Remote Sanity
Part five: Female body inspector
Aiko scratched her head. "Hmm...Uh....um...." She again became distracted by the shounen-ai. She shook her head violently. "NONONONONO!" She turned around stubbornly and faced a nearby tree, sitting cross-legged. "Ah...much better...Relatively speaking," she mumbled to herself. After a couple of minutes, and a lot of pain and suffering on Aiko's part, mind you (...what with the thinking and all...), she suddenly hopped up, enlightened. Unfortunately, she hit a low-hanging branch on the way up, and fell right back to the ground. "OWIE!!!" She rubbed the new bump on her head, then regained her composure, turning to DB. "I've got it!! We'll..."
But before the girl could finish her sentence, a high-pitched scream came from behind Inuyasha and Kouga.
"OSUWARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"
"Well that made things a whole lot easier for us." Db said happily, grinning as she watched Kagome completely freak out. Db ducked behind some conveniently placed bushes so Kagome wouldn't spot her. The blonde chuckled and whispered to Aiko. "Jealous much?" she said, gesturing towards the bright red-faced Kagome.
If Aiko had had doggy or kitty ears, they would've drooped. She looked slightly disheartened, and kicked some dirt by her feet. "Aww man...but my plan was so good!" She sighed and ducked beside DB.
Inuyasha, who was now brushing dirt off his face and well-toned abs, sighed as he looked to the angry fuku-clad girl standing with her hands on her hips. "What did you go and do that for?!" he inquired, pulling on his pants.
Kagome's eyes widened incredulously. "Are you kidding me!?!? You and Kouga-kun were engaging in...in...UNSPEAKABLE ACTS!!" She shuddered at the memory.
Kouga blushed, slipping into his man-skirt. Inuyasha glanced at him, smiling coyly. "Who cares what me and Kouga-kun 'engage in'?"
Kagome twitched with anger. "KOUGA-KUN?!"
Meanwhile, night had turned to day back in the real world. The light shone in the tacky motel room, dappled by the sequined curtains. Yukio opened his eyes, and blinked to get them into focus. He felt very happy and content, because last night he had been so warm and cozy...
Finally, his eyes began working properly. He stifled a screech. No longer was he facing the wall...he was now nose-to-nose with Kisho, the other man's even breath on his face. He was hugging the blue-haired bishie much like one would hold a teddy bear. Their bare chests were pressed against each other...
"AAAAAAH!!!!!" the blush-faced bishounen shoved himself away from Kisho, underestimating his own strength and sliding off the satin-covered bed and into the door.
"AAAAAAH!!!!" Kisho shouted, simply because Yukio had done so, and sat bolt upright. "What happened?! Did the girls find us?! WHAT?!" He hopped off the bed and looked down at Yukio. "Damn your face is red..." He shrugged and brushed his hair back out of his face.
Yukio blinked and averted his eyes, growing redder. "It IS not!" he said, with a stubbornness not unlike Inuyasha's. He got up, dusting off his pants and trying to regain his self-possession. He cleared his throat. "Nothing. It was...nothing. I thought I saw one of the girls, but...uh...it was that annoying key lady. Y'know...the um...one who brought us to the room?" He chuckled nervously, then shook it off, becoming himself once more. "Keh. There's no time to talk, anyway. We've gotta get to Mt. Fuji before those girls get to us!" He rummaged through the drawers, which were conveniently stuffed with complimentary t-shirts from America. He handed one to Kisho and put one on himself. His read, "My friend went to Hooters, and all I got was this stupid T-shirt!" and Kisho's read, "Female Body Inspector". He turned to the door abruptly, blushing as he caught sight of the bed. "One more thing. Next moe tell we go to, we get TWO beds...."
Kisho looked at the bed and then back to Yukio and shrugged. A sly grin overcame his features as he snaked past Yukio to the door. "Whatever you say, lover!" He smirked and ducked out before Yukio could hit him, shutting the door and holding it thusly while Yukio pounded on it. "Good times...good times."
Kouga giggled and draped his arm over Inuyasha's shoulder, grinning sheepishly at Kagome. "Yeah Kags...Mind your own business." Then he frowned. Wasn't there supposed to be an annoying voice in his head or something telling him to get away from Inuyasha? Oh well! Not like he cared.
Kagome seethed with rage. "MIND MY OWN...ARRRGH...Why I oughta..." She was about to shout the famous phrase of subjugation when Db and Aiko hopped out and pulled her behind the bush, covering her mouth.
"Don't be scared!" Aiko said, smiling in her deranged way. "We're here to help!"
Db scratched the back of her head. "Um yeah...what she said.... We're here to help them," she pointed at Kouga and Inu, who were watching DB and Aiko lazily, "get a part of their minds back... So to speak..."
Aiko snickered. "They...LOST THEIR MIND!" She found this quite hilarious, and giggled for about 5 minutes. Kagome looked annoyed. "Aaaaanywho," she continued, "Inu and Kouga lost their consciences because...um....well, that's not really important." She decided to leave the whole detail of DB and her being the cause of Kagome's admirers' love fest. Best not to anger the girl further. "Now they're running loose in our world. We need to get those two to come with us so we can reunite them and put everything back in its natural order!!" She finally took a breath.
Kagome nodded. "Stranger things HAVE happened." She looked over to the wolf and dog demons, who were gazing lovingly into each other's eyes. She nodded once again, this time more firmly. "All right. Take them. And hurry back!"
Db nodded and took hold of Kouga's arm and pulled, but he didn't budge. "Aiko! Help me out, would ya?!" She kept tugging but Kouga paid no mind, his attentions locked on Inuyasha completely.
"KISHO!!!!! LET (BANG) ME (BANG) OUT!!!!" Yukio was furious as he threw his body against the door to open it. It was no use. He couldn't get it open! What was he to do with that idiot out there wasting time? Regardless of how warm and comforting he was...WAIT! Scratch that! Ahem...anyway, Yukio sighed and paced, smoothing the back pockets of his jeans. Suddenly, he felt the remote. He grinned slyly, then pressed a couple of buttons. "Oh Kisho..."
Kisho didn't like the tone of voice that Yukio had used, and for good reason too. "Yes, o' friend of mine who wouldn't do anything mean and spiteful just because I said one little insignificant word?" He said hesitantly, still holding the door shut even though the pounding had stopped.
Yukio walked up to the door, holding brandishing the remote like a weapon. His voice took on a sugary sweet tone. "Oh...nothing...I just thought you'd like to know that I have the device...Who KNOWS what havoc I could wreak on your willpower?" He smiled to himself, then laughed. "But keh...you don't give a damn. You just want to joke around... I bet you wouldn't even notice if I..."
Aiko ran over and whispered something in Inuyasha's ear that made him perk up and run willingly into the lair, through the screen. Kouga followed suit, trailing behind his newfound lover. Aiko giggled at the looks that both Kagome and DB had given her. "Well, what're you waiting for, DB?!" She laughed maniacally and grabbed her friend's hand, dragging her into the lair. "BYE, KAGOME!" she called back to the schoolgirl.
"Ugh," Kagome said, a falling sensation in her stomach, "I hope everything works out all right..."
Db quirked an eyebrow at Aiko as they went back into their lair. "Um...what did you tell them?" She asked, jerking her thumb towards Kouga and Inuyasha. "They look awful happy..." She scratched her head.
Aiko giggled to herself, somewhat maliciously, but also quite cutely. She looked slyly at DB. "Time'll tell...time'll tell," she said, trotting off.
Db growled in frustration, secrets were not the curious blonde's friend. "ANYway..." she ground out, "Where should we begin looking for our playthi-er...escapees?" She frowned, watching Kouga intently as only a stalker could.
Kisho opened the door and peeked in. "Um... Would it help if I said I was sorry and begged for mercy?" He grinned as cutely as he could.
"Yes," Yukio said, pulling the door open, "it would, as a matter of fact." He stepped out, shoving Kisho out of the way somewhat roughly, as he trudged through the parking lot. He walked off into the sunrise, Kisho in tow, looking more determined (and sexier :3) than ever.
Meanwhile, back at the motel, the happy-go-lucky key lady trotted into the lover's suite with a grin on her face. "RISE AND...shine?" She looked let down, and then took on a pondersome look. "They didn't pay their bill..."