The great hall was warm and cozy despite the rain and when Harry, Hermione and Ron sat at the Gryffindor table eating the deliciously prepared food, they were never more surprised when the heavy wooden doors slammed open.
The sorting hat and pre-feast speech by Dumbledore pleasantly dispensed with and after the "tucking in" began, no one was prepared for the sight that came through the doors.
Gasps and silence filled the hall as a woman, dressed from head to toe in black wearing periwinkle robes and a carrying a pair of wire rim glasses in her left hand, ran in.
"Goodness," she said looking around at all the students and blushing.
She rushed up to the staff table and looked at the headmaster and nervously smiled her long auburn hair, which for the majority of the day had been pinned up very carefully, flowing around her like a mane of auburn fire. "Headmaster," she said clearing her throat. As she approached Harry and Ron, who had completely forgotten about anything else in the room, they saw Professor Snape rise respectfully. From their vantagepoint they only saw the look on his face. When Ron moved slightly so that Hermione could see, she gasped seeing that he had been completely undone by her presence.
"Bloody hell!" Ron muttered to her in her ear. "He's looks like he's seen a ghost!"
"Language Ron. Be quiet." She answered as nearly everyone saw how affected he seemed to be.
She inclined her head towards him and the headmaster rose and began to speak as Professor Snape took his seat again.
"Everyone. There are a few more announcements besides the usual of course. Madame Pince after many years of devoted service, has indicated that she wishes to retire."
Ron rolled his eyes laughing to himself. "No more chasing us out of the library for breathing!" That got a sharp poke from Hermione who would rather listen to Dumbledore rather than to his sniggering at the retirement of their strict and bitter librarian.
"And as of the end of this month, Miss Alexandra MacAlister will be the new librarian and we are honored to have you amongst us here at Hogwarts. Miss MacAlister, if you could take your place at our table."
She turned around and smiled placing her glasses back on. "Sorry Headmaster, I was so enchanted by the books, I forgot the time. Pray forgive me, the collection is brilliant!"
That got a hearty laugh from Ron, and yet another smack from Hermione. "A woman after my best mate's heart. You two ought to get along."
She waved slightly and swept gracefully towards the seat next to Hagrid. He blushed terribly and looked at the astonished faces of his pack of rule breaking 6th years. Harry smiled back noticing she was laughing.
Her smile did not go unnoticed. It seemed that every male in the room seemed enchanted by the new librarian. Her smile was brilliant. Her manners were exceptionally polished save for the stray locks of red hair that trailed down her back.
Smiling over his half moon glasses the headmaster continued, "As you can see, there is nothing I like more than laughter. So much has been happening to cause sorrow and pain. Nothing delights me more than a good laugh. Now, also, Remus Lupin has returned to teach Defense against the dark arts. He had some private affairs to attend to," he said winking at Harry, Ron and Hermione, "and will arrive when classes begin. I must remind everyone, that these are dangerous times. No longer can we ignore the dangers of Lord Voldemort. We must stay united. Together we are strong, separated we become weak. And as a show of solidarity, I am announcing a Halloween Ball for third years and above. Prefects, we will allow you to plan accordingly. It will celebrate our unity. Now, as I know you all are still hungry, tuck in. And have a good year, despite the pouring rain."
Murmurs continued as the famous trio continued to observe the staff table. Professor McGonagal, Madame Hooch, Professor Dumbledore, Madame Pince and Professor Snape sat eating quietly chatting while the rest of the students resumed their well-deserved hot meal.
With a smile on her face, please at his choice in successors, Professor McGonagal asked Professor Dumbledore, "Albus, is it true that Miss MacAlister can help Poppy in the hospital wing? I remember her saying so earlier. Enchanting girl if I may say so."
"Yes Minerva. If I remember correctly, and Poppy you can remind me, she had fourteen O's in her N.E.W.T.s. She began when? Goodness, I have forgotten."
All the while, Hermione was watching the discussion at the staff table taking in as much as she could.
It was Snape that answered. "I was a sixth year when she started Hogwarts headmaster."
The trio, who had been eavesdropping, was stunned into silence. It was only when Seamus interrupted them by saying "Oi! Hello?" Did they turn around.
Shushed by nearly the entire table, they continued to listen unnoticed by the staff.
"Thank you Severus. I am getting old. Ah yes I remember now. Best N.E.W.T.s in years." He answered remembering. She didn't hear them as she was in conversation with Hagrid who remembered her the moment she walked into the room. "But I have no doubt her record is in serious jeopardy." Then he glanced towards Hermione and smiled. She blushed and looked around the table as all her friends sniggered.
Snape looked back down at his plate as her head stopped laughing at a joke that Hagrid told her. For a brief moment, she looked towards him and demurely smiled. He met her gaze only for a moment as if looking at her would sear his skin and continued to find something else to dominate his view.
None of this went unnoticed by Harry, Ron, and Hermione. And when the great hall had begun to empty and Ron and Hermione had begun to escort the first years to the dormitory did Hermione speak
"Hey you lot! Come on, up the stairs!" Ron said pushing the children passed him. At six foot three, he towered over them.
"This way, honestly Ron!" Hermione said rolling her eyes. "The new librarian is a lot different from Madame Pince."
"Right gorgeous is what she is! I've a feeling more than one of us'll be going up to the library now!" he said realizing he should have kept that bit quiet. "I feel the acute need to study, why is that you think?" to Harry who just laughed.
"Just because all of you lot are randy buggers is no reason to gawk at her. Did you hear Dumbledore? Fourteen O's on her N.E.W.T.s. Why do you think she's working for him, here? She could have any job!"
Harry chimed in as they reached the portrait. "Fizzing Whizbies," then they walked inside. "She's smart, and what a smile! Reminds me of pictures of my mum. Did you see Snape? Gawked at her like she was Venus."
"Yeah! She smiled at him and he went into a right puddle at the table. I could have sworn he blushed, Snape blushing, ugh! Mental that's what that is! That's as bad as Snape in a dress!" Reminded Ron as they sat in front of the fire.
"Could she be a part of the Order?" Harry said looking at the chessboard that Ron had set up.
"No, Snape would have known her and he was as surprised to see her as everyone else. Hit him right behind the knees, that's what she did."
Thinking back to the pensive, Harry remembered seeing his mother and father on the day that his father had taunted him. Red hair, alabaster skin, green eyes you could lose yourself in, and a brilliant, infectious smile. She reminded him so much of his mother, even though he had never actually remembered seeing her.
"I'm going to talk to her when I get a chance. A witch that intelligent can only help us! She may even be cool. She looks cool. Not uptight and stuffy."
Ron mused whether or not that deserved his thoughts. Not wanting another row with her he decided to keep his uptight comments to himself.
Alexandra MacAlister was settling in to her apartments as the clock struck ten. It was a Friday night, and she had the weekend to herself. At twenty-nine, she had made herself as smart as she could, and devoted herself to honing what talents she possessed to defeating Voldemort.
She knew that Hogwarts was the place to be for numerous reasons. Each year since Harry Potter had begun his tenure there, she knew that the dark lord had come to try and defeat him. She knew that when Professor Dumbledore asked her to join the fight, that she would do so with bells and whistles on. He had done so much for her that she would not fail him if he asked her to help him. He had saved her and kept her safe, he had been kind when she lost her parents.
Looking towards her window she smiled. Ever since she was a first year, she dreamed of returning to Hogwarts. She wanted to be among the books, the paintings, and the atmosphere of the only home she ever loved.
The only time she ever felt part of something, loved and cherished were within these walls. She felt whole where away from it she felt a longing and sadness. She unpacked her books, nearly three hundred and fifty, and neatly put them in the bookshelves transfigured to hold them.
The view from her window was breathtaking. The lake, even though the rain had pelted it, was beautiful and she had never felt so content.
She put the photograph of her parents on the nightstand and smiled, sadly. They had died when she had started second year. Voldemort had killed them in the same manner that she killed the Potters. Alone and orphaned, she craved the safety of Hogwarts.
She laid down on the soft and inviting bed and drifted to sleep, thinking that there was nothing in the world that she would rather be doing than preserving the knowledge that helped her survive a terrible time in her life. And being a part of the army of witches and wizards to fight. And to be close to those who she thought had forgotten.
Severus Snape walked the halls just after midnight, as he tried to contemplate why Dumbledore had recruited Alexandra MacAlister to a position at Hogwarts. He remembered her just as she was a ginger haired girl with pig-tales and wire rims, not really forgetting how she would look at him. Like she knew his secrets.
Holding a taper and walking towards his rooms he barely notice the willowy figure dressed in a white dressing gown and wrapper floating down the hallway. Hauntingly silent, she moved completely shielded by the darkness and shadow. He rubbed his eyes and wondered what was going on. Was he tired, yes? He knew that. Was he worried about the dark lord, assuredly? Did he think his eyes were playing tricks on him, definitely?
The scent of jasmine and sandalwood drifted towards him. Putting out the candle he ducked behind a statue and watched as she passed him without interference. Her long deep hair flowed down her back like cascades of deep fire and her arms were serenely at her sides. A sigh escaped her as she passed him and his feelings of discontent seemed to dissipate. No prefects would be patrolling at that hour assuredly. He couldn't let her be seen. It would not be appropriate.
He hoped no one would be in the hallway. She must be sleepwalking, ghostlike down the halls. He muttered to himself, do I follow? Prudence and decorum screamed no! But he couldn't seem to help himself. He wandered behind her watching her bare feet touch the cool marble floors as she swept passed the last of the stair cases before the staff quarters. Such dainty feet.
He bit his hand watching her; struck by the ethereal quality she let envelop her. He sighed quietly as he watched her retreat back into her room and closed the door. He looked at his pocket watch; it was precisely one in the morning. The overwhelming urge to finally sleep had suddenly gripped him so hard that he barely made it to his quarters before sinking fully clothed into his bed asleep, all the while feeling so much more at ease than when he first started his silent reverie.
Classes began that next Monday, and many students had already availed themselves use of the library. Madame Pince, a fixture still, chided and harangued those unruly students who couldn't keep themselves quiet. It was only when she would retire for the day did the rules seem to be a little relaxed. From five until ten each night, Miss MacAlister would assume her role as matron of the books.
Hermione found that she was not only beautiful, but also witty as they chatted about anything and everything. Her intelligence gained by simply asking her questions, was eaten up by her best friends. After this, Harry and Ron seemed infatuated with her all the more.
"Hello, Ron? Harry? Honestly, you both are prats. Did you know that her parents were one of the first murdered by Voldemort?"
They snapped out of their gazes to look at her knowing the pain. "Oh, listening now are you?" she said rolling her eyes. "She was in second year. During the Christmas break. They nearly killed her but she ran into the streets and hid underneath a car."
"She's muggle born?" Ron said incredulously.
"Aren't all the brilliants ones born that way? Of course she's muggle born." She answered continuing. "Dumbledore saved her. Scooped her up and took her to a safe place. You won't believe with whom she's lived with all these years. Guess, I dare you."
Harry looked at Ron, who looked at Harry clueless. "Do we know this person?"
"Yes." She answered crossing her arms against her chest.
"A clue would be nice Moine." Ron said rolling his eyes.
Hermione smiled standing up. She leaned over and assumed a very awkward walking position. She pantomimed a walk none of them would forget, the gait unmistakable.
"No!" Watching her pretend to have a wooden leg and a very special eye. "Mad Eye Moody! You're not kidding! Living with Mad Eye Moody all those years. Woah."
She was reading a book, smiling as she touched the pages. Rising, she looked at her pocket watch, one that looked a great deal older than something someone of her age would have, and walked towards them. "Hermione, are these your friends?"
"Yes Miss MacAlister, this is Ron Weasley, and Harry Potter." She said as both boys rose and shook her hand. Ron was immediately red, which caused her to smile broadly and Harry looked at her the same way Snape had the other night, with a quiet reverence of a woman who had been snatched from him so long ago.
"You play a smashing game of Quidditch!" She said as both boys bashfully said Thank you. They all burst into laughter at that.
"I remember your mother Harry. She was a good kind soul. No one misses her more than you do. But I understand what it felt like to lose someone so dear. You are lucky to have such good friends. It's time for you lot to get going. I would like to get some sleep. It was lovely meeting you, I hear you have a penchant for trouble. A fact that I find smashing! Go get lost!" she said playfully shooing them out of the library.
As midnight approached and the halls fell silent, Severus Snape looked at his watch. Every night since her arrival, she walked the floors for exactly one hour. And every night, he followed her like a moth to a flame, drawn to her.
He remembered her, sitting under a tree by the lake, alone and reading a book, wire rim glasses on the edge of her nose. She looked at him when he would walk haunted by his past, or tormented by the famous Marauders. She would look at him and her bright smile would fade and his ire and discontent would fade for a few moments, and her smile would return and he would be on his way again, her face etched in his mind for hours.
What did she do to him? She silently acknowledged his pain as her own and let it pass away from him. He knew her certainly from the news of her parents' murder. Nothing was secret at Hogwarts. She was always kind to him, even when he was at his worst. She knew my secrets.
At precisely one o'clock, her door would close and she would return to her rooms undisturbed.
During the day, she was affable, and quiet, her hair pulled back in a tight bun and her glasses snug on her delicate nose. But he seemed to like this unabashed specter more than the bookish librarian he looked at covertly during the day.
He was walking down the hall one day as the last of his classes let out when she, having her nose in a book bumped hard into him. Surrounded by students, he was embarrassed and said harshly, "Miss MacAlister, please watch where you are going."
He picked up her book, and returned it to her, but not before her hand grazed his. "I am so sorry Professor Snape, forgive my clumsiness." She said looking up into his deep black eyes. Her emerald green ones, peering over the glasses smiled as they did so long ago.
"Severus. My name is Sev-"he said instantly flushing. Students had stopped to look at the exchange and he stammered. "Do any of you have something you should be doing rather than causing a fire hazard. Disburse!"
But when he turned around to finish his sentence, she was gone.
Part 2
He walked towards the dungeon mortified that anyone had seen him stumble over his words. It had been a great many years since someone had done that and his mood had soured quickly.
What was wrong with him? He was short with her and had no right to be.
Muttering quietly to himself, he thought thank merlin Potter and that know it all Granger didn't see me.
He slammed the door to the dungeon and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. No one had made him so uneasy since, the days in seventh year. He looked around at the room. His domain, where he was master. Nothing would make him feel insecure there. He took to the task of rearranging his potions, something that he did when his thoughts would plague him. Griffyndor and Slytherin had double potions with him the next day and he needed to make sure they were all in order. He didn't want anything to cause him to falter, not with Potter and his friends to watch.
At twenty minutes passed five, a third year Ravenclaw arrived for his detention. The boy had melted his cauldron for the second time in a week, something Professor Snape wouldn't allow. Even Neville Longbottom had improved from his strictness.
Without looking up from his text, Snape spoke, "Mr. Prentice, at least you are punctual. Let us see if paying attention to detail can improve your skills during class. Deliver this to Miss MacAlister in the library. Then return here and begin scrubbing the desks."
The small piece of folded parchment read, in neat letters,
Ms. MacAlister,
I require the following three books. If you could, kindly have them delivered to me when you have the time.
S. Snape
Medicinal Potions and their Use in Practical Battlefield Triage
Dark Wizards of the 8th Century.
And a personal request. The Memoirs of Annais Sinclair, 1654.
The boy, so frightened by Snape's abrupt manner, ran so fast that the Potion's master barely heard him. Once alone again, he thoughts began to wander. He may have actually sighed.
"It's to be expected Severus." Professor Dumbledore said walking quietly into the room.
"Headmaster." He said rising out of respect.
"Sit, sit. I didn't mean to disturb you. But you do seem unusually preoccupied this evening. As you have been most nights." He answered walking towards the black board.
"I am fine." He answered looking away. He knows.
"Really, you must see Poppy, she could give you a sleeping draught. It might help. I myself have had little rest since the beginning of the school year. And I fear, we may not have much more in the coming months." He said in his calm, serene voice.
"What is?" he dared to ask. He had risen to begin writing the instructions on the board.
"Being near her again. You always felt so much but showed little. That has never changed." He said walking around the classroom, running his hands on the desks where Harry, Ron and Hermione sat. "When you were troubled, she could tell, even as young as she was. She always worried, even after you left. But you wouldn't have remembered that."
He looked back to him, staring not into his eyes, but at the lenses in the half moon glasses that he wore.
"How could she? We barely spoke. She was a Gryffindor, and a child." He said feeling exposed. He knows that she could see.
"Ah, the lack of house unity. Little has changed over the years. Did it matter? I would not presume to know how she felt. What I did know is that she would be very useful when the time came, and now is that time."
Snape looked at him with renewed interest. He was going to be told what her presence here represented. "Useful? In what way?" he asked resuming his ritual of rearranging the bottles of ingredients.
"She is a special woman Severus, but that I think you already know. You knew her as a child, and how special she was. But there are many things you do not know. But, I am old, and that is for her to tell you. She has always worried about you. That has not changed."
"Will she be helping Madame Pomfrey in the hospital wing?" he said trying to make out what the hidden meaning was.
"Yes, among other things. And also for the order, but she is safest here at Hogwarts." He answered his eyes lowered.
"Is she in danger?" he asked answering his own question. "Ah, being muggle born. I had forgotten. She is in as much danger as Ms. Granger I suppose."
"Much, more Severus. Because of what she is." He answered as the young Ravenclaw ran back in sheet white. "But I see that I have indeed disturbed you. I shall see you soon."
He watched as Dumbledore walked gracefully out. "Good evening headmaster." He said glaring at Daniel Prentice as if the only thing on his mind was murder. "You! Scrub!"
Up in the library, where in the evenings, more students came to study (no doubt because the repressive Madame Pince was noticeably absent); Hermione was working on her potions essay. Ron, who had been staring at her, obviously not studying, had taken to unconsciously trace little circles on the hard wood of the table, daydreaming. She noticed his placid gaze, a comfortable lazy smile crossing his lips.
Taking out her notes, she asked, "Ron?"
"Hmm." He said continuing his ministrations on the table.
She smiled mischievously and looked at Harry who tried not to laugh across the table. Busying himself with his parchment, he watched as the impish Hermione began to emerge.
"What do you think of this?" she asked as she began to show him her homework.
"Brilliant." He said with a sigh. His dark blue eyes were glazed as if he was in a world of his own.
"Thank you, I always knew you wanted to snog me senseless." She replied smiling as innocently as a babe, rubbing her foot across the side of his leg.
"Hmm." He said again glassy eyed and smiling. "Huh? What?" he said straightening up and coming to he senses again.
"I asked, does this make sense?" she said still holding the parchment in her hands, looking as if she had not a care in the world. But Ron knew better. And with Harry's uproarious laughter to betray her he shouted at him.
"Very funny Harry." He was livid. Not only were his ears red, but his face and neck matched perfectly.
"Come on Ron, you had to admit, that was funny." He asked laughing so hard that even Miss MacAlister had to shush them.
Ron got his books, slung his bag over his shoulder and left in a huff.
Trying her best not to smile, Hermione said, "I had better go and apologize. He's so tired, and such an easy target. But merlin, wasn't that fun?"
Harry smiled as his two best friends went off. The day they would realize that they were mad for each other couldn't come soon enough.
It was after 8 when Harry returned to the Common Room. Ron was seated on the sofa, hands stuffed in his pockets staring off into the fire, and Hermione was reading a book, a deathly silence between them.
Everyone in Gryffindor knew about their rows and none had stayed around to find out the cause of this one. They were alone, and both scowled like children.
"Hello? Are we still not speaking?" he asked standing between the two of them.
Ron who was still red faced and thoroughly fed up said, "She's a.... girl!" for lack of saying anything better. An absolutely gorgeous girl. Bloody Hell, I'm a randy prat!
"That's obvious Ron. She's got legs, arms, and br—"he began to say but was interrupted by Hermione. With the nearly finished sentence Ron's ears reddened again. He groaned in response. Growled was more like it.
"I tried to apologize Harry, but that big prat wouldn't listen." She said looking back at the same page she had tried to read for the last two hours.
"Apologize? Lecture me is more like it. Falling asleep in the library? Bloody Hell!"
She stood first, then he stood. In seconds they were toe to toe, with him towering over her. He stared down at her, she up at him. It was war. "Hello? Remember me, your other best mate? I just saw something pretty interesting in the library and Ron; yes Hermione is all girl. And yes, Mione, Ron can "doze" in the library. Face it as facts of life. Now, apologize and get it over with."
"What?" both said incredulously.
"Yes, or wait until I leave the room and kiss each other already. Merlin knows you need it. Do it or I won't tell you what happened to our mild mannered librarian upstairs..." he said with his hands folded neatly across his chest.
Rather than cross that bridge, neither of them wanted to at the prodding of their best friend. Both said sorry under their breaths.
"Excuse me? I didn't hear that." He said a little louder, holding his hand to his ear.
"Sorry, Mione. I'm just tired." He admitted as he put his arms around her waist. God she feels good, so soft and perfect. Hmmm.
"Sorry Ron, I was a prat." She admitted resting her head against his chest and inhaling the scent she had come to crave. My... his heart is beating awfully fast, he smells soooooo good. Merlin I'm perverted.
Harry cleared his throat. "If you two need a few more moments, I can leave the room. Or can I continue?"
They broke apart as if touching electric wire. Blushing furiously they sat on the couch and watched as an excited Harry sat on the cushioned chair. "She got a note from Snape."
"NO! You're kidding!" Hermione shouted excitedly grabbing a hold of Ron's thigh, completely unconsciously. Ron's eyebrow went up as his pulse quickened. Her hand is on my thigh. He even gulped, unnoticed by her.
"He requested some books. You should have seen the Ravenclaw who delivered the note. He was so upset that he could barely speak."
"Oh, come on Harry, what happened next?" Hermione asked her back so straight that Ron thought it would snap if she tried to move.
"She sighed," He said triumphantly. "And she smiled. Did I tell you that I could look at her smile all.day.long?"
Hermione crumbled into a lovesick puddle next to Ron, sighing in solidarity. Her hand relaxed against the fabric of his pant leg and she put her other hand to her breast.
"I knew it." She said as she looked at Harry.
"Knew what?" Ron asked not really having a clue, all he knew was that one of her hands was on his thigh and the other was on one of her breasts. Merlin, I'm a randy bastard.
"She fancies Professor Snape. Honestly Ron. A note! How gloriously romantic."
"Oi Mione, you melt into girly puddles over a note? He was requesting books for Merlin's sake. How can you get all gooey over that? Ugh, Snape, romantic in the same sentence, that's a mental image that'll scar anyone!" That image alone is worse than Snape in a dress, ok randiness averted.
Harry rolled his eyes, along with Hermione. Clueless. Utterly clueless. Harry thought. "I'm going to bed. It's the weekend tomorrow, and double potions. I think sleep might be yawn just what I need."
"G'night Harry." Hermione said to him as she watched him up the stairs.
She looked down at her watch and noticed that it was nearly nine o'clock. Time for their patrols. They would have midnight patrols over the weekend and she wanted to get them finished as soon as possible so she could contemplate the intelligence she had just been given.
"Come on." She said urging him to move.
"What?" he asked almost struck by the question. Merlin, I-- oh hell.
"We have patrols, it's nine." She told him as she moved her foot from underneath her.
He grabbed hold of the wrist, the one that had of its own volition remained on his leg. "Hermione." He said low and looking right at her. For several moments all they could hear was the crackle of the fireplace.
"Ronald." She answered.
"Notes, girls get all you know, 'girly' over them?" he asked a lopsided grin crossing his face.
"Among---other things..." she answered compelled to stare at his mouth. He had his other arm around her waist, and for the moment she couldn't remember how they got there. She was breathing a little quicker now. Boy it's getting a little warm in here.
She was so close to him, turning to face him her knees, bare touched the outside of his thigh, causing him to groan inwardly. Her hips snug against his chest made her seem taller, but in truth she was just the right size. God, she is going to kill me. Skirt, bare knees, knickers, God I need to move...
"That's good to know." He stammered looking into her eyes liquid pools of chocolate. "I'm sorry about earlier."
He moved closer to her. Her face was inches from his and she couldn't breathe. "I'm sorry too." I can't breathe. I simply can't breathe, I should move, really, he's my best mate. I—what am I thinking! Merlin's he's perfect.
"For what? Saying you want me to snog you? What was it, senseless?" he said the barest of whispers against her ear. A smile crossed his lips that was so seductive she didn't even need to see it, she knew it. He looked at her then, his eyes a deep lustful blue.
"No, silly, for letting Harry hear it." She said smiling back at him as she played the hair on the nape of his neck. Not there Mione, I won't be able to stop myself, Merlin, that is so good.
"Ah, I see. Are all you girls this randy?" he said smiling.
"Hmmm." Using his same response as earlier. The he realized she was doing the same motions on his neck that he was doing on the table and smiled. Mione, no fair, merlin not my neck... He could feel her heart beating against his chest and her sharp intake of air when his embrace pulled her closer to him. His strong arms encircled her and she felt a safety and such a need to be there that she didn't care what else happened.
"Patrols Ron." She whispered in his ear, softly, teasingly.
"Yes, Patrols. Hmmm." He responded rubbing his cheek against hers.
"What.are.we.doing?" she whispered again her lips actually touching his ear. If she, merlin, I'm done for now. No, not the ear Mione, I beg you.
He couldn't help but groan as she sighed and ran her fingers through his hair so softly that he would have done just about anything to...
"Apologizing." He said trying to breathe. Her hair smelled like lavender. Her hand, touched his hair sent tingles down his spine and warmed him in places he hoped she wouldn't discover. Yet...
Breathlessly, as her cheek touched his, "We.really.need.to.patrol." she said looking at him. His eyes were closed and he looked as if he needed to take a deep breath. "Ron?"
His eyes opened lazily and he turned to her, their lips inches apart. "Do you want to kiss me?" she asked.
God yes! I have for ages! "Um, do you want me to kiss you?" he said suddenly unsure of himself.
Too quickly she said, "Merlin, for ages now!" I did NOT just say that out loud! Good God Hermione get a hold of yourself.
Blushing furiously she looked down and he took her chin in his hand. He lowered his lips towards her, like he had dreamed it so many times before. I'm finally going to kiss Hermione!
Bloody Hell! He groaned.
The portrait door opened at the exact moment his dreams would have fulfilled and a group of 5th years ran in just missing the curfew. Hermione jumped off the couch like she'd hit a live wire and attempted to not look guilty. Facing the fire, she did her best to look as if she was deep in thought.
Her face was hot, her cheeks the color of Ron's hair were hidden by her hands, and she stood stock still looking away. She desperately hoped that no one noticed how completely undone she was. Bloody hell! I should give them all detention, useless irresponsible, prats!
Once the herd had passed, she attempted to move. Having composed herself as best she could she turned to face Ron, who looked pained at the loss of the intimacy they had just shared, or near intimacy.
They were shocked into reality by the presence of Professor McGonagal who stood in the midst of the Common room shouting at those who had tried to elude her.
"Ms. Granger, Mr. Weasley, I do believe you have patrols. Get, go on." She said shooing them out the portrait hole.
"Yes, professor." They both told her staring at each in utter disbelief.
Part 3
The dungeon was warm, despite the fact that it looked cold and foreboding. It was the beginning of October, and classes went on as usual, without so much as a peep from Voldemort. He filled in as best he could for Professor Lupin, who as far as the students knew was still unwell, but he knew that he was on a secret mission for the order. He was due to return in a week's time so his private moments were limited. The past few weeks had been pressing on him and he knew that he wasn't going to be able to keep the pace up.
The rain pelted the windows as the afternoon grew later. Professor Snape sat behind his desk staring out into it feeling content to savor the warmth of the fire. His tea sat beside him, steaming when he watched the students begin to file in. He closed his eyes for a moment dreading the afternoon. Gryffindor and Slytherin. His own house shamed him. But then again, he didn't set a very good example either. His revulsion for Potter was so acute he couldn't let it go. But before he thought about it further, he looked up and saw them coming. He wanted the day to be over. He needed to rest. He was short and had been for days. Sitting at his desk through lunch, he seriously considered Professor Dumbledore's suggestion for a sedative.
He watched the unholy trio walk in, Ms. Granger flanked by her two co-conspirators Potter and Weasley. Memories flooded back to the days he remembered all too well when another Potter flanked another very special girl. Once they had all taken their seats, he spoke putting down his cup of tea and walking towards the blackboard.
His eyes scanned the room, watching Malfoy and his cronies sneer at Granger. She ignored them while Weasley leered menacingly at them. He raised his voice as he spoke, "This afternoon, barring any further disruptions," he continued as Pansy Parkinson sauntered in late, again. "Ten points from Slytherin, Ms. Parkinson for your tardiness. Now, if I may continue, we will be discussing and preparing a complex restorative draught. Can anyone," he said rolling his eyes at Hermione's upraised hand, "aside from Ms. Know-it-all, give me the benefits of such a potion?"
Silence. A very unsteady hand raised behind Potter disrupting his patience, already thinned by lack of sleep, constant worry and agitation. Neville Longbottom looked as if he was going to run and hide. He raised an eyebrow as he walked towards him. Interesting he thought.
"Today, would be nice Mr. Longbottom."
"Uh," he stammered, "It enable whomever is the recipient is, to uh, have the ability to... In a blood restorative potion, to alleviate blood loss, saving the life of the victim. In a strength-restoring potion, it replaces depleted resources within the body that may have been loss also to sickness or injury. Both sir, can save your life."
Neville looked as if he had just given birth. His face was pale and he was sweating. He stared, astonished that he had finally acquired some courage, but was more surprised at the answer.
"Well Mr. Longbottom, I see you can do something other than melt cauldrons. 20 points to Gryffindor for that answer. I want," he started slowly getting louder to quell the groans from the students in his own house and continued as the class stared in disbelief at Neville.
Neville was just as stunned. Never in his tenure at Hogwarts had Snape ever acknowledged him for anything other than a mistake. Hermione looked up starting to say something when Ron clamped his hand on hers under the table to silence her. This was Neville's moment. His eyes looked at her pleadingly as she looked back down at the desk.
"You to copy the following, and I want two feet of parchment on the properties and benefits of this strengthening draught. You will have the afternoon to prepare the potion and until Wednesday to complete the assignment. That will be all.
In a grand sweeping motion he returned to the head of the classroom and back to his desk where the stares of everyone present burned into him. Most affected besides Neville was Malfoy, who after the loss of house points due to Pansy's lateness just felt like someone stabbed him in the back.
Ron, who had not removed his hand from hers, looked back at him, smiling. Maybe Potions isn't going to be that bad after all.
While they chopped, Hermione smiled at Neville. She smiled at Seamus, she smiled at Harry, but when she would look at Ron, she blushed furiously and looked away.
Girls are mental. It's just Hermione...snap out of it.
Hermione was uncomfortable. Her stomach had flipped not once but twice when Ron's hand had grabbed hers, and felt warm and she couldn't seem to sit still once he had kept it there. Nervously she would steel glances from him when he wasn't looking, and while she was helping Neville, he would stare at her exposed wrist and graceful fingers nearly groaning out loud.
Nothing had been said concerning the "apology" leaving them both acutely unsatisfied. He had contemplated writing her a note, but thought if it were intercepted, he never hear the end of it. Inwardly he groaned, he had been in love with her for ages and wanted nothing more than to grab her and snog her senseless. Outside of quiet murmurs, no one spoke in class. They all knew Snape well enough to see his mood was sour.
Hermione wrote on a piece of parchment sliding it to Ron.
-Is he sick? He doesn't look well.
Ron wrote back.
-Are you mental? He's Snape; he always looks like that. Are you ok?
She looked at him. He looked at her. She slid the paper to him never losing his gaze.
-We didn't finish apologizing. I'm sorry.
-Are you wanting to apologize to me?
He gave her his best lopsided smile, and winked.
-Prat.
-Tease.
-We have patrols tonight don't we? Apologize to me then.
He raised an eyebrow and she flashed him a brilliant smile. He figured that Potions was definitely his favorite class today and nothing outside of Voldemort would dampen his mood.
At precisely 4 o'clock, Snape rose from his desk, having said all of about ten words in the last hour, and began to inspect the cauldrons one by one. "If you have properly brewed this potion, the liquid in your cauldron should be a brilliant blue, the shade most consistent with the color of the sky."
He neared Neville, who silently prayed he would not have those house points removed for brewing it incorrectly. He closed his eyes and continued to worry when Snape stated plainly, "Ah, Mr. Longbottom, I see you are finally paying attention- 10 points for not melting your cauldron, again."
Malfoy's jaw dropped. His eyes narrowed and his scowl was unmistakable. How could his head of house award 30 points to his enemy?
A knock interrupted his inspection where he saw the look on Malfoy's face. "Mr. Malfoy, if you please." He said resuming his task. He walked to Hermione's table where all three were a perfect blue. His face still a mask of scowling walked towards Seamus whose potion resembled a pastel shade of lavender. "Bottle up and label your samples and place them on the table. Turn to page 354 and begin reading. Silently." He said his voice reverberating.
The door opened and Professor Snape, who had his back turned adjusting the samples, had no idea who had entered but from the gasps and mutterings of his students, spun around.
She looked at him but didn't speak. Malfoy announced her feeling as if he were more privileged than the rest. But she smiled and he stammered embarrassed as the others stared. "P-Professor, Ms. MacAlister is here to see you."
She stood at the entrance to the dungeon, hair neatly tied in a sever bun at the back of her head, her wire rim glasses perched on the end of her nose. Her robes were black, her dress a vintage black with violet stitching. She glided down the aisle towards him books in her hand.
"I am sorry if I am intruding, but I have the books you requested. I do hope they could be of help." She said softly sweeping past Crabbe and Goyle then Pansy Parkinson who could do nothing but sneer at her.
Hermione was beaming. Jealously was normally an ugly thing, but she smiled brilliantly. Ron, who had also seen the green-eyed monster biting Pansy looked at Hermione and his breath caught in his chest. His eyes didn't leave her even when her face followed the librarian to the head of the class.
Snape was behind his desk. He leaned forward on the dais and put his hands on either side trying to not seem too surprised. He leaned back and resumed his stance against it, "Ms. McAlester, by no means are you intruding. We have just finished our lesson. I am glad they were not so difficult to find."
The bell rang and the class began to pack up. The day was finally over. Relief washed over all, including the professor. Hermione looked at Neville, and gave him a thumbs up, as did Seamus, Dean and Harry. Ron continued to glare at Malfoy who cursed him under his breath. Neville grabbed his bag and was the first one out. He didn't want to take any chances on losing those precious house points.
Ron noticed that Hermione was slowly packing her things, a fact that didn't go unnoticed by Harry either. "Mione, let's go." He said tugging at her robes. Leaning against the crook of her neck as she stared at the teachers talking. He whispered, "Let's. GO."
Whining a little, she whispered back dreamily, "Look, How—aw. Can't you see?" she said as Harry grabbed her bags and Ron escorted her out by the arm. All Ron needed at that moment was a romantic Hermione puddle.
"I'm glad. I just wanted to apologize for yesterday. I have a nasty habit of getting absorbed in things. I've always had that problem. Here are your books Professor. I won't-"
"Stop, if you please. I also wanted to say something about yesterday. I was tired and didn't mean to be short with you." He took the books from her hands and placed them on the table.
"You are who you are. I understood it then and I understand it now, better in fact." She said crossing towards the back of the desk. "You look tired Severus. You need more sleep. And you look troubled, more than usual."
"I am fine Ms. MacAlister. I thank you again for the books." He said turning towards his cabinets.
"Lexi, you always called me that, but I guess you have forgotten all about me." She said looking at the back of his head. "You never could lie to me. And you haven't gotten any better since you left."
He turned to her. She looked sad, "Rest Severus. You need to sleep. Voldemort will wait. Promise me, you'll rest. And this is the personal book you requested. I found it reassuring myself." She said sweeping passed him and out the door, the scent of her hair assaulting his sense again.
"I remember." He said as she walked out of the room and down the hall.
By the time Neville reached the common room, Nearly everyone in Gryffindor had heard of his triumph in Potions. It wasn't every day that Neville was noticed for something good and in all the years they had Snape, it was the very first time that they had been awarded house points for it.
"This is better than anything!" Neville shouted as roaring applause assaulted his ears.
Passing Dean and Seamus who had erected a banner declaring Neville a hero, Neville looked at Hermione who sat contented and pleased sitting on the couch.
"Hermione, thanks for giving me that book on medical potions for my birthday. I can't think of anything better!" he told her as impulsively gave her a peck on her cheek.
Ron rose and stood up menacingly but watched, as Neville, realizing what he had done, laughed so hard he nearly fell over. Within seconds Ron was laughing too, while Harry came down looking rather pleased with himself.
"As a measure of appreciation for his efforts to prove us all wrong, I hereby allow Neville, on promise of not breaking it in any way, the use of my firebolt for one evening of glorious flying." Harry announced to a cacophony of applause.
"This is better than Christmas!" Neville announced as Ginny handed him a butterbeer.
She winked at Harry who was feeling so good he didn't care about the glare he got from Ron. For the first time since he arrived, and been so bereft of Sirius, he laughed and smiled as if nothing else mattered.
Seamus clapped Neville on the back, "30 points from Snape! He must be ill."
"Git!" Ron said smacking him behind his head. "Shut it."
Ron and Harry played chess while Hermione excused herself, owing to having to do "girly" things.
"When did she become a girl?" Ron asked as his knight took Harry's Queen, again.
"She's always been a girl, but I think for you, maybe at the Yule Ball in fourth year. Breast, legs, lips; they all have the same effect. Can't you see them all around you?" Harry asked smiling wickedly.
"Yeah, but Mione. You have no idea." He said as she walked down the stairs in muggle clothes. Her hair wasn't frizzy, it looked sleek and her curls were pinned up slightly away from her face.
She shook her head. "Typical! Aren't you going to change? Today is Friday. Remember, the weekend?"
But Ron couldn't form a single thought in his head. He couldn't help but stare. She wore a powder blue blouse, which rested just above her waist and low-rise beige cargo pants and trainers. Even Harry at this point, stared. Bloody hell, breasts, hips, and legs. Merlin.
"Are you quite finished?" she asked waving her hand in front of their faces. She leaned over towards Ron, who sat his fingers still holding the chess piece. The scent of Lavender assaulted him as she put her lips so close to his ear that he could barely breathe. "We have to eat you know. Food? You remember, that thing that goes in.your.mouth?"
He slowly closed his eyes and gulped so loudly Harry looked at him. Both ears were so read you couldn't distinguish them from his hair. She continued her lips lightly touching his ear, "Never knew food could make you so red."
She leaned back up and began to congratulate Neville only smiling at Ron; the impish Hermione had returned. He vaulted the low table and bolted up the stairs, Harry not far behind him.
Neville, still basking in the glow of having a good day in potions asked Hermione. "Hey, what did you say to Ron?"
"Just reminded him that dinner is in fifteen minutes." She answered smiling.
"Oh, right! Ron and his appetite, insatiable that one is!" Neville answered as he smiled several 4th years winking at him.
"I certainly hope so." She answered her grin very deviant. Merlin, I'm a pervert.
If apologizing had been on his mind during potions, thinking about patrols during dinner was much worse. She smiled; she flirted, and laughed making him fantasize about her mouth and what he'd like to do to it with every bite he took. Everything she said he perverted.
Several times he actually had to close his eyes. I cannot take much more of this. I'm a randy bastard.
"Hermione pass the potatoes will ya?" he asked staring at her perfect mouth.
"Sure, are you still hungry?" she asked looking at him while smiling.
"Starving." He answered smiling back. He was getting to enjoy this banter between them. He hoped that it would become a habit.
The entire mean went from one entree to the next, the banter, the staring and accidental touches continued. He vowed he'd never let her sit across from him only next to him for the rest of their lives. He watched her laugh, smile, and steel glances at him. Devouring her with ever image.
Dinner was over and she knew that she had to say something to him regarding the previous night. He was nervous, she could tell, and so was she no matter how funny she thought the whole exchange was. "We need to talk, take a walk with me to the library."
His heart sunk. She is going to ruin a perfectly brilliant day. "Sure." He said his smile fading. He knew it. It was too good to be true. She thought they were a mistake.
No she doesn't. She's your best mate. Merlin, no, she just wants to be friends now. I can't do that. I don't want to do that. Bloody hell.
"Harry, have fun with Neville." She said as she led him away from the great hall.
He walked like a man condemned. Up the stairs, towards the room she felt most comfortable in he knew it. Knew she was going to crush him. Towards their favorite table, off from the main room, she led him. Dead man walking.
"Ron," she said sitting next to him rather than across.
He closed his eyes as he sat down. He was wearing his Chudley Cannons T-shirt and a deep blue jumper. His hair was as usual was a mess, but one she loved. She moved a stray hair from out of her way so she could see his deep blue eyes. They looked sad.
"You don't have to say anything. I know." He said dejected. "We've been friends for ages. I understand."
He looked away. She bit her lip in response. "Know what Ron?"
He had to say it, even if she wouldn't. "That I fancy you. That I think about you constantly and don't care if you don't feel the same way."
"You're so stupid. How do you figure that?" she asked putting her hand on his cheek to make him look at her.
"Because, I'm a randy pervert and all I want to do is touch you at any given moment." He said blushing furiously. "And because since we're best mates, and have been forever, I thought that you were just being well, girly."
"I am being girly Ron because in case you haven't noticed, I am a girl." She said looking at how he sat. His legs were on either side of hers and his arm traced circles on the table.
"Yeah, I noticed that, a while back. Real girly. Down to the pink toe polish on your feet."
He couldn't look at her. He didn't dare. She was killing him. Just say it and get over it. "I"
"Need to kiss me before I explode." She answered for him. "I meant what I said the other night. I was just, well scared. We've been friends for ages and I didn't want to ruin that but I can't seem to feel anything without feeling this way. I don't understand..." she rambled.
He stopped the torture and when his hands cupped her face. His lips softly, carefully touched hers. Brilliant.
As she looked back up at him, he smiled. "You have no idea how long I have wanted to do that." He admitted running his thumb down her cheek.
"You're telling me. I was thinking you'd never get around to it. I thought I'd given you enough of a hint at the Yule ball."
They both laughed. "Really?" He asked giving her a lopsided smile.
"Really. Honestly, you are so clueless about girls." She told him moving his bangs out of his face.
"You tortured me all through dinner you know."
"Yes, and I have to admit, it was fun. What now?"
He kissed her again, playfully this time, but now wanting to attract any attention. Their tongues dueled one another leaving them breathless. "You know, I could really get used to that." She said smiling.
"Go to the Halloween ball with me. And everything else." He said looking at her intently.
"Everything else as in?" she replied as he answered her.
"Everything else. No one else. I won't share you." He announced. "Be mine."
"Wow." She gasped putting her hand to her mouth, the lips that he had just kissed.
"What?" he asked feeling embarrassed.
"That was better than a note." She said throwing her arms around him.
"Really? Look, a little Hermione puddle all for me. So you will?"
"Be your girlfriend? Absolutely." She answered kissing him again.
"Brilliant."
Part 4
The halls were quiet at ten when Alexandra walked from the library towards the staff quarters. She was tired but it felt good to be needed. Her mind was troubled with thoughts of Severus. He was wearing down and he was avoiding her, but not entirely. She knew he watched her from a distance. She could feel him. Empathic abilities were gifts as well as curses. Even as a child she could feel and influence emotion. Just as she had done the many times he felt her near, reading a book by the lake. Her heart would break to see him, to feel his pain. And if for brief moments she could alleviate his suffering she would do it to see peace on his face.
Dumbledore had asked her to return because it was becoming too dangerous to remain out in the world, even the magical world. The added bonus was that she would finally be useful, and near old friends. She was glad to help, and knew that she would be safe within these walls. She would be a powerful ally for the Order and also help with a special project he was intent on giving her.
She went to her cauldron, which had been brewing since dinner. She poured the mixture into a flask and secured it. She changed into muggle jeans and a shirt and put a pair of trainers on. She pulled her hair down and tied it behind her ears and closed the door.
He was looking out of the window at nothing. The memoirs of Anaiis Sinclair sat open in front of him unread. He only had a few more hours to go. Then he could drop. Where there were no students, nothing but solitude.
He didn't hear her come in, no one came to the dungeons that late. His wand was out. "What are you doing here?" he snapped.
"Looking for the Potions Master." She said walking down the aisle.
"You look like a student." He said rising.
"I'll take that as a compliment. I'm nearly 30." She said holding something behind her back.
"You always looked young." He answered holding his hand out to a Queen Anne chair. "Sit, if you like. What do you want?" he said his mood no better.
"For you to drink this. I've been brewing it since dinner. It will help you sleep." She said handing him the flask.
"I appreciate your effort but I'm fine." He answered removing his robe and sitting at his desk again. He wore a pair of slacks, and a black shirt with a coat and vest.
"And as I've said before you're a terrible liar."
"I can't take it. As much as I want to. I'm needed to make sure no mischief is afoot." He answered desperately wanting to rest.
"That's what we have prefects for." She answered getting up and looking at the board.
"Weasley and Granger are on tonight." He added.
"Yes, lovely couple aren't they? New found love, it's so rare to find it these days." She said breathlessly. "They are easy to read. True love, so pure. The dark lord will use that against Potter won't he?"
"Yes." He answered not the least bit phased by her comment.
"It's alright to be jealous. He chose her, like she chose him. I remember you felt exactly the same then as you do now. You couldn't stand it. You've watched them for a while now, haven't you? Watched it grow."
"Yes." He said through his teeth hating for the words coming out of her mouth.
"But I did not come here to make you angry. In fact, I came to do the direct opposite. Severus, can I trust you?"
He looked at her with contempt mixed with anticipation. What was she doing, reading his mind? His thoughts seemed in tact. Yet she knew, like she did long ago, exactly what he was feeling.
"Why should I answer that?" he asked his face a mask of anger.
"Because for once, I need you to know something. Something that could get me killed. If you don't want to help me then you aren't the man I thought I knew."
"You were a child when I left, you didn't know me."
"I did know you Severus, like no one else could or has. I knew what gave you joy, what tore your heart apart and what and who you hated."
"You should be afraid Ms. MacAlister, I am not who you think I am." He said walking towards her. He stood nose to nose with her and she didn't even flinch.
"I am not afraid of you Severus, I have never been, even when I knew you went to him. I wasn't afraid when I knew he branded you like a piece of cattle nor was I afraid when I walked through those doors and saw you from the landing. You cannot frighten me. You will not frighten me. I know you."
"Get out. I can't." he said looking away, biting back the tears he'd repressed for years.
"Do you want to hear why I came back to Hogwarts? Voldemort wants an Empath. That is what I am. He wants one to rape, to defile, and to devour until all the humanity within him is gone. What do you say to that? If you hate me as much as you try telling yourself, because I know your secrets, be quick. I hate to wait. My death sentence has been long enough of a wait as it is."
Why was she provoking him? Don't let her touch you. That's what started it all, picking up a book she'd dropped and touching her. The bliss of touching her.
"I'm sorry, I was under the impression we had become friends." She said regretting she'd come to help him.
"Wait." He said coming to her. "Don't cry. I hate to see you cry." He said handing her a handkerchief.
"And I hate to see you pushing people away. That's what you always do! Let me help you. Just this once. You need to rest and I need you to listen to me. I'm sorry to mention her. I wanted to get you angry. I'm sorry."
"It's late. I will take your potion. But first you need to tell me why you need me to help you." He said grabbing his robes and walking out of the dungeon. He turned off the lights and walked with her.
"After you left, I was all alone. It was awkward. No Marauders, you were gone, the only friend I had left was Hagrid. Then the Weasley children came. Then I studied, and studied and thought of nothing else than getting stronger. If you think my helping you back then was good, wait. I can really help now. I trust you. Maybe its because you have always been honest with me."
"I treated you terribly. That wasn't nice." He said as the casually strolled down the long corridors.
"You treated me better than you treated yourself. You are in so much pain. I don't think you even realize it." She said as they continued down towards the great hall.
"I'm fine." He said his hands behind his back.
"Wrong answer Severus. Remember you cannot lie to me. Try again." She said smiling.
Then there was a noise. Voices. Weasley and Granger? Had they been walking for more than an hour? "We have to hide. I don't want them to see you with me."
"Why?" she asked looking around "We? Sounds quaint?"
"There are those here Lexi, that do not know that I am on the right side. And any rumor that we are "acquainted" may leak back to Voldemort." He said pulling her behind him. "Stay quiet."
"Always the bossy one. You never change."
"And you never shut up." She smiled at that.
He waited until the voices grew louder and found that they were not Weasley and Granger but Malfoy and Goyle, lurking around waiting to Hex Granger and Weasley.
"Mr. Malfoy, what are you doing out of bed at this hour?" he asked in a booming authoritative voice.
"Patrols." Answered Malfoy hoping that would placate him.
"You are not on the schedule. And what is Goyle doing? Get back from to the Common room. You have been warned." He snapped watching them run down the corridor.
She was behind him before he knew it. He was so tired. "Don't we sound all bad now? Punish me schoolmaster! I've been very, very bad..." she said mocking the girls in the library. "You have a rather large closet fan club."
She batted her eyes at him and smiled. "You are deranged." He said trying not to smile.
"Mental is what they use now. Ron Weasley seems to find that word appropriate." She said laughing. She pretended to swoon as he looked at her with mock disgust. "I didn't finish my essay Professor, I've been very, very naughty..."
He liked to hear her laugh. He liked to feel her near him. He felt better when she was. "You? The big bad school master, please! I remember Alistair talking about Malfoy, isn't that Lucius's son? I heard my uncle's doppelganger turned him into a ferret. I would have paid to see that!"
"It was quite a sight. I thought Professor McGonagal was going to have a seizure." He said actually chuckling.
Did he just hear himself laugh? How long ago was it since he laughed. He sighed. "I've been very tired." He tried to change the subject. "Did you know that you need better wards on your rooms."
"Yes, I know, I sleepwalk. I was wondering when you were going to tell me you keep watching me in my knickers walking the halls like a ghost."
Red faced he couldn't look at her. "I appreciate that fact that it wasn't Malfoy who found me. I don't do well with his sort. But showing off to you, hmm. I would have never taken you for a voyeur." She answered stopping at the statues of the great hall. Portraits watched silent. Some actually smiled.
"It's happened ever since they died. Dumbledore enchanted my room to keep me in. I shouldn't be surprised. Alistair had a terrible time keeping me in my room when we were home. Constant Vigilance! He'd shout. Those white hairs on his head? Dark wizards? Nope, me."
He smirked at her. "I am not now or have I ever been a voyeur."
"Wrong answer again schoolmaster. Bad boys tell no lies..." she said taunting him. He enjoyed it so she continued. "Don't give me the it's unprofessional face. I know you like it. You need to r-e-l-a-x. Loosen up and live a little. We might all die tomorrow. Carpe diem Severus."
"Who gave you this mischievous streak?" he asked looking at the light hitting her eyes. Green and lovely.
"Tonks. She's a spitfire! Said I needed to loosen up or I'd snap." She said doing her best ladylike walk. "You're right though, I need to stop roaming the halls giving the ghosts a free show."
"I'll inform the headmaster. Let him know you need them strengthened." He said as they walked towards his rooms. "Do you still have nightmares?"
She promptly ignored him. "Come, get ready for bed Severus. I will get you to sleep. I will sit in this chair and make sure you do. Go into your room. I will wait here in your study. Get."
"You aren't supposed to be in here at night Lexi. I'll be fine. Go away now." He said pushing her to the door.
"And you aren't supposed to be following me through Hogwarts at night ogling at my girly bits either. Now, no buts. Go and I promise you will sleep like a babe." She announced. "I am not a child any longer. Get going. Don't make me..."
He took one look at her and knew that she was not threatening him lightly. He had been briefed on her expertise in hexing and no matter how well he dueled as tired as he was, she'd win.
"I can see that. Yes, Lexi, I'm going." He said letting his guard down. Yes, she trusted him, just as he trusted her.
Twenty minutes later he came out in a pair of deep blue pajamas and a matching robe. "This is ridiculous. I'm a grown man. You shouldn't be here now."
"You should learn to shut up. I bet it's because you get your way too much. Now, on the bed schoolmaster. Lord, I'm a deviant, do you realize how perverted that sounded?" She laughed so unabashedly, then caught her self trying to then sound as professionally as possible. "I worked with Madame Pomfrey while at school and Madame Demeter for 10 years. I am the best and one of a very few Empaths left alive after him. He's been through three of them in the last decade. I don't want to be the one that does it for him. So," she said cracking her knuckles. What shall I do? Let's see..."
He was carefully reposed under a heavy quilt looking at her with an odd expression on her face. "Drink your potion now. If I timed it right, it will let you sleep later. Not right away. But soon."
Like a good patient, he drank it, and gagged. "Didn't say it was going to taste good, but it works. Now, tell me, what happened today? You barely ate breakfast, and no lunch and no supper. That tells me you are either preoccupied or addled, and you are certainly not addled."
"I was mad at myself for yesterday." He answered calmer but still lucid. She had taken hold of his hand and was running her fingers along his wrist in a circular pattern.
"And now you know it was okay. I wasn't hurt or upset." She answered breathing deeply.
"I dreamed." He said suddenly peaceful. She sat closer and moved his bangs from his face.
"Of what?" she asked watching him relax.
"You, wondering why you don't hate me." He said his eyes closed for the moment. "I missed this. Feeling eased. I missed you. I wanted to understand how you couldn't hate me. I betrayed you, everyone."
"I don't. I can't. You aren't the man I hate. I've saved that for someone else. Are you dangerous?"
"Yes." He answered as her hand trailed up his wrist towards the brand.
He grabbed her wrist. "Don't. Touch. That."
"Sh. I'm in charge here. Back on the pillow. What else bothered you today?" she said touching his bare arm now and running her fingers across his forehead.
He sighed. "Potter. He was quiet today. Weasley, so in love with her. I hate them for the love they have for each other. Just like James, and her."
"Sh." She said closing her eyes and accepting the pain. Her breath came in ragged gasps for a few moments then she continued. "That's why you left him isn't it. Because he hurt her?"
"Yes. She was so pure, so...lovely." He said glassy eyed and placid.
"You couldn't have saved her Severus. That task was for another." She told him tears running down her cheeks. "What else did you dream?"
"That Potter loses. That it all ends. That we all lose." He said looking at her. "Don't cry, you know I hate that."
"I know, it's alright. It passes. Do you feel better?" She asked caressing his face. His eyes were large and glassy and he fought sleep with all he had. He didn't want to sleep.
"Yes, you're safe now. I can rest." He said his lids heavy. "Lexi, I'm sorry I left you all alone."
"You didn't. I had you right here." She said touching her chest and holding his hand. "Sleep. I won't leave you. I promise."