The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Chapter 1:

If you happened to be one of the few people on Earth lucky enough to have access to an interstellar spacecraft there were any number of habitable star systems within easy reach for a pleasant vacation or day trip. If you were unlucky enough to have a bad sense of direction or poor star map you might end up in the Felangie star system instead. While not a particularly dangerous place it was widely considered to be, in galactic terms, "on the wrong side of the tracks". This had been due mostly to a prolonged history of internal unrest and unceasing squabbles with neighboring star systems but in recent years things had begun to improve. Much of this was in turn thanks to the progressive attitude of Princess Leama, destined to be the Felangian queen and determined to have something worth having once she ascended the throne. Impartial observers agreed that this was not a particularly noble reason for her official policies, but they could not deny that the royal programs were working and nearly everyone on and off the planet was happier for them.

Nearly everyone, but not quite. There was one person in particular who was displeased by the improvements in general and who harbored objections to the princess' growing popularity in particular. This person was Lord Khormak, Felangie's Minister of War and ambitious political aspirant. As Minister of War Princess Leama's policies of interstellar amity greatly weakened the political importance and influence of his office. Still more serious her increasing popularity jeopardized his ambitions of someday usurping the throne. Consequently, as things on Felangie grew better, he grew that much worse. He had the ambition, the cunning, and the utter ruthlessness to succeed. All he lacked was a plan. It was only a matter of time before he found one.

He had been brooding on the miserably peaceful state of things when it suddenly occurred to him that the easiest way to goad the Felangians into wanting war was to show them how easy it was to win one. It had worked in many times and many places, and there was no reason to suspect that it would not now. The only real problem now was to select a likely target. It had to be backward enough to ensure an easy victory, but at the same time offer a bounty of riches for the victor. A rich haul would help strengthen the Felangian forces, and at the same time fuel the Felangians' desire for more. Once Khormak could identify such a target and demonstrate its weakness to his future subjects his destiny was assured.

"Exjay Nine!" he rasped.

Obediently his assistant droid wheeled into his presence, his posture impeccably rigid and yet still conveying the impression of mechanical obsequiousness. "Yes, my lord?"

"Identify all inhabited star systems within a radius of twenty parsecs," Khormak ordered. "Evaluate and report the current stage of technological development."

The droid was silent for a moment as its circuits processed the request and collated the desired information. "Felangie," the droid's faintly metallic voice reported. "Technological development level six point five on the Roddenberry scale."

The war minister gave a disgusted snort as his vestigial antennae quivered with annoyance. "I know about Felangie. Why are you bothering me with information I already know?"

"Felangie is within the specified search parameters."

"I didn't mean to include our own planet!"

"If you wish precise information," the droid responded primly, "you must formulate a precise inquiry."

There was no point in arguing semantics with an automaton and Khormac mastered his anger. "Fine. I'll be more precise in the future."

"Do you wish to reformulate the inquiry?"

"No. Just give me the report you've already prepared."

"As you wish," the droid replied agreeably. "Felangie. Technological development level –"

Exjay Nine halted his the report as Lord Khormak slammed his desk with his fist. "You already said that!" he thundered.

"You requested that I give you the report that I had prepared. Information on Felangie is part of the report."

Khormak's chest plate vibrated with the Felangian equivalent of someone shaking with rage. I'm not the king because of Princess Leama, he told himself. It's because I'm surrounded by idiots. In a clipped voice he said, "Give me the report you've prepared without the information on Felangie."

"Confirmed. Yolkus. Technological development level six point two on the Roddenberry scale. K-pax. Technological development level five point nine on the Roddenberry scale. Earth. Technological development level two point one on the Roddenberry scale. Gorlock. Technological development –"

"Hold." Khormak frowned, or came as close to it as his facial structure would allow. "Reiterate and expand upon Earth."

"Earth. Technological development level two point one on the Roddenberry scale. Distance twenty-nine point seven light years. Total intelligent population approximately forty billion. Notable –"

Khormak interrupted Exjay Nine. "Wait a chronon. Forty billion?"

"Figure includes various sub-populations in addition to the dominant human species. Sub-populations include various interesting mammalian orders."

"Do they matter?"

"All sentient beings matter," was Exjay Nine's philosophic reply. "Including droids," it added.

Khoramak was dangerously close to living up to his office's charter, namely the effective application of directed violence. "Well, then, are these mammalian orders sentient?"

"Sentience has been difficult to ascertain as direct contact has never been established."

Patience, Khormak told himself as he forced himself to slowly unclench his fist. Patience. Droids are ruinously expensive on a War Minister's salary. "What I mean to say," he said fiercely, "is whether these sub-populations – interesting as they may be - are sufficiently advanced to compare with the dominant species in technological development."

The droid's voice almost carried a note of regret. "No."

"Then I don't care about them. How many humans?"

"Acknowledged. Would you care for a complete breakdown?"

"No," the War Minister replied as he rubbed his eyes, which were beginning to cross. "I'm already having one."

There was a second of silence as Exjay Nine processed this. "That does not compute."

"It's not supposed to. How many humans?"

"Approximately six billion."

That was the first good news that Khormak had managed to squeeze out of the droid. That many humans at that level of development meant rich spoils for any conqueror. "Excellent. You're dismissed. Send in my personal guards."

"As you wish." The droid retreated from the chamber to be replaced in a few minutes by two Felangians. They looked more the part of professional thugs than personal guards to a government minister – large, tough, well-muscled, and not especially bright. They were the perfect choice for handling assignments that required ruthless efficiency with a minimum of thought. They stood waiting patiently as their employer cracked his knuckles and fleshed out the final details of his plan.

"Gentlemen," he said finally, "have you ever been to a planet called Earth?"

The two guards looked at each other and shrugged. "No," one of them said.

"Well, you're going now. I want you to bring someone back for me."

"How much of them?" asked one of the guards.

"All of him. In perfect working order."

"What's his name?" the other guard asked.

"I don't know. But he'll be Earth's champion fighter. Tell him I'm inviting him to represent his planet in an exhibition match to determine which of our two planets is really the best."

"'Better'," the first guard said helpfully.
Khormak blinked. "What?"

"It's 'which of our two planets is better'," the guard answered. "Not 'which of our two planets is best'."

"What difference does it make?"

"Well…" the guard began.

"Let me rephrase," Khormak said, determined to nip the discussion in the bud. "What difference to your continued health and employment does it make?"

The guard looked at his companion and shrugged again. "None, I suppose," he replied.

"That's what I thought. Now get out of here and bring me back my champion." The guards turned and left without a word, leaving their boss to savor the anticipation. Once Earth's champion agreed to fight the champion of Felangie he would promote the contest as a peaceful exhibition match. He would then use the fight itself to demonstrate to the entire planet how easily Earth's best could be defeated, thus inspiring the Felangians to launch a full-scale attack on the planet. There was, he admitted to himself, a slight chance that Earth's champion would win. But there were ways to deal with that possibility. Whether Felangie won or lost the battle, it would be Earth that would lose the war.

End of Chapter 1.