The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 11:

Back at the palace Jimmy and Sheen wasted no time finding Carl. This proved to be a simple task, as the rooms to which the servants escorted them turned out to be right next to Carl's room. While it made sense to Jimmy that the guest chambers would be near to each other it was also quite fortunate as the palace was quite a large building with seemingly endless halls and innumerable rooms. Even with his photographic memory Jimmy suspected that learning to get around the building would be a challenge.

Carl was ecstatic to see them, while they in turn were somewhat surprised to find that he was not alone. A robot with the designation Exjay Nine was present and also seemed very happy to greet them, if robots could be happy. He politely introduced himself and explained his presence.

"Good day, sirs," the robot said. "I am Exjay Nine. Minister Khormak advised me of your arrival and requested that I be at your disposal to assist you in any way that I can."

"Yeah, he's been really helpful," said Carl. "Did you know that he knows fifty-three different words that rhyme with 'llama'? Drama, comma, momma…."

"Yeah, whatever," said Sheen. "Do you have any recordings of the Ultra Lord show?"

"I'm afraid not, sir," the Exjay Nine apologized.

"Well, do you have any plasma disruptors or magma cannons we can play with?" asked Sheen, his spirits somewhat dampened.

"No, sir."

Sheen gave it one last shot. "Can you at least fold up into a truck or plane or something like the Transdaptors?"

"I regret to say that my performance specification do not indicate that I can," Exjay Nine answered after a moment's pause.

Sheen sighed. "Okay, that's all I got. Where's the food?"

"Not yet, Sheen," Jimmy interrupted before the robot could reply. "We have to get Carl set up for the competition. Exjay Nine, could you get us a copy of the rules for the upcoming match? Also, I'll need some chemicals and lab equipment."

"Certainly, sir," the helpful automaton replied. "If you will provide me with a list of the supplies you require I shall fetch them. In the meantime you can access a copy of the rules for the competition through the video terminal at the desk over there." The robot extended an appendage in the direction of the indicated desk. "Simply state your request for information and it will appear on the viewscreen."

Jimmy gave Exjay Nine a verbal list of what he required and the robot left to fulfill the order. Carl was puzzled. "Why do you want chemicals, Jimmy?"

"Mostly to compensate for the heavy gravity and thinner oxygen," Jimmy answered as he walked to the video terminal. "Haven't you noticed that you've been feeling tired and weak?"

"Well, yes," replied Carl. "But I feel that way a lot anyway."

"Uh, Jimmy?" Sheen asked. "Wouldn't using chemicals be cheating?"

"That's what I'm going to find out, Sheen. Computer," Jimmy stated, talking to the video terminal. "I require information."

Instantly the screen illuminated and a toneless voice answered, "State information desired."

"The official rules of the upcoming competition between Carl Wheezer of Earth and Vermax of Felangie."

"Accessing," the voice stated. "Information accessed and on-line." The screen filled with text and Jimmy spent the next few minutes reading it, stopping only to request the video terminal to display another page of information. When he had finished his research Jimmy deactivated the terminal and turned with a sigh of relief.

"Well, we're in luck," he said. "Apparently the interplanetary nature of the competition recognizes the need to compensate for differences in the native environmental conditions of the participants. So long as we don't artificially enhance Carl's innate fighting abilities we can do pretty much what we want."

At that moment Exjay Nine returned with a cart containing a number of marked containers and various pieces of chemistry apparatus. "I believe this is what you requested sir," the robot said.

Jimmy carefully scrutinized the supplies and nodded. "Yes, it is. Thank you, Exjay Nine."

"You're very welcome, sir." The robot headed for the door and paused. "Will there be anything else?"

"No, thank you. But can we reach you if we need you?"
"Of course, sir. Simply tell any of the palace staff that you require my presence and they will fetch me straightway. Good day, sirs." With that Exjay Nine exited, leaving the three humans alone.

"Okay, so we can help Carl so that the gravity and air aren't a problem," said Sheen as Jimmy began measuring and mixing compounds with great care. "How exactly are we going to do that?"

"First, we compensate for the gravity," explained Jimmy, swirling a large flask of somewhat viscous liquid. "I'm going to put this on our shoes."

Carl looked at the substance curiously. "What is it?"

"It's a super-elasticizer," answered Jimmy. He emptied the compound into a large empty bottle and began concocting another mixture. "When I combine it with this batch of my endlessly adaptable compound Neutrogunk and coat our shoes with it the intrinsic rebound will cushion our feet and neutralize the effect of the higher gravity."

Sheen hefted the bottle of super-elasticizer and cautiously sniffed at it. "Mmm, minty," he said. "You sure made a lot of it, though."

"Well, I'm sure the girls will want some as well. Besides, I don't know how many coats each of us will need. It will vary with each person." He took the container from Sheen and poured a measured amount in the beaker of Neutrogunk, stirring it carefully to mix the ingredients well. "Okay, it's ready. Carl, give me your shoes."

Carl complied but expressed some doubts. "This isn't going to be like that waterproofing stuff you put on my pants, is it?"

"No, of course not," Jimmy assured him, brushing a thin coat of the viscous substance on the soles of Carl's shoes. "Besides, how was I to know that the hypoallergenic fiber in your pants would be that unstable?"

Carl fidgeted nervously. "All I know is that Miss Fowl was really mad at me that day."

"She'd have been even madder if your underwear had been unstable, too," pointed out Sheen. "Consider yourself lucky."

Jimmy finished coating the soles of Carl's shoes and handed them back. "Okay, Carl, try these on and walk around a bit." Carl did so, acting as though he were wading through a land mine. "How do they feel?"

Carl considered it. "They still feel a little heavy," he replied, removing his shoes. "I think I need another coat." Jimmy obliged by applying more of the super-elasticized Neutrogunk and Carl tested the shoes again. This time the modified footware met his approval, and Jimmy applied the gummy substance to both his and Sheen's shoes.

"Now to compensate for the oxygen," said Jimmy. Once again he set to work, mixing several of the chemicals to create a watery blue solution that he transferred to Carl's inhaler. "Okay, Carl, this should do it. It's a hyper-oxygenated compound that will charge your bloodstream with oxygen. When you feel short of breath one dose should provide you with enough oxygen to last you for five or six minutes. Just keep it away from open flames. It's inflammable."

"If it's inflammable, why does he need to keep it away from flames?" asked Sheen. "I thought you only had to be careful about flames when you had things that are flammable."

"Well, you do. But flammable and inflammable both refer to substances that will burn."

Sheem stared at Jimmy. "Then why have two different words? What's the difference?"

Jimmy sighed, sensing that he was on the path to a losing discussion. "If something burns, it's called flammable. 'Inflammable' mean something is very flammable."

"Oh," said Sheen. "Then 'insane' means something is very sane?"

Jimmy gave up, sorry for his extensive vocabulary. "I guess around here it does," he said. He was save from further discussion by a knock at the door. Carl opened it to find Exjay Nine standing in the hall.

"A kiloapology, sir," the robot stated, entering the room. "But may I speak with Mr. Neutron privately?"

"What is it, Exjay Nine?" Jimmy asked, coming forward.

The robot took Jimmy aside and spoke to him in low tones. "I'm afraid it's a bit of bad news, sir," Exjay Nine said. "Your friend Miss Vortex collapsed a short while ago and had to be taken to a hospital. She's all right," the robot hastened to add, seeing his face. "I gather that our planet differs from yours in some respects, and it was a bit much for her the first day here. But she's asking to see you. And she asks that you say nothing about this to the others. It seems that she's quite embarrassed about the situation and would rather not be subject to some thoughtless ridicule."

Jimmy nodded. "I understand," he said quietly. "I'm on my way." Turning to Carl and Sheen who were standing a discreet distance away he said, "I'm going out for a little while. I should be back soon. In the meantime, you should have lunch and then start training. You should be able to find some instruction through the video terminal."

"No problem, Jimmy," called Sheen, squinting an eye and assuming the manner of a grizzled fight trainer. "I've seen more than enough fight movies to get Carl started." He turned to Carl. "Ya hear dat, kid? I'm gonna make you a very dangerous poi-son."

Carl winced and backed off. "Sheen, stop talking like that."

Jimmy sighed but decided that Carl was in no danger. "I'll see you soon."

He was wrong on both counts.

End of Part 11.