Suffering, Chapter Four: Dreaming
Disclaimer: Hmm.yes, it belongs to me.everything belongs to me!!! It's mine, all mine!!! Okay, if you believed a word of that, stop reading now, find a good friend, and have them beat you over the head with a blunt object. Obviously, its not mine.
WARNING: Language, violence, and OotP spoilers!!!
A/N: When I saw how many people reviewed to Chapter 3, I started bouncing off the walls! I was so excited I thought to myself, "Self, why don't you update sooner to encourage people to review more?" And I replied to myself, "Well, Self, that is the best idea ever!" In short, thank you so much for all the reviews!!! I must admit, this isn't one of my favorite chapters, but it's necessary. It's been written for about 2 weeks.I'm a bit behind on my typing and updating! (ducks as rotten fruit is thrown from various readers) I'm sorry!
Also, you may notice in the future chapters that Harry has tons of mood swings. I can explain that in 3 ways: 1) Harry's a teenager. Being in that pleasant stage of life myself, I can say that mood swings are a constant. 2) Harry's dealing with loss. When people deal with loss, their emotions get screwed up. 3) I have been traveling the great journey of "I- don't-know-what-the-fudge-I'm-feeling" lately, and though mainly I have been horribly depressed, I have also been feeling anger, apathy, and hysteria. Harry's moods are tending to reflect my own.
Review Responses: Wow! So many! I almost died of happiness!
Cinnamon Angel: Yes, it's true, I've become a Snape fan. I have to say, he's become on of my favorite characters, especially in fics. I mean, he can't be a jerk for no reason. I will be revealing some of his reasoning in later chapters. I'm very glad I'm making you like Harry. You made me like Draco!
Siv, the elf: I know! Life's not fair to poor Harry!
Layce74(): Thanks!
Saturnine the Possessive: I don't understand what you mean. I promise, promise, promise, to write a slash story, but this one won't be unless I have more than half of the readers rallying for it, which, unfortunately, they're not. And it's not a Sev. Challenge if that's what you're worried about. My work intrigues you?? I'm honored! I love Firefly Darkness. I suppose you've got a good excuse for not updating. (turns to angry mob behind her) "No, no, not now. Put away the pitchforks. No, you CANNOT throw the potato at Saturnine! She says she's working on it. We'll find someone else to mob later!"
Ahappyitm: Thank you! I promise I'm updating as often as possible!
Maggie(): I have decided there will be no sexual abuse in this story. A lot of people have told me it's way over the top. I think they're right on this one.
Katani Petitedra: I'm afraid.. Yeah, I've decided sexual abuse really wouldn't fit this story, so that one's a no.
Jaycee(): Thanks. I swear (puts hand on OotP book) that it will get more personalized.
Ankha: Hey! I've read your story GSFI! It's wonderful! Didn't you make Pomfrey evil in your story??? Umm.. I don't think I'll make her evil, but she doesn't trust our dear Sev. not many people do.I'm so glad you like my story! I'm doing my best to update, I really am.
Wandering Wolf: Hmmm... I don't think any of those things will happen. I just can't see Harry getting a tattoo, and though I will try to show the Slytherins with more humanity that Rowling does, Malfoy is just too much of a Voldie-supporter. Harry really hates his relatives, and he is incredibly angsty, but he still hates Voldemort with a passion. I mean, if it weren't for our dear Voldie, Sirius wouldn't be dead ad Harry would have parents.
KittenBabyGirl: Thank you! I am definitely doing my best to update! I'm angsting too.maybe a later story. Believe me, this story will still be angst -tacular.
Fairygirl131129: The first time he cried was when he found out James and Lily were dead, yes. I may go into more detail on that later. I'm so glad you like my story!
Cccc(): Thanks! I plan to update as often as possible!!!
Jliles(): Thanks! I try!
XSnapeLoverx: Sorry, it's not a Sevi. Challenge, but Snape will still be slowly feeling more compassion. Don't worry, it's not going to all of a sudden be, "I love you like a son, Harry!" and, "You're like a father to me!". By the way, I love your name.
t.a.g.0: Cutting is a possibility, but right now it's about 75-25 for no cutting. And sexual abuse wouldn't work with this story.
Yami no Hikari Hime: Um, yeah, no slash or abuse. That's something I have pretty much decided. No! PLEASE don't take my shiny foil!
DarkJewel: That's a really interesting idea.have our dear Harry learn to become an Animagus.what kind of animal, though?
DaughterofDeath: Short, but encouraging. Thanks!
Megz2: Thanks much. I will try to update often.
Chibi(): I'm sorry, but it looks as if this story will not be slash.
Ckat44(): Thank you so much!!! I'm happy you're clapping for me. That sounds like something I would do! I am updating as often as possible, but ummm, well, when you're a band geek/ tennie/ Honors student/ thespian/ churchy-girl..well, it's hard to stay on top of things! (
Saf Saf: Thanks! I was probably wrong, but I needed a password. Although "Cockroach Cluster" was a password in Harry's fourth year. Harry-Ginny is good. I am pushing for Snape as Main Character #2, but Remus will be very influential.
Amber 16: Thanks. I can't believe you guys! You're way too nice to me! I'm getting a big head!
Momma-dar: Thanks so much!
Jules():Thanks!
Me(): Thanks for the input. I don't intend to make it slash, abuse, or over PG-13.
Carla Shaqui: Thanks! I don't think this story will have sexual abuse, though. A lot of people have said they don't like it. I will try fir Dumbledore and the Weasleys, but at this moment I am already drafting Chapter 6.
Viskii: Thanks!
Fickle: Thanks!!! I intend to keep at it! Oh, and why must Ginny die??? I was curious about your e-mail address.
A/N: I am truly sorry if I have forgotten anyone. There were just so many of you!!!! On with Chapter 4!
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Harry was having a very strange dream indeed. He again found himself running to the Department of Mysteries, as he had so often in his 5th year, but this time, instead of finding himself in the room with the Prophecies, he was in the room with that God-awful archway. He had a brief glimpse of the raised stone benches and fluttering black veil before the room began to melt away from him. He could no longer feel the floor supporting him. He was floating in a strange and almost erethreal silvery-white mist.
As he watched two dim figures approached. He let out a choked noise when they drew nearer. He was standing face-to-face with his parents. Their mouths did not move, but he heard their voices, as if they were speaking to him from very far away. "Harry, we gave our lives for you, and look how you have repaid us. You couldn't even stand up to a Muggle man. You've failed us, Harry." "No," he attempted to cry out, but only a muffled sound came out, and his parents were rapidly fading. However, as quickly as his parents had faded, they were replaced with a single figure. Cedric Diggory's face swam into view. "Harry," his voice said mournfully, "you let Voldemort kill me. You're supposed to be able to defeat him. You let me die." Harry didn't even try to speak, because he couldn't deny anything Cedric had said. Cedric's form faded, and another appeared. The sight made Harry feel as though someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over his head. "Harry," said Sirius sadly, "you've killed me. I'll never see my name cleared, because you killed me." His dark eyes were accusatory. He faded, and then all four figures appeared. Sirius, Cedric, and his parents all leered at him, hissing, "Murderer. Murderer! Murderer!" "You've killed us, Harry!" said Lily. "You are no son of mine," said James.
"No!" Harry cried out, finally finding his voice. "I'm sorry!"
"Sorry won't bring us back to life, Harry," said Sirius sadly.
"No!" he shouted again, but all four figures were dissolving rapidly and he was falling down through a cloak of heavy white fog.
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Severus, who had been in the hospital for the last four hours, just watching Potter sleep, was about to drowse himself when he noticed that the boy's breathing had changed. He was stirring slightly and making slight whimpering noises. Looking closer, Severus realized that his eyes were slightly open, but they were glazed and he seemed quite unaware of his surroundings. Instinctively, the Potions Master reached out and put a hand on the child's shoulder. He immediately regretted this decision, not only because it occurred to him that this was his enemy's child, but also because the boy recoiled, trembling.
Pulling his hand back quickly, he had to give himself a little shake. He was going soft. Hearing a soft mumbling, Severus looked down and saw the boy beginning to toss and turn even more. Knowing he would have to get Madame Pomfrey, but not wanting to leave Harry's side, he reached down again and gently squeezed the boy's hand.
*Damn,* said the little voice in his head, *you're acting like you care. You just called him Harry.*
*I just want to make sure he's okay,* Severus argued with himself.
*Sure.,* that infernal voice was so irritating.
"Shut up!" he actually said out loud.
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As Harry kept falling through the white fog that was shrouding him, it slowly darkened to gray. He found himself in the world where dreams and consciousness blended together. There was a strange sort of roaring in his ears. Even as he struggled, still free falling, he felt someone put a hand on his shoulder. He jerked away from the touch, thinking it was his uncle coming to punish him for making noise. An instant later, the pressure was released from his shoulder, and Harry felt enormous relief. Shadows started to for in the gray fog clouding his vision, colors began to swirl. As he struggled to focus, writhing around yet unable to control it, he felt someone squeeze his hand. At first, he wanted to recoil, but through his groggy brain, he realized that Vernon Dursley had never given him a reassuring hand- squeeze. An instant later, Harry felt pain ripping viciously through his stomach and sat bolt upright, very much awake.
Dizzy from the sudden movement, Harry attempted to raise a hand to his pounding head, but was too weak. As his vision began to clear, so did his mind. Where was he? As an all too familiar smell of potions and disinfectant stung his nostrils, the realization hit him. The Hospital Wing. As his eyes finally stopped swimming, he realized he could scarcely see because he wasn't wearing his glasses. However, that didn't stop him from recognizing the sallow-faced, hook-nosed man sitting next to him, still squeezing his hand.
Suddenly, a rush of memories came back to him. His uncle stabbing him. Being dragged to the cupboard while his uncle laughed insanely. Laying, dying, on the floor of his cupboard, coughing up blood.
At this, Harry panicked. How much did they know? Ripping his hand away from that of his least favorite professor, he swung his legs off the bed. Everything was out of focus, but he had no idea where his glasses were and couldn't care less. Standing up very quickly, pain shot up his leg and he realized he was wearing a Muggle cast.
Glaring at Snape, who he could vaguely tell looked mildly alarmed, he trued to ask what the hell was going on, but instead began coughing violently. Raising his hands to his mouth by instinct, he felt warm, sticky blood drenching his fingers.
Standing up, Snape said, "You really shouldn't be standing on that leg."
Choking back blood, Harry managed to rasp out, "Why am I in here?"
"Obviously, because you're injured," the older man said, impatience beginning to show on his features.
"How did I get here?" he demanded angrily.
"That will be explained later. It is my turn to ask you a question," said Snape with a look of forced calm. "How did you get those injuries?"
Harry snorted, while desperately thinking up a lie. "Why do you care?"
"Answer my question first."
"I fell down some stairs."
"You got that gash in your stomach by falling down some stairs.?"
"There was a vase at the foot of the stairs. I landed on it. It broke into sharp shards and slashed open my stomach."
Snape looked furious now. "Don't lie to me. I know you're lying. I found you locked in a cupboard, bleeding to death. I'll find out the truth. I'll use Veritaserum if I have to." He whispered all of this in a dangerous undertone.
"I'm not telling you anything else," he replied angrily. "I've already told you the truth. You'd think I would know, seeing as how I was, um, there." He made to walk away, but the room was suddenly spinning. Looking up at the Slytherin professor, he saw that the man was pointing his wand at him.
"I hoped it would be easier than this," he said, almost regretfully. "Stupefy!"
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Severus felt terrible. He hadn't wanted to stun the boy, but he had feared he would become a harm to himself otherwise. As much as he hated the thought of giving Potter Veritaserum. He had to find out what was wrong with the boy. He reached a hand in his robes and fingered the vial of Truth Serum that he always carried with him. He thought briefly of giving it to the boy right then, but faltered. If Potter had been abused, than it would not be helpful for him to be forced into telling his darkest secrets. A sedative potion might calm him down enough into telling the truth.
Sighing, Severus stood up to go down to his storeroom and retrieve a sedative potion.
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Remus Lupin was still sitting at the kitchen table of Grimuald Place, nearly 5 hours after the Order meeting ended. He had finally fallen asleep at the table, only to be waken up by the usual nightmares of his best friend's death. Just as he was about to drift off to sleep again, he heard a tapping on an upstairs window. With a resigned sigh, he got up and went to locate the owl that was sure to be the source of the noise. He wondered who would have anything to write so early in the morning before he realized that it was after eight in the morning. Finding the owl rapping on a grungy drawing room window, he let it is. It had two letters, both addressed in Albus Dumbledore's familiar hand: one to the Order, and one to Ron and Hermione. Picking up the letter to the Order as the bird swooped over to the window, he slit it open and read,
Alastor, Remus, Nymphadora, Arthur, and Molly,
Harry is safe at Hogwarts. An emergency came up and he had to be removed from his aunt and uncle's sooner than expected. Don't worry if he doesn't write to you for a few days, I assure you he is safe.
Albus Dumbledore
These unsettling words in his mind, Remus set the second letter aside.
"An emergency came up?" he read aloud to himself. "What kind of emergency?" Why do you always do this, Albus?"
Sighing, he decided to try and get some sleep. He knew there was supposed to be an Order meeting that afternoon, but maybe he'd be able to get three or four hours' worth.
He had just walked out of the drawing room and shut the door behind him when he saw Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley coming up to him
"Has Harry written lately?" asked the female Gryffindor anxiously, bushy hair almost seeming to crackle with electricity.
"Yesterday, but it wasn't any different from the others," said Remus. The girl's face fell.
"But," he continued, "I did get a letter from Dumbledore addressed to you two just now." He held out the letter and Hermione took it anxiously and tore it open, the gangly redhead reading over her shoulder.
She looked up at Remus, a rare look of bewilderment on her face, and silently handed him the letter. It was along the same lines as the one to the Order.
"I'll let you know when you can come and see him?" Ron said, looking even more confused than Hermione.
Remus made a face. "That's it," he said. "I'm going to Hogwarts to speak to Dumbledore. Tell Molly where I've gone."
With a loud pop, he Disapparated.
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Harry woke feeling curiously groggy and limp, an awful taste lingering in the back of his throat. Blinking blearily and with a great deal of difficulty, he sat up to see the Potions Master staring pensively at him and an empty vial on the bedside table. His eyes widened.
"What did you do?" he asked, noticing that he felt a calm sleepiness.
"I merely gave you a sedative. You can't be moving around on those injuries. Now, I'm going to give you one more chance to tell me the truth before I use Veritaserum. How did you get those injuries? I know you lied to me earlier."
Harry sighed, his mind working fast. "Alright," he said, doing his best to arrange his face in a defeated expression. "I was lying before. I didn't fall down the stairs." Snape gave a satisfied smirk.
"I got in a Muggle fight."
The expression on the man's face would've made Harry laugh had he not been concentrating so hard on lying. "What?"
"I got in a Muggle fight. One of the Muggles stabbed me. Luckily, I was fairly close to my aunt and uncle's house. I was able to get there, but once I was inside I didn't think I could make it up the stairs. It was late and I didn't want to wake anybody up, so I crawled into that cupboard." Looking up, Harry discovered that Snape's face was twisted with rage. He picked up the empty vial at the boy's bedside and threw it against the wall. It shattered, and Harry winced at the outburst.
"Would you quit lying? We're trying to help you, for God's sake!" With those words, he stormed out of the Hospital Wing, leaving a silently trembling Harry.
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Severus was angry. The boy kept lying, and to assume that he wouldn't be able to tell was an insult to his intelligence. However, he couldn't help but feel ashamed of his outburst. He hadn't missed Potter's reaction when the glass vial shattered.
He walked over to his desk and picked up the Veritaserum he had left there earlier. He knew he couldn't use it at the same time as the sedative; the two combined could put a wizard into a comatose state. He'd have to wait a few hours, but then he would know the truth.
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Remus appeared just outside the Hogwarts grounds, unknown to him, much like the way Severus had just hours earlier. He did not sprint, as the Potions Master had, rather he sighed heavily and slowly began climbing the grassy slope, thinking deeply all the while. Why was Albus so evasive?
"Harry's fine, there was an emergency, but don't worry," he muttered darkly to himself. "Honestly, Albus."
Reaching the castle doors, he paused a moment before pushing them open. He couldn't help but notice how eerily empty the castle seemed. His footsteps echoed loudly off the stone walls. His feet were taking him to Albus's office on auto-pilot, and he allowed his mind to wander.
He was a floor below the stone gargoyle guarding the entrance to Dumbledore's office when his when his musings were cut off as he ran into a very solid person.
"Do try and watch your step, Lupin," said Severus irritably. "What are you doing at Hogwarts?"
"Actually, I was looking for Albus," he said conversationally.
For some reason, Severus's eyes flashed at the mention of the headmaster's name, who he had always held in very high regard. "he's in his office, as far as I know," sneered the man ill-temperedly, brushing around Remus without another word.
Remus stared after him for a moment before he remembered what he was doing.
Once he reached the entrance to Dumbledore's office and gave the password, which Order members always had, to the stone gargoyle, Remus felt real worry for the first time. Of course Albus's not had concerned him, but he was just starting to consider all the awful reasons that Harry could be at Hogwarts.
He felt his need to talk with Albus grow more and more urgent as he waited for the revolving staircase to reach its destination.
When the staircase finally came to a grinding halt, it was a heavy- hearted and quite reluctant Lupin who knocked on the headmaster's door.
A few moments later, the face that was normally lit by twinkling eyes and a benign smile appeared, but worry was etched on every line of the man's face. He looked weary and tired.
"Ah, Remus," he said genially. "What a pleasant surprise. Come in, come in." Remus was ushered in and took a seat in front of Albus's desk.
"Albus," he said, quite without preamble, "What was that letter about? Why is Harry here? Is he OK? How-"
"Remus," headmaster patiently interjected, "slow down. Harry is.well, he is alive. That letter was quite useless, but I had to let you know that Harry won't be writing the Order for a few days. As for why he is here, well, he is injured. You will have to ask Harry more about that."
"When can I see him?" Remus asked impatiently.
"Not for awhile. I think we should give him time. I will let the Order, as well as Mr. Weasley and Ms. Granger, know when Harry will be up to having visitors."
"Once he.recovers," Remus asked slowly, " will he be able to come to Grimuald Place?"
"I think," said the Headmaster slowly, "that he may have to remain at Hogwarts for awhile. We shall have to see."
A sudden thought struck the younger man. "Albus," he said, "Harry's birthday us in a week. Surely we'll be able to give him a party?"
Albus smiled. "I suppose that can be allowed. He should be ready for visitors by then."
Remus nodded slowly. "So, how did he get here?"
"Well, Severus says he was leaving the Order meeting this morning when Harry's owl attacked him. He noticed the owl had blood on her, and thought it might be a good idea to check up on him."
"And." Remus pressed.
"And," Dumbledore continued hesitantly, "he found a very out of sorts Harry. His immediate reaction was to bring him here."
"Out of sorts?"
"You'll have to ask Harry himself, perhaps later today you will be able to speak with him. I myself haven't talked to him yet. For now, return to the Order. Tell Harry's friends to plan a surprise party."
Dumbledore's tone left no room for argument, so a heavy-hearted Remus walked back to Hogsmeade and Disapparated.
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A/N: Okay, so another chapter too long in the making finally out. I, as always, apologize for the delay, but nyeh, whatcha gonna do? I have been feeling completely crappy lately, so I might decide to just back off on the writing, but it's not likely. Chapter 5 is already drafted, and it is 28 handwritten pages. Of course, this chapter was 9 ½ pages typed, but about 2 ½ of those pages were review responses. (beams at reviewers) So, I hope the incredibly long upcoming chapter is sufficient motivation for another round of fantastic reviews!
Disclaimer: Hmm.yes, it belongs to me.everything belongs to me!!! It's mine, all mine!!! Okay, if you believed a word of that, stop reading now, find a good friend, and have them beat you over the head with a blunt object. Obviously, its not mine.
WARNING: Language, violence, and OotP spoilers!!!
A/N: When I saw how many people reviewed to Chapter 3, I started bouncing off the walls! I was so excited I thought to myself, "Self, why don't you update sooner to encourage people to review more?" And I replied to myself, "Well, Self, that is the best idea ever!" In short, thank you so much for all the reviews!!! I must admit, this isn't one of my favorite chapters, but it's necessary. It's been written for about 2 weeks.I'm a bit behind on my typing and updating! (ducks as rotten fruit is thrown from various readers) I'm sorry!
Also, you may notice in the future chapters that Harry has tons of mood swings. I can explain that in 3 ways: 1) Harry's a teenager. Being in that pleasant stage of life myself, I can say that mood swings are a constant. 2) Harry's dealing with loss. When people deal with loss, their emotions get screwed up. 3) I have been traveling the great journey of "I- don't-know-what-the-fudge-I'm-feeling" lately, and though mainly I have been horribly depressed, I have also been feeling anger, apathy, and hysteria. Harry's moods are tending to reflect my own.
Review Responses: Wow! So many! I almost died of happiness!
Cinnamon Angel: Yes, it's true, I've become a Snape fan. I have to say, he's become on of my favorite characters, especially in fics. I mean, he can't be a jerk for no reason. I will be revealing some of his reasoning in later chapters. I'm very glad I'm making you like Harry. You made me like Draco!
Siv, the elf: I know! Life's not fair to poor Harry!
Layce74(): Thanks!
Saturnine the Possessive: I don't understand what you mean. I promise, promise, promise, to write a slash story, but this one won't be unless I have more than half of the readers rallying for it, which, unfortunately, they're not. And it's not a Sev. Challenge if that's what you're worried about. My work intrigues you?? I'm honored! I love Firefly Darkness. I suppose you've got a good excuse for not updating. (turns to angry mob behind her) "No, no, not now. Put away the pitchforks. No, you CANNOT throw the potato at Saturnine! She says she's working on it. We'll find someone else to mob later!"
Ahappyitm: Thank you! I promise I'm updating as often as possible!
Maggie(): I have decided there will be no sexual abuse in this story. A lot of people have told me it's way over the top. I think they're right on this one.
Katani Petitedra: I'm afraid.. Yeah, I've decided sexual abuse really wouldn't fit this story, so that one's a no.
Jaycee(): Thanks. I swear (puts hand on OotP book) that it will get more personalized.
Ankha: Hey! I've read your story GSFI! It's wonderful! Didn't you make Pomfrey evil in your story??? Umm.. I don't think I'll make her evil, but she doesn't trust our dear Sev. not many people do.I'm so glad you like my story! I'm doing my best to update, I really am.
Wandering Wolf: Hmmm... I don't think any of those things will happen. I just can't see Harry getting a tattoo, and though I will try to show the Slytherins with more humanity that Rowling does, Malfoy is just too much of a Voldie-supporter. Harry really hates his relatives, and he is incredibly angsty, but he still hates Voldemort with a passion. I mean, if it weren't for our dear Voldie, Sirius wouldn't be dead ad Harry would have parents.
KittenBabyGirl: Thank you! I am definitely doing my best to update! I'm angsting too.maybe a later story. Believe me, this story will still be angst -tacular.
Fairygirl131129: The first time he cried was when he found out James and Lily were dead, yes. I may go into more detail on that later. I'm so glad you like my story!
Cccc(): Thanks! I plan to update as often as possible!!!
Jliles(): Thanks! I try!
XSnapeLoverx: Sorry, it's not a Sevi. Challenge, but Snape will still be slowly feeling more compassion. Don't worry, it's not going to all of a sudden be, "I love you like a son, Harry!" and, "You're like a father to me!". By the way, I love your name.
t.a.g.0: Cutting is a possibility, but right now it's about 75-25 for no cutting. And sexual abuse wouldn't work with this story.
Yami no Hikari Hime: Um, yeah, no slash or abuse. That's something I have pretty much decided. No! PLEASE don't take my shiny foil!
DarkJewel: That's a really interesting idea.have our dear Harry learn to become an Animagus.what kind of animal, though?
DaughterofDeath: Short, but encouraging. Thanks!
Megz2: Thanks much. I will try to update often.
Chibi(): I'm sorry, but it looks as if this story will not be slash.
Ckat44(): Thank you so much!!! I'm happy you're clapping for me. That sounds like something I would do! I am updating as often as possible, but ummm, well, when you're a band geek/ tennie/ Honors student/ thespian/ churchy-girl..well, it's hard to stay on top of things! (
Saf Saf: Thanks! I was probably wrong, but I needed a password. Although "Cockroach Cluster" was a password in Harry's fourth year. Harry-Ginny is good. I am pushing for Snape as Main Character #2, but Remus will be very influential.
Amber 16: Thanks. I can't believe you guys! You're way too nice to me! I'm getting a big head!
Momma-dar: Thanks so much!
Jules():Thanks!
Me(): Thanks for the input. I don't intend to make it slash, abuse, or over PG-13.
Carla Shaqui: Thanks! I don't think this story will have sexual abuse, though. A lot of people have said they don't like it. I will try fir Dumbledore and the Weasleys, but at this moment I am already drafting Chapter 6.
Viskii: Thanks!
Fickle: Thanks!!! I intend to keep at it! Oh, and why must Ginny die??? I was curious about your e-mail address.
A/N: I am truly sorry if I have forgotten anyone. There were just so many of you!!!! On with Chapter 4!
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Harry was having a very strange dream indeed. He again found himself running to the Department of Mysteries, as he had so often in his 5th year, but this time, instead of finding himself in the room with the Prophecies, he was in the room with that God-awful archway. He had a brief glimpse of the raised stone benches and fluttering black veil before the room began to melt away from him. He could no longer feel the floor supporting him. He was floating in a strange and almost erethreal silvery-white mist.
As he watched two dim figures approached. He let out a choked noise when they drew nearer. He was standing face-to-face with his parents. Their mouths did not move, but he heard their voices, as if they were speaking to him from very far away. "Harry, we gave our lives for you, and look how you have repaid us. You couldn't even stand up to a Muggle man. You've failed us, Harry." "No," he attempted to cry out, but only a muffled sound came out, and his parents were rapidly fading. However, as quickly as his parents had faded, they were replaced with a single figure. Cedric Diggory's face swam into view. "Harry," his voice said mournfully, "you let Voldemort kill me. You're supposed to be able to defeat him. You let me die." Harry didn't even try to speak, because he couldn't deny anything Cedric had said. Cedric's form faded, and another appeared. The sight made Harry feel as though someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over his head. "Harry," said Sirius sadly, "you've killed me. I'll never see my name cleared, because you killed me." His dark eyes were accusatory. He faded, and then all four figures appeared. Sirius, Cedric, and his parents all leered at him, hissing, "Murderer. Murderer! Murderer!" "You've killed us, Harry!" said Lily. "You are no son of mine," said James.
"No!" Harry cried out, finally finding his voice. "I'm sorry!"
"Sorry won't bring us back to life, Harry," said Sirius sadly.
"No!" he shouted again, but all four figures were dissolving rapidly and he was falling down through a cloak of heavy white fog.
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Severus, who had been in the hospital for the last four hours, just watching Potter sleep, was about to drowse himself when he noticed that the boy's breathing had changed. He was stirring slightly and making slight whimpering noises. Looking closer, Severus realized that his eyes were slightly open, but they were glazed and he seemed quite unaware of his surroundings. Instinctively, the Potions Master reached out and put a hand on the child's shoulder. He immediately regretted this decision, not only because it occurred to him that this was his enemy's child, but also because the boy recoiled, trembling.
Pulling his hand back quickly, he had to give himself a little shake. He was going soft. Hearing a soft mumbling, Severus looked down and saw the boy beginning to toss and turn even more. Knowing he would have to get Madame Pomfrey, but not wanting to leave Harry's side, he reached down again and gently squeezed the boy's hand.
*Damn,* said the little voice in his head, *you're acting like you care. You just called him Harry.*
*I just want to make sure he's okay,* Severus argued with himself.
*Sure.,* that infernal voice was so irritating.
"Shut up!" he actually said out loud.
****************************
As Harry kept falling through the white fog that was shrouding him, it slowly darkened to gray. He found himself in the world where dreams and consciousness blended together. There was a strange sort of roaring in his ears. Even as he struggled, still free falling, he felt someone put a hand on his shoulder. He jerked away from the touch, thinking it was his uncle coming to punish him for making noise. An instant later, the pressure was released from his shoulder, and Harry felt enormous relief. Shadows started to for in the gray fog clouding his vision, colors began to swirl. As he struggled to focus, writhing around yet unable to control it, he felt someone squeeze his hand. At first, he wanted to recoil, but through his groggy brain, he realized that Vernon Dursley had never given him a reassuring hand- squeeze. An instant later, Harry felt pain ripping viciously through his stomach and sat bolt upright, very much awake.
Dizzy from the sudden movement, Harry attempted to raise a hand to his pounding head, but was too weak. As his vision began to clear, so did his mind. Where was he? As an all too familiar smell of potions and disinfectant stung his nostrils, the realization hit him. The Hospital Wing. As his eyes finally stopped swimming, he realized he could scarcely see because he wasn't wearing his glasses. However, that didn't stop him from recognizing the sallow-faced, hook-nosed man sitting next to him, still squeezing his hand.
Suddenly, a rush of memories came back to him. His uncle stabbing him. Being dragged to the cupboard while his uncle laughed insanely. Laying, dying, on the floor of his cupboard, coughing up blood.
At this, Harry panicked. How much did they know? Ripping his hand away from that of his least favorite professor, he swung his legs off the bed. Everything was out of focus, but he had no idea where his glasses were and couldn't care less. Standing up very quickly, pain shot up his leg and he realized he was wearing a Muggle cast.
Glaring at Snape, who he could vaguely tell looked mildly alarmed, he trued to ask what the hell was going on, but instead began coughing violently. Raising his hands to his mouth by instinct, he felt warm, sticky blood drenching his fingers.
Standing up, Snape said, "You really shouldn't be standing on that leg."
Choking back blood, Harry managed to rasp out, "Why am I in here?"
"Obviously, because you're injured," the older man said, impatience beginning to show on his features.
"How did I get here?" he demanded angrily.
"That will be explained later. It is my turn to ask you a question," said Snape with a look of forced calm. "How did you get those injuries?"
Harry snorted, while desperately thinking up a lie. "Why do you care?"
"Answer my question first."
"I fell down some stairs."
"You got that gash in your stomach by falling down some stairs.?"
"There was a vase at the foot of the stairs. I landed on it. It broke into sharp shards and slashed open my stomach."
Snape looked furious now. "Don't lie to me. I know you're lying. I found you locked in a cupboard, bleeding to death. I'll find out the truth. I'll use Veritaserum if I have to." He whispered all of this in a dangerous undertone.
"I'm not telling you anything else," he replied angrily. "I've already told you the truth. You'd think I would know, seeing as how I was, um, there." He made to walk away, but the room was suddenly spinning. Looking up at the Slytherin professor, he saw that the man was pointing his wand at him.
"I hoped it would be easier than this," he said, almost regretfully. "Stupefy!"
************************
Severus felt terrible. He hadn't wanted to stun the boy, but he had feared he would become a harm to himself otherwise. As much as he hated the thought of giving Potter Veritaserum. He had to find out what was wrong with the boy. He reached a hand in his robes and fingered the vial of Truth Serum that he always carried with him. He thought briefly of giving it to the boy right then, but faltered. If Potter had been abused, than it would not be helpful for him to be forced into telling his darkest secrets. A sedative potion might calm him down enough into telling the truth.
Sighing, Severus stood up to go down to his storeroom and retrieve a sedative potion.
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Remus Lupin was still sitting at the kitchen table of Grimuald Place, nearly 5 hours after the Order meeting ended. He had finally fallen asleep at the table, only to be waken up by the usual nightmares of his best friend's death. Just as he was about to drift off to sleep again, he heard a tapping on an upstairs window. With a resigned sigh, he got up and went to locate the owl that was sure to be the source of the noise. He wondered who would have anything to write so early in the morning before he realized that it was after eight in the morning. Finding the owl rapping on a grungy drawing room window, he let it is. It had two letters, both addressed in Albus Dumbledore's familiar hand: one to the Order, and one to Ron and Hermione. Picking up the letter to the Order as the bird swooped over to the window, he slit it open and read,
Alastor, Remus, Nymphadora, Arthur, and Molly,
Harry is safe at Hogwarts. An emergency came up and he had to be removed from his aunt and uncle's sooner than expected. Don't worry if he doesn't write to you for a few days, I assure you he is safe.
Albus Dumbledore
These unsettling words in his mind, Remus set the second letter aside.
"An emergency came up?" he read aloud to himself. "What kind of emergency?" Why do you always do this, Albus?"
Sighing, he decided to try and get some sleep. He knew there was supposed to be an Order meeting that afternoon, but maybe he'd be able to get three or four hours' worth.
He had just walked out of the drawing room and shut the door behind him when he saw Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley coming up to him
"Has Harry written lately?" asked the female Gryffindor anxiously, bushy hair almost seeming to crackle with electricity.
"Yesterday, but it wasn't any different from the others," said Remus. The girl's face fell.
"But," he continued, "I did get a letter from Dumbledore addressed to you two just now." He held out the letter and Hermione took it anxiously and tore it open, the gangly redhead reading over her shoulder.
She looked up at Remus, a rare look of bewilderment on her face, and silently handed him the letter. It was along the same lines as the one to the Order.
"I'll let you know when you can come and see him?" Ron said, looking even more confused than Hermione.
Remus made a face. "That's it," he said. "I'm going to Hogwarts to speak to Dumbledore. Tell Molly where I've gone."
With a loud pop, he Disapparated.
************************
Harry woke feeling curiously groggy and limp, an awful taste lingering in the back of his throat. Blinking blearily and with a great deal of difficulty, he sat up to see the Potions Master staring pensively at him and an empty vial on the bedside table. His eyes widened.
"What did you do?" he asked, noticing that he felt a calm sleepiness.
"I merely gave you a sedative. You can't be moving around on those injuries. Now, I'm going to give you one more chance to tell me the truth before I use Veritaserum. How did you get those injuries? I know you lied to me earlier."
Harry sighed, his mind working fast. "Alright," he said, doing his best to arrange his face in a defeated expression. "I was lying before. I didn't fall down the stairs." Snape gave a satisfied smirk.
"I got in a Muggle fight."
The expression on the man's face would've made Harry laugh had he not been concentrating so hard on lying. "What?"
"I got in a Muggle fight. One of the Muggles stabbed me. Luckily, I was fairly close to my aunt and uncle's house. I was able to get there, but once I was inside I didn't think I could make it up the stairs. It was late and I didn't want to wake anybody up, so I crawled into that cupboard." Looking up, Harry discovered that Snape's face was twisted with rage. He picked up the empty vial at the boy's bedside and threw it against the wall. It shattered, and Harry winced at the outburst.
"Would you quit lying? We're trying to help you, for God's sake!" With those words, he stormed out of the Hospital Wing, leaving a silently trembling Harry.
*****************************
Severus was angry. The boy kept lying, and to assume that he wouldn't be able to tell was an insult to his intelligence. However, he couldn't help but feel ashamed of his outburst. He hadn't missed Potter's reaction when the glass vial shattered.
He walked over to his desk and picked up the Veritaserum he had left there earlier. He knew he couldn't use it at the same time as the sedative; the two combined could put a wizard into a comatose state. He'd have to wait a few hours, but then he would know the truth.
*******************************
Remus appeared just outside the Hogwarts grounds, unknown to him, much like the way Severus had just hours earlier. He did not sprint, as the Potions Master had, rather he sighed heavily and slowly began climbing the grassy slope, thinking deeply all the while. Why was Albus so evasive?
"Harry's fine, there was an emergency, but don't worry," he muttered darkly to himself. "Honestly, Albus."
Reaching the castle doors, he paused a moment before pushing them open. He couldn't help but notice how eerily empty the castle seemed. His footsteps echoed loudly off the stone walls. His feet were taking him to Albus's office on auto-pilot, and he allowed his mind to wander.
He was a floor below the stone gargoyle guarding the entrance to Dumbledore's office when his when his musings were cut off as he ran into a very solid person.
"Do try and watch your step, Lupin," said Severus irritably. "What are you doing at Hogwarts?"
"Actually, I was looking for Albus," he said conversationally.
For some reason, Severus's eyes flashed at the mention of the headmaster's name, who he had always held in very high regard. "he's in his office, as far as I know," sneered the man ill-temperedly, brushing around Remus without another word.
Remus stared after him for a moment before he remembered what he was doing.
Once he reached the entrance to Dumbledore's office and gave the password, which Order members always had, to the stone gargoyle, Remus felt real worry for the first time. Of course Albus's not had concerned him, but he was just starting to consider all the awful reasons that Harry could be at Hogwarts.
He felt his need to talk with Albus grow more and more urgent as he waited for the revolving staircase to reach its destination.
When the staircase finally came to a grinding halt, it was a heavy- hearted and quite reluctant Lupin who knocked on the headmaster's door.
A few moments later, the face that was normally lit by twinkling eyes and a benign smile appeared, but worry was etched on every line of the man's face. He looked weary and tired.
"Ah, Remus," he said genially. "What a pleasant surprise. Come in, come in." Remus was ushered in and took a seat in front of Albus's desk.
"Albus," he said, quite without preamble, "What was that letter about? Why is Harry here? Is he OK? How-"
"Remus," headmaster patiently interjected, "slow down. Harry is.well, he is alive. That letter was quite useless, but I had to let you know that Harry won't be writing the Order for a few days. As for why he is here, well, he is injured. You will have to ask Harry more about that."
"When can I see him?" Remus asked impatiently.
"Not for awhile. I think we should give him time. I will let the Order, as well as Mr. Weasley and Ms. Granger, know when Harry will be up to having visitors."
"Once he.recovers," Remus asked slowly, " will he be able to come to Grimuald Place?"
"I think," said the Headmaster slowly, "that he may have to remain at Hogwarts for awhile. We shall have to see."
A sudden thought struck the younger man. "Albus," he said, "Harry's birthday us in a week. Surely we'll be able to give him a party?"
Albus smiled. "I suppose that can be allowed. He should be ready for visitors by then."
Remus nodded slowly. "So, how did he get here?"
"Well, Severus says he was leaving the Order meeting this morning when Harry's owl attacked him. He noticed the owl had blood on her, and thought it might be a good idea to check up on him."
"And." Remus pressed.
"And," Dumbledore continued hesitantly, "he found a very out of sorts Harry. His immediate reaction was to bring him here."
"Out of sorts?"
"You'll have to ask Harry himself, perhaps later today you will be able to speak with him. I myself haven't talked to him yet. For now, return to the Order. Tell Harry's friends to plan a surprise party."
Dumbledore's tone left no room for argument, so a heavy-hearted Remus walked back to Hogsmeade and Disapparated.
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A/N: Okay, so another chapter too long in the making finally out. I, as always, apologize for the delay, but nyeh, whatcha gonna do? I have been feeling completely crappy lately, so I might decide to just back off on the writing, but it's not likely. Chapter 5 is already drafted, and it is 28 handwritten pages. Of course, this chapter was 9 ½ pages typed, but about 2 ½ of those pages were review responses. (beams at reviewers) So, I hope the incredibly long upcoming chapter is sufficient motivation for another round of fantastic reviews!