The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 5:

At that moment on Felangie Carl was fidgeting nervously. "Uh…I'm not really sure you have the right person," he said, his voice quavering.

Khormak pretended surprise. "Really? You look like a champ to me." He turned to Skeets and Rocco. "Right, gentlemen?"

Skeets caught the warning tone in Khormak's voice. "Right, boss."

Rocco, however, missed the hint. "What?" he said.

Khormak rolled his eyes but managed to remove the look of disgust from his face before turning back to Carl. "You see? The majority agrees. You're prime material. A genuine heavyweight champ if ever I saw one."

Carl had never bought a used car but had been manipulated by even the more ruthless and unscrupulous population of grade school and he could tell that he was being manipulated. Not sure how to get out of the situation he stalled for time. "Well…I weigh more than most people in my class…I guess…" he faltered.

Khormak twisted his mandibles into a thoroughly intimidating smile. Before he could further unnerve Carl, however, Exjay Nine entered the chamber. Khormak turned on the automaton. "What is the meaning of this?" the Minister of War demanded. "I left orders that I was not to be disturbed."

"A kiloapology, Excellency," the robot replied. "But Her Highness was most insistent."

Khormak looked as uncomfortable as Carl felt. "The princess? She's here?"

"Even as we vocalize."

Khormak looked about the room as though trying to decide what to do. There was no place to hide the human without taking time to disassemble him, and he could not afford to risk offending the princess by making her wait – yet. After no more than a few seconds, thanks to his long career of dealing with difficult situations, he came to a decision. "Send her in," he said smoothly, straightening his uniform.

"At once, sir," Exjay Nine intoned and exited. It soon reappeared with a diminutive yet commanding Felangian. Although Carl had expected to see someone who looked like the other three Felangians he had already met, he was pleasantly surprised to see that this new person was about his height and exuded an air of delicate grace. He became dimly aware that he couldn't seem to take his eyes off her. "Her Highness Princess Leama of Felangie," the robot announced.

"Your Highness," Khormak smiled, oozing as much charm as he could. "How pleasant to see you once again."

"That remains to be seen," Princess Leama responded coolly.

"Why, whatever do you mean?" the Minister returned in innocent surprise.

"I have heard…" the princess began, but her voice faded as she caught sight of Carl. For a brief moment she studied him with some curiosity and seemed somewhat flustered to notice that he was staring at her. Thanks to her long training as the crown princess she quickly recovered her composure and directed her attention back to Khormak. "And now I find that it is true that you or your minions have traveled off-planet without royal authorization. What explanation do you offer for this off-worlder in your company?"

Far from being cowed by her accusing tone Khormak smiled easily. "Why, Your Highness, the matter is easily explained. While it is true that my assistants left Felangie without your sanction I felt that the matter was of such importance that I felt that I could not in good conscience delay. If I have erred and offended you, I do humbly apologize."

"You have both erred and offended me," the princess returned haughtily, "and my acceptance or rejection of your apology hinges greatly on the nature this important matter you mentioned."

"Of course," Khormak said soothingly. He walked to stand next to Carl, placing a fatherly arm around his shoulder. "I knew of course of your efforts to foster interstellar accord and in honor of that I was arranging a special observance. This Terran was most eager to participate."

"What manner of observance?"

"An exhibition match between the Felangian and Terran fighting champions."

The princess looked totally confused, which Carl found to be enchanting. "You intend to honor my plans for peace by having two beings beat each other up?"

"A purely ritualistic and carefully controlled confrontation," Khormak assured her. "A demonstration that civilized beings can meet in a show of force, yet still observe the established proprieties and part on good terms."

Princess Leama was not stupid enough to completely trust Khormak or believe what he said. She felt that she could, however, trust the Terran as there was no conceivable way for him to have past associations with Khormak or his cohorts. She looked at Carl with curious wonder on her face. "You are truly here because of my desire for friendly relations with others?" she asked.

"Well…friendly relations are…friendly," Carl stammered as he blushed. "I'd like to be… friends. If that's what you want, then friends would be good."

The princess gave Carl a look of awed respect. "And you will actually fight Vermax to prove this?"

Carl had seen that particular look on other girls' faces before, but never for him. As Princess Leama continued to gaze at him he felt his heart thumping faster. Although physiologists have never been able to prove it a popular theory holds that as more blood goes to the heart there is a good deal less for the brain, making clear thinking impossible. Carl only knew that his head was getting lighter and everything except the princess seemed to be growing blurred and fuzzy. "Yes, I will," he said without even realizing that he said it.

Despite her strict training the princess forgot herself for a moment and gave Carl a warm and genuine smile that only made his heart beat faster. He smiled back hoping that the moment would never end. The princess, however, quickly resumed her regal composure and turned to Khormak. "Very well, Minister Khormak," she said, "I accept your explanation and your apology. The Terran is to be provided with whatever he requires to prepare for the upcoming match. He is also to be considered a royal guest and given whatever he desires for his comfort." She turned back to Carl. "It was very nice to meet you Mister…" She laughed in polite embarrassment. "I'm afraid I didn't get your name."

"Uh-huh," Carl murmured happily, still not out of his trance.

"Very good, Mr. Uh-huh," she continued. "Welcome to Felangie." She turned and left the chamber without a backward glance, finally allowing Carl to start thinking clearly again. Khormak vibrated his vocal plates, similar to clearing his throat.

"As the princess said, Mr. Wheezer, welcome to Felangie. Is there anything you would like?"

"Huh? What? What did you say?" Carl stared about him, realizing where he was again. "What's going on?"

"You've agreed to fight Vermax, our planetary champion," Khormak explained patiently. "You've promised that to Princess Leama herself, and backing out on the soon-to-be ruler of Felangie would be considered a serious breach of etiquette with the most horrible and unspeakable consequences."

"You mean…interplanetary war?" Carl whimpered in fear.

"If you're lucky. I guess you've never jilted a woman before. It's not pretty." Skeets and Rocco looked at each other and shuddered as Khormak went on. "Her Highness has instructed me to treat you as her royal guest and to provide you with anything you need to prepare for the upcoming match. May I ask what it is that you require?"

Numerous possible answers flashed through Carl's mind – his mother, clean underwear, a time machine to go back and undo this mess – but all he could cry out was, "Jimmy!"

End of Part 5.