A whole day had passed. It was night time. Carter had to work tomorrow. He walked in his door, very very tired. He felt in his pocket and his hand came out holding the piece of paper. He read it again, the reason for the information still unbelievable.
Dr. James Kiaser
Tumor/Cancer specialist.
15346 Brooks Drive.
555-8673
Carter sighed and put the paper back into his pants pocket. He set the brown bag with the antibiotics on the table, next to the telephone. He walked into his kitchen and got a glass of water, walked into the living room and sat down. He finished the glass of water and set it down on the coffee table, rested his elbows on his knees and rubbed his hands over his face.
So many thoughts were crossing his mind. 'Surgery? No way. He didn't want it. No more surgery. He didn't want to be cut up again. One big scar is enough. He didn't need another one on his back to match. He just couldn't deal with this right now. All these thoughts. He thought about his brother Bobby, Mr. Schell, his work. God.... he wondered if Mark and Kerry were still going to let him work there. Having Leukemia, having to stop the Naltrexone. He loved being a doctor, and if he couldn't do that, especially now. He needed to keep his mind busy, his mind off of his life. So much... and no one to comfort him. He felt angry. At himself, at his parents.' He picked up the empty glass and threw it across the room.
"Fuck!" He sobbingly yelled.
"Fuck." He whispered.
He needed something to take his mind off of things, to help him sleep. But he had nothing, no medicine of any kind. He sat on the floor for a while before remembering the bottle of liquor he had, had for a while. Carter got up and walked to the cabinet and pulled out an almost full bottle of Jack Daniels. He looked at it and without hesitation opened the bottle and started to drink this problem and his past memories away.
(The Next Day)
Time: 10:00 a.m.
Cook County General Hospital
"Has anybody seen Carter?" Doctor Mark Green asked.
"No. Why?" Randi asked.
"Because he's late." Kerry Weaver shouted as she walked past the admit desk.
"Oh man is he in trouble." Randi pointed out with a slight laugh.
"Which is why I am asking. He hasn't called or anything?" Mark asked sounding a little worried and anxious.
"If Doctor Carter had called, do you think we would be having this conversation?" she said with a tone of "duh" in her voice.
"Guess not." Mark said with a sigh. "Okay well, if he calls let me talk to him, not Weaver."
"Sure thing Doctor Green."
Mark walked off towards the lounge for a quick cup of coffee. In the lounge Abby and Luka were sitting on the couch on opposite sides, Malucci was sitting at the table. As soon as he walked in he heard the tail end of Abby's sentence.
"....haven't seen him?"
She got quiet when Mark walked in and he noticed this. While getting a cup of coffee he asked the people in the room,
"Anything I should know or be concerned about?"
"No." Abby said rather sharp.
Luka and Malucci shook their heads no. Mark looked at them in a very suspicious manner, then he turned around to pour his coffee.
Quickly Abby whispered, "If you see him, come find me okay."
Mark turned around just as Abby was finished. She stood up quickly from the couch.
"I have labs and... cups... of pee that need attending to." She then walked out the door.
"What's with her?" Mark asked.
Luka and Dave just shrugged their shoulders. Mark gave them both looks then walked out of the lounge with his cup of coffee.
Mark's shift went by pretty slow. He dropped off his last patient's chart and spotted Randi at the computer. He walked over to her.
"Randi has he..."
"Nope."
Mark walked to the lounge. He looked at the clock. 4:28 p.m. He opened his locker, took his white lab coat and stethescope off, put them in his locker and pulled out his own jacket. He put it on and was on his way out the door when Jing-Mei walked in.
"Hi Doctor Green."
"Doctor Chen."
"Are you on your way out?" she asked.
"Yep, I've been on since last night. Thanks for coming in."
"No problem. Has he called?"
"No. Think I may stop by. Check on him."
"Hope he's okay."
"I'm sure he is."
Dr. Chen smiled.
"Goodnight."
"Goodnight Dr. Greene."
Mark walked out of the lounge and spotted Abby at the admit desk. He walked over to her.
"Hey Abby. You got a minute?"
"Yeah."
He motioned for her to walk outside with him.
"What's up?" She asked.
"Well. I'm a little worried about Carter. As his sponsor and friend I was wondering if he's said anything to you about anything that might be wrong."
"No. Not a word."
"How's the meetings and sponsoring going?"
Abby frowned and sighed before answering.
"To be honest, it's been a week since we've gotten together. I don't even know if he's been to a meeting. He's been kind of snappy, distant."
"You need to tell me these things. He needs to go to his meetings or he'll be fired."
"I know. He's stubborn but he needs to want to do this. I'll try and talk to him after work."
"Thanks Abby."
She nodded her head, smiled and watched Dr. Greene walk to his van. He started to drive home, but he was worried about Carter. No show at work and no phone call. That is just not like him. So Mark instead started to drive to Carter's.. He knew where it was because he offered to take Carter home one day. It wasn't that hard to find and not very far from the hospital. He pulled up to the apartment building. He shut off the ignition and sat in the car for a few seconds before getting out and walking up the stairs to the front door. He tried buzzing Carter but got no answer.
"Exscuse me." A young man said behind Mark.
He unlocked the door.
"You need to get in."
"Yes. A friend."
The man held the door open for Mark. He took the elevator to the second floor and found Carter's apartment.He knocked four times. No answer. Then he knocked eight times. Still no answer.
"Carter! Carter! Are you home? Wake up Carter?"
Mark looked around the hall seeing if anyone had heard his commotion. He put his hand on the doorknob and turned it. Bingo. It was unlocked. He hesitated a bit before walking in. The place was quiet and dark. He found a lamp on the table, near the door, by the couch and turned it on. He closed the door very quietly, so that if Carter were here he wouldn't think someone was breaking in.
"Carter. Carter. Are you home? It's me Mark."
No answer.
He looked around and saw broken glass on the floor. He proceeded to walk past the kitchen and the living space, down the hallway further into the apartment. He walked into the bedroom and saw nobody there. The bed was not neat but it didn't look as though someone had slept in it recently. Then he decided to try the bathroom. The light was off but he wanted to make sure the whole place was empty. The door was closed and so he knocked.
"Carter." he said just above a whisper.
No answer.
He tried the knob and it turned. He walked in and turned the light on.
"Jesus Christ Carter." Mark whispered.
He walked over to the young man who was lying in the bathtub fully clothed and holding an empty bottle of Jack Daniels. Mark bent down next to the tub and put two fingers on Carter's neck to find a pulse.
Found.
He breathed a sigh of relief.
"Carter. Carter!" Mark said while lightly slapping the side of his face to wake him up.
Carter was cold to the touch but his clothes were damp from sweat because the bathtub looked dry from any water. The now empty bottle of liquor was resting under Carter's right hand and between his chest. Mark slid the bottle out of the younger man's right hand. Carter's hand limply fell back in the same position on his chest. Mark stood, with the bottle in hand, and looked around the bathroom. The place was a mess.
"Carter. You need a maid." Mark whispered under his breath.
He turned toward the toilet and saw that the toilet seat was up. He noticed signs of vomit on the side of the toilet seat and there was still some in the toilet and on the floor. Mark rubbed a hand on his chin and walked over to the toilet. He then flushed it and took another look at Carter. He thought that he would be okay long enough for him to make a phone call. He wasn't worried about Carter not waking up because from the empty bottle, and the mess in the bathroom he was probably just passed out. He didn't think any drugs had been involved. He even wondered if Carter kept any aspirin in the house. Well if he's here when Carter wakes up, he might find out. He left the light on. He doubted Carter would even remember turning it off , that is, if he even turned it on in the first place. Mark walked down the hallway and placed the empty bottle on the kitchen counter. He then found Carter's phone off to the side of the hallway on the table with the lamp, next to the couch. He started to dial his phone number. He wanted to see if Elizabeth was still at home, when he noticed a brown bag on the table. He knew he shouldn't look into Carter's business, he wanted to know. He grabbed the bag and opened it.
"What?" Mark said with a whisper of curiosity.
Just as the phone was ringing he heard movement behind him and then someone spoke.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Carter said with an angered, tired, slurred tone of voice.
Mark hung up the phone and turned around to face the younger man.
"Carter... I was worried about you. You didn't show up for work and you never called. I came over to see what was going on and I found you passed out drunk in your bathtub." Mark said defensively.
"That still doesn't give you the right to just walk in to somebody's house. ....I want you to get out!" He yelled to Mark.
"No." Mak said.
Carter started to walk toward Mark but stopped when he saw what was in Mark's hand.
"Carter what is this? Mark asked.
He took what was in the bag out and read the label.
"Antibiotics? I didn't know you were sick... why..."
"Give it to me." He said. Then quickly ran at Mark and attempted to grab the bottle but Mark moved out of the way. Carter ran into the wall. He seemed tired and Mark did not want to get into a fist fight or any kind of fight with the young man.
"Give it to me." Carter said.
"What's wrong?" Mark asked once again.
"Give it to me!"
"Carter I want to know what's wrong? I want to help you..." Mark said.
"Help me... Liar."
Carter was standing there, staring at him with rage.
"Carter, you've been drinking, you don't know what you mean. Please, I'm your friend. Tell me...."
MEANWHILE
Kerry was at the admit desk. Luka was at the board, erasing patients who had already been treated. Abby walked up to the desk with a folder in her hand.
"Dr. Weaver?"
"Yeah Abby?"
"I was looking for Mark, I have a lab for him."
"Mark's off, I'll take it."
Abby handed it to Kerry. Kerry opened and saw that it was Carter's urine results. She stared at them. She saw the results and the abnormal numbers. Abby saw her expression as did Luka.
"Randi, get Mark on the phone tell him to come back right now. I'll be in the lounge."
"I wonder what that was all about?" Luka wondered to Abby.
"I don't know." She replied.
Kerry picked up the phone in the lounge and called Carter's number. It rang with no answer. She got a beep and started to leave a message.
CARTER'S
They stood there in silence for about a minute when Mark spoke up.
"Do you want to keep your job? Are you so afraid of letting somebody in?" Mark asked, trying to get Carter to understand that he isn't the enemy.
Just then the phone rang and Mark felt a fist come in contact with his face. Carter had punched him in the face. Carter grabbed the bottle from Mark's hand and started to run for the kitchen. Mark got back to his feet and grabbed Carter. He brought him crashing to the ground. Carter lost grip of the bottle and it rolled under the coffee table.
"Carter. I am here to help you."
"Bullshit." Carter said with a struggling voice.
The phone was on its third ring. Mark had him pinned down and Carter was struggling to get free. Carter finally broke free and pushed Mark away from him and into the couch. Mark grabbed him before he could get far.
"Let go of me!"
"Carter why are you acting this way? What's wrong? Why can't you talk to me?"
Just then there was a beep and then Dr. Weaver's voice was heard. Mark and Carter both got quiet.
beep "Carter. Carter it's Kerry. I have the results to your urine test and I need you to come in. There were some abnormal results. I want you to come in for a blood test. ummm.. please call here or come in as soon as you can. Bye." beep
Realizing that he now didn't have a choice Carter calmed down and relaxed his body. Mark relaxed his grip and Carter pushed him away. He scooted his body to rest against the kitchen counter.
"You want to know?"
"Yes, I do."
"Leukemia."
"Carter..." Mark said in an 'i'm sorry' tone
"Don't." He quickly said, cutting Mark off.
"What?"
"Feel sorry. Be sorry. It isn't your fault."
"Were you ever going to tell anyone?"
"I would had to of told you and Kerry. I... I have a tumor. He suggests I stop using the Naltrexone because of the effects it might have with my treatment."
"I'm sure we can understand that."
"God.... my head hurts."
"Well.... my face hurts."
Carter smiled.
"Sorry."
Mark smiled.
Carter stood and looked through his cabinets. He started to laugh.
"What's so funny." Mark asked.
"I just realized I don't keep aspirin around anymore. Actually I don't keep anything like that in the house. Which explains the alcohol." He said realizing what a mistake that was to say it in that way.
"Carter." Mark said sounding disappointed.
"Which I am starting to regret."
"Yeah. I bet."
"So..."
"You work tomorrow right?"
"Yeah."
"I'll let Weaver know and we can discuss this tomorrow."
Carter nodded his head and rubbed a hand through his hair.
"You need to get some rest. I got to get home. Elizabeth might be worried since I was off at four-thirty and haven't been home yet. And Carter. You need to call Abby."
"Yeah...... Thanks."
"Welcome... Night Carter."
"Night Dr. Greene."
Mark walked out the door and Carter exhaled deeply. His back was throbbing. The alcohol was probably blocking any pain he would be having. He rubbed his lower back then looked at the clock. The time was 5:03 p.m. He walked to the table and grabbed the bottle from underneath. He went to the kitchen, grabbed a glass of water and took one. Then he walked to the bathroom and saw the mess on the toilet and on the floor. He also noticed how dirty the rest of the bathroom looked.
"I gotta get a maid."
Carter got some soap and paper towels and cleaned up the vomit. Then he threw the paper towels away and left the soap on the counter sink in the bathroom. He decided that he had better get some sleep. He thought about taking a shower but realized how much energy that was gonna take. He would probably fall asleep while taking one. He did not want to take the chance of Mark coming in his house and finding him passed out, naked in his bathtub. So he shut the bathroom light off and walked to the bedroom. He took his dress shirt, tie and his shoes off and left them lying on the floor where he stood. Then he crept into bed and was fast asleep.