Remote Sanity

Part four: Lover's suite

Back at the headquarters of...something, Aiko scowled at DB. "GREAT! You scared 'em off, Db!" She pouted.

Db twitched. "He TRICKED me! You can't blame me for that! You were going to hand it over to Yukio just cause he LOOKED at you!"

Kisho winced at the thought of having to follow someone else around and glared at his only ally. "Sleep with one eye open." He grumbled. "Um... say Mr. Brains of the Operation...where the hell are we going?"

Yukio glanced at Kisho. "We're going to Mt. Fuji...There, we can reach a farther radius... we can take over the world!" he said with a maniacal air. He was beginning to gain his own personality, separate from that of Inuyasha. "And you'd better watch your own back." He flashed a fanged grin at Kisho, then looked to the sky. "It's getting dark out...we'd better camp here for the night." He plunked down by a streetlight.

Suddenly, an elderly Japanese man walked up to streetlight, jumping at the sight of the two pretty-boys. You see, there aren't many hobos in Japan. And that's exactly what they looked like...hobos. In Japanese, he asked, "Are you two looking for a motel?"

Aiko looked at DB, quite hurt. "Well, I'm sorry I can't attract the bishies..." She looked toward where they had exited. "I s'pose we should follow them?"

Db got to her feet and dusted herself off and then offered Aiko a hand up. "I think we may have another problem at the moment." She gestured at the TV. "Well.. not so much as a problem..." She said, grinning wolfishly. "But more of a responsibility.... Sides.. I'm running out of tape."

Kisho frowned in confusion. "Moe tell? Wassat?" He whispered to Yukio and was promptly smacked for no apparent reason. "DAMNIT! Don't DO that!"

Yukio smirked at Kisho. "Why? It's so fun!" he muttered. The old Japanese man, seeing the longhaired Kisho and hearing the two quarrel, smiled warmly and nodded knowingly. "Oh...you two must be newly-wed lovers! Right down the street is a nice motel. You go get yourselves a nice cozy suite and have fun!" Before either bishounen could remark, the crosswalk light turned to the walking man, and the old man left without another word, chuckling heartily to himself.

Yukio shook his fist at the man's back. "We're NOT lovers!" he shouted loudly, drawing stares. He blushed and dragged Kisho with him. "Let's go..." He headed down to where the old man had pointed.

Aiko gasped, horrified. "We need more tapes!!" She bit her lip anxiously, then got distracted by the yaoi on screen.

Db sighed happily watching the TV. "I don't think they're going to stop any time soon...wow... Inuyasha's pretty damn flexible...Wow..." She tilted her head to the side. "Maybe we should stop them.... For at least 5 minutes.... Or something... jeebus!"

Aiko blinked, then shook her head to snap herself out of the daze. "Yeah...I suppose we should, shouldn't we?" She grimaced. "But how? Yukio and Kisho have the remote now, remember?"

Kisho was horrified at the old man's remark. "YEAH! What he said! Oh my God..... I just agreed with you..." Then he proceeded to shudder. But his melodrama was cut short as Yukio began to drag him along. "HEY! Watch it buddy! That's my ARM you're trying to tear off!!!"

Yukio glowered at Kisho. "Shut up, you whiner!" Finally, after much dragging, the arrived at the motel's front office.

There was an overly enthusiastic young woman sitting behind the counter, smiling happily. She looked up from her typing and saw the two, smiling even wider. "May I help you?" she inquired in polite Japanese.

Yukio recognized the smile on her face, annoyed. "Look...we need a moe tell room, Miss."

She nodded vigorously, then scanned the key sets until she found the one she wanted. "Ah!" she exclaimed. "Room 69! The LOVER'S suite!" She giggled to herself, handing the fluffy pink key chain to Yukio, and giving a pair of fuzzy, leopard-print handcuffs to Kisho. "You two have fun!" she finished with a wink.

Yukio growled as she ushered them to their room. "We are NOT lov--"

"Here we are! I hope you 'enjoy' your stay!" She giggled and ran off before he could complete his sentence. He fumed, uttering obscenities under his breath as he unlocked the door to reveal a most horrid sight...

The room was tacky as all get-up. There were mirrors on the ceiling, above the circular, rotating, red satin sheet-covered bed. The walls were bright pink, and EVERYTHING, even the walls, was fuzzy. Yukio's eyes narrowed, and he mumbled more curse words.

Kisho grinned widely, taking his arm out of Yukio's lax grip. He put his hand on the other boy's shoulder. "So lover," Kisho said snickering, "what's the plan now?" The bishie ducked quickly before Yukio could hit him and he walked away, touching the walls. "It's so soft!" He squealed in a cutesy, very unbishie-like voice.

Yukio rolled his eyes, quite annoyed. "You make me sick," he muttered under his breath, advancing to a bright pink vanity desk and taking a piece of motel stationery. "We plan, of course," he said matter-of-factly. He opened a drawer in the desk, searching for a writing utensil. Unfortunately, what he found weren't pens. A box of condoms lay in the drawer, and, though he didn't know what they were or what they were for, he sensed that it was something embarrassing. Well...that, and it had a very graphic picture on the front of the box...

Finally, he found a pen. He began scribbling on the paper, planning how to get to Mt. Fuji. He let out a huge yawn, and set the pen down, rubbing his eyes. "Well, it IS rather late, so I suppose we'll have rest and think about it in the morning..." He walked over to the red satin bed, approaching it warily. He quirked an eyebrow. "Er...there's only one bed..."

Aiko walked over the to huge screen, after pacing for some time, thinking about how they would get the intertwined bishies in Sengoku Jidai to the present...and into reality. They were, after all, anime characters. She sighed. "It's HOPELESS!" She leaned against the big screen in dismay. Much to her surprise, she fell right through. "GAAH!" she shrieked, falling backward onto the soft green grass of Inuyasha's forest. She clambered to her feet, looking back at Db in the lair. Db looked just as puzzled as Aiko felt, and, feeling pressed for an answer, Aiko shrugged and said uncertainly, "Plothole?"

"Whatever works..." Said Db. The blonde, not being one to question when awesome things happen, stepped through the big screen as well. "Just like Alice in Wonderla- aaaaaaaah...."And then she proceeded to drool excessively at the up-close yaoi between the two bishies.

Kisho looked at Yukio and then at the bed. "Um... riiiight.... DIBS!" He shouted and then jumped on the bed. "And nothing can destroy the universal law of Dibs! So proclaims the- OW! Damnit!!!! DON'T HIT ME!"

Yukio's upper lip twitched. He pushed Kisho lightly and the hyped-up bishounen quickly slid over the edge of the satin-covered bed, falling to floor with a THUMP. The cocky once dog demon smirked and pulled the covers up, stepping carefully into bed. He snuggled into the covers and made a cute little doggy noise, smiling happily. "Oyasumi, idiot," he called to Kisho.

Aiko grinned stupidly at the wondrous sight before them. She sighed dreamily. "Oh Db! Do we HAVE to tear it apart?!" She gave her friend a whimpering puppy look, as her lower lip trembled. "Do we...?"

Db snapped back to her old self and sighed heavily. "We must... Though it pains me so!" She put the back of her hand to her forehead in a very dramatic way and then paused. "The question is..." She tilted her head sideways, quirking an eyebrow. "Uh...how?"

Kisho growled and snatched a pillow and proceeded to whack Yukio over the head with it. "Loser..." he grumbled, and slipped into the same bed, stealing all the covers and shoving Yukio over. He then grinned happily until WHAM! a pillow was brought down on his head. "DAMNIT! GAH!"

Yukio growled menacingly, smacking Kisho upside the head numerous times with the surprisingly hard pillow. SMACKSMACKSMACKSMACK!.....SMACK! "ARGH!" he grumbled, stealing back the covers, his happy mood vanishing. "Hmph. Fine. You can sleep in the bed too...Just don't take the covers, and most importantly...TELL NO ONE OF THIS!" He laid his head back down on the pillow and closed his eyes, facing the opposite direction of Kisho.

Kisho grumbled and took some of the covers. He snickered, "Nighty night lov-OW!" He grabbed the pillow and was about to whack Yukio for whacking him but he found the bishie still asleep. "Weenie..." He grumbled and laid back down, not wanting to wake Yukio up cause....uh... cause he'd get the crap pummeled outta him if he did! Yeah... it most certainly wasn't 'cause the violence-prone bishie was cute when he was sleeping... never!