Author's Note: Thanks so much for the reviews! A few things before the next chapter: 1. Sorry for those of you who got spoiled and didn't want to be. I did post a spolier warning before the start of chapter one, but I will also add one to the summary. 2. The title is taken from the following quote by author Ambrose Redmoon "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." I still don't own Gilmore Girls.

"That kid was 12, what did he need three cars for?" Luke asked incredulously as Lorelai got up from the couch to grab him a beer.

"But they had Nintendo in the trunks," Lorelai yelled back.

"I can't believe you made me watch that show. I can't believe how some people live," Luke replied.

"If my parents were entertainers I think the Gilmore pad could be featured on Cribs," Lorelai said returning from the kitchen and setting his beer on the table. "I mean if Shaq can have a Superman room, then the shrine to my childhood shouldn't look too abnormal."

"That would be an interesting show," Luke said chuckled.

"Couldn't you just see my mother showing off all the Chanel in her closet?" Lorelai laughed. "Or my Dad in the drive-way with the antique cars and his page boy hat!"

"Those cars are nice," Luke admitted.

"So, Halloween is coming up," Lorelai commented abruptly changing the subject.

"That it is," Luke replied.

"So I was thinking," she said cozying closer to Luke. "Maybe we could dress up for Miss Patty's Halloween party. I'd make a sexy Cleopatra."

"I don't doubt that," Luke said reeling her in. "But there is no way I'm dressing up like a gladiator for Halloween."

"Marc Antony wasn't a gladiator he was a warrior and you'd look so hot in an armor chest plate," Lorelai informed him.

"No," Luke said simply.

"Look, I know you have this standing tradition of being the Brawny paper towel guy every year, but please dress up. Please, please, please?" she whined.

"For your information I'm not trying to look like the Brawny paper towel guy. I'm wearing what I wear everyday. The only reason I even go to that party is for the hard cider," Luke said. "And by the way I don't dress up for Halloween."

"You could try it," Lorelai continued to press. "You might like it."

"I might hate it," Luke replied.

"Well then you'll know for sure," she smiled.

Luke just looked at her. Her eyes were pleading with him to say yes.

"Please Luke," she continued to whine. "I've never had anyone to dress up with before. We don't have to be Antony and Cleopatra. We could be Bonnie and Clyde, Sid and Nancy, peas and carrots.

"You expect me to dress up like a carrot?" Luke asked skeptically.

"Oh! Oh! I got it!" Lorelai exclaimed hitting him playfully.

"What?" Luke looked at her nervously.

"You can be Joe DiMaggio and I'll be Marilyn Monroe!" Lorelai cried.

"Didn't they get divorced?" Luke asked.

"Yes, but Marilyn was the love of Joe's life and they say Marilyn always had a special place for Joe in her heart. But that isn't the point. The point is you only have to wear a baseball uniform. You like baseball," she finished in a sing-song voice.

"No," he said folding his arms over his chest.

"Please," she said playfully poking him in the side.

"No," Luke said emphatically, though the resolve in his voice was beginning to crumble.

"Please," Lorelai said giving him a light peck on the cheek.

Luke turned his face toward her to say no, but before he could open his mouth Lorelai placed her lips firmly on his. She kissed him gently teasing his upper lip with her teeth.

"Please?" she whispered planting small kisses on his jaw line and neck. She ran her hands lightly over his arm and Luke's muscles tensed as she worked her hands down his chest slowly unbuttoning his shirt as she moved down. He could feel her lips on his neck and move softly down his chest as she unbuttoned his shirt.

At that moment Luke moaned softly and opened his eyes only to realize that she wasn't there. It was all a dream. Actually it wasn't so much a dream as a memory. Luke's dream had actually happened. Lorelai had used her feminine wiles and persuaded him to dress up for Halloween. Luke drew the line at the tight baseball pants she had found for him, but he wore the jersey and that was enough for her. He also seemed to recall a very special, very private reenactment of Happy Birthday Mr. Danes when they got home.

Luke sat up and tried to push the memory of Lorelai's lips on his to the back of his mind, but it didn't work. He thought if stood up and walked around it might help. He paced the floor of the cabin but the hollow emptiness in the pit of his stomach didn't go away.

'Damn subconscious,' he cursed to himself. 'I was just starting to forget,' he fooled himself.

He took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair. Luke walked into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water. He took a gulp of water and stared out the window at the light rain that begun to fall. He would've expected snow in February, but it was almost as if the weather knew the snow would be too peaceful, too dream-like. The rain seemed to capture the desolation and despair that hung heavy in his heart. Luke thought leaving would help, but in reality not seeing her and hearing about her made Luke feel more alone than he had before.

Lorelai awoke the next morning to find she had fallen asleep in her clothes from the previous day. She hadn't bothered to eat dinner or change or do anything except think about Luke and his absence. She slept through the night but it was restless sleep and one that afforded no solace. She dreamt of Luke each time she closed her eyes.

One dream was especially telling. Lorelai was standing in the diner, just as she had four weeks ago.

"Just tell me where I stand," Luke said his hands on his hips.

"Luke, Christopher means nothing to me," Lorelai replied. "I'm with you, not him."

"That wasn't what I asked. I don't give a damn about Christopher," Luke replied almost defeated, as if he could sense the end was near. "I asked where I stand with you. Is there room for me in your life? Because from where I'm standing it doesn't seem like it."

Lorelai approached him and placed her hand gently on his chest. "Luke, you're in my life," she said. "I like you in my life."

"Then why won't you let me cook you breakfast at your house? Why does the thought of me leaving a toothbrush at your house freak you out? Why won't you leave a change of clothes at my apartment?" Luke asked removing her hands from his chest.

"It doesn't freak me out," Lorelai protested as she turned away from him. "I just...I have my things the way I like them."

"And there isn't room for anyone else," Luke said. "That's the problem. I love you. I'm willing to change for you, but you're not. You're not even ready for our toothbrushes to share a holder let alone share a life with me."

"That's not true," Lorelai replied spinning around on her heel.

"Then tell me you love me," Luke said softly. "Tell me that you'd do anything for me, just like I'd do anything for you. Tell me that you're invested in this as much as I am."

"I am," Lorelai said walking over to Luke and playing his face in her hands. "I'm in this with you. I want you to be a part of my life because I love you. I need you and I can't imagine not having you in my life."

Luke leaned in a pressed his lips hungrily to hers. He wrapped his strong arms around her body and pulled her close to him. They were intertwined in body, mind and spirit and for once Lorelai didn't feel scared. She felt at ease. She felt as if everything she ever wanted fell inexplicably into place.

Lorelai opened her eyes and took in a deep breath. She looked around and realized that she was in her room. It was Sunday morning and the rain was softly pelting the windows. It wasn't quite cold enough to snow just yet.

She contemplated her dream. Of course real life didn't mirror her dreams. The scene in her dream had played out just as reality had until Luke asked her to say the words that she couldn't seem to find. In reality Lorelai had opened her mouth and tried to say the words Luke wanted to hear, but when she went to speak, the words caught in her throat. She stood paralyzed and trying to speak, but there was no sound until Luke sighed and turned to walk away.

"Luke," she called out to him.

"I can't do this Lorelai," Luke replied.

'He used my name,' she thought to herself. But his tone wasn't loving. It was cold and unfeeling.

"I can't be with you when you don't love me," Luke continued. "I can't be with you when you don't need me. I'm just this guy who you occasionally sleep with. I'm just the guy who cooks you breakfast. I thought I was more than that, but I'm not."

"You are more than that," she tried to plead with him.

"Then why can't you tell me what I mean to you?" he tried one last time.

"You're...you mean a lot to me," she stammered.

"Gee, thanks," Luke replied bitterly.

"You, you're Luke," Lorelai struggled to speak. "You're an important part of my life. Don't you remember when I told you that you're one of the permanently forever people in my life?"

"Yeah I'm in your life permanently forever at arms length. You're holding back on me," Luke said.

"It's not because I don't care about you. I just can't...," Lorelai said.

"Please don't," Luke stopped her. "I don't have time for the 'it's not me it's you' speech okay? I think we should just end it here and now."

"You want to break up?" she asked confused.

"Yeah, I do," Luke replied.

"Because I can't tell you what you want to hear?" Lorelai asked. "What the hell is that about?"

Lorelai was getting angry and confused. She felt like Luke had issued her the ultimate challenge. Being a Gilmore she was not willing to back down. Being a Gilmore she was stubborn enough to see this through to the end.

"I can't be with you when you're not with me," Luke yelled. "You're here, but you're not. Don't you get it? I want to be a part of your life, every day and you don't want that."

"I...I don't know--"

"It's over Lorelai," Luke said defeated. "It's just over. I think you should leave."

"Fine," Lorelai yelled angrily. "I'm glad this is over. How did I ever think this was going to work? This is probably the best thing that could have happened," she said bitterly.

"Good," he yelled back.

"Fine," Lorelai screamed. "Have a nice life!"

She turned with tears furiously streaming down her face and slammed the diner door behind her. She stomped to her car. She hadn't expected it to end. She hadn't expected that he would follow through with it, but he did and he didn't seem to care. What she didn't notice because her tears blinded her was that Luke had leaned into the wall and slumped to the floor, horrified by what had just happened.

Remembering what had happened in reality caused Lorelai to take a deep breath. She stood up and walked over to the window staring out at the small town of Stars Hollow. It looked lonelier than usual, but maybe that's just because that's how Lorelai felt. She sighed and rubbed her eyes. She thought that after a month things would be easier. She hadn't planned on still missing Luke so fiercely. It was like phantom limb pain. She could cut Luke out of her heart and mind, but no matter how hard she tried she still felt him there.

TBC