"You're talking about me behind my back now?"

Remus Lupin groaned as he watched her step through the flames. "Des, I wrote Harry because he wrote me. He wanted to know if I had any clue what happened over here to make you distracted. He's not exactly thrilled with the fact that you've been keeping him out of the loop the last few days, since you're the one who worked to get him there in the first place." He rubbed his eyes, which were sore from dust in the filthy home that the Order called headquarters. Molly tried and tried, but she could never seem to finish cleaning the Black home. "Moody mentioned Malfoy had said something to get under your skin, told me what you replied, and I put two and two together. Harry asked me what the hell happened to you when you were here last because he could tell something had from the way you were acting, and I told him the truth. Malfoy reminded you of a mistake you made years ago and you hadn't managed to tell Severus yet and it was probably eating you up inside. I also asked him to keep an eye on you. Your grandfather was worried about how you'd handle letting the love of your life in on the family secret, and he agreed to keep an eye on you." His expression turned guilty. "I was too, to be honest. I know you, Des. You don't let go of guilt easily. I just wanted to make sure you would be alright."

Desi echoed her best friend's groan as she sank into the chair he pointed to. "You. Papa. Sev. Now Harry. Why are all the men in my life trying to take care of me?"

"Maybe because we all love you, Des. Ever think of that?" He smiled wanly at her. He missed James and Sirius; they'd been the brothers he'd never had. Desdemona wasn't quite the same and she never tried to be. The unlikeliest best friend he could ever have asked for all those years ago, when everyone who mattered to him disappeared. Probably the only person he'd ever met who had an idea of what being a werewolf was really like on the emotional level. "Honestly, Des. You're harder on yourself than you need to be. You're neither perfect nor some monster. You're human. Trust me, I know. I am one."

"Remus, a few days a month doesn't take away your humanity."

"Nor does one stupid mistake, Des." Lupin braced himself; this was either going to completely backfire or completely work. He didn't know which, but he was determined to get through to her. "You're normal, Des. You're going to snap and lose your temper and act irrationally. It's not the end of the world. You made one incredibly bad mistake. In a lifetime of trying to save the world, you made one bad call. It's a better score than I managed."

He paused to let the words sink in, watching her body language. "Think, Des. You pleaded with the Sorting Hat to place you in Slytherin based on nothing more than seeing some lonely boy get teased during your first train ride to Hogwarts. You made friends with your tutor because you picked up on the fact that he wasn't around a few days every month. You spent five years coming up with a potion to keep me sane every time a full moon rose. You worked out a way to reverse the most hated piece of dark wizardry created in forty years. You came back to Hogwarts knowing full well you'd have to eventually own up to your past. You managed to convince the heir to the main evil family of England to try a different career option. Hell, Des, don't you think, for five minutes, all of that outweighs killing some piece of filth who was hell-bent to kill you?"

"You know it's more than that, Remus. We've been through this all before. It's not just the murder, it's the..."

"Des, I love you with my whole heart, but right now I want to throttle you." Lupin growled, slowly losing his temper with her. Instead of hurting her, he reached over, taking both of her hands into his own. "You're missing the point. Were you yourself? No. I saw you that night, remember? I was by your side the day after. You weren't the usual Desdemona we all knew. I'd be lying if I said we weren't a little scared of you. You were angry and vengeful and maybe a little disconnected from the moment. But, Des, it doesn't make you a horrible creature."

She was too tired to yell anymore. The weight of everyone in her life saying the same thing was crushing her. "Then why do I feel like it does?"

He smiled faintly at her. "It's called guilt, Des. It's not a sign that you're going insane. It's not an indication that you're some terrible being who is going to erupt at any time and destroy all you know and love. It just shows you have a conscience. You were a human being pushed a little too far. End of story. Now," he yawned, "are you done beating yourself up again, or are you still concerned you're going to turn into the bride of Slytherin?"

The joke finally reached her. "I feel like a total idiot."

"Well, frankly, you should. The big Dumbledore family secret it out: Desdemona killed a Death Eater, and laughed as she did it. Sweetheart, if that's the only skeleton in your closet, you have less to feel guilty for than most wizards I've met in my lifetime." He turned to look over his shoulder. "I've got night watch, Des. Are you finally alright?"

Desi looked up at the clock behind him and rubbed her tired eyes. "Yeah, I think I am."

Her best friend took her in his arms and held her close for a moment, reassuring her that she would never be alone, laying a gentle kiss on top of her head. "Good. In that case, go find tall, dark, and loathsome and set things right with him. And if you need me to bite him, just let me know."

She actually giggled. It was music to his ears.

"What?"

The cold stare, narrow eyes, and snarled question showed Desi he was more upset than she'd originally thought. Oh well. She deserved it. Heaving a sigh of frustration, she stepped in the room. "Can we talk?"

"About what? I'm busy."

"Nice try, Sev. You have lesson plans done for the next month. I know; we wrote them together, remember? And you finished your grading last night." Desi swallowed. "I owe you an apology."

"You're damned right you do." The anger in his voice was unavoidable. He leaned back in his office chair and crossed his arms over his chest, rage lying just below his cold surface. "So, apologize."

"You don't need to make it any harder than it already is, Severus." Desi walked up to his desk, leaned against it with palms on the desktop, and stared him in the eyes. "I'm sorry, alright? I'm sorry I never told you about Rowe. I'm sorry I never came out and said what I've been worrying about ever since confronting Malfoy that night. I'm sorry that the best I've done is hint at things and that I never found the time or the words to tell you something that you deserved to hear. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about my parents when I was eleven because I didn't like thinking about them. I'm sorry that I was so ashamed of something in my past that I covered it up and hid it from everyone I know. And I'm sorry that I didn't have a clue as to how to share this all with you. Is that a good enough apology?"

Black eyes glared into blue. "You forgot about apologizing for slapping me."

That smug, sanctimonious bastard...

Her arm drew back to replicate, rather than apologize for, the act. He caught her wrist just before it made contact. "No, Desdemona. I didn't deserve it then, and I don't deserve it now."

The glare in her eyes didn't quite match the sulking pout that was on her face, and Severus fought hard to not laugh. He thought it was cute; she'd consider it an insult if he said so. "Are you done apologizing?"

Her only response was to raise her eyebrows.

"I'll take that to be a yes." He was torn between bitter anger with her over keeping a secret and a desire to protect her from any further pain. Potter had known; hell, Lupin had known. That alone rankled him; of all people on the planet for Desdemona to choose as a best friend, it had to be the werewolf he'd hated since school. Dumbledore knew, fine, he was her grandfather. But a werewolf and a student knowing the woman he'd pined after for twenty five years considered herself a murderer when he had no clue bothered him immensely.

Could he let her think he merely forgive her for not trusting him?

But she forgave you...

Sometimes, he hated having a conscience.

"If I accept your apology, then what, Desi?" The question came out in a resigned and tired voice. It was close to midnight and this had been a longer day than he'd anticipated. "Do we pretend today didn't happen? Do we just go about our happy little relationship as if nothing was said? Do I just forget that you couldn't trust me enough to tell me this? Do you forget that I was offended by that lack of trust? What do we do, Desi?"

She closed her eyes, chewing on her lower lip in an attempt to not start crying. She deserved his bitterness. "I don't know, Sev. I don't know." Her voice was shaking, her hands trembling. "All I know is I've hated myself for what I've done for so long, I assume everyone who finds out about it will hate me too. I never thought when I came back here that I'd have to confess this to anyone, especially you. And then things were going well, and it felt like we'd put so much behind us that I was too afraid to bring it back up with you, and I don't know what else to say anymore other than I'm sorry..." Her voice broke as it trailed off, almost in pain from holding back tears.

From where he stood, Severus Snape felt he had two choices. He could let her continue her little self-loathing trip, or he could tell her he'd forgiven her hours ago after a lengthy conversation with her big brother Lupin, who had decided to pop his head in his fireplace after talking to Potter. Heart to hearts with people he didn't care for were not the thrill of his life; but then again, they'd both seemed able to put aside their differences for her sake. Their talk had explained more than Desi knew.

"So she could tell you and not me?"

"No, you thick-headed moron. All these years of potions classes must have made sure you sniffed enough fumes to go mental. I was there, Severus. I came back to the house in time to see them carrying her in, unconscious from the sleeping spell Dumbledore cast on her. He showed me the memory he took from her and added to his pensieve. She wasn't herself, Severus. She wasn't herself for days later. We were all afraid she'd gone mad."

"Was I supposed to never find out? How come you could know and I couldn't?"

"You weren't with the Order yet. You were still with Voldemort. The only reason Dumbledore told me was because he was afraid Des was going to lose her mind, and I was the only person he trusted and she cared for. Then he decided to get her far away before Malfoy could say anything and the truth came out. And for the record, Count Grumpy, she was on her way to tell you when whatever caused her to snap happened. I talked to her earlier today; she was trying to find a way to tell you."

"She was?"

"Yes, Severus. She was planning to tell you. Don't be so hard on her; she put herself through hell when she realized what she did. You weren't there to see what it did to her back then. She was nothing more than a walking ghost for days; she spent years hating herself. No matter how mad you might be at her, it pales in comparison to how she feels about herself, I promise you."

"So, what, I'm supposed to be fine with it?"

"No, you idiot. You're supposed to take care of her like I told you to."

That pesky conscience of his crept up again.

He walked around the desk, turned Desi by her shoulders, and forced her to look up at him. "There is nothing in this world I could do to punish you more than you punished yourself. Even if I hated you for this, even if I blamed you, and even if I thought I couldn't trust you with so much as a blank piece of parchment, you've managed to make yourself more miserable than I ever could. I don't hate you, I don't blame you, and I do trust you. So, quit making yourself miserable so the two of us can deal with this, because frankly, I have enough to worry about with a dark lord wanting you, me, and half the people we know dead without having to worry about whether or not you're off sulking because we had a fight."

A small spark lit up her eyes behind unshed tears. "I haven't been sulking. I've been..."

"Shut up, Desi."

Those were the last words either of them uttered for quite some time.

"Are you sure you're ready?"

"For the tenth time, Desdemona, let's get this over with."

The pair stood in the hospital wing of the school, with McGonagall, Dumbledore, and Madam Pomfrey in attendance. Minerva wanted to see this piece of transfiguration for herself. Madam Pomfrey was just preparing for another patient.

Albus Dumbledore was there to comfort his granddaughter if something went wrong.

"Alright. If you're sure you're ready..."

"Damn it to hell, Desdemona!" McGonagall and Pomfrey jumped at the roar that came from the Defense professor. "Zeus and Hera, even Voldemort didn't make me wait this long the first time around. Will you just bloody do it already so this can be over?" A flicker of motion at his side made him turn in time to see Desi reach in her robes for the bottle hanging around her neck. "And don't think for a second you're pulling that little trick!" Severus seethed with rage. "Give that bottle to me. No damned potion. That's final!"

Desdemona seized her hands into fists and fought the urge to hex his ears off. "Why the hell not? I thought we covered this last night. You're taking the damned potion and THAT'S final!"

"WE didn't cover anything. YOU decided. I told you once, Desi, you're NOT suffering this for me. I made this choice. I'm going to bear the consequences, and to hell with your noble thoughts!"

"Fine. Have it your way, then." She tucked the bottle back in her robes. "I hope this hurts."

"We both know it will. Just do it." He rolled up his sleeve, clenching his jaw and preparing himself for the pain he knew was coming. If it was anything like the experience of getting the mark, this would be far from pleasant.

Desi would certainly get her wish. Damn her and her stubborn pride.

Hell, damn my own.

The three other occupants of the room politely remained silent until the pair finished with their daily screaming match.

Desi took a deep breath and calmed her mind. Meditation - yet another useful Muggle trick she'd learned. They really weren't as off-the-mark as some wizards wanted to believe. With a glance to her grandfather and a nod from Severus, she tapped his left arm three times.

"Mutopriopro."

Just as before, white light poured from the end of Desi's wand and wrapped itself around Severus' arm, focusing on the Dark Mark she'd tapped. As with Malfoy's transfiguration, the room echoed with the sound of tearing cloth. The sound didn't come close to the experience. Severus felt as if the skin on his arm was lifting away, ripping from his arm, only to be sewn on again. At first, he suffered in silence. However, eventually, the screams from pain came. The sensation of stretching and pulling, of a needle sewing on new skin, of nerves and muscle being ripped from his arm and then suddenly reconnecting became too much. Snape hit the floor on his knees, clutching his arm, until he finally fell over, unconscious.

As the light faded, Desi stood completely still, not breathing or blinking. McGonagall ran to one side to check Snape's upper arm while Madam Pomfrey went to the other to check for a pulse and breathing.

They replied in unison. The Mark was gone. He was alive.

Desdemona sagged against a bed, too tired, both physically and emotionally, to hold herself upright anymore, and watched Madam Pomfrey levitate Severus to a bed of his own. Dumbledore walked over to join her, holding her hand and offering her a bar of chocolate to regain her strength.

The waiting began.

It wasn't long before they got a reaction. However, it was one no one had anticipated.

The hospital wing doors slammed open, and a pair of students slowly made their way through, supporting between them a third student, falling in and out of consciousness, intermittent screams of pain and silence coming from him. Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Pomfrey ran to Harry Potter's side while Desi stayed where she was, her eyes darting back and forth from him to Sev and back. It was all she had strength left to do.

"The scar..." Harry managed to eek out the words between blackouts. "He's angry..."

The headmaster looked at Ron and Hermione with searching eyes. "What happened?"

The pair exchanged looks. "We were in the library studying when his scar started hurting again, Professor." Ron never took his eyes off his friend, who was being moved to a bed of his own. "He doesn't complain about it much anymore because he's grown used to it. But he collapsed, and then woke up and said we needed to find you, and passed out again and we dragged him here as fast as we could. We ran into Nick, who said you were all here for some reason, and..." His eyes wandered over to another bed in the room, and he fell silent.

Hermione finished his thoughts. "All Harry kept saying when he could talk was that we needed to find you, Professor. Or Professor Drecorum. Over and over, all he said was "Dumbledore...Drecorum...need to know..." It took us quite a few minutes to get here." She followed Ron's gaze to the other end of the room. "Sir, what happened to Professor Snape?"

Dumbledore pointed to Desi, who was finally rising from her bed to walk to Harry's side after choking down the chocolate. "I believe you know full well, Miss Granger, considering you helped find the spell." He joined his granddaughter at Harry's bedside.

"What in bloody Hell does that mean?" Ron snorted.

Hermione rolled her eyes yet again. "Ron, the transfiguration. The Mark. Hello?"

Ron looked as if a light had gone off overhead. "Oh. Right. Almost had forgotten about that. Is he alright? Snape, I mean. He don't look so good."

Desi jerked up to look at the redhead. "He'll be alright. Eventually. Don't worry about him; look after Harry."

The wizard in question came out of his fog again to a sea of faces. Urgency poured through his green eyes. "Dumbledore! Drecorum!" Bits and pieces came out of Harry's mouth. "Voldemort...the Mark...he felt it. Thought Malfoy was dead...Can't feel Snape anymore. Livid."

All color left Desi's face. She looked up and saw her grandfather's face echoed hers.

Voldemort knew what they'd done.

How?

Desi yanked the chain around her neck over her head and handed it to Ron. "Stay with him. Don't leave his side until I get back, Ron. Not for a second. Only use this if Papa tells you to. I'll be back when I can." Without a second thought to the rest of the people standing around her she raced from the room, leaving doors swinging wide open in her wake. Pelting down hallways, she ran through Peeves and launched herself over staircase landings to get to her apartments, ripping her robes off as she ran, grateful there were no students in her path. She wrenched the door open, raced to her fireplace, and threw a handful of Floo Powder into the flames. Screaming an address, she found herself walking through the fire from Hogwarts into the Order's main sitting room.

Moody, Tonks, and Lupin stared at the disheveled woman gasping for air in shock. "Des?"

"Where's Malfoy?" The snarl in her tone caused Tonks to drop her teacup and Moody to jerk to attention. "Where is he?"

The trio looked at each other before answering. "He's still upstairs, Des. He doesn't leave for Azkaban for another two days." Moody and Lupin exchanged equally-puzzled glances. "What's wrong?"

Her only response was to storm out of the room and to begin marching up filthy staircases, no regard given to the screaming portrait of the former Black matriarch. Moody and Lupin both ran after her.

"Des? What the hell is going on? DES!"

She didn't wait for them to come unlock anything. The door blew off its hinges, showing a restrained Lucius Malfoy sitting in a chair, still recovering from the spell conducted on him five days previous. "Well, well, well. A visitor. How..."

He lost the ability to speak as Desi grabbed his robe by its collar, coming within a hair of choking him, jerking him to his feet. "You left something out when we last talked, Malfoy. Three guesses on what that was?"

He cackled at her. "Did something go wrong with you and your old flame, Desdemona? Did something not go according to your precious plan?"

"As a matter of fact, he's alive and well." She delighted in seeing a small flash of disappointment in his eyes. She twisted her grip on his robes a little more. "However, someone out there in this wide world now knows that you and he are in one piece and minus a little marking. Would you like to tell me now what you left out, Lucius, or do I get the distinct pleasure of chucking you through the fireplace to his little hideaway and letting him finish you off?"

The look in her eyes convinced him she was as serious as she could be. He appealed to the two men guarding the door, wands out. "She's insane! Surely you're not going to let some vengeful lunatic treat me like this?"

Moody and Lupin exchanged a quick look. "Actually," Lupin drawled with a sly smile on his face, "I was thinking of helping her. What about you, Mad-Eye?"

The auror nodded, silently glaring, his magical eye spinning.

Malfoy's frightened gaze shot back and forth from the men to the woman who held him by the throat. "Alright. Alright. Just let me go."

She threw him back down on the bed, holding her wand to his throat instead. "This better be good, Lucius, or I swear to every god ever known I will do things to you that will make all your past crimes child's play. Talk."

He believed her. "The Mark –he draws power from us through it. I'm the only one he told, he didn't trust any of the others to keep their mouths shut about it. That's why I didn't tell you when you asked all those questions. It's how he regained his strength when he returned. He can call us, he can punish us, and he can drain us through it."

Desi thought fast, pieces falling into place. "So, if he's drawing power from his Death Eaters through the mark, and the mark vanished, would that weaken him?" With no response from Malfoy, she glared at him. "But Death Eaters have died..."

"It's not the same." Malfoy rambled quickly in hopes of getting her to go. He was fairly sure now that she'd truly kill him if she didn't like his answers, and he'd rather face his chances with the dementors again than suffer her rage. "When we die, he can drain any remaining life energy and break the connection. But no one's simply removed the Mark before. I don't think he ever thought about the consequences. But if he uses it to get power from us, and that connection was gone... I don't remember the rest; it's all in a book in my study, but you'll never be able to read it..."

Desi lowered her wand. "You're lucky that those two men are here, Lucius, or there wouldn't be anything left for the dementors to play with when you arrive." With a flick of her wrist, the door reattached itself, locks repaired themselves, and the spell that kept Lucius Malfoy incapable of disapparating returned as Desdemona swept from the room.

Lupin grabbed her arm as she began to charge down the stairs again. "Des, dear, would you like to tell me what exactly that was all about?"

Desi looked at him, and the man behind them who stared in intense curiosity. "I transfigured Sev's mark today. A few minutes later, Ron and Hermione dragged Harry into the infirmary. Seems that lovely little scar of his let us in on the fact that Voldemort isn't exactly going to be happy with me."

As they continued down the stairs and back to the foyer, she related bits and pieces over her shoulder at her friend. "The Mark – it's how Voldemort controls and manipulates them all. Once he decided he was strong enough, he elected to finally eliminate Severus. When I intervened, he was weakened by the backlash. You know how that works; spells that backfire come back to haunt the caster. It's how this whole Harry and Voldemort drama began in the first place. When he figured out Lucius was captured, he tortured him to remind him to keep his mouth shut. When I transfigured Malfoy's mark five days ago, it either backlashed against Voldemort again or he thought we killed him and wasn't strong enough to channel the life energy. That's three spells of Voldemort's that I've managed to rebound back to him. Trust me; I'm likely not on his Christmas card list right now. "

They reached the foyer, and she grabbed another handful of powder, rambling the entire time. "I have to get back; I have no idea how Sev is doing, and Harry needs me..."

Lupin grabbed a handful as well. "I'm coming with you, Des. If you're on Voldemort's wish-list, Harry's in trouble, and your precious Sev's unconscious, then someone has to keep you grounded for the next few days."

"Remus, you can't..."

"Des, dammit, shut up. I'm coming with you. This affects the Order as much as it does you. Just accept it and let's go."