Indecision

Chapter Nine: The Unconscious Confession

Disclaimer: I didn't create any of these characters ( Kagome, Inuyasha, Miroku, Shippo, Sango, Kilala, etc.)

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Kagome gasped, but slapped her hands over her mouth before she could make any loud noises. " I can't let them know I'm here!" she thought, " Who knows what could happen if I did?"

Kikyo reached up, and touched Inuyasha's face. Kagome may have been too far away to hear, but she was good at picking up this conversation by gestures.

" She touched him!!!" she thought nervously. " She'd better not-" her thoughts were interrupted when she saw her fears come to action. Kikyo kissed Inuyasha gently, and Kagome held her hands tighter over her mouth. She tried her best not to shout, but she was thinking to herself, " How dare she do that to him!!! Kikyo's gonna pay for that!" Suddenly, she saw Inuyasha draw close to the priestess, kiss her back, and hold her close to him.

Kagome's heart came to a dead stop. Her hands fell to her side, and tears began welling up in her eyes. " No...." she whispered.

" He...I....I should have known...."

Suddenly, she heard the others running up behind her. She snapped to attention. " Oh, no!" she thought, " Don't-"

" Kagome!" Miroku shouted. Sango, Shippo, and he were coming up right behind her. Suddenly, Sango held out her arm to stop him.

"Huh?" he asked, confused.

Sango didn't take her eyes off of her friend standing ahead. " Leave her for a moment." she said quietly.

He stared at Sango for a moment, dumbfounded, then looked ahead at Kagome. He could tell by her disposition that this wasn't a good time.

Kagome stood, frozen. " I-I can't move..." she thought. But, it wasn't because of Kikyo.

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Inuyasha had just entered the clearing, and came face to face with Kikyo. She looked at him sadly, and turned to properly face him.

" Inuyasha..." she said quietly. " Why have you come? Do you not realize that my only wish is still to see you dead?"

Inuyasha stared at her for a moment. " Kikyo..." he thought. " Why do I keep thinking about how similar you look to Kagome?" " Kikyo, I-" he started, but he had to stop for a moment, for fear he might have spoken the wrong name. " Kikyo," he repeated, " I know you want to see me dead, but I still care about you! Why don't you see that?"

Kikyo stood silently for a moment. Inuyasha came closer to her, and she seemed to be softening in his presence. " Kikyo..." he said gently, " I still think about you."

She seemed to be smiling, but her eyes were still lifeless and cold. The hanyou tried to look past it, but it was difficult to ignore something like that when he was staring so hard. " I need to think about Kikyo..." he thought desperately. " I'm here...with...Kikyo..."

After that, he heard nothing Kikyo said. When the woman reached up and touched his face, he tried his best not to flinch. Her hands were cold as well, and it didn't feel right for her to be that close to him. " It shouldn't be this way..." he started thinking, but he quickly tossed all reasoning aside.

" Shut up! This was how it was meant to be; it's how it should be!!" When he felt her lips against his, he closed his eyes. When she pulled away, he returned the kiss, but the way he had done it was almost as if he was being forced. Almost instantly after he had pulled away, he heard a voice shout out behind him.

" Kagome!"

He recognized Miroku's voice, but he jumped because of the name the monk shouted. " Kagome?!?!?" he thought, letting go of Kikyo. He turned around, and saw a sad, lonely girl standing beside the trees, frozen.

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Kagome's eyes flickered with fear and embarrassment when Inuyasha looked at her. Feeling the sting of hot tears, she closed her eyes. " Don't look at me..." she thought. " I know all you see is the woman you love...all you can see is Kikyo..."

Inuyasha forgot all about Kikyo beside him, and stepped toward Kagome. " Kagome..." he said, embarrassed.

Kagome had wrapped her arms tight around herself, almost as if she was trying to make herself invisible. " Leave me alone..." she said, almost too quiet to hear.

She may have been quiet, but not too quiet for Inuyasha's ears to pick up. He heard her cracked voice speak the words he wished he hadn't heard, and he ignored them, stepping closer.

" Kagome..." he said again, unable to say anything else for the moment.

It was then that Kagome's feet obeyed her, almost too quickly. She ran off with great speed; the fastest she had been yet.

Watching her run actually pulled a heart string, and he started to chase after her. " Kagome, wait!" he cried out, but it was another voice that froze him in his tracks.

" Inuyasha," Kikyo said icily.

His back was still turned to her as she continued to speak. " How dare you tell me you still think of me, when your concern lies with her!" she said, starting to take flight.

" I don't care what you say, Kikyo," he said, " But I promise you; I did not lie when I told you I still think about you!"

" Hn." she replied. " We shall soon see." With that, she disappeared into the night.

Inuyasha growled at himself. " Damn!" he thought. " I let her get away!" The problem was, he wasn't even sure whom he meant. Yes, Kikyo had left, but Kagome had run away, too, and he felt divided. Suddenly, someone spoke to him.

" Inuyasha," Miroku said, " What will you do now?"

" Hn?" he asked, turning to face him. " I don't know what you're talking about."

" Kagome's hurt," Sango answered. " I know you saw the pain in her eyes."

Inuyasha stepped back, feeling hurt himself. " What was I thinking?!" he asked himself silently, " I know now; I don't love Kikyo anymore. But, why am I feeling sick? It can't be because...of it? No!"

" Inuyasha!" another voice commanded his attention.

Shippo was jumping up and down. " I may be a kid, but I know that when you hurt someone's feelings, you need to tell them that you're sorry! And if you don't tell Kagome you're sorry for hurting her feelings, then I'll find some way to hurt yours!!"

Inuyasha picked the child up by the collar. " Oh, yeah?" he asked cockily, " How do you think you're gonna pull that trick off?"

Shippo stared coldly at him. " I may be small," he thought, " But if you don't apologize to Kagome, I know you're gonna feel worse!!"

The hanyou's eyes grew wide with realization; the kid was right. He already felt sick, and if he didn't apologize..." Do I really feel sick because Kagome's sad?" he thought. Suddenly, he tossed Shippo to the ground. Growling, he ran after Kagome, praying he wasn't too late.

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When Kagome had started running, it was so sudden that she almost tripped over her own feet. But, she was still running now, branches whipping her as she pushed ahead. She was crying now, almost as badly as when she had woken from her nightmare the night before.

" I knew he loved her!" she cried aloud, trying to protect her face from another blow. " I knew he would never give up on her! Why did I think he'd changed?! He doesn't love me...he doesn't love me!!!!" Suddenly, freeing herself from a gauntlet of overgrown brush and thistles, she fell to the ground, exhausted. As she tried to steady her breathing, she thought of when he had comforted her before, and then how he had acted as if nothing had happened. Tears still stung her eyes, but she willed herself to stop crying. " Grow up, Kagome!" she thought. " You've got to get a hold of yourself! This isn't your time anyway! If you and Inuyasha were meant to be, then why weren't you born in the same time?! Everything points to the same answer: It's never going to happen! Give it up!"

Kagome sat up, and stared at the ground. " You're right..." she said weakly. " It wasn't meant to be...I was just being blind..." She sniffled slightly, but her eyes were dry now, and she didn't feel crushed anymore. She felt hollow, but her decision was that being hollow was better than blinding herself. " I'll just go home and start over again." she thought, trying to convince herself it was for the best. " Besides, Mom and Grandpa must miss me. Even my brother has to miss me! Yeah, going home and starting over again....that's the answer." Slowly, she tried to get up, but she was too exhausted to stand. So, instead, she lay on the ground, shivering slightly.

" I'll just rest here for a little bit..." she said quietly to herself. " Just until I have a little more strength...then, I'll go to the well, and home..." As her eyelids began to droop, she thought she heard a noise, but she dismissed it as an owl.

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Inuyasha sat in a tree above the girl, and watched her fall fast asleep. He had only arrived a moment ago, and had completely missed her new resolve.

" Kagome..." he said softly. " Why are you so upset...?" When he had made sure that she was in a deep slumber, he jumped down onto the ground, and sat next to her. Watching her as she slept, he began thinking about why he had felt so bad when he had seen her, why he felt so sick, why he had to force himself to kiss Kikyo. " It couldn't it?" he thought, feeling weak. He looked up into the night's sky to make sure the new moon wasn't upon him. He had only expericenced that two weeks ago; the full moon verified such a fact. Sighing, he looked down at Kagome again, and felt his heart flutter as she shivered. " She's cold..." he said softly, feeling compelled to do something about it. Very gently, he out his arms around her, and lifted her into his lap. Looking at her face, he suddenly felt very awkward, and almost realized how he was able to kiss Kikyo. " But I loved Kikyo!" he defended quickly. " Why would I...?" After a moment, he held the curled up Kagome closer to him, and lightly rested his head on top of hers. " What will you do if she wakes up?" he thought. " She won't wake up."

A small voice replied, Yes, she will. Then what will you do? You won't push her into the ground, will you?

" Never!" he insisted.

Then, what will you do?

" She won't wake up!"

Suddenly, Kagome's voice said very softly, " Inuyasha..."

His ears perked up, and he looked down softly at the girl he was holding. " Huh?" he said very quietly, so as not to wake her.

" Inuyasha...I...." she started.

He soon realized she was talking in her sleep, but he decided to risk answering her anyway. " Yeah, Kagome?" he asked, just as softly as she had spoken.

" I love you, Inuyasha..." she replied, burying her face in his chest.

Inuyasha's eyes grew wide as she spoke those words; they were the answer to all of his confusion.

" What?" he asked softly, uncertain if he had actually heard her say what she had said.

" I love you..." she repeated.

Inuyasha was at a loss for words. He sat frozen momentarily, then he smiled faintly, and brushed a bit of hair away from her eyes.

" Kagome..." he thought. " I wasn't sure at first, but now I know....now I know that-"

Suddenly, she flinched, and he felt her muscles tighten as her demeanor changed. She looked pained; afraid. That was when he remembered all the nights he was slammed into the ground. " What am I doing to her in her nightmare?!" he thought. " What am I doing to scare her?"

" Glowing..." she moaned. " They're....red now..." Suddenly, she cried out, " Inuyasha!!! Please, don't!! Don't hurt me!!!"

The hanyou's eyes grew wider. He now understood; she was having a nightmare that he would become full demon, and attack her.

" But...I wouldn't ever hurt you, Kagome..." he said quietly, " I want to become full-demon to protect you! If I didn't become human every new moon, I would stay like this! I know I could use the jewel to become a full human like you, but I don't want to be weak! Kagome, I-" Suddenly, he stopped talking, as he realized that she might be waking up. He sat, motionless and silent, waiting anxiously to see if her eyes would open.

She stirred slightly, but she didn't wake up. Instead, she fell into a deep sleep once more. A bit relieved, Inuyasha leaned back into the tree behind him, and closed his eyes. He soon fell asleep as well.

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At dawn the next morning, Inuyasha woke up with the sunlight starting to shine in his eyes. He sat up. " I fell asleep?" he thought, looking down in his lap to see Kagome. She would wake up soon; he was certain of it, and he gently set her back down on the ground. Brushing his hand lightly against her cheek, he smiled faintly before running through the brush.

On the other side of the clearing, he saw that Miroku, Sango, Shippo, and Kilala had set up camp. They were still asleep, but just as he had known with Kagome, they would awaken soon. So, he lept into a tree, and sat back, waiting for the day to begin.

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Author's Note: I'm trying to stretch this story out as best I can (trust me, this is Chapter Nine: Take Two 8 laughs 8), but I can't guarantee I can stretch it out for too much longer. We shall see, huh? ;) I only just realized that I haven't updated since chapter 6!!! I am SO SORRY for making everyone wait! Hope you enjoy it! TTFN! Trin