Suffering, Chapter 5
Disclaimer: Yeah, Harry Potter belongs to me. The internet, that's another brainchild of mine. Oh, and did I tell you about how I own the Disney Corporation? Yup! I'm THAT smart, rich, and successful!
(Laughter)
Okay, so that's a lie. I OWN NOTHING! Not Harry Potter, not the internet, not Disney, not even this shirt I'm wearing that I stole form my sister! So don't sue me!
A/N: Another chapter finally coming out. I have no clue how long it will take to type, but it was 26 pages handwritten, so. Anyhow, another truckload of reviews from my loyal readers. (Have I told you guys how happy reviews make me? Last chapter I was dancing around my house as I checked my reviews.at midnight!) But before I do review responses, I have a few things to say. There will be much more Harry POV in the coming chapter. I realize I've been skipping POVs a lot, but it's been necessary. Expect Ron or Hermione POV soon, maybe even Ginny. Anyway, I don't know about you guys, but to me this story seems to be moving incredibly slowly. I swear I will pick up the pace, but there's so much going on. As always, constructive criticism and requests are greatly appreciated!
Review responses:
Daughter of Death: Thanks for reviewing!
BipolarGirl: Thanks! I've stayed up late-errr..early .to read Harry abuse fics as well! To say that I live them is an understatement! I thrive off them!
Zorra: Oh, the enthusiasm!
Viskii: In regards to the Stunning, Snape isn't that patient. I may have overdone it, but here's my reasoning: He's tired, he's angry, he's been rather pissed off since Voldemort's return anyway, and all the beliefs he had about Harry Potter dissolved in about 2 minutes. He hated Harry's dad, but he doesn't want to admit that that's why he hates Harry. He's been using the excuse that Harry is pampered and spoiled and selfish and overconfident. He finds out it's no true and rather than become all compassionate (because it's Severus Snape we're talking about now) he snaps. He's confused, and we all know how much our dear Severus likes being confused.
Saf-Saf: Well.Snape is using Veritaserum! I've had this chapter written forever, and I don't know how else Snape is going to find out, because the angsting, teenage Harry isn't going to break down and admit this to him. I am doing my best to keep Snape in character for all of this- we're going to chalk it all up to the fact that he hasn't slept in the last 48 hours or so.
Lady Lightning: Yeah, Harry doesn't seem like the type to lie so bluntly, but look at it this way: Harry is ashamed that he couldn't stand up to a Muggle-I mean he's supposed to be this great hero. Also he thinks he deserved it because of OotP. Also, after Padfoot died, he just doesn't care anymore.
Serpent of Light: Thanks!
Padfoot(): Don't worry, I don't find it rude, I find it encouraging.
KittenBabyGirl: Hmmm.that is a little contradictory. Oh, well. I am also one of those psychos who is made happy by angst.
Katani Petitedra: Wow! I swear, we have got to be related, considering that we are both erm. a little crazy.
DoctorRuth126: Thanks! I'm glad you like what I've got going with Sev.
Beaury7890102: You will see in this chapter how Sev finds out the truth. It's a long one!
Angel of Darkness 4584: Thanks! I'm so flattered!
Quickjewel: Wow I got 3 reviews from you! Are you offering to beta for me? I think I have FINALLY fixed the format!
Mikee: Snape definitely has plans in store for Vernon. The whole Order plans to swoop down on him.
Layce74(): Once this story stops moving so slow (blame the muses), the Dursley's will get theirs.
Skysong1: Thnks. Yeah. I'm pure evil.
StarWest45: Yeah, I will write the others in soon! I just have to get this story moving! It seems really slow to me.
Iniysa: Thanks!
Ginnygal 189: Thanks!
Ahappyjtm: Awww! My story makes you dance, and you're willing to wait for updates! You are the perfect reader!
Ckat44: Yeah I figured out that something was wrong once I looked at my chapter..but I am lazy! One of these days, I'll get around to fixing everything up.one of these days.
POtASSIUM: I blush! All I can say for why I write the way I do is that I have been reading every book I can get my hands on since I was 4 or 5. Sorry the updates are slow-moving, but I've got much more than this written.it's typing that's the problem.
Wynjara: Yes, angst can be quite lovable, can't it?
Becky: Here, I added more. (winces) So I am a super-slacker when it comes to updating..
Cinnamon Angel: Okay, you win longest review award! (holds out rubber duckie-shaped trophy) Why is it a rubber duckie, you ask? Because ducks are a symbol of all that is good in the world!! Anyway, I'm sorry I didn't check your story right away! I guess I got so used to you not updating that I stopped checking. Okay, that was mean.And no, I didn't like Draco before. I thought he was a prick. Your story makes him much more likable. And you are right- lunatics shall rule the earth! Muahaha.
A/N: Okay, so many reviews! Not that I'm complaining! Oh, before I start the chapter I am now using bold letters to show thought because I can't get italics to transfer from word to fanfiction.net. Nyeh.
And here starts.(dun dun dun)... Chapter 5!
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Harry had been laying back staring lethargically at the ceiling, trying to keep himself calm, for about ten minutes after Snape had left when Madame Pomfrey came bustling out, looking rather tired.
"Oh, good, you're awake," she said briskly.
Harry said nothing, just kept staring at the ceiling. The nurse tutted at him. Normally, Harry would have been demanding to know how much longer he would have to be cooped up in the Hospital wing, but he realized he no longer cared.
"Drink this," she said simply holding out a vial.
"Harry started to ask what it was as he sat up, but his question was cut off as he gasped from a sudden, piercing pain in his stomach that hadn't been there earlier.
"Oh, dear," said the nurse, noticing. "I'll need to get you another Pain-Reducing Potion. That," she said, as a pale-faced Harry regained his composure and held his hand out for the vial, "is a Blood Replenishing Potion."
Harry took the opened vial and downed it in one unpleasant gulp. An instant later, Madame Pomfrey had walked away and returned with another potion. She held it out and he took it, again downing it quickly.
"So," the nurse said with an air of motherly disapproval, as Harry sank back down onto the hospital bed, "I suppose you'll want to know what your injuries are and how long I'll have you here."
"To be honest, Madame Pomfrey, I really would rather be left alone," said the teenager flatly.
"I'm afraid that's not an option, because the Headmaster wishes to speak with you," said the woman, rather taken aback by Harry's apparent lack of emotion.
Harry, who would have been overjoyed had the headmaster so much as made eye contact with him the year before, felt a surge of anger flare up inside him. "Well, I don't want to talk to him! I don't want to talk to anybody!" Without another word, Harry rolled over to face the wall.
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Ron and Hermione waited anxiously in the kitchen of #12 for Remus Lupin to get back from Hogwarts. Ron could tell that Hermione was nervous; she kept sighing and playing with the hem of her shirt, and her bushy hair seemed to crackle with electricity because she kept running her hands through it.
"Hermione," Ron counseled gently, "relax! I'm sure Dumbledore would have told us if something was terribly wrong."
" Yes," she began, "but what if Dumbledore was just trying to keep us from going to Hogwarts along with Lupin?"
"Look," said Ron patiently, "what you really need to do is take your mind off things. I need to get started on that History of Magic essay."
Hermione's eyes usually lit up at the mention of reading or schoolwork, but for once she seemed completely uninterested. Rolling her eyes, she said, "Oh, please, Ron. Homework isn't going to take my mind off the fact that we have no idea what is wrong with our best friend!"
Ron cowered. "Sorry, Hermione, just an idea," he put his hands up defensively.
She was scowling at him when a loud pop announced Lupin's presence. Startled, the bushy-haired girl shrieked and jumped backwards.
"Did I startle you?" asked Remus innocently.
"Just.just a little," muttered Hermione, cheeks flushed, as Ron grinned. "Never mind," she said quickly, throwing the redhead a scathing look. "Just tell us what's going on already! Is Harry okay? Is he hurt? What did Dumbledore say? Have you seen Harry?" All of this was asked in quick succession.
"Slow down!" said Remus, looking rather alarmed. "from what little Albus told me, Harry's okay, but as the Headmaster chose to put it, 'out of sorts'. I haven't talked to Harry. I haven't even seen him. Dumbledore says that after the Order meeting ended this morning, Professor Snape was leaving when an owl he recognized as Harry's swooped down on him, apparently very agitated. Severus thought it might be wise to check on Harry and found him 'out of sorts'. That's all he told me." The man gave a tired sigh and slumped back into his chair dejectedly.
Ron, meanwhile, gave a snort of disbelief. "Snape saved Harry? How do we know Snape wasn't in a foul mood and didn't just decide to curse him?"
"Really, Ron, how many times have you said that exact same thing, only to have it come back and bite you in the a-," Hermione stopped quickly, her cheeks now a deep crimson, a hand clamped firmly over her mouth. Slowly, she lowered her hand, throwing Ron, who was now trembling with silent laughter, another dirty look. "I mean, how many times have you said that, only to come out looking like a fool when Snape tried to save Harry's life?"
"Anyway," said Ron, eager to change the subject, "what does he mean, 'out of sorts'? That could mean anything! Why doesn't he ever tell anyone what's going on?"
Hermione just looked at Remus again. "When can we see him?" she asked suddenly.
"Albus says we may plan something for his birthday."
"But that's not till next week!" blurted out Ron.
"Yes," said Remus sadly. "The headmaster feels it would be best to leave Harry alone for awhile. I don't know what happened, but it's clear that Albus thinks he's been traumatized."
The two teenagers just stared at him.
"Hey," said Remus, "what're we waiting for? Someone get Gred and Forge- err, Fred and George, I'm sure they'd be more than happy to help us plan a party!"
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Poppy Pomfrey sat in her office, poring listlessly over her paperwork. Every so often, she would glance through her open door to the end of the Hospital Wing where Harry Potter lay motionless. Awake, by all means, but he had refused to speak to anyone, save a few words with her earlier. He had waken over an hour ago, and had been staring transfixed at the ceiling the entire time. It seemed he had fallen back asleep as he tossed and turned, muttering words the nurse couldn't quite grasp. He began to thrash violently, and she hurried over to his bedside, Sure enough, his eyes were closed. Poppy was now close enough to her the boy's muttering, aided by the fact that his words were slowly becoming more and more audible.
"No," moaned the pitiable figure. "Please, no." he faded off, shuddering.
Poppy couldn't just stand there, but she knew from experience that the boy couldn't be physically roused without a spell. She went to her office to retrieve her wand, which she had foolishly left there.
By the time she had returned with her wand, as well as a Dreamless Sleep Potion for Harry's use, his face was white and he was clutching the sheets. He suddenly cried out in pain.
"Please stop, Uncle Vernon!"
Poppy gave a sudden start and nearly dropped the vial. Had the boy's home life really been so brutal that it caused him nightmares?
As the child began thrashing again, the nurse drew out her wand and whispered softly, "Ennervate."
Blinking wearily, Harry sat up and looked around frantically. He relaxed as soon as he realized where he was and laid back down.
"You were having a nightmare," said Poppy quietly. "There's some Dreamless Sleep Potion there on the table, should you decide to go back to sleep."
The teenager just nodded at her, eyes blank and empty once again. As she turned on her heel to head back to her office, she thought she heard a sort of snuffling. She had just gotten immersed in her paperwork when she heard the door open.
Standing up quickly, she glanced towards Harry to see that he hadn't reacted to the loud noise before turning her attention to the door.
"Good morning, Albus, what brings you here?"
The headmaster gave a sad sort of smile. "I was wondering if I could have a moment to speak with Mr. Potter."
"Of course," she said. "He's right over here." She led Albus over to the bed where Harry still lay motionless. "I'll just leave you two at it then," she said, heading to her office. "Good luck," she whispered to the headmaster as she passed him.
Without a second look behind her, Poppy shut the door to her office. Something told her she didn't want to witness the conversation to come.
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The instant he woke from his nightmare, Harry panicked. Had he been screaming again? Had he waken his uncle up?
Opening his eyes, it took him about three seconds to come to the grateful realization that he wasn't at Privet Drive. That realization was followed by the memory of his brief talk with Severus Snape.
Harry had just begun to fall back into his silent lethargic state when he heard the door open. He knew it was probably someone that wanted to talk to him, maybe Snape returning with Veritaserum, but he didn't care. He didn't care about anything anymore.
He heard Madame Pomfrey bustling about, but still refused to take his eyes off the ceiling. A minute later, after a brief exchange between the nurse and the visitor, who was evidently Dumbledore, the headmaster's face appeared over him.
"Hello, Harry," he said. Harry remained silent, although he felt a sudden flare of anger at the mere sight of the elderly man. However, he chose to embrace the fact that he felt anything at all. Dumbledore seemed to take Harry's silence as an indication that he was listening.
"I was wondering," he pressed on gently, "if you wanted to talk about anything.
Harry continued his stony silence, refusing to look at the man who had sent him back to hell. He had dealt silently with his home life for fifteen years, so what made the headmaster think he was suddenly going to open up?
Almost as if the obstinate man's penetrating gaze had seen the depths of his mind, Dumbledore asked, "How did you get those injuries, Harry?"
When Harry again refused to answer, the older man decided to switch tact.
"Well," he said, "you will be pleased to know that your lifelong Quidditch ban has been revoked, and, if you wish, you are free to play for Gryffindor again. Your broom was removed from Professor Umbridge's office at the end of last year, and has been at the castle since."
Harry felt his rage at the man magnified ten fold. Before he realized what had happened, he was on his feet, unsteady on his mismatched legs. Clearly the sedative had worn off, or perhaps it had not been strong enough.
"Stop it!" he cried. "Stop acting like everything's okay- like it's- it's NORMAL! You're talking about Quidditch and broomsticks like everything's fine! Stop acting like you understand me! Don't you even care that he's dead?"
Harry stopped shouting, breathing heavily, his eyes blurred with tears. Staring at the man in front of him who remained calm, he somehow managed to sprint out of the hospital wing despite his cast. He kept running and didn't slow down until he ran into a very solid person, who unfortunately happened to be Severus Snape.
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Severus was in a foul mood, even by his standards. After a useless meeting, severe lack of sleep, finding Potter and then having to hear Potter's lies, he was virtually a walking explosion. Therefore, he was none too happy when a small figure collided with him about two corridors away from the hospital wing.
Severus, feeling very short-tempered, looked around and snarled violently, "Watch where you're going!" It was then that he realized it was Potter who had run into him. The boy was now collecting himself, cast and all, and cowering in fear.
Snape opened his mouth to say calming words, but before he could, the crumpled teenager began to apologize frantically. Rocking back and forth, he shuddered and cried out, "I'm sorry, Uncle Vernon." . The begging was enough to pluck at even Snape's frozen heartstrings.
When he bent down to calm him, he noticed Harry was still wearing only bandages on his upper body. The strangeness of Poppy allowing one of her patients to walk around on a leg that was not fully healed and without the help of a cane or crutch also struck Severus. He conjectured that the younger wizard had run from the Hospital Wing for some reason or another.
Bending down, Severus gently shook the child, but he seemed to be having a sort of seizure. Trembling violently, he suddenly heard a scream to chill his blood. He had heard those kinds of screams before, on nights that haunted his memories and plagued his dreams. Potter's screams were the screams of a tortured victim, screams that always made him remember his Death Eater days.
Forgetting his earlier anger, Severus only felt a rare surge of pity as he sank to the floor and held the sobbing Harry. After several seconds, he began to take deep breaths, and his shuddering slowed.
After a moment, he raised his head and seemed to realize that the Potions Master was comforting him. Moving away, the chalk-white teenager rolled to his hands and knees and began to vomit violently.
After several seconds, he slowly sat back on his heels and wiped his mouth. Standing up, he said to the professor, who was halfway to his feet and reaching for his wand, "I'm sorry. I'll clean it up."
The older man said nothing, just raised an eyebrow at Harry and muttered, "Scourgify." Instantly, the stone floor was clean again.
The teenager gazed up at him blankly. "Sorry," he whispered. "I had a flashback."
"About what?"
"Voldermort's return."
Snape knew the boy was lying, but the green eyes-Lily's eyes- remained amazingly blank. His bad mood returning, he said sarcastically, "Oh? Is the Dark Lord now going by the alter-ego 'Uncle Vernon'?"
A slight twinge of guilt swirled in Harry's eyes, but he was spared answering when Madame Pomfrey came zooming towards him faster than one would have thought possible.
"Mr. Potter!" She shrieked like a banshee. She may not have noticed the boy jump back and flinch at her tone, but Severus did.
Trembling, Harry began to apologize but the nurse stopped him. "Just come on. Wait, no, you shouldn't even be walking." The witch waved her wand and conjured a stretcher. She looked at the boy expectantly. "Well, what are you waiting for, boy?"
Potter, for some reason, flinched at the way the nurse addressed him, though her tone wasn't violent. He began to protest, muttering, "I can walk fine."
"Potter," said Severus, "get on the stretcher, or I will make you." He did not miss the fear that briefly flickered into his eyes, but Snape was much too impatient to care. Harry looked as though he would very much like to flee again, but hadn't the energy for it. He slowly began to limp towards the stretcher, but he collapsed and fell to the floor.
"Severus." Poppy pleaded. He nodded reluctantly and slid his arms under Harry, lifting him up. He was incredibly light for a sixteen-year-old boy. Severus figured he weighed what someone half his age should. The child flinched, for the third time in several minutes, at the mere touch of the Slytherin's hands. Fighting the urge to dump the boy back on the floor, Severus lowered him onto the stretcher.
The tiny spark of life that had shot up in the Gryffindor was extinguished, his eyes blank again. He sat, rather than laid, on the stretcher, suddenly seeming quite indifferent to his surroundings.
Once the unlikely trio was back at the hospital wing, Madame Pomfrey had Severus lower Harry onto the hospital bed. Dumbledore was nowhere in sight.
"I thought Albus was here," remarked Snape casually.
"He was, but when he tried to talk with Harry, Harry started shouting and ran away. Albus hurried to inform me, then left.
Severus nodded and walked away towards the door of the ward. He pulled out his wand and traced the doorframe, whispering a few well-chosen words. A burst of blue light shot out of his wand and momentarily framed the door before melting into the woodwork.
Turning back to Potter, he said, "That was an alarm spell. Both Madame Pomfrey and myself will know if you attempt to leave this ward."
The boy stared at him. "Fine," he said, quite without emotion.
"Now," interjected the nurse, "you haven't eaten properly in some time and you are dangerously underweight." She waved her wand and a bowl of oatmeal appeared, floating in midair.
"I'm not hungry, thanks."
Severus growled, losing any remaining trace of patience. "Eat it, or I will force you to."
The boy stubbornly refused to touch the food.
"Very well, it's your choice. Poppy." He nodded at her and grabbed the bowl.
The mediwitch looked highly affronted. :He is my patient, Severus."
"Yes, but you will not force him to eat, which is what he needs. I will, and I need to be the only one in the room with him. You can watch from your office for all I care." The woman looked as though she felt quite wrong-footed, but went into her office and shut the door.
Severus glared at the stony-faced child before him. "I will give you one more chance before I force-feed you." He held out the bowl. Potter just stubbornly pushed it away. "As you wish." Snape dipped the spoon in the oatmeal and held it less than a centimeter away from the child's mouth. He ignored it. Sighing, the older man pinched the boy's nose shut. Surprised, Harry did nothing for several seconds, before opening his mouth and gasping for breath. Seizing the opportunity, he shoved the oatmeal into Harry's mouth and released his nose.
"Chew," he commanded. The teen did as he was told. "Swallow." Harry gulped, still glaring at Severus, who stared right back at him. "Now, shall we repeat this process, or will you eat on your own?"
His response was silence, but the boy took the bowl and began eating. He ate several bites with excruciating slowness before setting the bowl down wordlessly.
"That will do for now," said the Potions Master sternly. "There are a few things I want to make very clear to you. Are you listening?"
Something flickered briefly in the child's eyes, but they immediately became blank again. He nodded dully.
"Good," said the professor curtly. "First off, you are not to lie. This means to Madame Pomfrey, the headmaster, or myself. We need to know how you got those injuries, but we are not going to question you further than necessary. You know I could just as easily use Veritaserum, but I don't want to. Furthermore, as you know, I am to continue giving you Occlumency lessons. Professor Dumbledore believes it would be useful for you to make a Pensieve."
As the older man spoke, he noticed that Potter's face remained passively blank.
"So," said the Slytherin, "how did you get those injuries?"
"Well, you see, there was this bull-fighting accident.". The boy hardly spoke above a whisper, but the sarcasm in his tone was quite clear to Severus.
In an instant, Severus was towering over Potter, eyes glittering maliciously. "I will not tolerate this!" he hissed dangerously. "It is necessary that we know the nature of your injuries if you want to make sure they heal properly. You do want your injuries healed?"
The boy stared at him for a moment before he said, deadpan, "No."
Snape sighed. "You are making things much more difficult than they need to be." He pulled a small vial of clear liquid from his robes.
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Harry saw Snape take the vial from his robes and panicked. He would not take Veritaserum. There were a great many things that he didn't want Snape to know about him. He had spent years building himself a false persona to hide behind, he wouldn't lose it now.
"I will ask you one more time for the truth," said his professor in a cold, icy voice.
Harry slowly opened his mouth. "Fuck off," he whispered.
"Very well."
Harry felt a sudden sleepiness fall over him and sank into a deep stupor.
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Harry woke slowly, unable to think clearly. A voice above him called, "What is your full name?"
"Harry James Potter," came a blank reply. With a shock, Harry realized the words had come from his own mouth, although he certainly hadn't intended to say them.
"When is your birthday?"
Harry fought viciously to keep his mouth shut, but his brain wouldn't cooperate.
"July 31st."
"What is your mother's maiden name?"
"Lily Evans." Harry was doing all he could to fight the potion. Come on, he thought, it can't be that different from fighting the Imperius Curse.
"How did you get your current injuries?'
Harry miraculously kept his mouth shut, though he immediately began to fell nautious.
"This is ridiculous. Answer me before you make yourself sick."
Opening his mouth, much to his dismay, Harry burst out, "My uncle." Horrified and still unable to focus, Harry clamped his mouth shut.
"Was that the first time your uncle has shown physical violence?"
Harry attempted to nod in a lie, but the room began to spin, and he gasped out, "No."
"How often has he hurt you?"
"He." Harry gave one final effort to fight it, but couldn't. "He threw me into a wall as soon as we got home from King's Cross this summer. Every day since then he did his best to make sure he at least threw a punch or two my direction."
"How long has this been going on?"
Harry desperately wanted to leave the room before Snape could hear his answer, but the flat voice again wound its way out of his mouth. "He didn't do it so much after I got my Hogwarts letter.that was when he let me move out of the cupboard. He still liked to show me that I was a weak, worthless freak. I think I was three or four the first time." Harry would've given anything to suppress those last few words.
"What happened yesterday?"
"I woke up at about 3 a.m. I had a nightmare. I woke up yelling. Vernon was really angry, he punched my stomach. When I woke up later, he made me write to the Order and tell them I was okay. The he gave me a list of chores that he knew I would never get finished. When I was working in the garden, I collapsed. When I woke up, my uncle was shaking me. He was angrier than I've ever seen. I think he was drunk. He dragged me inside and started kicking and hitting me. Then," Harry wanted to stop there, but he couldn't stop his mouth, "he started hitting me with his belt. He does that a lot. He stopped for a minute and I thought he'd left. I really couldn't see anything. I heard him come back. He stabbed me in the stomach with a kitchen knife. I screamed and he stabbed me again. I started coughing up blood. He threw me into the cupboard and I passed out."
Harry, mortified by the things he had just told his least favorite professor, couldn't have been more surprised by the man's next question.
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Severus knew he should've ended the interrogation, but there was a question that gnawed at him.
"Potter.." He said slowly, "why didn't you tell anyone?"
"Because," said the boy tonelessly, "I'm the 'Boy-Who-Lived'. I'm not supposed to have any weaknesses. If I told someone, I'd have to admit to everyone that I can't even stand up to a Muggle. Because I deserved it. It was my own fault."
Intrigued as he was, Severus knew he couldn't drag anymore out of the boy. As he checked his pockets for the counter potion to the Veritaserum, the Slytherin marvelled at how much the boy had fought the potion. Most people had no control of their emotions while under the influence of the potion, but Potter had resisted.
Pulling the potion out of his pocket, he said to the pale Gryffindor, "Open your mouth." Harry glared at him, but allowed Severus to pour the contents of the vial down his throat.
The boy blinked drowsily several times before staring up at Snape. As the professor opened his mouth to speak, the teenager cut him off.
"Get away from me. Just get the hell away from me."
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A/N: The end of another chapter. 26 pages, and you'd better appreciate it!
Disclaimer: Yeah, Harry Potter belongs to me. The internet, that's another brainchild of mine. Oh, and did I tell you about how I own the Disney Corporation? Yup! I'm THAT smart, rich, and successful!
(Laughter)
Okay, so that's a lie. I OWN NOTHING! Not Harry Potter, not the internet, not Disney, not even this shirt I'm wearing that I stole form my sister! So don't sue me!
A/N: Another chapter finally coming out. I have no clue how long it will take to type, but it was 26 pages handwritten, so. Anyhow, another truckload of reviews from my loyal readers. (Have I told you guys how happy reviews make me? Last chapter I was dancing around my house as I checked my reviews.at midnight!) But before I do review responses, I have a few things to say. There will be much more Harry POV in the coming chapter. I realize I've been skipping POVs a lot, but it's been necessary. Expect Ron or Hermione POV soon, maybe even Ginny. Anyway, I don't know about you guys, but to me this story seems to be moving incredibly slowly. I swear I will pick up the pace, but there's so much going on. As always, constructive criticism and requests are greatly appreciated!
Review responses:
Daughter of Death: Thanks for reviewing!
BipolarGirl: Thanks! I've stayed up late-errr..early .to read Harry abuse fics as well! To say that I live them is an understatement! I thrive off them!
Zorra: Oh, the enthusiasm!
Viskii: In regards to the Stunning, Snape isn't that patient. I may have overdone it, but here's my reasoning: He's tired, he's angry, he's been rather pissed off since Voldemort's return anyway, and all the beliefs he had about Harry Potter dissolved in about 2 minutes. He hated Harry's dad, but he doesn't want to admit that that's why he hates Harry. He's been using the excuse that Harry is pampered and spoiled and selfish and overconfident. He finds out it's no true and rather than become all compassionate (because it's Severus Snape we're talking about now) he snaps. He's confused, and we all know how much our dear Severus likes being confused.
Saf-Saf: Well.Snape is using Veritaserum! I've had this chapter written forever, and I don't know how else Snape is going to find out, because the angsting, teenage Harry isn't going to break down and admit this to him. I am doing my best to keep Snape in character for all of this- we're going to chalk it all up to the fact that he hasn't slept in the last 48 hours or so.
Lady Lightning: Yeah, Harry doesn't seem like the type to lie so bluntly, but look at it this way: Harry is ashamed that he couldn't stand up to a Muggle-I mean he's supposed to be this great hero. Also he thinks he deserved it because of OotP. Also, after Padfoot died, he just doesn't care anymore.
Serpent of Light: Thanks!
Padfoot(): Don't worry, I don't find it rude, I find it encouraging.
KittenBabyGirl: Hmmm.that is a little contradictory. Oh, well. I am also one of those psychos who is made happy by angst.
Katani Petitedra: Wow! I swear, we have got to be related, considering that we are both erm. a little crazy.
DoctorRuth126: Thanks! I'm glad you like what I've got going with Sev.
Beaury7890102: You will see in this chapter how Sev finds out the truth. It's a long one!
Angel of Darkness 4584: Thanks! I'm so flattered!
Quickjewel: Wow I got 3 reviews from you! Are you offering to beta for me? I think I have FINALLY fixed the format!
Mikee: Snape definitely has plans in store for Vernon. The whole Order plans to swoop down on him.
Layce74(): Once this story stops moving so slow (blame the muses), the Dursley's will get theirs.
Skysong1: Thnks. Yeah. I'm pure evil.
StarWest45: Yeah, I will write the others in soon! I just have to get this story moving! It seems really slow to me.
Iniysa: Thanks!
Ginnygal 189: Thanks!
Ahappyjtm: Awww! My story makes you dance, and you're willing to wait for updates! You are the perfect reader!
Ckat44: Yeah I figured out that something was wrong once I looked at my chapter..but I am lazy! One of these days, I'll get around to fixing everything up.one of these days.
POtASSIUM: I blush! All I can say for why I write the way I do is that I have been reading every book I can get my hands on since I was 4 or 5. Sorry the updates are slow-moving, but I've got much more than this written.it's typing that's the problem.
Wynjara: Yes, angst can be quite lovable, can't it?
Becky: Here, I added more. (winces) So I am a super-slacker when it comes to updating..
Cinnamon Angel: Okay, you win longest review award! (holds out rubber duckie-shaped trophy) Why is it a rubber duckie, you ask? Because ducks are a symbol of all that is good in the world!! Anyway, I'm sorry I didn't check your story right away! I guess I got so used to you not updating that I stopped checking. Okay, that was mean.And no, I didn't like Draco before. I thought he was a prick. Your story makes him much more likable. And you are right- lunatics shall rule the earth! Muahaha.
A/N: Okay, so many reviews! Not that I'm complaining! Oh, before I start the chapter I am now using bold letters to show thought because I can't get italics to transfer from word to fanfiction.net. Nyeh.
And here starts.(dun dun dun)... Chapter 5!
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Harry had been laying back staring lethargically at the ceiling, trying to keep himself calm, for about ten minutes after Snape had left when Madame Pomfrey came bustling out, looking rather tired.
"Oh, good, you're awake," she said briskly.
Harry said nothing, just kept staring at the ceiling. The nurse tutted at him. Normally, Harry would have been demanding to know how much longer he would have to be cooped up in the Hospital wing, but he realized he no longer cared.
"Drink this," she said simply holding out a vial.
"Harry started to ask what it was as he sat up, but his question was cut off as he gasped from a sudden, piercing pain in his stomach that hadn't been there earlier.
"Oh, dear," said the nurse, noticing. "I'll need to get you another Pain-Reducing Potion. That," she said, as a pale-faced Harry regained his composure and held his hand out for the vial, "is a Blood Replenishing Potion."
Harry took the opened vial and downed it in one unpleasant gulp. An instant later, Madame Pomfrey had walked away and returned with another potion. She held it out and he took it, again downing it quickly.
"So," the nurse said with an air of motherly disapproval, as Harry sank back down onto the hospital bed, "I suppose you'll want to know what your injuries are and how long I'll have you here."
"To be honest, Madame Pomfrey, I really would rather be left alone," said the teenager flatly.
"I'm afraid that's not an option, because the Headmaster wishes to speak with you," said the woman, rather taken aback by Harry's apparent lack of emotion.
Harry, who would have been overjoyed had the headmaster so much as made eye contact with him the year before, felt a surge of anger flare up inside him. "Well, I don't want to talk to him! I don't want to talk to anybody!" Without another word, Harry rolled over to face the wall.
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Ron and Hermione waited anxiously in the kitchen of #12 for Remus Lupin to get back from Hogwarts. Ron could tell that Hermione was nervous; she kept sighing and playing with the hem of her shirt, and her bushy hair seemed to crackle with electricity because she kept running her hands through it.
"Hermione," Ron counseled gently, "relax! I'm sure Dumbledore would have told us if something was terribly wrong."
" Yes," she began, "but what if Dumbledore was just trying to keep us from going to Hogwarts along with Lupin?"
"Look," said Ron patiently, "what you really need to do is take your mind off things. I need to get started on that History of Magic essay."
Hermione's eyes usually lit up at the mention of reading or schoolwork, but for once she seemed completely uninterested. Rolling her eyes, she said, "Oh, please, Ron. Homework isn't going to take my mind off the fact that we have no idea what is wrong with our best friend!"
Ron cowered. "Sorry, Hermione, just an idea," he put his hands up defensively.
She was scowling at him when a loud pop announced Lupin's presence. Startled, the bushy-haired girl shrieked and jumped backwards.
"Did I startle you?" asked Remus innocently.
"Just.just a little," muttered Hermione, cheeks flushed, as Ron grinned. "Never mind," she said quickly, throwing the redhead a scathing look. "Just tell us what's going on already! Is Harry okay? Is he hurt? What did Dumbledore say? Have you seen Harry?" All of this was asked in quick succession.
"Slow down!" said Remus, looking rather alarmed. "from what little Albus told me, Harry's okay, but as the Headmaster chose to put it, 'out of sorts'. I haven't talked to Harry. I haven't even seen him. Dumbledore says that after the Order meeting ended this morning, Professor Snape was leaving when an owl he recognized as Harry's swooped down on him, apparently very agitated. Severus thought it might be wise to check on Harry and found him 'out of sorts'. That's all he told me." The man gave a tired sigh and slumped back into his chair dejectedly.
Ron, meanwhile, gave a snort of disbelief. "Snape saved Harry? How do we know Snape wasn't in a foul mood and didn't just decide to curse him?"
"Really, Ron, how many times have you said that exact same thing, only to have it come back and bite you in the a-," Hermione stopped quickly, her cheeks now a deep crimson, a hand clamped firmly over her mouth. Slowly, she lowered her hand, throwing Ron, who was now trembling with silent laughter, another dirty look. "I mean, how many times have you said that, only to come out looking like a fool when Snape tried to save Harry's life?"
"Anyway," said Ron, eager to change the subject, "what does he mean, 'out of sorts'? That could mean anything! Why doesn't he ever tell anyone what's going on?"
Hermione just looked at Remus again. "When can we see him?" she asked suddenly.
"Albus says we may plan something for his birthday."
"But that's not till next week!" blurted out Ron.
"Yes," said Remus sadly. "The headmaster feels it would be best to leave Harry alone for awhile. I don't know what happened, but it's clear that Albus thinks he's been traumatized."
The two teenagers just stared at him.
"Hey," said Remus, "what're we waiting for? Someone get Gred and Forge- err, Fred and George, I'm sure they'd be more than happy to help us plan a party!"
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Poppy Pomfrey sat in her office, poring listlessly over her paperwork. Every so often, she would glance through her open door to the end of the Hospital Wing where Harry Potter lay motionless. Awake, by all means, but he had refused to speak to anyone, save a few words with her earlier. He had waken over an hour ago, and had been staring transfixed at the ceiling the entire time. It seemed he had fallen back asleep as he tossed and turned, muttering words the nurse couldn't quite grasp. He began to thrash violently, and she hurried over to his bedside, Sure enough, his eyes were closed. Poppy was now close enough to her the boy's muttering, aided by the fact that his words were slowly becoming more and more audible.
"No," moaned the pitiable figure. "Please, no." he faded off, shuddering.
Poppy couldn't just stand there, but she knew from experience that the boy couldn't be physically roused without a spell. She went to her office to retrieve her wand, which she had foolishly left there.
By the time she had returned with her wand, as well as a Dreamless Sleep Potion for Harry's use, his face was white and he was clutching the sheets. He suddenly cried out in pain.
"Please stop, Uncle Vernon!"
Poppy gave a sudden start and nearly dropped the vial. Had the boy's home life really been so brutal that it caused him nightmares?
As the child began thrashing again, the nurse drew out her wand and whispered softly, "Ennervate."
Blinking wearily, Harry sat up and looked around frantically. He relaxed as soon as he realized where he was and laid back down.
"You were having a nightmare," said Poppy quietly. "There's some Dreamless Sleep Potion there on the table, should you decide to go back to sleep."
The teenager just nodded at her, eyes blank and empty once again. As she turned on her heel to head back to her office, she thought she heard a sort of snuffling. She had just gotten immersed in her paperwork when she heard the door open.
Standing up quickly, she glanced towards Harry to see that he hadn't reacted to the loud noise before turning her attention to the door.
"Good morning, Albus, what brings you here?"
The headmaster gave a sad sort of smile. "I was wondering if I could have a moment to speak with Mr. Potter."
"Of course," she said. "He's right over here." She led Albus over to the bed where Harry still lay motionless. "I'll just leave you two at it then," she said, heading to her office. "Good luck," she whispered to the headmaster as she passed him.
Without a second look behind her, Poppy shut the door to her office. Something told her she didn't want to witness the conversation to come.
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The instant he woke from his nightmare, Harry panicked. Had he been screaming again? Had he waken his uncle up?
Opening his eyes, it took him about three seconds to come to the grateful realization that he wasn't at Privet Drive. That realization was followed by the memory of his brief talk with Severus Snape.
Harry had just begun to fall back into his silent lethargic state when he heard the door open. He knew it was probably someone that wanted to talk to him, maybe Snape returning with Veritaserum, but he didn't care. He didn't care about anything anymore.
He heard Madame Pomfrey bustling about, but still refused to take his eyes off the ceiling. A minute later, after a brief exchange between the nurse and the visitor, who was evidently Dumbledore, the headmaster's face appeared over him.
"Hello, Harry," he said. Harry remained silent, although he felt a sudden flare of anger at the mere sight of the elderly man. However, he chose to embrace the fact that he felt anything at all. Dumbledore seemed to take Harry's silence as an indication that he was listening.
"I was wondering," he pressed on gently, "if you wanted to talk about anything.
Harry continued his stony silence, refusing to look at the man who had sent him back to hell. He had dealt silently with his home life for fifteen years, so what made the headmaster think he was suddenly going to open up?
Almost as if the obstinate man's penetrating gaze had seen the depths of his mind, Dumbledore asked, "How did you get those injuries, Harry?"
When Harry again refused to answer, the older man decided to switch tact.
"Well," he said, "you will be pleased to know that your lifelong Quidditch ban has been revoked, and, if you wish, you are free to play for Gryffindor again. Your broom was removed from Professor Umbridge's office at the end of last year, and has been at the castle since."
Harry felt his rage at the man magnified ten fold. Before he realized what had happened, he was on his feet, unsteady on his mismatched legs. Clearly the sedative had worn off, or perhaps it had not been strong enough.
"Stop it!" he cried. "Stop acting like everything's okay- like it's- it's NORMAL! You're talking about Quidditch and broomsticks like everything's fine! Stop acting like you understand me! Don't you even care that he's dead?"
Harry stopped shouting, breathing heavily, his eyes blurred with tears. Staring at the man in front of him who remained calm, he somehow managed to sprint out of the hospital wing despite his cast. He kept running and didn't slow down until he ran into a very solid person, who unfortunately happened to be Severus Snape.
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Severus was in a foul mood, even by his standards. After a useless meeting, severe lack of sleep, finding Potter and then having to hear Potter's lies, he was virtually a walking explosion. Therefore, he was none too happy when a small figure collided with him about two corridors away from the hospital wing.
Severus, feeling very short-tempered, looked around and snarled violently, "Watch where you're going!" It was then that he realized it was Potter who had run into him. The boy was now collecting himself, cast and all, and cowering in fear.
Snape opened his mouth to say calming words, but before he could, the crumpled teenager began to apologize frantically. Rocking back and forth, he shuddered and cried out, "I'm sorry, Uncle Vernon." . The begging was enough to pluck at even Snape's frozen heartstrings.
When he bent down to calm him, he noticed Harry was still wearing only bandages on his upper body. The strangeness of Poppy allowing one of her patients to walk around on a leg that was not fully healed and without the help of a cane or crutch also struck Severus. He conjectured that the younger wizard had run from the Hospital Wing for some reason or another.
Bending down, Severus gently shook the child, but he seemed to be having a sort of seizure. Trembling violently, he suddenly heard a scream to chill his blood. He had heard those kinds of screams before, on nights that haunted his memories and plagued his dreams. Potter's screams were the screams of a tortured victim, screams that always made him remember his Death Eater days.
Forgetting his earlier anger, Severus only felt a rare surge of pity as he sank to the floor and held the sobbing Harry. After several seconds, he began to take deep breaths, and his shuddering slowed.
After a moment, he raised his head and seemed to realize that the Potions Master was comforting him. Moving away, the chalk-white teenager rolled to his hands and knees and began to vomit violently.
After several seconds, he slowly sat back on his heels and wiped his mouth. Standing up, he said to the professor, who was halfway to his feet and reaching for his wand, "I'm sorry. I'll clean it up."
The older man said nothing, just raised an eyebrow at Harry and muttered, "Scourgify." Instantly, the stone floor was clean again.
The teenager gazed up at him blankly. "Sorry," he whispered. "I had a flashback."
"About what?"
"Voldermort's return."
Snape knew the boy was lying, but the green eyes-Lily's eyes- remained amazingly blank. His bad mood returning, he said sarcastically, "Oh? Is the Dark Lord now going by the alter-ego 'Uncle Vernon'?"
A slight twinge of guilt swirled in Harry's eyes, but he was spared answering when Madame Pomfrey came zooming towards him faster than one would have thought possible.
"Mr. Potter!" She shrieked like a banshee. She may not have noticed the boy jump back and flinch at her tone, but Severus did.
Trembling, Harry began to apologize but the nurse stopped him. "Just come on. Wait, no, you shouldn't even be walking." The witch waved her wand and conjured a stretcher. She looked at the boy expectantly. "Well, what are you waiting for, boy?"
Potter, for some reason, flinched at the way the nurse addressed him, though her tone wasn't violent. He began to protest, muttering, "I can walk fine."
"Potter," said Severus, "get on the stretcher, or I will make you." He did not miss the fear that briefly flickered into his eyes, but Snape was much too impatient to care. Harry looked as though he would very much like to flee again, but hadn't the energy for it. He slowly began to limp towards the stretcher, but he collapsed and fell to the floor.
"Severus." Poppy pleaded. He nodded reluctantly and slid his arms under Harry, lifting him up. He was incredibly light for a sixteen-year-old boy. Severus figured he weighed what someone half his age should. The child flinched, for the third time in several minutes, at the mere touch of the Slytherin's hands. Fighting the urge to dump the boy back on the floor, Severus lowered him onto the stretcher.
The tiny spark of life that had shot up in the Gryffindor was extinguished, his eyes blank again. He sat, rather than laid, on the stretcher, suddenly seeming quite indifferent to his surroundings.
Once the unlikely trio was back at the hospital wing, Madame Pomfrey had Severus lower Harry onto the hospital bed. Dumbledore was nowhere in sight.
"I thought Albus was here," remarked Snape casually.
"He was, but when he tried to talk with Harry, Harry started shouting and ran away. Albus hurried to inform me, then left.
Severus nodded and walked away towards the door of the ward. He pulled out his wand and traced the doorframe, whispering a few well-chosen words. A burst of blue light shot out of his wand and momentarily framed the door before melting into the woodwork.
Turning back to Potter, he said, "That was an alarm spell. Both Madame Pomfrey and myself will know if you attempt to leave this ward."
The boy stared at him. "Fine," he said, quite without emotion.
"Now," interjected the nurse, "you haven't eaten properly in some time and you are dangerously underweight." She waved her wand and a bowl of oatmeal appeared, floating in midair.
"I'm not hungry, thanks."
Severus growled, losing any remaining trace of patience. "Eat it, or I will force you to."
The boy stubbornly refused to touch the food.
"Very well, it's your choice. Poppy." He nodded at her and grabbed the bowl.
The mediwitch looked highly affronted. :He is my patient, Severus."
"Yes, but you will not force him to eat, which is what he needs. I will, and I need to be the only one in the room with him. You can watch from your office for all I care." The woman looked as though she felt quite wrong-footed, but went into her office and shut the door.
Severus glared at the stony-faced child before him. "I will give you one more chance before I force-feed you." He held out the bowl. Potter just stubbornly pushed it away. "As you wish." Snape dipped the spoon in the oatmeal and held it less than a centimeter away from the child's mouth. He ignored it. Sighing, the older man pinched the boy's nose shut. Surprised, Harry did nothing for several seconds, before opening his mouth and gasping for breath. Seizing the opportunity, he shoved the oatmeal into Harry's mouth and released his nose.
"Chew," he commanded. The teen did as he was told. "Swallow." Harry gulped, still glaring at Severus, who stared right back at him. "Now, shall we repeat this process, or will you eat on your own?"
His response was silence, but the boy took the bowl and began eating. He ate several bites with excruciating slowness before setting the bowl down wordlessly.
"That will do for now," said the Potions Master sternly. "There are a few things I want to make very clear to you. Are you listening?"
Something flickered briefly in the child's eyes, but they immediately became blank again. He nodded dully.
"Good," said the professor curtly. "First off, you are not to lie. This means to Madame Pomfrey, the headmaster, or myself. We need to know how you got those injuries, but we are not going to question you further than necessary. You know I could just as easily use Veritaserum, but I don't want to. Furthermore, as you know, I am to continue giving you Occlumency lessons. Professor Dumbledore believes it would be useful for you to make a Pensieve."
As the older man spoke, he noticed that Potter's face remained passively blank.
"So," said the Slytherin, "how did you get those injuries?"
"Well, you see, there was this bull-fighting accident.". The boy hardly spoke above a whisper, but the sarcasm in his tone was quite clear to Severus.
In an instant, Severus was towering over Potter, eyes glittering maliciously. "I will not tolerate this!" he hissed dangerously. "It is necessary that we know the nature of your injuries if you want to make sure they heal properly. You do want your injuries healed?"
The boy stared at him for a moment before he said, deadpan, "No."
Snape sighed. "You are making things much more difficult than they need to be." He pulled a small vial of clear liquid from his robes.
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Harry saw Snape take the vial from his robes and panicked. He would not take Veritaserum. There were a great many things that he didn't want Snape to know about him. He had spent years building himself a false persona to hide behind, he wouldn't lose it now.
"I will ask you one more time for the truth," said his professor in a cold, icy voice.
Harry slowly opened his mouth. "Fuck off," he whispered.
"Very well."
Harry felt a sudden sleepiness fall over him and sank into a deep stupor.
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Harry woke slowly, unable to think clearly. A voice above him called, "What is your full name?"
"Harry James Potter," came a blank reply. With a shock, Harry realized the words had come from his own mouth, although he certainly hadn't intended to say them.
"When is your birthday?"
Harry fought viciously to keep his mouth shut, but his brain wouldn't cooperate.
"July 31st."
"What is your mother's maiden name?"
"Lily Evans." Harry was doing all he could to fight the potion. Come on, he thought, it can't be that different from fighting the Imperius Curse.
"How did you get your current injuries?'
Harry miraculously kept his mouth shut, though he immediately began to fell nautious.
"This is ridiculous. Answer me before you make yourself sick."
Opening his mouth, much to his dismay, Harry burst out, "My uncle." Horrified and still unable to focus, Harry clamped his mouth shut.
"Was that the first time your uncle has shown physical violence?"
Harry attempted to nod in a lie, but the room began to spin, and he gasped out, "No."
"How often has he hurt you?"
"He." Harry gave one final effort to fight it, but couldn't. "He threw me into a wall as soon as we got home from King's Cross this summer. Every day since then he did his best to make sure he at least threw a punch or two my direction."
"How long has this been going on?"
Harry desperately wanted to leave the room before Snape could hear his answer, but the flat voice again wound its way out of his mouth. "He didn't do it so much after I got my Hogwarts letter.that was when he let me move out of the cupboard. He still liked to show me that I was a weak, worthless freak. I think I was three or four the first time." Harry would've given anything to suppress those last few words.
"What happened yesterday?"
"I woke up at about 3 a.m. I had a nightmare. I woke up yelling. Vernon was really angry, he punched my stomach. When I woke up later, he made me write to the Order and tell them I was okay. The he gave me a list of chores that he knew I would never get finished. When I was working in the garden, I collapsed. When I woke up, my uncle was shaking me. He was angrier than I've ever seen. I think he was drunk. He dragged me inside and started kicking and hitting me. Then," Harry wanted to stop there, but he couldn't stop his mouth, "he started hitting me with his belt. He does that a lot. He stopped for a minute and I thought he'd left. I really couldn't see anything. I heard him come back. He stabbed me in the stomach with a kitchen knife. I screamed and he stabbed me again. I started coughing up blood. He threw me into the cupboard and I passed out."
Harry, mortified by the things he had just told his least favorite professor, couldn't have been more surprised by the man's next question.
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Severus knew he should've ended the interrogation, but there was a question that gnawed at him.
"Potter.." He said slowly, "why didn't you tell anyone?"
"Because," said the boy tonelessly, "I'm the 'Boy-Who-Lived'. I'm not supposed to have any weaknesses. If I told someone, I'd have to admit to everyone that I can't even stand up to a Muggle. Because I deserved it. It was my own fault."
Intrigued as he was, Severus knew he couldn't drag anymore out of the boy. As he checked his pockets for the counter potion to the Veritaserum, the Slytherin marvelled at how much the boy had fought the potion. Most people had no control of their emotions while under the influence of the potion, but Potter had resisted.
Pulling the potion out of his pocket, he said to the pale Gryffindor, "Open your mouth." Harry glared at him, but allowed Severus to pour the contents of the vial down his throat.
The boy blinked drowsily several times before staring up at Snape. As the professor opened his mouth to speak, the teenager cut him off.
"Get away from me. Just get the hell away from me."
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A/N: The end of another chapter. 26 pages, and you'd better appreciate it!