reign on her feelings at all times, with an icy demeanor that could be melted only for a short time, for the right price.
That night Satine made the excuse of needing to tend to her mother and did not go with the man, she would be glad she did as sometime in the night her mother passed away. She was buried two days later in a small ceremony attended only by Satine and Harold. Satine was not upset, the mother she had known and loved was not the woman she placed in the ground; she had said goodbye to that woman long ago, her mourning was over. Her death solidified Satine's desire to audition for Spectacular Spectacular as it would end the seemingly downward spiral of her life. She would audition whether Harold supported her or not. In the end however, Harold gave her his blessing and even lent her the money to buy a new outfit for the audition.
Chapter 2
Christian James was a medical student and he hated it. His father was an acknowledged expert in the field of neurosurgery and her was determined that his son come and practice with him. He thought of his son as a daydreamer, but he hoped his first year at Oxbridge had helped to stamp that out of him.
Meanwhile at Oxbridge, Christian hated every minute of his pre-med classes, but loved every minute of Drama Club. He wished his father could see reason, but ever since his mother had died his father had poured all his hopes into Christian, ignoring the fact that his daughter, Isobel, was fascinated by the human body and would make an excellent doctor. Although she was only 16 she often went to his office after school to help the secretaries sort out patient's files in the hopes of receiving some encouragement from her father, but it was no use. He had a dream of working with his son, and nothing would stop this dream from becoming reality, and perhaps nothing would have if Christian hadn't seen the flyer advertising auditions for Spectacular Spectacular!
Chapter 3
Satine waited in a huge queue that snaked itself around many city blocks. She was waiting with Nini Legge, another aspiring young singer that Harold was 'helping'. She would have preferred to wait alone, as she and Nini were not close, she suspected that Nini was jealous of her vocal talent, but she had no reason to be as Nini was a superior dancer. Nini and Satine were physically different. Nini was dark and solid with brown eyes and hair. She had an aura of someone who knew how to look after herself. Satine had fiery red hair and lily-white skin with blue-green eyes and an aura of fragility that made men want to do anything to protect her. Unlike Nini, she was ashamed of Harold's methods and the part she played in them. She swore she would win Spectacular Spectacular on the strength of her talent alone. Nini on the other hand, liked Harold's system of business and proudly used her body to get what she wanted. Her boldness had earned her the nickname 'Nini Legge's in the air', and she was proud of it. However, it still bothered her that Satine, and everyone else, seemed to think that Satine had more class than the other girls, including herself. They knew that Satine had had as many 'private auditions' as any of them, she didn't get any breaks for being Harold's favorite, but nevertheless she made it seem as if she was auditioning the men, instead of the other way around. She also had an uncanny sense of which 'auditions' were worth her while and which weren't, making the 'business' quite lucrative for her.
Nini had seen a scout walking through the lines to pick the people who would audition for the real judges on camera. The scout looked up and down their section of the line, she needed to do something to stand out so she started dancing. She tried to get Satine to join her, but Satine would only watch as Nini swirled her hips seductively to music only she could hear.
The scout was actually Simeon Duke, one of the judges, he was bored of the people who had auditioned so far and wanted to pick a few, preferably attractive, girls to spice up his day a little. He scanned the line and was about to move on when he saw a flash of brilliant red hair and decided to investigate. He saw that the hair belonged to the most gorgeous girl he had ever seen. She was tall and slim, with an almost regal bearing that set her apart from the crowd. She was wearing a white corset-styled tank top with a sparkly diamond appliqué between her breasts. She had a black can-can inspired skirt that was shorter in front than the back, revealing long ivory legs ending in black heels with ballet-like ribbons. Her hair was parted on the side and left long and flowing, in a cascade of ringlets down her back. She was amongst a crowd of people watching a smaller, darker girl dance. This girl was much different, dressed entirely in chocolate brown leather with tall lace-up boots a short, tight miniskirt and a bustier top. She had a raw sexuality when she danced that intrigued him. He gave them both a card allowing them to audition on camera.
Nini ended up auditioning long before Satine and wowed the judges (and gave the censors a workout) with her rendition of Christina Aguleria's "Dirty". All the judges agreed that her spunk would come over well on camera and the producers felt that she had the perfect outgoing personality for television. As well she seemed like a bit of a shit-disturber, and those people make for great reality television. She was given a 'golden ticket' to continue on to the next round of competition on the other side of the country.
Satine was last to perform that day. A breathy beautiful woman's voice filled the air "The French are glad to die for love; They delight in fighting duels. But I prefer a man who lives, and gives expensive jewels". The judges were amazed, where was this amazing voice coming from? Suddenly Satine burst out from behind the screen, dancing around and playing with the judges she sang the rest of her song, "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend".
A kiss on the hand may be quite continental
But diamonds are a girl's best friend
A kiss may be grand, but it won't pay the rental
On your humble flat, or help you feed your
pussy cat.
Men grow cold as girls grow old
And we all lose our charms in the end
But square-cut or pear-shaped
These rocks don't lose their shape
Diamonds are a girl's best friend
The judges could not know how true the words of the song had been for her, but she vowed that she would lead a new life from now on.
The judges were ecstatic. "That was the single best performance we have heard in this city", Jack Randolph said. "That was great, you definitely get a ticket" Paula said. "You're amazing", Simeon Duke said, "I think I'm in love". If Satine had been in a more perceptive mood she would have realized that there was something creepy about Duke, but as it was she was too excited to notice. She was on her way to realizing her dream.
Chapter 4
Christian couldn't believe he had finally done it; he had gone against his father's wishes and given up school to move to the entertainment capital of the country and audition for Spectacular Spectacular. He thought it would be best to be in the capital so that even if he didn't make the cut, he could still pursue his dream of becoming a singer/songwriter. Songs just seemed to come to him all the time; he couldn't have stopped them if he tried. His mother had seen it as a gift, his father as a curse. Christian didn't know what to make of it; he just knew that he had to write.
He got to the audition site early, but even so there was already a long line when he arrived. He stood in the queue behind an Argentinean man named Pedro Eltango. Pedro was dark and exotic looking and confessed to being more interested in dancing than in being a singer. He just wanted to make a name for himself. He qualified for the next round easily and wished Christian luck.
As Christian stood in front of the judges ready to audition Paula was excited, they had seen many pretty girls in tight outfits, and many hip hop boys in baggy clothes that were cute, but this guy was so hot! His gray eyes twinkled out from underneath his longish brown hair and he had a dimple when he smiled, as well as the trace of a Scottish accent. She couldn't wait to hear him sing.
Christian couldn't sing any of his own compositions as his audition material had to be an existing piece so he chose to sing "I still haven't found what I'm looking for" by U2. He felt the song conveyed the transition period he was in. He knew there was something or someone out there waiting for him; he just didn't know what it was yet.
I have climbed the highest mountains
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you.
I have run, I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with you.
But I still haven't found
What I'm looking for.
But I still haven't found
What I'm looking for.
I have kissed honey lips
Felt the healing in her fingertips
It burned like fire
This burning desire
I have spoke with the tongue of angels
I have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night
I was cold as a stone.
But I still haven't found
What I'm looking for.
But I still haven't found
What I'm looking for.
When he had finished the judges all applauded "I liked how you seemed to be really feeling what you were saying, you're in", said Jack Randolph. Simeon Duke was worried, he had tried to not vote for any men that he thought Satine would like, he didn't like the thought of them cooped up in the luxury house the contestants would live in for the duration of the competition, but he couldn't find a thing wrong with the boy's performance, he would have to vote for him. "I didn't really like your performance, you definitely need the back up instrumentals to make that song great, but I guess you're in". Paula looked at Simeon with disbelief, "How can you say you didn't like that?! That was amazing. I am definitely a yes. Yes Yes Yes!" "Thank you very much", Christian said, and smiled. He hoped his success could finally make his father proud of his decision not to practice medicine.
Chapter 5
The contestants had been cut down in number until there were only 10 left. Among them were Pedro, Nini, Christian and Satine. Throughout the selection process Duke had done his best to keep Christian and Satine apart, placing them in different workshop and audition groups. He had attempted to talk to Satine on many occasions but she had never said more than a few words to him in return, and there were hardly any opportunities for them to be legitimately alone together.
Satine eyed Duke nervously from across the soundstage, he seemed to watch her more than any of the other contestants. She could feel his eyes on her, even when she wasn't performing. She tried not to encourage it and swore she would not play into it. It would be so easy to succeed by reverting to her old ways, but she had vowed not to resort to that. If she succeeded it would be because the judges thought she deserved it, and for no other reason. She looked across the room and saw Christian. She didn't know him very well; they had never seemed to have a chance to talk throughout the audition process. Undoubtedly they would have time to get to know each other quite well as they would be living in the same house. Satine wasn't sure how she felt about that. She was very attracted to Christian and it scared her, she mustn't fall in love, it would ruin everything. She steeled herself; she wouldn't fall in love.
Christian looked across the room and caught Satine's eye, but she quickly looked away. He couldn't understand why he was so attracted to her, he had met plenty of attractive girls on Spectacular Spectacular, but for some reason he only had eyes for Satine. Even though they had never spoken more than a few words he had a feeling that she was the one he had been looking for. He had to think of some way to get her to notice him.
Chapter 6
Before they could go back and see their new house they had to complete their first big individual challenge. Their challenge was to write and perform an original song. Everyone except Christian looked nervous, Christian looked ecstatic. This was just the chance he had been waiting for to impress the judges, and hopefully it would be an opportunity to get Satine to notice him.
After they had been given some time to rehearse their songs they drew numbers to decide the order they would perform. Pedro went first and sang a Spanish love song, followed by Nini who sang about why she loved to dance. Christian had drawn the last number, and Satine was to perform just before him. They waited backstage together while the other 6 finalists performed.
Christian and Satine stood side-by-side watching the others and attempted to make small talk, they weren't very good at it. Both were distracted by the intensity of their feelings for the other person. Christian wished he could think of something to say, but for once his mind was blank. "Good Luck" was all Christian managed to say before Satine was to go on stage, squeezing her hand slightly as he said it. Although the touch lasted only seconds Satine felt her resolve fading away. There was obviously something between the two of them; she didn't feel like she could ignore it much longer. She managed to hold onto her emotions by reminding herself of the real reason why she was there. She could not afford to be carried away with love. Look at what love had done to her mother! It had carried her across the ocean to a strange land and promptly left her to pick up the pieces of her broken life, something she had never managed to do. Satine was determined that she would not end up like her mother. She stood onstage. She had decided to write about her past and how it collided with these new feelings she had for Christian.
I follow the night
Can't stand the light
When will I begin to live again
One day I'll fly away
Leave all this to yesterday
What more could your love do for me
When will love be through with me
Why live life from dream to dream
And dread the day when dreaming ends
One day I'll fly away
Leave all this to yesterday
Why live life from dream to dream
And dread the day when dreaming ends
One day I'll fly away
Fly fly away...
Christian was amazed, and deeply moved. He had known that Satine had an amazing voice, but singing her own words from the heart made it even more powerful. She had obviously had a hard life; the sadness in her voice was unmistakable. He would have to tread carefully if he wanted to get to know her better. He didn't have much time to think however, because as soon as Satine finished it was his turn. He hoped Satine was listening.
My gift is my song
And this one's for you
And you can tell everybody
That this is your song
It maybe quite simple
But now that it's done
Hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is now you're in the world
Sat on the roof
And I kicked off the moss
Well some of the verses well
They got me quite cross
But the sun's been kind
While I wrote this song
It's for people like you that
Keep it turned on
So excuse me for forgetting
But these things I do
You see I've forgotten
If they're green or they're blue
Anyway the thing is well I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen
And you can tell everybody
This is your song
It may be quite simple
But now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is now you're in the world
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is now you're in the world
He had written this song for her. How wonderful life was now Satine was in the world. He caught her eye and she smiled and blushed slightly as he sang, "you see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue"
Satine couldn't believe it, she was beginning to fall in love with Christian, despite all her best efforts not to! But when he sang it was as if there was just the two of them in the crowded auditorium. She felt as though they were flying across the sky on a cloud. However glancing over at Simeon Duke brought her swiftly back to earth. He was looking at Christian with intense hatred and she knew he had seen her blush. He must have seen her looking at him because Duke looked over at her then, and gave her a twitchy nervous smile. Satine couldn't believe it; he was acting as if he was jealous! She had made every effort to subtly deter him but it obviously hadn't worked. If she was to be with Christian it could ruin everything. The resolve that had started to melt was strengthened again twofold.
Chapter 7
That night the contestants were to move into their new luxury house. Satine walked in behind Nini and both girls forgot their differences and squealed with delight. The house was huge and magnificently decorated it was far nicer than anything either of them had ever seen in their lives. Christian on the other hand found the size of the house oppressive. His childhood home had not been much different from this and did not hold many happy memories. He began to worry again about his father's reaction to his decision to leave medical school. "You'll end up wasting away your life with some cheap actress" he had said angrily. Just then he caught a whiff of Satine's perfume as she walked ahead of him to explore the house and he knew he had made the right decision.
Chapter 8
That night after everyone had gone to bed Satine went into the garden and sat on the edge of the pool, dangling her feet in. Her grandparents had had a pool in Australia, she remembered, but she hadn't seen them for 8 years, for all she knew they were dead. Thinking of her family and her old life made Satine wish that things could have been different, that she was free to love Christian. Then she remembered her mother's suffering, and how she had given up a happy life for one glorious day followed by increasingly darker ones. Satine would not make the same mistake.
Christian couldn't sleep, he kept thinking of Satine, and how she had blushed when he sang to her. Perhaps there was hope for them after all. He saw a movement in the garden and decided to investigate, hoping against hope that it would be her. He walked downstairs and saw her through the open French door. The breeze lifting tendrils of hair from her neck and tugged at the edges of her pale pink kimono. She hadn't seen him. "How wonderful life is now you're in the world", they sang softly together without realizing it. The sound of his voice startled her and she stood up and faced him.
"I was hoping I would find you here" Christian said, "I wrote that song for you"
Satine looked around nervously "what song", she asked playing for time shit she thought inwardly, she had wanted to keep her feelings a secret from him, 'that's what you get for letting your guard down', she told herself. "Oh, yes, that song, sometimes I sing when I'm thinking, it doesn't mean anything, just a habit"
"Oh I see" said Christian and his face fell, "so, when you sang it right now, it didn't mean anything?"
"That's right", Satine forced herself to say
"So...you don't love me?" Christian asked softly
"No, of course not!" Satine replied...adding "I can't fall in love with anyone" in an attempt to soften the blow.
"Can't fall in love?! But that's terrible.
"No, being on the streets, THAT'S terrible!"
"Love is a many splendored thing! Love lifts up where we belong! All you need is love!"
Satine was taken off-guard "Please don't start that again".
"All you need is love", he replied with an earnest grin.
"A girl has got to eat", she said thinking of the many nights she herself had gone hungry.
"All you need is love", he said again, as if he hadn't heard her.
"She'll end up on the streets!" she countered, voicing her worst fear.
"All you need is love."
"Love is just a game", she said sadly but firmly, she would not be caught up in this madness.
"I was made for loving you baby, you were made for loving me!" Christian said simply with conviction.
"The only way of loving me baby is to pay a lovely fee", she replied, saying more about her past than she intended.
"Just one night, just one night", he asked hopefully.
"There's no way 'cause you can't pay."
"One night in the name of love."
Satine laughed in spite of herself, the man was crazy! "You crazy fool, I won't give in to you."
She turned to go.
"Don't!" Christian said, she looked at him for explanation and he continued "leave me this way, I can't survive, without your sweet love, Oh baby, don't leave me this way!"
"You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs...", Satine said in a sad voice.
"I look around me and I see it isn't so, oh no."
"Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs..."
"Well what's wrong with that, I'd like to know, 'coz here I go again...Love lifts us up where we belong, where eagles fly, over mountains high."
"Love makes us act like we are fools, throw our lives away for one happy day!" Satine said thinking of her mother.
"We could be heroes, just for one day."
"You, you will be mean" She said thinking of the change in her father's manner after they moved "and I, I'll drink all the time" it had happened to her mother, it could happen to her.
"We could be lovers."
"We can't do that", she said sadly.
"We should be lovers, and that's a fact"
"Though nothing will keep us together?" Satine said referring to all the objections she had raised.
"We could steal time..."
"Just for one day", they sang together, Satine finally giving in to her feelings.
"We could be heroes, forever and ever, we could be heroes forever and ever, we could be heroes just because I will always love you" Christian said the last line just as Satine said "I can't help loving you". "How wonderful life is now you're in the world!" She had tried her hardest to fight her desires, but finally had to concede defeat. They would be lovers. He kissed her gently on the lips, "you're gonna be bad for business, I can tell" she joked. But underneath her joking was a grain of truth, they would have to keep their love a secret from the judges, especially Simeon Duke.