The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 7:

Within an hour of Carl's call Jimmy and the others were en route to Felangie in his space bus. The bus had been destroyed during an adventure prospecting for asterubies but Jimmy had taken the time and effort to rebuild it. Part of the reason was because he felt it would come in useful some day but a large part was because he had grown attached to it during the short time he and the others had used it. The spaceship was much the same as before the crash that had demolished it but Jimmy had added some extra features to help make long trips more pleasant. After half an hour into the eight-hour flight he regretted having done so.

"Libby, could you turn the volume down?" Sheen yelled. "I can't hear the audio on the DVD player!"

"What?" Libby yelled back, dancing to the hip-hop music blaring from the sound system.

"I said –" Sheen began to shout back, when Cindy interrupted him.

"We heard what you said!" Cindy bellowed back. "Everyone heard what you two have said! Can you both knock it off? I'm trying to read!"

"What?" Sheen and Libby both screamed.

"Hold it down!" Cindy shrieked.

That's it, Jimmy thought viciously. He savagely punched a button on his control console, killing power to the entertainment systems and plunging the interior of the vehicle into abrupt silence. Sheen, Libby, and Cindy halted in mid-word at the shocking change. "Now, listen," Jimmy snapped. "Maybe you three have forgotten, but I am on a serious mission here. Piloting a ship at hyperlight speed across seven star systems isn't the same as driving my hovercraft around Retroville and I need to stay alert. It's hard enough piloting and monitoring the two dozen systems that keep this craft going without any distractions, and having all of you screaming at each other with the audio systems cranked all the way up is not helping things. So zip it!"

Sheen, Libby, and Cindy looked at each other with guilty and sheepish expressions on their faces. At last Sheen spoke sullenly, pointing at Libby. "She started it."

"I did not!" Libby objected angrily. "You started watching that dumb Ultra Lord DVD first."

"Yeah, but I was wearing headphones," Sheen retorted. "It was only when you started blasting out that flip-flop music –"

"It's called hip-hop!"

"Who cares what it's called?" Cindy snarled. "All I know is that I was reading a videobook and not bothering anyone when you and Sheen started having some kind of stereo war and bothering everybody."

"That's not true!" Libby snapped back.

"Yeah," Sheen agreed. "And besides, you always mumble under your breath whenever you read."

"I do not!"

"Oh, you do, too!"

"Do not!"

As the squabbling rose in volume and intensity Jimmy groaned to himself in frustration, regretting that he had no switch to mute the sound of his passengers. Whoever said that in space no one can hear you scream, he thought, was an unrealistic optimist or had never left Earth. "All right!" he called back futilely. "If you don't settle down this minute we're turning right around and going home. I mean it! Did you hear me…?"

While Jimmy was attempting ride herd on his unruly group things appeared to be deteriorating for Minister Khormak as well. The Terran had quieted down upon learning that his friend was coming and had been escorted to the guest quarters, leaving Khormak free to continue with his plans for the upcoming fight. As a first step he contacted one of his less savory acquaintances who, in addition to promoting sporting events, ran a marginally legal sports book. After a few minutes of conversation Khomak terminated the call, looking worried. He still looked worried when Skeet and Rocco entered.

"The Terran is settled in his quarters and resting, Mr. Khormak," Skeets said. Khormak said nothing, his eyes shifting restlessly and short antennae twitching nervously. "Is something wrong, Mr. Khormak?" Skeets asked.

"Yes. Yes, there is," the War Minister answered absently. "I was just talking to Dargon about the upcoming fight. He said the best odds he could give for the fight was 3 to 2 for Vermax."

"That's good," said Skeets.

"No, that's bad," returned Khormak. "I had planned on betting on Vermax at 1000 to 1 or better odds against the human because it would be a sure thing."

"That's bad," commented Rocco.

"No, that's good, because I can win a lot more with the closer odds."

"Then that's good?" asked Skeets.

"No, it's bad," countered Khormak, standing up and pacing back and forth. "The short odds mean that the humans are apparently more resourceful than I had thought them to be. Do you recall a show called Intergalactic Showdown?"

"Sure," said Rocco. "I loved that show. But it's not on anymore."

"Do you know why?"

"Umm…the network decided to retool the show, I think."

Khomrak stopped pacing. "That's the official word. The real story is that the winning team shut it down for good. Do you remember the name of the winning team?"

"Team Jellybag, I think," offered Rocco.

"It was Team Earth!" Khormak snarled, slamming his fists down on his desk. "The same Earth that this Terran is from!" He resumed pacing. "Any race that can beat the Gorlocks is a force to be reckoned with."

"That's…bad?" Skeets said hesitantly.

"No, it's worse. As one of the losing teams the Gorlocks were going to be destroyed. But by shutting the show down the humans saved the Gorlocks. And the Brains. And the Needleheads." Khormak shook his head. "None of them will take kindly to anyone threatening the humans. And there's more." He stopped pacing again and faced Skeets and Rocco. "Do you remember the incident with Poultra on Yolkus?"

Skeets thought about it. "Didn't Poultra leave Yolkus?"

"She did. The Yolkians apparently underestimated the humans who not only escaped Poultra but defeated their King Goobot's royal fleet as well."

"For a planet without star travel they certainly get around," observed Rocco.

"Oh, that's brilliant," Khormak returned sarcastically. "I have a situtation growing worse by the minute and you favor me with brilliant comments that they…that they…" His voice faded as he thought about what Rocco had said. "They don't have space travel, do they? Their technology level is barely up to interplanetary probes. They're centuries away from interstellar travel. How could they have even gotten to Yolkus? Or expect to get here? Or even have trans-system communications?"

Skeets shrugged. "I don't know."

"I know someone who does." He picked up the handset to his comlink and barked, "Connect me with King Goobot of Yolkus at once. Tell him that Minister Khormak of Felangie is calling." He paused, listening to the communications operator. "Yes, I know I'm making a good deal of long-distance calls today. This is important. Official business." Another pause. "I am not being snippy. I have an urgent call to make and would appreciate your cooperation. Yes. I'll remember that." Under his breath he muttered, "And I have your number as well, you bureaucratic pinhead." As his viewscreen came to life his tone tone suddenly changed. "What? Oh, King Goobot. How are you today, Your Majesty?"

"Did you just call me a bureaucratic pinhead?" Goobot's dry voice came over the connection.

"Oh, no, certainly not, Your Majesty. I was referring to an underling. It's been terribly hard to get good help lately."

"Yes, I know the feeling," replied Goobot. "Was there something you wished to discuss?"

"Well, as a matter of fact," Khormak said, "I was hoping you might tell me what you know about humans."

"Humans? Whatever for? Considering alternative food sources?"

"No, just a minor diplomatic matter. I had heard that you knew something about them."

Goobot thought about this. He did not trust Khormak, just as he knew that Khormak did not trust him, and he considered just how much he should divulge and for what price. "Just a little, I should say," he finally answered.

"Would you consider them resourceful or dangerous?"

"As a rule, no," Goobot replied. "Rather stupid, soft, and dull, and hardly dangerous. Except perhaps for one. A regular pain in the shell if you give him half the chance to be." The Yolkian's eyes narrowed and his voice took on an bitter edge. "Oh yes, there's one human that I would dearly love to see out of the way."

"Really? That's…interesting. Do humans have individual designations or do they simply mingle in herds?" Khormak knew the answer perfectly well, but attempted to sound as ingenuous as possible.

"Oh, they each have names," said Goobot, warming to having an interested audience who knew less than he did. "Although rather odd ones."

"So I expect that even this pain in the shell had one. I don't suppose you ever caught it?" Khormak didn't know why but he suspected he already knew the answer. It would be inconceivable for more than one human to have interstellar communications and starflight capabilities.

"As a matter of fact, I did," Goobot answered warily. "But I'm not sure that I should tell you."

"Well, I doubt anyone would remember anyway," Khormak said casually, hoping to finesse the information from the Yolkian. "I expect that you were more than a match for anything the Terran had to offer."

Goobot preened a bit. "Well, that's true enough."

Khormak sighed. "A pity I wasn't there to see it. It would make fascinating reading in the periodicals here. Perhaps someday you'll be good enough to write it down and submit it for the court circular. The great King Goobot matched against that insignificant human speck named…umm…"

"Jimmy Neutron," Goobot finished automatically before realizing what he had done. "He never had a chance."

"I don't doubt it," said Khormak, not believing Goobot's lies for an instant. "Well, thank you so much for your time, Your Majesty. You've been very gracious. We must do lunch together someday."

"Certainly. Your treat, of course."

"Of course. Good day." Only after the connection was broken did his pleasant manner evaporate as he dwelt on the name. Jimmy Neutron. Goobot had all but admitted that he had been the one responsible for the Yolkians' humiliating defeat. And he could almost bet that that same Jimmy Neutron had had a hand in the demise of the Intergalactic Showdown show. And now this same Jimmy Neutron was on his way to Felangie, putting Khormak's own plans in jeopardy. But this time Khormak had the advantage. He knew that Jimmy Neutron was on the way and could take steps to neutralize him before the human suspected anything.

"Something, Minister Khormak?" Skeets asked, reading Khormak's expression.

"Yes," Khormak answered. "We have a special guest coming our way. I want you to take care of him." He looked up to make sure there was no mistaking his meaning. "The best you know how."

End of Part 7.