"Ahhh!" Arwen's girlish scream ran through the hallway. Ruby, Robin and Primrose dropped all of their books they were so freaked. They cleaned their books up very fast though. The school tended to be quite clean because the Janitor was a Balrog.
"What now?" asked Eowyn
"I think there's a cowlick in my hair," she complained
Eowyn rolled her eyes, "You're the fairest living thing on the earth. You could have a bee's nest on you head, and you'd still be the fairest living thing on the earth."
"There's a big difference between a cowlick and a bee's nest, you see, a bee's nest is an accident, but a cowlick is natural."
"So, you're married, and your husband should love you no matter what."
"You're just saying that because you know how picky he is, and he'll probably dump me if I get any less pretty. Your just hoping that when he dumps me he'll go have an affair with you."
"But I'm already married to the good for nothing Gondorian who couldn't find any fair ladies of his own people, and had to settle for me."
"Don't you just hate it when guys are all for your looks?"
"Yeah, some husbands we have."
Arwen and Eowyn tended to argue a lot, but they always found some agreement after a few minutes of catfight.
RING!
"Where is everybody?" asked Arwen. Somebody poked her. Estella, Diamond, and Rosie were standing there the whole time, but were unnoticed because of their height.
"You know, that's the fourth time you've done that this week! Ever heard of a word called heellllllllooooooo?" said Eowyn making fun. Estella scowled at her.
"Where's Goldberry?" asked Arwen
"She's hiding from Tom, she's really trying to avoid him. Not that she needs to anyway. He fancies Pearl so much, he follows her everywhere," said Estella.
"He deserves a slap in the face," said Diamond, they all nodded their heads agreeing.
"You know, we have the weirdest subjects this year: "Using your Powers" with Gandalf, "Health" with Ioreth, "Languages" with Luthien, "History" with Gil-Galad, "Home Ec." with Lobelia, "Social Studies" with Eglantine, "Math" with Sauron, hhmm, wonder why," said Rosie sarcastically, "And Elbereth for our "Woman classes" and I don't see why we need those, seeing as were all married."
"Yeah, and you have 13 children so you'll pass no problem," said Diamond.
"So who do we have now?" asked Eowyn.
"Luthien," said Estella.
"Not too bad since I know two languages fluently," said Arwen showing off.
"Hello, so do I fairy queen" said Eowyn.
"Too bad Legolas isn't at this school," said Arwen.
"Yeah, he's so hot," said Eowyn, and once again, they land on an agreement.
"Hello dreamy girls.," Galadriel appeared. "Let's go and write notes in class"
RING!
"Oh great, now we're late, and you know Luthien, we might have to stay after class," said Diamond.
"Except for princess Arwen here, because she's the teacher's heir," said Eowyn .
"Shut up! I get in trouble," said Arwen.
"Oh really, when?" asked Eowyn.
"She caught me putting on make up during class."
"Excuse me, but I believe we are still late for class," said Galadriel, for once acting her own age.
They all ran to the door of the classroom.
"You go first, I can't do it, the pressure and all," said Diamond pushing Eowyn in front of her.
"What makes you think I can?"
"Oh for goodness sake" said Galadriel "You go first Arwen."
"Yes Grandmother" she said sarcastically. She opened the door, and the whole class was staring at her, but I guess that was quite natural. They all took their seats. Luckily, Luthien did favor Arwen and let it go. While Luthien lectured on, not knowing that the rest of the class wasn't paying attention, Eowyn was looking around the class, and saw Goldberry, who was sitting on the complete opposite side of the classroom from Tom Bombadil, her husband, who was smothering poor Pearl (Pippin's sister). Saruman and Wormtongue were whispering, most likely plotting to destroy the whole world. All the Dwarf women, who were often mistaken for Dwarf men, were talking about beautiful jewels. Celeborn, Galadriel's husband, was chewing on pencils and pens, as usual. Elladen and Elrohir (Arwen's twin brothers) were trying to convince Faramir Jr. (Pippin's son) to steal some of his future father in-law's weed for them. Bill the pony, who thought he was a donkey, would follow them around a lot. Hasufel, Arod and Brego were horses trying to learn to speak; yes horses go to this school too. Brego loved carrying Aragorn, Hint, Hint. Sometimes Sauron and Morgoth would come to class, too make sure we were being tortured enough. Gamling and Hama were talking about horses. Haldir was staring at Galadriel, who he had a crush on, but many thought he was gay. Radagast the Brown (a wizard) was trying to tame Ancalagon the Black (a dragon). Faramir and Boromir were trying to convince Pippin to talk Merry into increasing the import of weed in Gondor. Merry was famous, and often out of town on business. He was Estella's husband. He was in charge of exporting the weed that Sam was famous for growing all around Middle-earth. Rosie, Sam's wife, spent most of her time worrying about her children, and hoping that the teachers weren't being too hard on them. She had 13 children. Rosie didn't know that Sam was growing all that weed; she just assumed it was farmer Maggot. Frodo and Sam were in another class. They really liked bugging Arwen. Aragorn was King, so he had to go to a special school. He and Arwen had a son and some daughters. Galadriel was still pondering whether she should get a divorce, which she really wanted. Celebrian was Arwen's mother, and Galadriel was her mother, though they hardly looked any older than each other, and didn't act like they were related. Diamond was Pippin's wife, and they were a very happily married, a perfect couple. Their back yard had a great amount of apple trees. They loved apples. They also had Faramir Jr. for a son. They were very afraid that Bill the pony wanted to kill him. Estella was a good cook and used lots of Diamond's apples to bake delicious apple deserts. Estella found Merry's secret stash of weed in their house, and whenever Merry was out of town, she would host a party for the girls. She even added some crack to those delicious apple deserts they ate. In her free time she would sell some weed to kids, and she even had her own stall in the girls bathroom at school for a stand. Eowyn was married to Faramir, but she originally wanted to marry Aragorn, but Arwen won that catfight. Faramir wanted to marry someone of his people, but the just had to settle for each other. Her daydreams ended when Angborn, the King of the dead, interrupted.
"Yes Angborn?" asked Luthien
"Why do I have to learn all of this, when I'm dead?" Angborn usually asked questions like this, and he always got the same answer.
"I'm afraid you'll have to clear that up with the principal," she said. He shuddered; no one ever went to the principal. He was very evil, anyone who got in big trouble got mutated into and orc, and was forced to serve Sauron and Morgoth forever.
RING!
"Ah, saved by the bell," said Diamond, she winked at Pippin who grinned at her.
They all went to their lockers to get their books for the next class.
"Oh great, Social," said Eowyn
"Yeah, but I heard we had a sub today," said Estella
"I hope it's not Otho, I hate him," Eowyn told her friend.
"It's Denethor."
"Oh I hate him too, he's so ugly."
"Then I guess Faramir inherits his mother's good looks?"
"What?" Eowyn looked shocked.
"You do know he's your father in-law."
"Oh shit, I forgot."
"I heard he wants to marry Luthien."
"Ha, he couldn't get a girl like that in a million years."
"Yah duh, you know he might favor you in class."
"Whatever, let's go."
RING!
They all sat in their seats.
"Alright, well, I guess the first thing to do is Attendance," said Denethor
"Arwen?"
"Here."
"Ori?"
"Here"
"Nori?"
"Here."
"Dori?"
"She's not here, she had a tantrum this morning and passed out because she lost a necklace."
"Estella"
"Here"
"Diamond"
"Here"
"Goldberry"
"Here"
"Tom"
"..."
"TOM"
"Uh, here"
He was staring at Pearl and wasn't paying attention.
"Pearl"
"Here"(girlish squeak)
"Bill"
"EEEAAAWWW"
"Ancalagon"
"RRAAHHRR"
"Faramir"
"Here"
"Here"
"Eowyn"
"He—"
"Oh Eowyn, you're married to my son aren't you?"
Faramir and Eowyn turned their heads away from each other and didn't speak.
"Angborn"
"Here"
"Excuse me, but how come I can see through you?"
"Oh, I'm dead sir, because your dumbass King cursed me"
"You know this Attendance is taking really long. Only Dori and Brego are missing," said Nori
"Why is Brego missing?"
"Choked on a hey ball" said Arwen
The class went on, and Denethor lectured just as much as Luthien. The whole class was asleep, except for Eowyn.
RING! The whole class was shocked and woke up startled.
"You know, Bill's ears twitch when he's sleeping, and I don't know how Goldylocks (Sam's daughter) sleeps at night, Faramir Jr. snores so loud"
"How would she know how he snores?" asked Rosie
"Oh, come on, you don't notice her sneaking out at night" said Eowyn "Anyway, he snores loud OK?"
"He gets that from his Father," said Diamond, she smiled and winked at Pippin again, "But then I started rolling him over and he stopped" she sighed with a dreamy look on her face.