Character Rants- Lord of the Rings
Gandalf
All authors take notes....
I may be old but even this old wizard has some needs! How about more stories with me being the dashing hero who saves the day and gets the girl! I can be romantic! I can be courageous and perform death defying feats ... after I go to my chiropractor on Tuesdays!
Legolas
I am tired of being portrayed as a narcissus! I do not brush my hair 100 times a day or prance around the forests of Mirkwood! And there is nothing I repeat nothing going on between me and that...dwarf! So stop pairing me up with HIM! My love belongs to another! And contrary to popular belief I am not a gentle spirit! If you ever mess with my bow be prepared to have your head on a spit!
Aragorn
For the record, I had a nice, peaceful youth. There were no elflings around Rivendell to torment me about my ears or my non graceful ways...unless you count the twins. And I wish that you authors would stop getting me into life or death situations. I swear it's a warg attack one hour, followed by a tumble off a cliff then some poison that harms humans worse than elves, followed by earthquakes and blizzards. My health insurance doesn't cover all this!