Remote Sanity
Part three: Losing the control
The two girls slid across the floor, smashing the remote and all its buttons in the process. Aiko tumbled off, hitting the wall and somersaulting to a halt about 2 minutes later. She grinned at her disgruntled friend, who was obviously mad about missing a second of the yaoi goodness. They exchanged glances, realizing that a button on the remote was flashing red.
"Um...this...can't be good...." DB said wearily as she leaned over the remote to see exactly what buttons had been pushed. "Um.... Yeah this REALLY isn't going to be good..." Db motions for Aiko to come see.
Aiko scratched her head in curiosity, walking over to Db. "What? What is it?" She was still disoriented from all the tumbling.
Inuyasha's head-voice looked annoyed. Oh, you get the point. 'Yeah,' he said incredulously, 'THAT'S it.'
Kouga's head voice was just about to retort, because that was the Kouga-esque thing to do in this situation, when something happened. Suddenly! (because that's how these things work, mind you) He wasn't in the world of dark anymore! And... he had... a body!
(DB: And man was it a fine one )
Inuyasha's conscience immediately felt himself being pulled from behind...but where? Suddenly, a blinding light enveloped him. He was disoriented for a moment, until the light leveled out, and he blinked. "Wait a minute..." He jumped back. He felt his lips move when he said that. HE HAD LIPS! (Beautiful, glorious lips! drool) He looked up and saw a body to fit the voice with which he had just been arguing. He raised an eyebrow. "Nice package," he said with a scoff, gesturing to the naked man in front of him, hardly noticing his own nudity.
Kouga's conscience snorted and folded his arms over his muscled torso. "You're one to talk." He childishly stuck his tongue out, because now he had one and could do that!
Not four feet away, DB's eyes went really, really, REALLY big and her face turned a color red not even found on our spectrum. She tried to speak but all that came out was mindless, whispered babble and more drool than a human could possibly produce under any normal circumstances.
You could see where Inuyasha got his arrogance. "Hmph. Mine's nothing to hide, so there!" He folded his arms across his chest, snubbing his nose at the other man. He paused for a second, then turned to the two furiously blushing girls. "Er...nonetheless...do you think you could get us some pants?" He rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed.
Aiko nodded dumbly, her eyes unblinking. She headed off to get some pants, managing to somehow side step into Db. "Y-yeah...pants," she murmured. She scrambled up to find some trousers.
DB tried to get to her feet to follow but was finding it increasingly hard with two glorious bishies wearing their b-day suits. 'Get it together!' Her own conscience yelled at her. "Okay... okay!" She murmured and scrambled up, with the remote of course, and went with Aiko. Once she was alone with the other girl, the full effect of what was happening sank in. "AIKO! Do you realize what's happened and what we're capable of?!" She grinned mischievously. "WE CAN BRING BISHIES TO THIS WORLD! NEKKID BISHIES!" Then she proceeded to make a face that looked like this OO before doing her happy dance.
Kouga's conscience was looking around the room when he heard the word "nekkid!" shouted really loudly. He turned to the other bishie in the room and frowned worriedly. "Um... I don't really think it's safe here.... Wherever here is..." Then his eyes caught sight of the hard-to-miss big-screen TV and he twitched.
Aiko grinned and squealed joyously. "I know!!!" She giggled to herself, grabbing two pairs of conveniently placed pants (imagine that!!). She pouted. "Unfortunately, we have to fix the whole 'nekkid' thing. Stupid technicalities..."
Meanwhile, Inuyasha's voice of reason looked around in awe, his usual haughty disposition being replaced by one of childish enthusiasm. He stepped up to the monitor, putting his hands against the screen, surprised, as he expected to fall right through. He was about to continue examining the room, when his eyes fell on the subject of the video: His body against that stupid wolf's. His eyes narrowed with determination, as he clenched his fists and turned to the other head-voice. "Does it really matter WHERE we are? All that matters is that we need to keep THOSE," he pointed to the two bishies in the screen, who, by this point were making out, "empty shells off of each other!" He folded his arms across his chest. "Don't you agree, uh..." He suddenly realized that neither of them had an actual NAME to call his own. After all, it would be confusing to just use the names Kouga and Inuyasha, right?
At that particular moment, DB ushered Aiko into the room. Upon seeing the nekkid bishies once again, the fan girls froze. Db was the first one to shake off the stunned sensation, because, well.... She had to! She WAS the eviler of the two and villains can't be caught unawares. "Ahem..." She grinned, shoving Aiko forward with the pants. "Here. Pants..." Unfortunately, though she was able to move, the stunning-ness of the handsome bishies was making it hard for her to speak in full sentences.
The embodiment of Kouga's conscience jerked his attention away from the TV to look at the two girls. He grabbed a pair of pants and put them on gratefully. "Um thanks..." He said to the blonde because she was currently the only one with the power of speech.
Aiko cleared her throat meekly, blushing and stammering. "H...here...y..y-you go." She handed a pair of jeans to Inuyasha's incarnated head-voice.
He bowed and accepted them, then proceeded to ogle at the fly. "What in the world...?" Finally, after much, tiring deliberation, he slipped them on with surprising ease and was now clothed. Needless to say, this made the girls less than happy, but definitely half as blushy. He cleared his throat in a dignified manner. "Excuse me, but do you think you could, perhaps, tell us how to get back home...and maybe explain to us why our bodies...er...former bodies, are suddenly lusting after one another?"
Aiko's eyes grew large. "Wow. You're much more polite than Inu," she mused, poking his arm.
He looked mildly annoyed. "I AM 'Inu', as you call him. I have no control over the maturity part of the brain, let me tell you..." He muttered under his breath. "Wench."
Db chuckled in that evil, plotting way of hers. She looked at the other bishie. "And you must be Kouga's then? You don't really look like him..." She tilted her head and looked him over again, suppressing the loud squeak demanding to leave her throat. This bishie had shoulder length blue hair and shockingly ice blue eyes.
"Well...that's not my fault!" He frowned cutely and folded his arms. And then he covered his ears as the high-pitched squeak escaped from the blonde girl. "Damn wohman!"
She grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of her head. "Sorry...you...er... it's an impulse..." Then she frowned. "Do you guys have names?"
Aiko continued to poke the bishounen in the arm, until he lightly brushed her hand away. He sighed at her obnoxiousness, and brushed his short brown hair out of his familiar golden eyes. It fell back in soft, springy spikes that leaned forward persistently. He looked up pensively. "No, as a matter of fact, we don't have names," he said in an exasperated tone, as if he were being doggedly (xD) interrogated. "At least I don't. Figments don't NEED names."
Db chuckled again. "You aren't figments anymore now..."Db smiled not unlike the way Miroku did before he groped someone and inched towards the blue-haired bishie. "So! You need names! I'mma call you Kisho! Cause I can!" She giggled an eerie high-pitched giggle, which many bishies had heard after losing their clothing. "This is just like naming pets!"
Kisho took a step back and hid behind Inu's conscience. "I've heard that laugh before.... She scares me...." He whispered to the other bishounen.
Inuyasha's voice of reason scoffed at the pitiful-looking Kisho. "Keh. She's merely a little girl, Kisho," he said arrogantly. "After all, who'd..."
He was cut off by a quiet humming sound. it grew louder and louder. The bishie looked down to find that it was coming from Aiko. All of a sudden, a loud, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" emitted from her throat, as she clamped her arms around the man's bare middle. She looked up at him with happily shimmering eyes. "Fun fun fun!!! I'll name you....Yukio!" She rubbed her head on him like a cat, refusing to let go. Horrified, Inuyasha's conscience, with the air of a woman escaping a mouse by standing on a kitchen chair, nodded vigorously. "A-a-all right, all right! Yukio's fine. Just get offa me!!!"
"All right," he whispered back, as the girl skipped over to Db. "So maybe you DID have a point."
Kisho nodded. "Um... we should really be getting back to..."He shuddered in disgust as he pointed over at the big screen. "Our bodies.... Damn! I didn't know I could bend that way.... Ugh... oh ew..." He ducked his head behind Yukio's back.
DB leaned over to Aiko and whispered, "I think we should see if the remote still works on them..." as her fingers itched towards the yaoi button. "Oo! Or even better" She giggled as her finger hovered over the "instant hetero-romance" button.
Aiko nodded eagerly, then sighed a wistful sigh. "Ahh...That would be just lovely!" She grinned widely.
Yukio averted his eyes from the screen, blushing at the odd contortions his body was performing. His attentions switched to the girls. He noticed they held something in their hands, and they were staring at it quite intently. Maybe a bit TOO intently... He blinked. "You don't think...maybe that's what they used to get us in this mess!" He stalked over to the girls, Kisho in tow. "Ladies, just WHAT are you doing, if you don't mind my asking?"
Aiko's grin vanished, as she pushed the remote behind herself and Db. "Oh...nothing...sir." She beamed suspiciously at him.
"You know, Yukio, we DO have names...I'm DB and this is Aiko." She beamed in the same suspicious was as Aiko did. "Um... would you guys like anything to drink?" She asked in a desperate attempt to divert their attention.
"Oh! I would like some uh- OW!" He winced as Yukio elbowed him in the side.
Yukio blinked. "All right, Aiko and DB. No. We don't need anything to drink, thank you." He practically growled the last part at Kisho, who flinched. "But I would like to see what it is you're holding." He gave a bishilicious stare to entice the impressionable Aiko to give him the remote.
She squirmed. She twitched. She tried to look away, but to no avail. Her eyes got shimmery as she offered the remote up to the once-bodiless man. "Yes, I WILL MARRY YOU!"
Yukio accepted the device as he raised an eyebrow, examining it.
DB slapped her forehead and snatched the device viciously out of his hands. "That would be ours, thank you. Hmph... no respect for other people's stuff... that's Inuyasha, alright..." She glared at Aiko and shoved the drooling, star-struck fangirl over. "Whose side are you on?!?!" She ground out.
Aiko fell the to floor with a CRASH! and was shaken, quite rudely I might add, from her dreamy stupor. She frowned up at DB. "Geez... Always with the violence...Tell me you wouldn't give anything to a face like that?!" She got up, dusting her bum off and rubbing her back. "That hurt, ya know!"
Yukio looked semi-annoyed, as he usually did, and scowled to DB. "What exactly IS that thing, might I ask?" He beckoned Kisho over, knowing that he would have more of an effect on DB. He gave him a look that said, "Convince her to hand it over to us!"
"Watch and learn Aiko," Db said to Aiko, smirking, not unlike the way Naraku did before inflicting immense mental strain upon someone, and folded her arms. "But for the sake of being a diplomatic villain," she sighed, holding up the remote. "This is the remote for my TV. I didn't want you to accidentally change the channel 'cause I'm recording that." She grinned slyly, gesturing over to the TV and the happenings on the screen.
Kisho narrowed his eyes and leaned towards Yukio. "I think she's hiding something....What about you?"
A vein throbbed in Yukio's forehead, as he cuffed Kisho soundly on the head, quite reminiscent of how Inuyasha conked Shippou numerous times. He hissed under his breath, "Of COURSE she's hiding something you moron! That's OBVIOUSLY the contraption she used to make our bodies do those," he shuddered at this point, "HORRIBLE things...We've got to get a hold of it..."
Kisho nodded firmly and left the shelter of Yukio's shoulder, making Db grin, which signified danger. The bishie then proceeded to hide behind Yukio once more. "She...really scares- OW! Damnit!" he winced as Yukio knocked him hard upside the head again." OK! OK!" He went forward and folded his arms. "Tell me what you're hiding!" He said as tactlessly as Miroku trying to get a woman in bed.
Yukio stepped on Kisho's foot, and growled, "Have you no TACT?! Physical contact, not demands!" He rolled his eyes at the fumbling bishounen.
Aiko poked DB, unsure of how her friend would react. "I think he likes you," she whispered, grinning.
Db bounced around. "You think so, Aiko?!?!"
Kisho growled at Yukio and shook his fist at him before his attention was shifted to the blonde girl prancing about the room. "Oy.... What have I gotten myself into?" He cleared his throat and turned on the charm. "Hey Db..." Kisho said with an eyebrow waggle.
Db froze perfectly still as if someone pushed pause with the remote and then a squeal erupted from her throat which caused everyone in the room, 'cept Aiko 'cause she was used to it, to wince.
Kisho gulped and took a step forward, smiling his best dazzling smile. "How about letting me see that remote? Hmm? I'd really love it if you handed it over..."
That ruined the stupor he'd put Db in. She glared at him and took a step back. "No!"
Kisho shouted a war cry ( "GIMME!") and then tackled the fan girl to the ground, pinning her.
Db gave him an eyebrow waggle. "Kinky!"
The bishie groaned and did something incredibly desperate, which Yukio probably wouldn't let him live down.... He kissed her. "'Least it put her into a paralysis..." He grumbled, taking the remote and trudging back to Yukio. "There... HAPPY!?"
Yukio smirked triumphantly. "Sure am, lover-boy." He snatched the controller from the other bishounen's hands and examined it once more.
Aiko rolled her eyes, helping her friend up from the ground. "Hmph. And you ask whose side I'M on. Psshh..." The girl sighed, looking to the lovely manifestation of Inuyasha's conscience. "All right...You can use it to go back into your original bodies, okay?" She looked up at him with puppy eyes, but to no avail; Yukio wasn't affected by dogs...after all, he was partially one himself. She continued. "But can we have it back when you're done?"
Yukio sneered incredulously, tossing the remote up and catching it swiftly in his right hand. "Hmph. Me? Go back to THAT body?! I think not! With this device...just think of the possibilities?! We'll no longer be chained to the biddings of those wretches..." He jerked his thumb toward the screen image of Inuyasha and Kouga in a VERY compromising position. "No. I think I shall keep this little... 'remote', as you call it. It should be quite useful..." He started off. "Let's go, Kisho."
"If you expect me to follow you around like a dog (shut up! I'm aware of the irony) You're crazy! I still hate you, you know!"
Db sat bolt upright once she realized she wasn't holding the remote...and she didn't look so happy...
Kisho thought she was scary when she was plotting... But now she was absolutely terrifying. "Uh...on second thought... RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!"
Out they ran, the two embodiments. Once they were far enough away, Yukio conked Kisho on the head. "Let's get one thing straight," he started, his eyes fierce. "I don't work for anybody...they work for me." He paced, spinning on his heels at every turn. "Now, I have the remote," he tightened his grip, "and that means YOU follow ME...Got it?!" He smirked. "Your only other choices are your lover-girl back there, who will most likely disembowel you, or I send you back into your old body, trapped in a fangirl's sick fantasy forEVER."