Estella crept out the window with much difficulty. Grrr... she thought. If only that stupid door didn't make so much noise. Then, out of nowhere, I hate being 3 ½ feet tall. It sucks... a lot... I like the idea of 5'7" better....

She then tripped over the edge of the window sill and sill into the bushes. Inside, Merry rolled over while Estella held her breath. Oh good, he's still asleep. She didn't really feel like listening to him snore all night. It kept her awake because she was so used to the silence of him being away.

She followed the noise right to the party and immediately headed for Diamond. "Hey. What's new?"

"Hmm? Oh, nothing actually," Diamond said, turning to Estella.

"Riiiight. Where's Pippin?"

"I don't know and I don't care."

"Alright, spill."

Diamond promptly burst into tears. "He was whistling at Elanor. He doesn't love me anymore!" she wailed. She practically fell into Estella's arms.

"Aww, it's okay," Estella tried. "Hey! I know! Come with me." Estella grabbed Diamond's hand and dragged her into the trees and started to run. Diamond pulled her hand away and asked where they were going. She didn't get an answer.

Estella stopped abruptly and Diamond ran into her. "Look," she said, pointing. Diamond looked.

Boromir and Faramir were arguing over something. "Ah, brotherly love," said Estella sarcastically.

Just then, Eowyn came up, said something to her husband and slapped him.

Diamond laughed. "This is funny. I gotta find Pippin."

"Yeah, really funny..." Estella muttered under her breath.

Diamond marched out of the woods and eventually found Pippin. She walked up to him, slapped him and walked away. Estella shrugged at him and followed Diamond. Behind her, she could hear Pippin say, "That's the second time tonight!" Estella shook her head.

"Wow. I feel better now." Diamond smiled.

"Great," Estella smiled back. "Now let's go."

As they walked, Diamond thought of something. "Hey, where's Merry?"

"Snoring."

"Oh, I see."

"Yeah, it kept me awake. So I figured I'd come down here anyway."

"Oh, I see."

"Yup, but I was never here, got it? No one ever saw me until tomorrow afternoon."

"Right. Got it. Yup," Diamond said, catching on. "It's not all it's cracked up to be is it?"

"Sure it is. Just not in the way everyone thinks."

"Yeah."

"How would you know?"

"Uh, I'm married to his cousin, hello. Only Pippin isn't away all the time. Trust me, girl. You got it better."

"What? Nah, it's not so great. I mean..." Estella tried to think of a way to explain her contradictions. "It's nice, and he's great, but he's got so many little secrets."

"Yeah, same here."

They finally got to where Estella wanted to go. Eowyn stood with her back to them, fuming. Estella picked up a tray of apple desserts and pulled on Eowyn's dress. "Hey, want one, or two... or maybe three?"

Eowyn grabbed one and stuffed it in her face. "Oh he makes me so mad!"

"Why?" asked Diamond.

"I'm just a thing to him. Not even a person. Grrr..." It became clear she was talking about Faramir.

"Yeah, aren't we all?" asked Estella, winking at Diamond. Eowyn didn't notice, Estella and Diamond being tiny hobbits.

Diamond caught on. "I hate it when they do that. Have another dessert."

Eowyn gobbled down several more crack-filled apple desserts (courtesy of Estella and Diamond) while she talked over her troubles with the two hobbits.

"Thanks, guys," Eowyn said after the desserts were gone and walked away.

"Man, she's weird when she's high," Diamond whispered to Estella.

"Yup. Just weird enough to like Faramir a little more," Estella commented. "Now on to him."

Diamond shot a double take at Estella. "Why did we get her high?"

"Well, here's a hint. We're gonna get Faramir high too."

"Ohhhhh, I get it now."

They had a harder time getting Faramir high. First Diamond went around and offered him and Boromir some treats. Boromir took plenty, but Faramir declined her offer politely. "No, thanks. I don't want to remember the last time Eowyn and I got high." He shuddered. "And Eowyn probably already is..."

Diamond stared at him in disbelief. "You sick—"But before she could get the rest out, Estella grabbed her arm and pulled her away.

"He's... EWW! I didn't need to think about that..."

"Think about what?" Goldylocks popped up out of nowhere.

"Uh, nothing," Diamond said quickly.

"So whatcha doin'?"

"Umm..." Estella looked at Diamond.

Diamond thought about it and nodded. "She might be able to help us," she whispered as she walked by to get more desserts. Estella quickly explained to her.

"Cool." Goldylocks said. "What can I do?"

"Uh, could you make Faramir cry?"

"Nope, sorry. Can't be mean to guys."

"Oh. Uh, you could distract Boromir."

Goldylocks looked over at him. "Suuure..." she said with a strange look on her face. "Not married, is he?"

"Nope."

"Good." Goldylocks walked away as Diamond walked up.

"What is she doing?"

"Um, I think he's distracting Boromir."

"Ewwww... you sicko!"

"What?!"

"You know how she'll distract him don't you?"

"Well, that's her business."

"You're damn right it is. And my son's!"

"Ew. Okay, so I didn't know. I'm sorry!"

"Yeah, whatever."

They watched as Goldylocks dragged Boromir away.

"Um, I don't think she's gonna do what you think she is," Estella said.

"Why not?"

"Uh, dude! Look at the height difference!"

"Hmm... well, whatever. None of our business, right?"

"Yeah, whatever," Estella agreed. "I don't think we're gonna manage to get Faramir high. He knows what we're up to, I think."

"Okay. How about we get someone else to get him drunk?"
"YEAH!" Estella shouted. Everyone stopped talking and stared at her. "He he... oops?"

"Come on," Diamond said, slightly annoyed with friend.

"Okay, so let's go over this again," Diamond said. "So we're gonna get..."

"Goldylocks"

"...to get..."

"Boromir"

"...drunk and then..."

"Boromir"

"...should get Faramir drunk?"

"Yeah!"

"You have no idea what you're doing, do you?"

"Uh... no!"

"Great."
"Well, let's go find Goldylocks, 'kay?"

"Alright."

The hobbits had no problem finding Goldylocks again. She was sitting at the bar with Boromir. Estella laughed. "She's already getting him drunk! But I have a better idea."

Estella ran behind the bar momentarily to talk to Rosie, leaving Diamond standing where she was, clueless. Rosie nodded and handed Estella a huge bottle. Estella skipped back to Diamond giggling. "Look what I've got!"

"What is that?"

"RUM!" she giggled.

"You're acting like you've had some already. What are you going to do with it?"

"You'll see!" Estella scampered of to Goldylocks, whispered in her ear and handed her the bottle. Goldylocks nodded and Estella hurried back to Diamond. "C'mon, let's go over here." They hid in a corner and started at Boromir and Goldylocks. Goldylocks opened the bottle and took a sip. She said something to Boromir and handed him the bottle. He took a long drink and set the bottle on the bar.

"Eww!" Diamond whispered. "Gross! You know how unsanitary that is? They should use glasses!"

"Glasses do have limits you know," Estella commented, and Diamond shot her a confused glance. "He's more likely to get drunk if he keeps drinking out of the bottle," she continued happily. "Besides, it's more fun."

She doesn't have a clue about what she's talking about. Maybe she and Merry had a few drinks when they got home... Diamond thought.

"I'm not drunk, if that's what you're wondering," Estella told her friend.

Diamond blushed and rolled her eyes. "What are they saying?"

"I don't know, I can't hear, and besides, their backs are to us."

"Thank you for stating the obvious."
"You're welcome!"

Diamond rolled her eyes again.

They watched and waited a long time for Boromir to finish his half of the bottle. When he was done, Goldylocks got up to leave. He leaned over and...

WHAM!

"Ooh, that one hurt!" Estella laughed.

"Ew, that's gross. I'm outta here. No way I'm getting close to that freak." Diamond walked out into the cool night air, filled with noise from the party. A few minutes later, Estella came out, dragging Boromir and the half-empty bottle of rum.

"Come on. We've gotta find your li'l bro!"
"Wha—"

"Don't ask," Diamond put in. He looked at her.

"Hey... How you doin'?"

"Don't you dare..." Diamond growled.

"Boromir! Leave her alone!" Faramir walked up.

"Oh thank—"Estella's hand clapped over Diamond's mouth.

"Shhh!" she whispered in Diamond's ear. "Come on, if Faramir sees us here, he's gonna suspect something..." Diamond thought Estella did have a few drinks because he did just see her.

So they left the brothers alone. Eventually, Faramir did taste the rum, and also discovered he liked it a lot...