The party was awesome. Every one was celebrating under the party tree at Bag End, except our teachers.
"Time to cut the cake!" yelled someone
"First Frodo has to make a wish and blow the candles out!" yelled Sam
"And Bilbo too, it's his Birthday too!" yelled Diamond
So they both blew out the candles, and the cake was distributed to everyone.
"MMM... this is delicious Estella, what's in it?"
"My apples of course" Diamond blurted out.
"Well, I also added a little something that I got from Saruman, to give it a little extra taste" she winked at them. The girls knew what that something from Saruman was. Rosie was at the bar, handing out beer, and cleaning mugs. Many of the guys were trying to flirt with her, and Sam was getting close to blowing their brains out. There was also a group of guys gawking at the girls, and Aragorn was one of them.
"Hey Eowyn, looking good" said Aragorn
"Dude, that's my girl," said Faramir
Eowyn was sick and tired of Aragorn hitting on her, so she dealt with it like a professional.
WHAM!
She slapped him hard, and Arwen saw it. "What did you slap him for?"
"Well, this HUSBAND of yours keeps hitting on me?" said Eowyn
This time Arwen slapped him, and both girls walked away.
"Dude, Burn!" said Elladen
"Yah man, you got it bad" said Elrohir
MEANWHILE...there was other slapping going on.
WHAM!
Pearl had slapped Tom. "Goldberry, he just told me to meet him in the bathroom"
WHAM! Goldberry slapped him too, and that took care of that.
MEANWHILE...
"Ok, parent's, we're gonna get married, and move into a hole of our own" said Faramir Jr.
"Oh finally" said Diamond relieved.
"Well, one more down, plenty to go," said Rosie
"Now we can have the house to ourselves," said Pippin winking at Diamond.
MEANWHILE...
Estella was waiting for Merry to come home, because he said he wouldn't miss the party. When she saw him, she wanted to run up to him and he would twirl her around and kiss her...but she just ended up knocking him over from all the excitement and dope, but he still picked her up in his arms... and, well...you get the idea.
"Hello sweetums" he said
"Oh, by the way, I found your weed stash"
"What! Which one?"
"The one in our bedroom, HOW MANY MORE ARE THERE?"
"Oh, that was just the emergency stash"
"You mean there are bigger stashes?"
"Oh, well...let's just drop it for now and just be happy to see each other"
"OK"
MEANWHILE...
Pretty much everyone was high from the birthday cake. Even the horses were a little high. Hasufel was using Gimli as a chair, and Arod accidentally knocked Haldir into a water barrel. Brego was doing some weird dance thingy to show off for Aragorn. Oh, and Gollum was talking to himself, but I guess that was quite normal. Wormtongue, eeww, was staring at Eowyn, like eeww man. Bilbo was trying to be a pirate, which looked pretty retarded. Pippin was singing his traditional, drunken songs, but he was singing solo, because his buddy Merry was a little busy at the moment. Frodo was trying very hard to convince Sam that he was still a tween, but that wasn't working since it was his 52nd birthday. A poisonous bush snake was attacking Celebrian, so Goldberry stepped on it. Frodo was at the bar and kept hearing a weird voice inside his head.
"Hey Frodo, pass me a drink" he had no idea who was talking to him.
"Hello, didn't you hear me!"
Then Frodo was talking out loud to himself. "OK, who the hell is talking in my head?"
"Hello" waved Galadriel
"Oh" he passed her a drink feeling quite embarrassed.
MEANWHILE...
Eowyn went over to the girls. "Hey, where's Estella?"
"Well...you know...Merry just got home," said Diamond
"Oh, guess we won't be seeing her till, oh, tomorrow afternoon probably" they all started laughing.
"Did you know that Faramir and Goldylocks are getting married?" said Rosie, Eowyn looked confused.
"Faramir Jr. you dork, you know, my son" said Diamond
"Oh" said Eowyn "That makes much more sense"
"So, I hear you four had some slapping time," said Celebrian
"Oh, yeah" said Eowyn quite satisfied with herself.
"It was great," said Pearl
"They totally deserved it," said Goldberry
"Definitely" Arwen was a little depressed "I can't believe him, he so doesn't love me anymore"
"Sure he does, he's just as perverted as other guys, only he shows it," said Eowyn
"Well I'm gonna do something about it!" said Elanor, who wasn't really afraid to talk to anyone, so she took care of things when others were too chicken.
"What are you going to do?" asked Arwen
"Don't worry, I'll take care of it," she said
Elanor walked over to the guys, and Pippin whistled at her.
"Dude! That's my daughter!" said Sam
"Yeah and she's hot" said Pippin, Sam gave him a glare that made him shut up.
"What can we do for you?" asked Boromir. The words may look all right, but it sounded wrong.
"I am looking for Aragorn"
"Oh, he took a walk in the old forest I think" said Faramir
So she went into the old forest, and found him sitting against a tree, and he looked kind of down. Figuratively not literally.
"Hey wazzup" said Elanor
"Hey...hobbit" apparently he had forgotten her name and he was also pretty drunk.
"Elanor"
"Right, what do you want?"
"Well, look, Arwen thinks you don't like her, cause of all these bad things you're doing"
"I do like her, but it's hard when all of her friends are hot"
"Thanks...I mean...whatever, she said if you don't pay more attention to her, then she'll threaten not to sleep with you anymore" his face was in shock" And if you still don't smarten up, then she'll probably just start cheating on you"
"OK, I'll smarten up!"
"Good"
"Hey, who do you think she would cheat with?"
"I dunno, maybe..." She thought hard for a really hot guy, kinda famous "Legolas"
"OK, I'll definitely smarten up, I don't want that blonde faggot with her, anyway, I thought girls liked the rugged-outdoorsy-type, not the overly-happy blonde guys"
"Oh, they do, believe me, just not when their acting like perverts"
"Burn" Someone said in his head, most likely Elladen or Elrohir.
MEANWHILE...
"Damnit! I said roll over!" yelled Radagast still trying to tame Ancalagon, instead of rolling over, he went to some tree and started humping it. "Eeww man, I got to get you fixed, or hooked up with some hot dragon chick. I said roll over not hump tree"
MEANWHILE...
Pippin was watching Elladen and Elrohir trying to light a firework, and his head was shaking in disappointment.
"You don't want to be doing that," said Pippin
"No, I really think I do," said Elrohir
"Fine, get burned to a crisp," said Pippin walking away. A few moments later, a giant firework shot up into the sky, leaving a battered tent, and what looked like two fried Popsicle sticks. So they went over to the bar to drink some medicine, or beer in this case, and started to check out some girls.
"Dude, check out her" said Elladen pointing to Pearl.
"Check out that ass" said Elrohir pointing to...ARWEN.
"Eewww you sicko, that's our sister man."
"Ooopps"
Galadriel was at the bar still, and Haldir came over to flirt with her.
"So...uh...hey" said Haldir
"Hi" said Galadriel dully.
Celeborn was waltzing around a little overly happy. Galadriel rolled her eyes.
Frodo and Bilbo were also sitting at the bar, watching Celebrian and Goldberry do a folk dance.
"I wonder if their skirts will flip up," said Frodo
"Maybe that will lighten up this party," said Bilbo.
Rosie slapped them for that. "Oh! Men are so immature, except for my Sam," she said happily.
"Oh, so you think making a law for the entire Shire not to tell his wife that he's been growing weed is mature? Oh yes, very mature." Said Frodo
Rosie fainted, but she did that a lot, and recovered within a few minutes.
MEANWHILE...
Dori recovered from the loss of her necklace. It took one day of mourning. All the other Dwarf women attended the funeral. She was still crying.
"I can't believe my beautiful Ruby's gone, I don't think I can live without my Ruby!" she said sobbing.
"I am not your Ruby! And I'm not gone!" said Ruby (Sam's daughter), who was behind her overhearing, she thought the dwarf was referring to her. Plus, Dwarf women were often mistaken for men, so she just thought it was some perverted Dwarf man. So Ruby slapped Dori.
MEANWHILE...
Daisy passed out from too much crack, and ended up having a horrible nightmare. She dreamt that she was hiding in a cupboard over the sink, because she had heard that Tom was searching high and low for her.
"You cannot hide" she heard him yell, "I will seek you out to the ends of Middle-earth!"
She woke up a little shocked
"What a horrible dream!" she started to eat a chocolate bar because that calmed her.
MEANWHILE...
That snake was still following Celebrian.
"Sweety, that snake keeps following you" said Galadriel
"Stop following me!" she yelled. The snake looked very sad. "Aww, it's OK" she figured it wouldn't be so bad to have a pet snake, and she was pretty sure it was poisonous so she could use it as a weapon.
MEANWHILE...
Tom was spying on Daisy, who was eating a chocolate bar.
"Look what she's doin' to that chocolate" said Tom with a dreamy look on his face
"Yeah, great" said Gimli
Eowyn was behind them the whole time. Tom turned around and...
WHAM!
MEANWHILE...
"Dad likes me better," said Boromir who was arguing with his little brother.
"Yeah, well, I got a girl" said Faramir
"Oh, so I'm just an object am I?" said Eowyn, who then slapped her husband. "Awsome, 3 guys in half and hour"
"You've got a girl alright, one that wounds you," said Boromir
She walked away looking for more guys to slap, and found Pippin.
WHAM!
"That's for whistling at Elanor"
Then over to the bar...
Double WHAM!
"That's for checking out your sister you perverts," she said to Elladen and Elrohir.
She walked away happily, leaving them quite bruised after being blown up by a firework, and getting slapped by a girl. "Wow, I'm on fire!" she said.